Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  A few blinks and the horrible vision changed. My niece disappeared, replaced by the girl. She huddled in the corner of the shallow nook that was crudely carved into the wall, staring at me with wide, fear-filled eyes. There wasn't a strip of clothing on her, her thin arms wrapped around her trembling body. A whimper escaped her lips and tears sprung from her eyes when I reached for her. I dropped my hand and retreated as her fear hit me again.

  “It's okay, I won't hurt you,” I told her, reaching again.

  She whimpered and tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “I won't hurt you,” I repeated slowly. “I'm here to...” My voice trailed off.

  I was here to kill the monster. He was my prey. I hadn't given her any thought. I knew she'd be here, her scent helped me find him, but I never thought about what to do with her once I killed him.

  Listening, I glanced over my shoulder at the vacant living room. There were no other sounds in the house, no sounds from outside that indicated a human was near or approaching. It was only me and her. I reached again, not backing down when she cried out and patted her arm. “I won't hurt you.”

  I took my hand back and tugged my shirt off. Carefully, I pulled her from the wall and dressed her in my shirt. Her shivering subsided, tiny fists clutching handfuls of fabric. I offered my hand again, letting her come to me. Cautiously, she placed her hand in mine and let me pull her into my arms. I cradled her gently, the fear easing from her scent as I rocked her back and forth.

  “That's right, everything's all right.” It was something my brother and Rissa always told my niece after bad dreams. I figured if my brother and Rissa said it to my niece, it was okay to say to her.

  Gears creaked as a car pulled into the driveway, lights glowing through the curtains. The lights died, the car engine falling silent. Footsteps clomped on cement, a whistled tune drifted over the air and a key turned in the lock.

  Her body turned rigid, head buried against my shoulder and she whimpered in terror. Curling back into the wall, I pried her fingers from my neck and pushed her behind me. I pressed my finger to my lips, then turned away to wait.

  My prey had entered the house.

  Lights flooded the living room, the footsteps stopped and the whistle died. A breath inhaled sharply, panic joining the smell of fear. He took one step, then another, making his way towards the couch.

  I gave him a second to see me, a second for realization to hit and fear set in.

  He whirled away, attempting to reach the door, but I grabbed his leg and jerked him back. Only to release him and allow him to scramble to his feet. I blocked him before he reached the door, forcing him to change direction. He slammed against the wall, sweat shining on his face as he panted for breath. With a cry, he reached into the wall, dragging her out. He shoved her at me, then struggled to his feet and raced down the hall.

  I caught and set her on the couch, then took off after him. In the kitchen, I grabbed him again, knocking his feet out from under him. His head cracked against the counter, and he fell to the floor, crying in pain.

  His fear filled the air, mingling with the fear of the children he hid in the wall. Their scents saturated the house, telling me a story of how their lives ended. He brought them here, terrified them, hurt them, and then killed them before throwing their bodies away like trash.

  I didn't understand why, but I didn't have to. I circled around him and hissed one word, “Monster.”

  “No, I'm sick and need help!” he pleaded, crawling on his knees.

  I threw him across the room, red seeping into my vision as I followed and pounced. Flesh tore and bones popped as he screamed in pain. I ripped into him, tearing and jerking until there was nothing left but red in front of me.

  The fury drained out of me with his death and I stumbled back. I felt his sticky blood cooling on my skin, embedded under my nails. It covered the floor, flowing like a river to where she stood in the doorway.

  Feet slipping through the blood, I swept her up. Her eyes were wide as she stared and I turned her head away knowing she shouldn’t see any of that. She clung to my neck as I carried her away, leaving the fear and what was left of the monster behind.

  Once home, I set her on the doorstep and unlocked the door. I knelt down, looking in her eyes, my hands on her shoulders. “I welcome you in.”

  She followed me inside, wide eyes following my movements. A growl rumbled in her stomach, her hand moving to it.

  I crouched in front of her, tilting my head. “Are you hungry?”

  She nodded once, her stomach growling again.

  I led her to the kitchen, shifting through the food. I never paid much attention to what my niece ate. I knew she liked candy and cake, but Rissa always said she needed more than sugar to eat.

  Finding the bread and a kind of dead meat, I made her a sandwich. If not for my brother’s midnight snacks in college, I wouldn’t know how to make one. She devoured the sandwich as I cleaned the blood off myself. She hiccupped a few times, so I filled a glass with water. She drank that quickly as well. When she finished, she yawned widely and blinked sleepily at me.

  “Are you tired?”

  She nodded, rubbing an eye with her fist.

  I carried her to the basement, curling up with her in my corner. Her skin felt warm and uncomfortable as the sun rose, but I endured the pain. My family was safe and the monster was dead. The girl was in my arms, fast asleep and free of fear.

  ****

  Each time the girl moved, I woke. And she moved a lot. One moment her arms were around my neck, the next her head against my chest, then she’d roll over onto her back, legs sprawled across mine only to roll back onto her stomach and curl up. Finally, I had to move her. As much as I didn't want to, the pain of her skin against mine was too much for me to bear. She didn't wake as I slowly worked on moving her from my lap to the floor. Once her body was no longer touching mine, I worked on reining in my need that had swirled to life from being touched during the day.

  When the sun set, she stirred and softly moaned. I moved to her side and brushed the hair out of her face. My movement startled her, causing a whimper of fear.

  “It's okay, just me,” I assured her.

  She stared with wide and uncertain eyes. I stared back, just as uncertain. She obviously needed care and protection. I could do the protection part, but caring for a human child. I barely had a clue.

  “I don't know what to do,” I informed her. “I need to go upstairs, my family will be wondering if I don't. Stay here and I'll be back.”

  She stayed silent, huddling against the wall and fear filling her scent.

  I crouched down. “You're safe with me; I won't let any monsters get you again.”

  She nodded and the fear started to fade. I darted up the stairs and peeked through the door. My brother and Rissa were on the couch, watching a news report about a murder in a suburb. My niece was playing with her toys on the floor, absently humming. I slid through, racing up to the spare room for a shirt. Once it was on, I descended the steps at a slower pace.

  Delight filled my niece’s eyes when she saw me and she threw herself into my arms. “Uncle, acrobat!”

  “Later.” I set her down and disappointment filled her eyes.

  “You don't need to get riled up before bed.” My brother picked her up and swung her around.

  “And that's not helping.” Rissa plucked my niece from him. She looked at me. “You're awfully late coming up. It didn't get too warm down there today, did it?”

  “I'm fine,” I casually replied.

  My brother turned to me, raising an eyebrow. “What emotion was that? You sounded like someone was squeezing your–”

  “Dan!” Rissa cut him off, growling through her teeth. “Not in front of Mackenzie.”

  “What?” my niece asked. “What was Daddy talking about? I want to know.”

  “No, you don't,” Rissa replied.

  I inched back towards the basement, trying to look normal. A noise below had caught my attention
, a weak whimper. Something upset her and she needed me. I had to get down there and make sure she was okay.

  “Tommy, you okay? You look tense,” Rissa asked and I froze.

  “How can you tell?” my brother chuckled.

  I nodded, then did it again slowly. “I didn't rest well; think I'll go back downstairs.”

  I hurried down the stairs, feeling guilty. I had never lied to my family before, but I was hesitant to let them see her. They wouldn't understand and want to send her back to her family. She couldn't go back to her family though. They couldn't protect her like I could. I could keep her safe from the monsters. She needed to stay with me.

  She was crying when I reached her.

  “What's wrong?”

  She whimpered in reply. I pulled her onto my lap, searching for the problem. The bottom of my shirt she wore was wet, a foul odor soaked in. A small puddle lay where she had sat, the same odor wafting up. I moved her away from the puddle, tugging the soiled shirt off and offering her my fresh one.

  How odd would it be if I asked for some of my niece's clothes?

  “Why are you still crying?” I asked as I cleaned the puddle up and her tears continued. “Did you make this?”

  She nodded, a mournful look on her tear streaked face.

  “Did you mean to?”

  She shook her head.

  “That’s okay then,” I replied and gathered her up. I rocked her back and forth until the action calmed her.

  “Tommy?”

  I pushed her into the corner, making sure she was hidden before standing. “Yes?”

  My brother slowly moved closer, eyes roaming over me. “Are you okay? You’re acting weird, like you’re trying to hide something.”

  “I'm not hiding anything,” I said. “I just want to rest.”

  “Okay,” he replied and headed back up the stairs.

  “They can’t know about you or they won’t let me keep you,” I told her, once he was gone. “But you need to stay with me. If you go back to your family, the monsters will get you. I'll make sure you’re safe.”

  “Safe?” Her voice was small, timid and delicate. But beautiful. The one word chimed like little bells. Her first word spoken to me.

  I nodded. “Yes, I'll keep you safe. Forever. If you need anything, you only have to tell me. You can speak. I'd like to hear you speak. It sounds nice.”

  She nodded and disappointment filled me. She settled on my lap again, head against my chest. I stroked her hair and touched her cheek, feeling the warmth and life in her. I wondered if this was what having a pet was like. A smaller being you took care of and kept alive.

  So far I was doing well.

  The door to the basement banged open. Feet scurried down the steps and my niece squealing with mischievous happiness. She jumped the last few stairs, landing with a huff. “Uncle, surprise!”

  I pushed the girl behind me, growling.

  My niece skidded to a halt, eyes widening in shock. Her lower lip trembled and moisture filled her eyes. Like a bubble, she burst and tears streamed down her face. “MOMMY! Uncle growled at me!”

  “Tommy!” Rissa stormed down the stairs. “You better have...” Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. “Jamie.”

  I snarled when Rissa moved closer.

  “Dan, you need to come down here,” Rissa called. She hugged my niece, consoling her crying as she stared at the girl behind me.

  My brother’s face was pale as he rushed down. He skidded to a halt. “Jamie!” He jumped back when I growled at him. His voice turned gentle, hands held out in a peaceful gesture. “Okay, everyone calm down. Tommy, let us near Jamie.”

  “No.” I growled the word, making him step back. “I won't let any monsters hurt her.”

  “But you know Rissa and Mackenzie aren't monsters and neither am I. Right?”

  I turned my gaze to my niece who was huddled against Rissa. My growl died, fangs sliding back in as I relaxed my crouch, ashamed. This was my family, I trusted them and they trusted me. And what did I do? I hid her from them, lied to them and refused to let them near.

  “That’s right, Tommy, there’s no monsters here,” my brother said and moved closer to her. “Hey Jamie, remember me? I’m Mackenzie’s dad.”

  She cringed and whimpered.

  “Let me.” Rissa gave me lots of space as she moved forward, placing a friendly smile on her face. “Hi, Jamie. Are you hungry? Would you like something to eat? A grilled cheese, maybe?”

  She nodded, letting Rissa pick her up.

  “I wanna grilled cheese,” my niece whimpered.

  “You can have one too,” my brother assured her.

  I silently followed them, feeling my emotions torn. Part of me was tense, on edge that another human was touching her. When Rissa picked her up, I desperately wanted to place myself between her and the danger. The other part was ashamed of the fear I caused my family. Fear of me.

  “I'm sorry,” I muttered.

  My brother looked back at me, lips pressed into a tight line. “We'll get this smoothed out and everything will be fine.”

  “I already fed her,” I added as we filed into the kitchen. “I made a sandwich last night. Bread and dead meat with a glass of water.”

  ****

  “She's a little girl who has a family. You can't keep her cooped up in the basement.” My brother's voice grew more exasperated with each word.

  “She doesn't have to stay in the basement all the time. Just during the day with me, where it's safe,” I protested.

  “She's not your pet,” he sighed, rubbing his hands over his face.

  “I know,” I replied indignantly.

  “You don't know how to care for a child,” he persisted.

  “I can learn,” I insisted. “I know she needs to eat and sleep. Those are the important things.”

  “There's a lot more to raising a child than that,” Rissa sighed. “Children need to eat at least three times a day with snacks, they need naps throughout the day, and constant supervision. You need to be there for them, every second of every day, even when you need to rest.”

  “I can do that.”

  “You can only do that at the night. She needs to be sleeping at night,” my brother said.

  “But–”

  “Tommy, no,” he ordered. He gave me a long, sad look. “I know you want to protect her.”

  “I can keep her safe from the monsters,” I replied.

  “Even yourself?”

  I looked from him to Rissa. “What do you mean? I’m not a monster.”

  “You're a vampire,” he replied. “And she's human. Survival trumps everything. Survival will trump her. You get hurt badly enough and you won't be able to stop yourself.”

  “I can stop. I did with you. Once.”

  “Can you stop before you hurt her? Or kill her?”

  I looked at the girl playing with my niece in the living room. She paused, a toy in her hand and eyes wide with trust. A smile filled and brightened her face. She looked so happy and safe.

  I sadly shook my head.

  My brother placed his hand on my shoulder. “You did a good thing, you found her, alive.”

  I suppressed a growl at the word, remembering the fear in the monster's house.

  “Who else did you find?” he asked.

  I looked at him. “Giles Montgomery.”

  A shocked silence filled the air. I never used names unless I felt had to. In all my vampire life, I had said my brother's name nine times, never used Rissa's name and my niece's name I had only said once. Her name was the hardest to say. The fact I said a human's name, showing no remorse about it, meant a lot.

  “They just mentioned him on the news. He was found brutally murdered in his home,” Rissa whispered. “That was him?” She sunk into a chair, blowing out a breath of air. “How long did you look for him?”

  “Last night.”

  My brother snorted. “Maybe the police force should hire vampires.”

  “But police would ki
ll the vampires,” I replied.

  He shook his head. “Forget I said anything. We need to take Jamie home.”

  I darted into the living room and grabbed her. “No.”

  “Tommy, she needs to go home. Would you want someone refusing to bring Mackenzie home?” he asked.

  I looked at my niece, who looked annoyed. “No.”

  Rissa reached for her. “Then we need to–”

  “I'll do it,” I said, refusing to let her out of my grip. “Please.”

  My brother and Rissa exchanged tense glances.

  “You take her straight home, 415 Westwood Avenue,” he ordered. “Knock on the door and leave her before anyone sees you, okay?” He stopped me at the door. “Be careful, lil’ bro.”

  As the door swung shut, I heard my niece mutter, “I don't like Jamie anymore.”

  The address my brother gave me was only ten blocks away. Even moving slowly, the journey didn’t take long. Cop cars were parked outside the house I needed and cops stood in the doorway as they talked to the humans inside.

  These were my last moments with her. After tonight, I wouldn't see her again. Even as her savior, her family wouldn't let me near her. I couldn't even let them know I was the one who saved her from the monster.

  “It's not fair,” I told her. “I did something good, stopped him from killing you. No one will see it that way. All they see is a vampire who kills humans and hate me for it.”

  She clung tighter, pressing her head against the nook in my neck.

  The wordless action comforted me and I pressed my cheek against the top of her head. I set her down and gave her a soft push. She clung to me, shaking her head.

  “Safe,” she whimpered.

  The single word vibrated within me. I hugged her back, my voice stopped in my throat. She needed protection, protection I could provide. How could I let her go when she needed me?

  I tipped her face up and did the only thing I could. The sparkle faded from her eyes as I pushed my will against hers. Her hands dropped from my neck and she turned towards the humans. When they noticed her, they grabbed her and rushed her into the house. The cops spotted me next and raced to their cars.