Being Human

by Patricia Lynne

  Memories flooded my mind as I turned down the street and stopped in front of the familiar house. Every window but one was dark, the light spilling onto the darkened lawn. A steady rhythm beat and a bell-like voice drifted from the half opened window. I pulled myself up the side and peered inside. She sat on her bed, a pad of paper in front of her and pen in hand. An image slowly formed as she drew and I watched with fascination.

  Energy hummed when I pressed against it, reminding me I wasn’t welcomed. I kept pressing, knowing if I pushed hard enough I could break through.

  Anything for her.

  My skin shredded as I forced my way through, stopping in front of her motionless figure, my hand on her cheek and said one word.

  “Safe.”

  ****

  She was safe with nothing to fear. I took her from her dangerous home and tucked her into my old resting place. The cellar was a little neglected; I hadn't used it in ten years, opting to rest in my family's basement instead. I cleared away the dust, dirt and leaves littering the cellar floor and brushed clean the posters Dan had given me.

  She huddled in the corner, eyes wide as she watched me. She whimpered when I moved closer, her voice timid. “Please don’t hurt me.”

  I dropped my hand. “Why would I hurt you? I want to protect you, you need me to.”

  “I-I-I don't understand. Please, let me go. I won’t call VF, I promise,” she whispered.

  “Don't you remember?”

  “Remember what?”

  “I rescued you from the monster who took you.”

  She was silent for a moment. “My parents told me a fireman found me wandering alone, but when I thought about it, that’s not what I remembered. I remembered eyes staring at me and watching me.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Eyes like yours.”

  “He had you in the wall, but I found you and took you back to your family,” I explained.

  Tears shimmered in her eyes and she sucked in a ragged breath. “I never met the person responsible and I always wondered why he never cared to know how I was doing. It didn’t seem normal.”

  “I care,” I assured her. “But I had to take you back because I didn’t know how to care for a human child, but I do now. I paid attention.” I jumped up. “Stay here and I’ll bring you everything you need to survive.”

  I climbed out of the cellar and rushed home. The house was dark as I slipped inside. That was good; I didn’t want my family interfering. They would object and tell me to take her back to her family. But her family couldn’t protect her, so it was up to me to protect and care for her so she’d never be afraid or alone again.

  I gathered everything I knew she’d need to survive. Some food, blankets, clothing and a toothbrush. Then I raced back to the cellar. “I got everything you need.”

  She looked at the objects I showed her and pointed to the food. “I can’t eat that, it’s raw… sorry.”

  My shoulders drooped, but I was determined. “I’ll get more, don’t worry.”

  She looked at me with those wide, brown eyes I remembered so well, her voice pleading, “Please, let me go.”

  “But I want to protect you,” I replied. “You need me to because you’re alone and scared. My niece told me you were.”

  “Niece?”

  I bit my lip, realizing I shouldn’t have said that. “Please,” I said instead. “Let me keep you and protect you.”

  A tear trickled down her cheek as she retreated back to the corner. With a soft sigh, she rested her head on her arms. Short locks of ebony fell into her face and she swiped them away from her pale skin.

  “Your hair was longer ten years ago. Why did you change it?”

  She shrugged and looked away. “I like my hair short.”

  I inched a little closer. “It makes you look pretty.”

  Red stained her ivory cheeks and she buried her head in her arms.

  I moved closer. “What’s wrong? Your cheeks are red.”

  For a second, she looked up and her eyes locked with mine. More red crept into her face as she quickly dropped her gaze. “It’s a blush. I was… embarrassed by your comment.” She rose and moved to another corner.

  I followed, knowing once I proved I knew how to care for her she’d calm down and stop being afraid.

  I grabbed the toothbrush. “Want me to show you how to brush your teeth?”

  “I already know how.”

  I set the toothbrush down and picked up the blanket. “What about the blanket? You’re shivering and that means you’re cold and need a blanket.”

  Still avoiding my gaze, she shrugged. “Sure.”

  I wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and silently congratulated myself for getting one thing right.

  Silence filled the cellar as she huddled in the corner. The fear in her scent didn’t ease as time slipped by. In fact, it grew with each passing moment. Her eyes darted to me, then raced to look away when she saw me watching. I racked my brain and tried to figure out what I was doing wrong. What was I missing?

  I wandered to what I gathered, picking up the food and examining it. She couldn’t eat it because it was raw. How did I make it unraw? Juices oozed onto my hand and I dropped it with a snarl. I glanced her way, seeing her looking fearfully at me. I picked the package back up, careful to avoid the juices spilling out.

  “I understand why you can’t eat this. I’ll get rid of it and get something else.”

  I left her behind again and this time choose my food more carefully when I arrived home. A sandwich and a glass of water. Then I hurried back to the cellar, jumping with care so as not to spill the water. I pushed the sandwich into her hand, set the glass of water next to her and retreated.

  For a long moment, she stared warily at the food. Then she nibbled on a corner. “Thank you.”

  She continued to nibble on the sandwich, refusing to look at me. I did my best to stay still, trying to be patient and wait for her to realize she was safe. When she finished, I moved closer.

  “Do you feel safe now? I fed you and got you a blanket. That shows I can care for you and keep you safe like you need to be.”

  Her eyes widened with fear. “Please, let me go home!”

  ****

  It had been simple. Find the girl, take her somewhere safe and keep her safe. Only it was turning out to be anything but simple. Even though I fed her, kept her warm and showed her she was safe, she was still terrified and pleading for me to let her go home.

  I needed help.

  Preparing myself for what I knew Dan would say, I headed up the stairs. I pushed the door to his bedroom open and slipped in. Giving him a shake, I locked eyes with him and pushed against his will. He rose and followed me without a word. Once he was seated on the couch, I released him.

  He blinked a few times and glanced around the living room in confusion. “How did I get downstairs?”

  “I willed you,” I replied. “I need to talk with you… I don’t know what to do.”

  He yawned and wiped the sleep out of his eyes. “What else is new? What’s confusing you this time?”

  “The girl I rescued,” I said, shying from her name. I would never do that to her, never use her name against her.

  “What about Jamie?”

  I glanced at the window, gauging how much time I had before the sun rose. “I took her. She was alone and scared and needed me, but she doesn’t remember me and she’s afraid of me. I don’t know how to show her it’s okay.” I looked away, hating the truth I felt coming. “You’re going to tell me to take her home, aren’t you?”

  Dan sighed. “Where did you take her?”

  “To my old resting place.”

  “Okay, let me get dressed and we’ll take her home.” He only took a few moments to get dressed, stifling a yawn as he headed back down. “Is there enough time for you before the sun comes up?”

  I nodded. “What if she doesn’t want me there?”

  “You want her to not be afraid of you, right?”

  I nodded, gratef
ul I got the courage to tell him and he understood.

  “Then you need to come. You need to show her you were only worried about her and want what’s best for her and didn’t mean to keep her against her will. And you were keeping her against her will,” he replied. “That cellar isn’t easy for a person to get in and out of. She couldn’t get out herself.”

  I snapped my mouth shut and admitted he was right. She couldn’t climb out of the cellar on her own and that was why I took her there.

  The drive to the cellar was silent. Dan pulled up to the rundown house, then turn to face me, his eyes saying he knew what I felt through our bond. Over the years, it had gotten stronger. Sometimes we felt each other’s pain.

  Her voiced drifted through the door of the cellar, calling for help. She fell silent and sunk back into the corner when I dropped down. I pushed my sorrow back and reminded myself I needed to do this.

  “I have someone who can take you home.”

  “Really?”

  Now I was the one avoiding her gaze. “He’ll take you home to your family. I’ll carry you up.”

  She hesitated briefly, but allowed me to carry her. Topside, I set her down and stepped away to give her space. She rushed to the car, practically diving in. I stopped the door from slamming shut with my fingertips. Dan nodded and gave me a reassuring smile when I looked at him. I looked back to her, desperation pushing the words out.

  “You know where I rest. If you want, you can come see me.”

  I pushed the door shut and watched as the car disappeared. Maybe I had gotten too hopeful and human, but I was certain, before the car disappeared, that she turned and looked at me.

  Feeling the sun close to rising, I headed to my cellar. Her scent filled the air and I tried to ignore it, but the image of her felt branded in my mind. Memories rushed to be remembered and the sound of her bell-like voice echoed in my ears. I knew what I had to do, but I didn’t want to put her behind me again. When the sun finally set, I dragged myself up and trudged home.

  “Tommy!” Dan yelped when I slumped to the couch. “You’re shredded. Still! Last night I didn’t say anything because you were upset and I figured you’d go hunt and heal tonight.”

  I tilted my head and pain buzzed through me. “I forgot.”

  “You forgot? Well, don’t you think you should go heal yourself?”

  I shrugged and remained in my seat.

  Dan’s lips pressed into a tight line and I felt his worry vibrate through me. “Tommy, are you going to go hunting tonight?”

  “I’ll go tomorrow… maybe.”

  Dan sighed. “Tommy, please, not again. You reacted this way ten years ago when you took Jamie home the first time. I understand that you’re upset about her, but you need to go out and hunt.”

  I threw as much human as I knew how into my voice and put to use every technique my niece taught me. “Fine, is my niece upstairs? I want to say hi first.”

  “No, she and some friends are walking over to Mandy’s house and I don’t want her to see you shredded.”

  I bolted to my feet. “She’s out walking at night?”

  “Calm down, it’s only a few blocks to Mandy’s and it’s well lit. Nothing is going to get her.”

  I snarled. “That’s how I hunt. I get into a crowd of humans and lure one away.”

  Not waiting for Dan to reply, I raced out the door as my emotions boiled. I didn’t know what moved me faster, fear of my niece on the streets at night, Dan for letting her go, or the fact the little girl I rescued now feared me. I let those feelings drive me until I heard the unmistakable sounds of humans braving the night.

  ****

  My niece and her friends were walking along the illuminated sidewalks, laughing and chatting. They made no effort to be quiet, their voices bouncing between the houses, unafraid of the night. I slowed my pace as I approached, clinging to shadows as I searched for the dangers I knew were hidden in the dark.

  One girl paused and turned, a whiff of fear drifted through the air. “You guys, I thought I saw something move in the shadows.”

  “It’s probably nothing,” my niece replied in a confident voice. For a split second, her eyes stopped on me, but she gave no indication if she saw me in the darkness. “My family wouldn’t let me walk at night if they knew I wasn’t safe.”

  The humans resumed walking, my niece leading the way. As they neared a house, a shadow broke free, taking the form of a staggering human. A click sounded as a voice growled a threat. “Gimme all your…”

  I cut the human off, slamming him into the ground, then throwing him against a telephone pole. The tantalizing aroma of blood filled the air and I dragged a breath in. Need roared through me and my injuries throbbed. A hint of desire tingled as I grabbed the human. Why had I waited so long to hunt? I could barely remember the confusing emotions of the day or the rage at the human for threatening my niece.

  A noise made my head snap up and a growl rumbled in my throat. My niece and her friends were huddled nearby. They screamed, my niece’s the loudest, when I locked eyes with them. They scrambled back the way they came, still screaming. Around me, lights flared to life, doors flying open.

  I dropped the human and disappeared into the shadows, stopping once I was in the safety of the woods. There, I fought with my emotions, pushing the hunger, need and desire back until I was in control. When the sky started to lighten, I headed home.

  My niece was waiting for me. She planted her hands on her hips and scowled deeply. “Why?”

  “Isn’t that my question?” I asked with slight amusement.

  She didn’t laugh or smile. “Why did you force your will on me and make me scream? You made it look like I was afraid of you and I’m not. I’m not afraid or ashamed that I know you.”

  “Neither was my brother,” I replied. “He wasn’t ashamed of me and he let humans know. They shunned him for it and that’s what the humans will do to you if they know you talk to a vampire. They’ll hate you as much as they hate me. I won’t let that happen to you.”

  “But you saved us.” she countered. “That man had a gun and could have shot us, but you stopped him. We shouldn’t fear someone who saves us, we should thank you.”

  “I was going to kill him in front of you.”

  “I don't care.”

  “You should. You should understand what I am and what it means.”

  “I know what you are!”

  “No, you don't.”

  “Fine!” She threw her hands up. “What does being a vampire mean to you?”

  “Being a vampire means humans should fear me. You should fear me.” Bitterness welled up in me. “She does, she only sees a monster that kills humans. I'm more than that, I know, but sometimes I wish I wasn't. Then it'd be simple. I wouldn't care about any humans, wouldn't get confused when I only want to understand.”

  “Uncle.” Her voice turned soft. She placed a hand on my shoulder, pulling me into a tight hug.

  “You never shudder when you touch me,” I said softly.

  “That’s because the only thing you are to me is my uncle.”

  “You’d never think I was a monster, even if I killed a human in front of you?”

  “No, but, I admit, I would appreciate it if you didn’t kill someone in front of me.”

  “I won’t kill someone in front of you then.”

  “Thanks.” She lightly laughed and stepped back, her eyes wandering over me. Her skin paled as she touched a finger to my cheek and pain throbbed. “Uncle, what happened? Your skin is shredded.”

  “I forced my way into her home and it ripped my skin pushing through the energy.”

  The rest of the color drained from her face. “Will you be okay? Do you need blood to heal?”

  “I’ll be fine, I’ve had worse injures.”

  “I don’t think I want to see worse,” she replied, then held out her wrist. “Will my blood help?”

  A long forgotten memory slid to the surface at the sight of the pulse throbbing under her sk
in. Her scent filled my nose, still as sweet and powerful as ever. I tried to get the smell out of my nose, but the desire glowed to life, fueled by the memories and the need to heal.

  I stumbled back and raced into the fading night. I killed the first human I saw, slamming into the car and busting the front window out. Not even waiting for the car to stop, I dragged the human from the car, pulling her into the cover of the trees. I gulped every drop down greedily, letting myself fall into the desire and need. When the blood was gone, I took a moment to rein my feelings in. The desire fought, trying to control my thoughts, but my need obediently retreated to the back of my mind.

  Once I felt a fragile peace of mind, I hid the body deep in the woods and piled leaves over it. I made it home as the sun broke the horizon, slamming the door and slumping against it as my energy drained away. The door to the basement felt miles away and a thought whispered I should have buried myself in the ground.

  “Uncle!” My niece rushed to my side. “Are you okay? You’re covered in blood.”

  “Don’t touch me,” I whispered. “Stay away, please.”

  Hurt filled her eyes and she blinked the tears back. “I’ll go get Dad.”

  I slid to the floor, unable to support myself. I hated the day.

  “Hey, lil’ bro.” Dan knelt before me. “What has you up here during the day?”

  “I got home late,” I whispered.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah, I just want to get underground. It's so hot, how do you stand it?”

  Dan smiled gently. “It doesn't feel hot to me. I'm gonna have to carry you, is that okay?”

  I managed a nod. His skin pulsed hot against mine as he lifted me. He moved as quickly as he could, only slowing his steps on the stairs. As we descended, the feeling was instant, the air cooling around me and caressing my skin.

  I curled up in my corner. “Thanks.”

  “Anytime, lil’ bro, “Dan replied. “Want to tell me what happened?”

  I looked from him to my niece. “She offered to help me heal and it made me desire, so I ran and found another human.”