Keeping His Secret: A Secret Baby Romance

by Kira Blakely

  I shook my head. “I’ll be fine. Just a bug that got a little scary, but I thought I called Natalie?”

  “Yes, but she wasn’t able to come, and Kenny was with her. He called me, and of course, I came. Hey, I have some soup for you. Just give me a minute to warm it up. You have to be starving.”

  I shook my head. “No, no thanks. Maybe some cold water, though.” I put my hand over my mouth. “My breath must be atrocious.”

  “I’ll be right back,” he said automatically, as though the place wasn’t so small that I could watch him no matter where he stood. He held the glass of water to my lips, and it was probably the best thing I’d ever remembered tasting.

  “Oh god, that tastes good,” I acknowledged, and he instantly refilled the glass and set it on the stacked crates that served as a nightstand.

  “I’m going to order you in some food.” He pulled out his phone.

  “No! That is, no, thank you. I have food for when I get hungry. I appreciate you coming by, but Bolt, if you don’t mind, I’m going back to sleep. The worst is past, I’m sure.”

  “I’ll stay for awhile and keep an eye on you,” he said, as if to assure himself he had a mission.

  “Please, I’ll be fine. I never liked it when Natalie would watch me sleep. She’d do it just to bug me when we were girls. I’ll be OK and if not, I can call or text you.” I wanted him to leave. I needed to bathe the sick smell off myself and wanted privacy.

  “Lilly, this has gone on long enough. Let me take you home with me. Mrs. Polk will look after you, and when you’re feeling better, we can talk. Whatever this is, we’ll work it out, I promise.”

  His words terrified me. I felt like I was being drawn into a web of deceit, and the baby would no longer be mine alone. I wanted so badly to trust him, but until there were explanations, it was my responsibility to face the facts, even if it meant my baby would have no father.

  I shook my head. “Bolt, we’ve been over all this. You know what has to happen and yet you say nothing.”

  He opened his mouth as if to argue but froze and looked away. Why was he so full of secrets? Couldn’t he see the path we were on? Now I had my own secret, and it involved him directly, but there was no way I could tell him without losing control of the situation. Didn’t he realize there was no chance of a relationship where there was no trust?

  “OK, well, thank you for coming,” I said in a voice that gave him permission to leave. He put his hand on my forehead once more to reassure himself, and then rose and gathered his things.

  “If you need anything, anything at all—”

  I nodded and said, “I know, I’ll call.”

  “Uh, I will be leaving for a short trip this evening, but I can arrange to have anything you need brought, or even a nurse…”

  He let the sentence drift off, and my resolve hardened at his words. I didn’t bother to ask where he was going—he wouldn’t tell me.

  “Well, then.” He paused to give me one last chance to change my mind. My response was to pull the covers over my shoulder and slide to my side with my back to him.

  “Please lock the door behind you.”

  “Oh, about that. I’ll send someone by to fix it—I damaged the frame a little when I forced the door open. But don’t worry, it will be one of my own men, and he won’t come in any further than necessary to replace the door.”

  Oh great! I thought to myself. I unearthed a hand to wave him off. He took the message, and I heard the door sort of close behind him. I wasn’t concerned. The neighborhood was old and far less dangerous than allowing Bolt to stay any longer.

  Chapter 19

  Bolton

  The last thing I wanted to do was to leave her. My instincts told me she was in more trouble than a simple virus would cause, and it was all I could do not to scoop her up and take her home with me, even if she fought me. It wouldn’t be the first time she fought me, and I hoped to god it wouldn’t be the last.

  I was driving Watterson toward the airport. I expected I was heading into a shitstorm of questions, and I also knew they’d try to keep me on board at some level. Once you were in the government, you lived with the government’s permission.

  True to form, they came at me right out of the gate. “Michele Overton has requested you to serve on her overseas security detail,” the man across the utilitarian desk said. I knew he expected me to see this as a great honor.

  I shook my head, but he interrupted.

  “In return, we will overlook certain activities—illegal activities—which could land someone very close to you in a federal penitentiary.”

  I snapped upright. “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m not at liberty to say, but I believe you trust me enough to know that I don’t threaten idly.”

  “Why won’t you tell me?”

  “Let’s just say that laying our cards on the table at this point in the game would prove rather precipitous.”

  I hated when underpaid, narrow-minded government types pulled out their dictionaries in an attempt to impress you with their power. They watched too many movies.

  “Who does it involve?”

  His fingers laced before him as he cracked his knuckles, he remained silent.

  Who in the hell could he be referring to? Was it Lilly? Was she doing something illegal to get by? Was that the reason she looked so…different? Or Natalie? Lilly would continue to cover for Natalie with her dying breath. I wish she felt that blind loyalty toward me.

  “You expect me to fall for this manipulation?” I growled at him.

  “Can you afford to ignore it?” came his reply.

  Damn! Damn! A thousand times damn! I played it cool on the outside. “How often and how long?” I asked as simply as if he were requesting me to babysit his children.

  “Depends. She’s handling some touchy negotiations right now, the details of which you understand are confidential. She’s refusing to go back after that last scare and seems to think you may have been the only reason she survived. I have to say that might be accurate. If we put someone else in for her at this stage in the game, the other team could call off the game, so to speak. You see our problem.”

  I nodded regretfully and said bitterly, “Yes, you always seem to have some sort of problem. Again, I want details regarding time commitment and your assurance that whatever you’re holding over my head will disappear after this last assignment?”

  “Of course,” he nodded with a Cheshire cat grin. “I think it safe to say that things might be wrapped up in one or two trips, a couple days each, plus travel time.”

  “When?”

  “Oh, now Bolt, surely you don’t expect me to put the workings of foreign governments on your timetable?”

  I stood up. “I think we’re done here,” I said and paused at the door. “Two trips, that’s it, then you find yourself another boy.”

  He said nothing, or at least I didn’t wait to hear it if he did. I was out his door and down the tiled, fluorescent-lit hallway with a stomach that threatened to erupt. I’d probably caught what Lilly had and hoped I’d left a little with the odious man behind me.

  * * *

  I was in a miserable position. I’d promised myself when I got back to Kentucky I’d be a free man. I could take hold of my life and bring Lilly back to me. Instead, now I had a reason to keep my distance, hoping she wouldn’t know about my absences until my commitment was fulfilled.

  Then came the question of whom I was throwing myself on the fire to protect. If I didn’t know, I couldn’t make them stop whatever they were doing, and there could be no end to my sacrifices in the name of keeping them safe. How far was I willing to go? That answer had a lot to do with whom I was helping.

  Chapter 20

  Lilly

  I was sitting on the front porch in the mid-autumn sunshine. Indian summer, they called it, for whatever reason. I knew it was bound to be one of the last nice days and wanted the fresh air. I’d begun to feel movements in my tummy, and the obstetric
ian assured me all was well after the little virus I’d entertained.

  Bolt had been generous to come. A lesser man with his money would have sent a private nurse and gone along on his merry way. He’d come himself though, and that earned a lot of points with me. What a duality there was in that man. One side of him was kind, thoughtful, and loving, and the other turned cold, silent, and distant, just before and after he’d left me. Could having another woman do that? If there was someone else, how was she putting up with his long absences from her? Was she his mistress? His sexual plaything stashed in an expensive condo somewhere warm and tropical? I doubted the tropical part—he’d never come back with a tan, but then he was never gone long enough to acquire one, especially if he spent most of the time with that mistress in bed.

  Why do I torture myself like this? I had gone to live with Bolt, and then left him, all of my own accord. He’d never stopped me, never used his power to do anything but help me with everything I needed. Other than the moody absences—the secrets I couldn’t know about—he’d never been anything other than the perfect mate. I ran my hand over my tummy and wondered what kind of a father he’d make. Certainly not someone like his own dad—he disliked everything that man said or did, and from even my small exposure to him, I could understand why.

  I’d tried to learn more from Kenny, who, as usual, was silent on the issue and urged me to ask Bolt myself. Kenny made the ideal best friend, I had to say. I knew he was frustrated at the moment with my sister. As I’d thought, Natalie’s sobriety had lasted about as long as her Savannah vacation. She’d been only too glad to get me out of the old, but newly decorated, apartment. I was in her way, like a parent. She wanted to party, and she wanted the party to come to her. From the few times I’d talked to Kenny, I could tell he was in love with her. He had, however, picked up the reins of responsibility for her welfare, giving me the get-out-of-jail card I’d longed for. For that reason alone, he was at the top of my list of people I liked.

  I was managing to grow my business a bit. Natalie had taken Bolt up on the offered job, although I had no idea how she made it through the days hungover. Her hand not reaching into my purse or till had helped me get on my feet, and I was putting a little aside each week for the baby’s needs. I had no idea how long I’d be off work.

  So far, no one had caught on. It wasn’t unusual for me to wear a voluminous smock when I worked on clients, and it easily disguised the growing mound of my telltale tummy. I’d lost some weight between the morning sickness and the bout with the virus, so that helped as well.

  Oddly enough, it was Butch who first noticed and brought it up. He’d been hanging around again, finding miniscule patches of blank skin or wanting outlines colored in. Anything to have a reason to come into the studio.

  “When are you due?” he asked, and my surprise nearly caused me to drop my needle.

  “How long have you known?” I asked worriedly.

  He shrugged. “I thought you looked different last time I was here, but this time when you leaned against me to reach my chest, I could feel your, you know, bump. Who’s the father?” he asked in a sad voice, recognizing, I suppose, that he was out of chances to attract my attention.

  “You don’t know him,” I said quickly.

  “But you do, right?” Butch was so innocently impolite that I couldn’t get angry with him.

  “I think so,” I responded, paying him back by leaving a little suspicion that I may have tarnished my reputation in his eyes.

  “Well, I had my chance, I guess,” he muttered.

  “Does this mean you won’t be needing any more tattoos?”

  “Probably.”

  “I’ll miss you, Butch. Stop by once in a while just for old times’ sake, will you?”

  “Sure. Who knows, you might be needing a baby daddy,” he answered, his voice almost lighthearted at the prospect.

  Internally, I rolled my eyes, but really I found his caring generosity priceless. “Butch, I need something from you,” I began.

  He sat up a little. “Anything.”

  “I need you not to tell anyone about this. Not even my sister. Most especially my sister. Can you promise me that?”

  “Sure, Lilly. You know you can trust me.”

  I thought back to the many times he’d been sent to chaperone Natalie. “I mean it this time, Butch. The baby’s future depends on it.”

  His eyes grew huge, and his bulky chest swelled with heroism. “I swear.”

  I believed him, or at least I told myself I did.

  * * *

  I’d just come back from an obstetric appointment. I was almost in my seventh month. The time had flown by, and so far, no one had mentioned a word, so my disguise smocks and Butch’s word were still intact. My cell was buzzing, and I was surprised to see Bolt’s name on the ID. He had been giving me the space I’d requested since the night he’d sat at my bedside. I wondered what prompted his call.

  “Hello, stranger,” he greeted me when I answered.

  “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I appreciate the time to myself,” I added, wanting him to know that I recognized what he was doing for me.

  “Are you well?”

  “I’m very well, thanks for asking. Just working and sleeping.”

  “Then just maybe you’ll consider the reason I’m calling.” His voice held a hopeful tone. I was curious.

  “What’s that?”

  “I recently acquired a vacation home in Naples, Florida, and my jet is standing by for a long weekend visit. I was hoping I could convince you to go with me?”

  I held my breath, trying to think what to say. The worst part was that there weren’t many things I’d rather have done than to take a break, and a Gulf beach was hard to beat. “Thank you, Bolt. That’s very thoughtful.”

  “I’m hearing a negative in your voice. Are you turning me down?”

  “I’m afraid so. I have plans this weekend,” I lied. “A trade show, near Cincinnati.” I couldn’t be more specific or he might try to track me down.

  “Really? You wouldn’t rather have some sun and fun?”

  God, but he was making this so hard. “Already paid for everything, and it’s sort of an industry requirement. You understand.”

  There was a long pause at his end.

  “Can I ask you a question, Lilly?”

  “Yes, sure.”

  “Are you doing this to get back at me for not always being there with you?”

  “No, Bolt, I’m honestly not doing that. Has nothing to do with that. I’m not that petty.”

  “You’re right. I wasn’t being fair. I guess I’m just disappointed. The house is big—six bedrooms, so you could have space. I just wanted you to have, well, a nice time at a getaway. No strings attached,” he finished.

  “I appreciate the offer, I really do. Maybe another time.”

  “How about dinner next week?”

  I could feel the panic rising. I couldn’t see him. There was no hiding my condition from him any longer. Strangers may not notice, but Bolt would. He knew my body better than anyone. It would just be a huge catastrophe. “Not a good time, Bolt. We’ll get together before long, I promise. And hang on to that vacation house, because someday I’d like to go.”

  “You sure now?”

  “I am, but thank you again.” I disconnected without saying goodbye. That was unlike me to be rude, but I was running out of excuses to avoid seeing him. It was all so unlike me to lie like that. I’d have been furious if I’d caught him lying to me, that much I knew. But a mother will do just about anything for her child.

  Chapter 21

  Bolton

  Michele greeted me with a huge smile at LaGuardia. I had distinctly mixed feelings about her. On one hand, I was flattered that she’d requested me. People rarely relied on me for anything other than financing. On the other hand, I’d be free of the commitment if it hadn’t been for her, and I wanted to stay close to Lilly. I sensed she needed me far more, and her welfare was much closer to my hea
rt.

  I was polite but went out of my way not to sit next to her on the flight over. I didn’t want to encourage any sense of familiarity. This was strictly business, nothing more. I suspected she had insisted on me for not only the sense of security, but because she was interested in me as a man. That, too, was flattering—she was beautiful and powerful—but she wasn’t the one I wanted. Lilly was equally beautiful, if not as sophisticated, but that was what endeared her to me. She hadn’t become jaded by her own sense of power as an attractive woman. In fact, I wasn’t entirely sure she was even aware of it. Maybe she just could never afford to be. Lilly had a genuine heart and her soul was filled with good—even if she was confused. Could I blame her? I couldn’t promise her I’d be there, not yet, anyway. There was always the chance I’d take a bullet and then she’d be alone, unfairly so. She hadn’t yet begun to experience life, and it wasn’t fair of me to ask her to jeopardize that. She deserved a full-time husband who could reasonably account for every day of his life with her, and with whom she could have a family. If she ever stopped working so much, she might have a social life, and I could lose her forever. This mission felt like a ticking clock, except there was a stick of dynamite at the end of the countdown.

  We traveled to Moscow. I hadn’t been there in some time. With the Cold War long past, espionage and threats had become cyber-based, and there was rarely the need for spoken information gathering. Michele, it appeared, had come with a specific purpose. Her aide informed me there would be no public appearances this trip. She was coming to see one individual on the inside at the Kremlin. I was to escort her but not enter the complex.

  We arrived in unmarked, unmatched, low-key vehicles that drove with the traffic so as not to attract individual attention. I rode in the front seat next to the driver while Michele sat in the back seat, immersed in the compact laptop she carried. She was friendly but seemed to understand I was keeping her at arm’s length. I wondered how much she knew about the threats that had brought me there to accompany her.