Keeping His Secret: A Secret Baby Romance

by Kira Blakely

  I plopped on the sofa in defeat. “You’re not in my way, and you know it. This house is dead without you.”

  “What did you do before I came?”

  I shrugged. “Lived in a dead house, I guess.”

  “Very funny.” She handed Jinx to me so she could get up off the floor. I realized belatedly that she was very tender and needed a hand, so I reached out for her. She’d already gotten partially to her feet, and my hand caught her breast. It was warm and full in my hand.

  “Oh god,” I said aloud. Lilly’s face flushed, and I knew in that moment that my touch was not unwanted. She’d felt the current as much as I had. “I want you so badly,” I couldn’t help but say.

  “Bolt, you know I can’t,” she began. “It’s better if I stay away from you. It’s not fair to tempt you like that. I’m only here a short time, after all.”

  “I’m going to change your mind about staying, you know,” I warned her.

  “Is that a challenge?”

  “I’d like to think it’s more of a wish.”

  She looked up at me, those marvelous eyes full of something I wanted to think was love. “I like that,” she said.

  “It can be different, Lilly.” I knew there was a pleading tone to my voice.

  “How?”

  “I’ll sell my business. No more going out of town. I swear.”

  She looked up in surprise. “Are you serious? You’d do that for me?”

  “If it meant you’d stay, just say the word.”

  She looked doubtful. “I don’t know.”

  “Haven’t you missed me?” I asked.

  “Yes,” she admitted.

  “I know I’ve missed you. Life is flat without you, and you make me crazy with the idea that you’ll leave, and I won’t be able to find you. I’d tear the world apart to get to you—you do know that, don’t you?”

  “Actually, yes, I think you would,” she nodded and held the baby closer.

  “We could be a family, you know. You, Jinx, and me.”

  Her face changed expression. “I didn’t think you were the family type,” she challenged me softly.

  “You never knew my mother, Lilly. She took the light with her. She and I—we were a family, just the two of us. My father was, and still is, not part of me.”

  “You shouldn’t say such things about your father, even if you don’t get along with him,” she chastised me.

  I let out a humorless laugh. “You don’t know him—you don’t know what he’s capable of doing. He’s a monster.”

  She paused and then asked, “Can I be blunt?”

  I leaned toward her. “Of course. Ask anything.”

  She drew a deep breath and then asked, “Do you think he’d ever hurt Jinx or me?”

  “I would kill him first.” I didn’t hesitate a fraction of a second. In fact, I surprised myself with the lack of thought preceding my statement. Her next sentence took the breath out of me.

  “What if you weren’t here?” she asked quietly.

  I’d just sworn to her that I’d never leave her, that I’d sell my business, and, although she didn’t know of it, I’d cut my ties to the government forever and completely. I was already there in my mind, but they had a habit of springing up and they were still holding my father over my head.

  “I will be here.”

  She looked at me, long and hard. “Even if he finds out about Jinx?”

  “Doesn’t change anything. You and Jinx are my family, Lilly. Run as far away as you like and stay away forever—but that will never change.”

  She began to cry then, and it was relief and surrender all at once. I pulled her next to me and held her, baby and all at her breast. I released her so he wouldn’t be interrupted, but I kept my arm around her back and kissed the top of her silken head.

  “Forever,” I reassured her, and myself, at the same time.

  Chapter 26

  Lilly

  A maelstrom of people and packages burst through the front door, and I sat back holding Jinx and watched Mrs. Polk, efficient as a military general. She stood in her heels inside the foyer, pointing and issuing orders. “Now take your shoes off before ye go in there. I don’t want to be cleaning carpets with a tiny babe asleep!” she shrilled, and the men were obviously intimidated as I saw a cascade of shoes tumbling down behind them.

  She took a moment out to check on us. “Are ye hungry?” she asked.

  I nodded. “A little.”

  She turned on her heels, shouted a few more orders to keep them busy, and then headed for the kitchen where the sound of pots and pans began clattering. I started to get up to help her, but Bolt pulled me back. “She’s in her glory, let her go,” he said.

  Mrs. Polk appeared shortly with a large tray and set it on the sofa table. She gave Bolt a stern look and said, “I think you can get up and serve the two of you, can’t you?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” he answered obediently and winked at me as Mrs. Polk marched upstairs to whip the troops into shape.

  Bolt brought a plate and glass of milk, and we laid the baby between us on the sofa. There was a wonderfully grilled corned beef and swiss sandwich on rich rye bread, pickles, and a handful of chips. I was starved and didn’t hesitate to start.

  Just then, Jinx woke up and sent up a howl. Bolt shook his head. “Here, let me walk him. You eat.” He picked up the tiny bundle, so small against his huge, manly chest, and did his version of patting him on the back as he paced the room. In the background, I could hear Mrs. Polk giving someone hell, but I stayed where I was, contentedly munching on my sandwich.

  When I was done, I held out my arms for Jinx, and Bolt sat down and ate his meal. It was such a warm, family-like atmosphere, I could have stayed there forever. My cell buzzed.

  “Well? Are you done?” It was Natalie.

  “Done?”

  “Having the baby.”

  “My goodness, yes. He was born, his name is Jinx, and we’re staying with Bolt for the time being.”

  “The kid OK?”

  The kid? “Yes, Jinx is fine and healthy, and I’m fine, too,” I added, in case she wondered.

  “OK. Kenny asked me to check. Talk to you later. Have fun.” She hung up. I decided in that moment that my sister was devoid of human empathy. No doubt it was her long association with alcohol and narcotics that had deadened her soul. I couldn’t understand what Kenny saw in her, but maybe he was one of those men who loved to fix women’s problems. He was welcome to hers. I considered him the babysitter I should have hired long before.

  “You don’t look too happy.” Bolt was wiping his hands and setting his plate down on the coffee table. His hand went to my thigh, and his fingers ran up and down the inside of my leg. I jerked a little, uncomfortable at his coming so close to me there. I was newly a mother, and there were some things that weren’t ready to be fondled or even touched. He recognized it and pulled his hand back sharply.

  “Sorry,” he muttered.

  I nodded and said, “My sister. By blood only, I can assure you. Why do you suppose Kenny puts up with her? He seems like a really nice guy.”

  “He is a nice guy, and I leave his private life alone, as he does mine.”

  “It’s not a bad strategy,” I commented. “Maybe Natalie and I would be in a better place now if we’d done a little more of that earlier.”

  An army of socked feet descended into the foyer, and Mrs. Polk’s voice could be heard ushering them out of the way. She appeared in the doorway to the family room. “Well? Come and have a look, and let’s give that baby a bath and a decent bed to sleep in.”

  I was excited. I’d had a few things at the apartment, but nowhere near the budget that Bolt was making available. I felt a little guilty taking advantage of that, but then he was Jinx’s father, whether he knew it or not. That part made me feel guilty, too. I had to see how Bolt behaved, as well as that father of his, before I made him a gift of a son.

  We followed Mrs. Polk, and she led us into the smaller bedroom next t
o the master. I don’t know how she accomplished it, but it was gorgeous. Its bed and dresser had been moved out, and in their place stood a complete nursery. A crib in pinstripe blue and white, changing table, bassinet, dresser, small single bed, rocking chair, and all sorts of eye-catching stuffed animals and toys decorated the space. Everything was in a soft powder blue and white. She stepped to the side and revealed a lineup of a stroller and a swing for when he was able to support his little head. She opened the dresser drawers to stacks of baby clothes. The closet revealed even more, and the changing table shelves beneath held bottles of lotions, creams, cleansing wipes, and tiny diapers. It was adorable, and I was so grateful.

  I was struck by the difference in what Bolt could provide and what I could provide alone. Did I have the right to deny my son the benefits his father could give him?

  Mrs. Polk helped me, and we put the baby down to sleep. I knew he would be up off and on through the night and asked if we could bring the bassinet into the bedroom by me for the time being. “It would be so much easier on me if I can just feed him without having to leave the room.” It was no sooner out of my mouth than Bolt was wheeling the bassinet, and Mrs. Polk was following with an armload of diapers and clean nighties behind. I felt like a queen. Jinx was already asleep in his crib, so I’d move him the first time he awakened.

  Mrs. Polk looked around, satisfied, and clapped her hands. “That was fun!” she remarked and pulled a credit card out of her pocket and handed it to Bolt. He, in turn, handed it to me.

  “In case you think of something else you want or need. You probably could use some things for yourself?”

  My refusal was on my lips, but I gave it a second thought and accepted it. I told myself I’d pay him back.

  “Listen, I’m full, and the baby is sleeping. Bolt, thank you for all this, and Mrs. Polk, thank you for the work you pulled off in getting this all done so quickly. I’d like a hot shower and some sleep. I know I’ll be up through the night.”

  They both nodded and disappeared, leaving me to the luscious shower and one of my stretched-out nightshirts I’d brought. I slid beneath the satin spread on Bolt’s king-sized bed.

  My alarm went off, and oddly enough it sounded just like a baby crying. It had begun…and I loved it.

  Jinx had been moved into the bassinet next to my bed. I guess I could have slept in the twin bed in his room, but I liked the additional real estate of the master bed. About four in the morning, he started squalling again, and I dragged myself from sleep to find Bolt sitting on the end of my bed, changing the baby’s diaper. He wrapped him in a receiving blanket and crawled in next to me, handing me Jinx to feed. I was only half awake, and having his strong presence next to me was supportive and comforting. When Jinx finished, I laid him back in the bassinet and looked over to see Bolt, sound asleep on the other pillow. I leaned over and kissed him on the forehead and cheek and rolled back over to finish out the night.

  Chapter 27

  Bolton

  I left the house briefly that first day to talk with Mr. Fred and let him know to be on the alert for my father. I wanted everything to appear normal. When I returned, Mrs. Polk reminded me that the nanny candidates were beginning to arrive.

  I walked into the family room to find Lilly sitting with a stern-looking woman with cropped hair and a down-turned mouth. Lilly was giving me a desperate look over the woman’s head, and I brought the interview to a sudden halt.

  “You were kind of rude to her,” Lilly commented as the woman left.

  “They’re here to work for you—not you for them, sweetheart. Nothing but the best for Jinx, and you’ll know it when you meet her.”

  I sat in the corner of the room and let Lilly handle the remaining interviews. There was a wide variety of candidates, most of whom I wouldn’t have let in the door. Lilly had a similar reaction, I think, because by the end of the day, she hadn’t invited any of them to meet the baby.

  “I’ll be right back,” she told me and went up to him. Mrs. Polk had been watching him while the interviews took place.

  Lilly was gone for quite a while, and when she came back, she’d showered and changed her clothes again. She sat down on the sofa and patted the cushion next to her. I didn’t have to be invited a second time and sat down next to her.

  “So, they didn’t go so well, huh?” She shook her head. “No matter, we’ll get some more in tomorrow,” I reassured her. She didn’t answer but laid her head on my shoulder, and I pulled her close. I could smell the fresh shampoo in her hair, and if there was ever a moment of peace and utter contentment since my mother died, that moment was it.

  We napped against one another lightly, our bodies searching for the familiar hollows and hills of our individual landscapes. It felt so right. I was awakened by a buzzing from my phone—there was someone at the gate requesting entrance.

  “Let them in,” Lilly said quietly, her eyes half opened. “It’s someone I invited.”

  She got up and went to the front door, opening it and stepping outside. I followed and was surprised when she called my name. “Bolt, come give a hand, would you? I’m not supposed to lift anything yet.”

  I headed out, and there was Lilly, standing next to an older lady. The both of them were surrounded by bags and boxes which the Uber driver was reluctantly unloading from his vehicle. I helped him and tipped him heavily. “Good luck,” he wished me as he got back into his car and headed down the drive.

  I turned around to speak to Lilly, but she and the woman were already inside. There was nothing left for me to do but carry in the luggage. Inside, I found them in the family room. The woman was holding Jinx, smiling and touching his feathery cheek.

  Lilly spoke up first. “Bolt, I’d like you to meet Mary, our new nanny.”

  The name rang a bell, and I remembered her mentioning earlier that she had someone named Mary who lived over the studio. Was this the same one?

  Lilly continued. “You remember, she lives over my studio and is going to watch Jinx when I go back to work? Well, I thought since she’s going to have him part-time and lives all alone in that little apartment with the long flight of stairs…”

  “I get it,” I nodded and held out my hand to Mary, a smile on my face. I could see Lilly was happy, and that was all that mattered. “Let me ask Mrs. Polk where to put her things,” I said and turned to find Mrs. Polk already halfway up the stairs, two bags in hand.

  “Hurry up,” she said. “Dinner is almost ready.”

  I shrugged. “Well, Jinx, ol’ man, it appears we are now outnumbered.”

  * * *

  We had settled into a routine, which, when translated, meant whatever Jinx demanded. I’d never been around babies, and I wasn’t prepared for the rigid routine they required. Mrs. Polk hummed as she cooked, evidently quite happy to have a full house, with a baby included. Mary tended to Jinx, and Lilly ruled over the both of them. It was a good formula, and I was happy as long as Lilly didn’t kick me back out of the master bed into a guest room.

  During the days, I took Lilly on long drives through the country. We made a point of stopping at a new restaurant each time for lunch. She expressed her milk for Jinx, which gave us a window of about four hours before the pressure built up again and she needed to go home and feed him. She quickly regained her figure, and I went with her this time as she shopped for clothes to accommodate her new, more buxom form. I didn’t suggest any personal shoppers but gave her my support to choose anything she wanted—even if she wore jeans everyday. She surprised me however, and picked out a varied wardrobe. There were jeans, of course, since she’d begun to ride gently with Mr. Fred again. She bought sportswear and casual outfits for winter—lots of corduroy, angora sweaters, and colorful hats and gloves. Her hair was even lusher with her improved diet, and she needed very little makeup. Nature’s own glow suited her quite well.

  At night, she slept against me. Jinx had been remanded to his nursery, where Mary often slept on the twin bed so as to catch him at his first cry. L
illy’s head always found the spot beneath my arm where she could rest her head, and my hand could still reach over her. She’d place my hand on her bare breast, and who the hell was I to argue? I often woke up with a sticky hand from the tiny leaks, but it didn’t bother me in the least. We’d begun showering together, and I couldn’t stop myself from growing hard with her wet skin so nearby.

  One morning she’d turned toward me in the shower, rinsing the shampoo from her long hair. Her amethyst eyes sparkled as her tongue traced her lips. Her hand pulled the soap from its recess and she spun it between the long fingers of her hand. She tilted her head upward to kiss me, and I closed my eyes as the water pelted my face. I jumped when I felt her hand, but quickly tensed as it began to slide up and down my now-soapy penis. Lilly leaned into me, her breasts pressing into my chest. One of her hands pumped me, fingers fluttering against the tip, and her other hand reached around to my back to insert one finger between my cheeks. It was intensely erotic and only took a few minutes before the orgasm hit and rolled down my body like an electric shock, making my knees give way. I ended up sinking to the floor of the shower, pulling her on top of me. I kissed her full, willing lips and slid my hand between her thighs, wanting to pleasure her, but she held my hand off and shook her head. “Too soon,” she said, and I understood, but kissed her breasts and ran my hands over her soapy form.

  We sat that way a long time, on the floor of the shower, Lilly on my lap as we fondled one another in the spray. When the hot water cooled, I flipped it off and bundled her in thick towels, carrying her to the bed. I opened my nightstand and pulled out a small vial of lotion I’d bought with her in mind. Straddling her naked form as she lay, tummy-down on the bed, I lathered my hands and began giving her a back rub, pressing hard at the small of her back where I knew the muscles had become the sorest while carrying Jinx. I let my fingers roll in-between her vertebra, and she moaned with pleasure. Eventually, I moved my hands around to her front, cupping her magnificently full breasts, my fingers lingering softly on her tender nipples. She made soft sounds of submission, and I let every sound sink into my brain to be remembered.