by AR Colbert
But where was here? I rolled to my side to get a better view of the room. It was a small and simple bedroom, scarce of much furniture. Apart from my bed, bucket, and a small table beside it, the only other object in the room was a cot on the floor near the door. Two sock-covered feet hung off the end of the cot, exposed from under a blanket that was too small to cover his lanky frame.
“Dax!”
He groaned and shifted under the blanket.
“Dax, wake up!”
He sat up and I gasped, taking in his red puffy eyes and the bruises on his neck.
“Oh my goodness, are you okay?”
“I’ve been better.” He looked around, rubbing sleep from his eyes and wincing. “Where are we?”
“I was hoping you knew.”
Neither of us attempted to get up right away. My muscles protested any moves I tried to make, and Dax probably felt worse than I did. He at least put up a good fight at the camp. All I did was shoot an ally and immediately get taken out. What a joke.
Speaking of allies, where was Raf? And Rider? The memories from our fight were slowly coming back to me, and I pushed through the pain to sit up on the edge of my bed. It was chilly outside of the blankets, and I was surprised to find myself bathed and wearing clean clothes. They didn’t fit very well, but they covered me up and stayed in place. That’s all I really needed.
I stood and steadied myself with the bed frame. The room was spinning, and I closed my eyes, waiting for my head to adjust enough to make it to the door. Dax was sitting up then as well.
“The strangers with the masks...”
“Who?” Dax squinted in confusion. Or maybe not. His face was so swollen it was hard to tell.
“After I, uh... after you got knocked out, a group of strangers in masks came to fight the Exiled. I thought they were Embers. They wore bandannas on their faces like the group who rescued Frank from the trial. Only they said they didn’t work for Frank. This must be where they live.”
I moved to the window, but the view was blocked by a thick forest. The little light that trickled down made me believe it was probably early morning, but the light was gray from an overcast sky and blocked by branches, so I couldn’t be sure. If I was right it meant we’d been here for a full night.
“Have you seen Raf? They rescued him as well. Or at least, I think they did.”
“I haven’t seen anything since you stunned me.”
Oh. So he did remember.
“I’m sorry about that. I was trying to save you from getting choked.”
“Next time maybe try to aim for the choker, not the guy on the receiving end.” He grimaced, rubbing his neck.
It wasn’t worth arguing over. Combat clearly wasn’t my strong suit. Ignoring his remarks, I made my way over to the door instead. I turned the knob, trying to ease it open just enough to peek out, but the door wouldn’t budge.
“It’s locked.”
“Of course it is,” Dax snapped. “You think they’d let us walk out of here?”
“I don’t know. I don’t even know who they are. Like I said, I thought they were part of us.”
“There is no us, Claren. You are not one of the Embers.”
“I am just as much as you are.”
“Ha! I would never try to have Frank killed!”
“I didn’t want Frank to get hurt.” I sat back down on the bed, pulling a blanket across me again. Dax was going to have to let the past go. I didn’t know how many times I was going to have to endure him calling out my previous sins. Enough was enough. Didn’t he see that I was trying to make things right again? I thought Frank was endangering Cato back then. I didn’t know the full truth yet.
“I was just trying to keep my brother alive.”
Dax shifted uncomfortably, his mood swinging quickly away from resentment and more toward...guilt? But he didn’t speak.
“Dax? Is there something you want to say?”
He averted his eyes, staring at the floor. “None of us wanted Cato to die, you know.”
“I know.”
He paused. What was it he was holding back? If anyone was at fault for what happened that day, it was me.
“I didn’t know Cato would be there. I didn’t know any of them would be there. I had a plan to get Frank released, but it didn’t work,” I admitted.
“Plans don’t always work the way they’re supposed to.” Dax sighed. “I was part of the plan that day too.” He looked up at me, his eyes misty.
“What happened?” I whispered.
“I was in the courtroom, spectating as a Protector. But I told the Outsiders I’d watch Justice Hines. It was my job to let them know whether it was safe to proceed or if they needed to retreat. I thought she had a stun gun. There was no way for me to know she’d use deadly force. Especially with all the cameras that were there. I just didn’t see it coming.”
He dropped his gaze, shaking his head in agony. I had no idea he’d been carrying around all this guilt. The weight must have been nearly unbearable. Was this what Cato was referring to in his note when he told me something had gone wrong? When he said “trust no one,” was he talking about Dax?
But it wasn’t Dax’s fault. He didn’t know. None of it would have happened at all if I hadn’t turned Frank in to Emmaline in the first place. That guilt was mine to bear. Not his.
“It wasn’t your fault Dax. You’ve got to let that go.”
He shook his head. “I can’t. I got Cato killed and wound up here with you. Now we’re gonna die, too.”
Dax was such a jerk. Even in his most tender and vulnerable moments, he couldn’t resist taking a jab at me. But I couldn’t let him get to me. We had to find a way out of here, and it would be a lot easier to do if we stayed on speaking terms.
“We’re not gonna die. I told you, Raf is here somewhere. I’m sure he’s working on a plan to bail us out any minute now.”
Dax laughed, but there was no humor behind it. “Yeah, speaking of letting things go, it’s time for you to let Raf go. Don’t you know? Raf is not your knight in shining armor. He’s got his priorities, and you are not at the top of that list.”
I pulled the blanket tighter around me, as if it would help shield me from his words.
“It’s fine if you don’t think he’s coming, but you don’t have to be hateful about it. I didn’t do anything to deserve this from you.”
“Sometimes the truth hurts, Claren. And since no one else seems too excited about telling you what’s really going on, I have to do it. I’m not scared of being the bad guy.”
I tensed, unsure of what to expect next. Dax was speaking like a crazy person. First exposing his dark secret and guilt, then going into villain-mode and attacking me for no reason. There was no telling what he’d say next. And honestly, I wasn’t sure if he was in a good enough state for me to believe anything he said anyway. I certainly wasn’t going to prod him to continue.
But I didn’t have to. His mouth was running just fine on its own, unfortunately.
“Did he tell you the real reason he left Classen City in such a hurry?” He didn’t give me time to answer before continuing. “He was rescuing his wife.”
No.
No way.
Dax was obviously lying. Raf wasn’t married. He got matched, but not to someone he loved. I didn’t think he even knew her that well. If anything, he probably ran away to avoid getting married.
And yet, Dax seemed completely sincere. My stomach churned, sweat breaking out across my nose. It couldn’t be true.
Dax laid down again, crossing his fingers into a pillow behind his head as he stared smugly at the ceiling.
I wanted to call him on it. To catch him somehow in this lie. But a knock at the door stopped me in my tracks.
The knob twisted and the door swung open to reveal a petite woman with a warm complexion and soft eyes. “You’re awake.” She smiled. “That is wonderful news.” She carried a tray with two steaming mugs and rolled wet towels.
I considered making a
run for it, but I was weak. She carried nourishment for us and looked like she didn’t have a trace of cruelty in her entire tiny body, so maybe it wouldn’t hurt to stay a little longer. Maybe I could even get some answers. But as soon as I had enough strength I was going to go find Raf. He couldn’t be far.
She set the tray on my bedside table and felt my forehead with the back of her hand. I pulled away, but her sad smile and gentle demeanor calmed me again. “You don’t have to be afraid, Claren. I only want to help.”
“How do you know my name?”
She smiled again. “You’re famous around here. But that’s all I can say for now. I brought you some warm broth. It will strengthen your body, and we’ve ground some painkillers into it to make you more comfortable as well.”
I accepted the mug from her, but I didn’t drink from it. She moved over to Dax, checking his temperature like she did mine. Then she took the small towels and gently patted around his eyes. He inhaled sharply through his teeth, and she apologized.
“I know they’re cold, but they’ll help bring the swelling down if you can stand it. You two took quite a beating. You’re recovering well, though. You should be back to normal in no time.”
“Where are the others who were with us?” I asked.
“They only brought one other back. He’s recovering in a separate room, but I assure you he’s doing fine. I expect you’ll be ready to get around and see each other by tomorrow.”
Was he really? Or was she trying to pacify me? And what about Rider? That answer wasn’t good enough.
“We can’t stay until tomorrow. We’ve got people waiting on us back in the city. We’ve got to go before they come looking for us.”
“They won’t find you here. Don’t worry about that.”
I didn’t know if I should take comfort in her words or if they were a threat. But if they were a threat, it was the friendliest sounding threat I’d ever received. This was all so confusing.
Dax, on the other hand, didn’t seem threatened at all. He was already sipping contently from his mug. I guessed it was easy for him since he expected to die here anyway.
I studied the woman again. “Why should I trust that this broth is safe to drink?”
“Well you should never trust anyone you don’t know. And you should rarely trust those you do know. But in this case, if I wanted you dead I wouldn’t have gone through the trouble of cleaning you up and tending to your wounds. It would have been much easier to finish you off when they brought your unconscious body into my house yesterday.”
She tilted her head. “I don’t want you dead, Claren. It’s just the opposite. I will do everything in my power to keep you alive.”
I breathed in the aroma of the broth, warm and salty in my nose. It smelled wonderful. And maybe Dax had a point, too. If the world was as bad as he said, if we were going to die anyway, if Raf was married and I wasn’t accepted by the Embers and all of this was a lie, then at least I could enjoy one last mug of warm broth.
I drank it quickly and rested my head back on the pillow. The woman pulled a blanket up over me and said something about resting well. But I couldn’t hear her. Darkness was closing in around me again and I welcomed it with open arms.
CHAPTER 20
Time moved in strange ways in that tiny wooden room. We were deep enough in the forest that the light from the window was deceiving, and I was drowsy enough that my sleep patterns were erratic at best. Dax slept even more than I did. But we were well cared for.
After just another day of rest, or maybe two, the small woman who had been tending to us proved herself honest. Raf’s voice called out from the other side of our door along with three rapid knocks.
“Claren? Dax? Are you awake?”
I sat upright, combing quickly through my tangled hair with my fingers. “Yes, come in!”
Dax rolled over and groaned, but he sat up as well. I tried to stand as the knob turned and Raf’s familiar face peeked around the corner before entering, but I moved too fast.
“Whoa, sit down!” Raf chuckled. “We’re not in any hurry here.” He rushed to my side and lowered me down after greeting me with a warm hug.
“I’m just so happy to see you! You look well. Have they been treating you alright?”
I thought I saw something shift behind his eyes, but it must have been my imagination.
Raf grinned, “Absolutely. Carmen has been wonderful to me.”
Carmen. Against all rational thinking, I felt a shot of jealousy tunnel through me. Was Carmen the name of his wife? No, of course not. Carmen must be the woman who had been taking care of us. Raf wasn’t married. Right?
“She’s been good to us too, but I’m ready to get back home. Do you have any idea when they’ll let us go?”
Raf’s eyes shifted again, and I wasn’t imagining it this time. Something wasn't right, but he had no intention of telling me about it. Just as quickly as the first time, he blocked me out and put on a happy face.
“I imagine it’ll be soon. They just want to make sure we’re strong enough to get there before letting us go.”
“Who are they, anyway?” I asked.
“This is another Ember camp.” He said it like it was obvious. But I definitely remembered the man who saved me saying he didn’t work for Frank.
I narrowed my eyes, suddenly finding it difficult to trust anything Raf said at all. Stupid Dax. I shouldn’t have believed a word he said. Now he’d messed with my mind and caused me to see everything through a skeptical lens.
But I had to be sure. I reached out and pulled Raf’s hand into mine, intertwining our fingers and projecting as much love and comfort his way as I could. I wanted him to feel safe with me. Safe with telling me the truth.
“Well I’m glad they came to our rescue.” I returned his smile. “I assume you know them? Do they work for Frank as well?”
Raf’s smile faltered and he pulled his hand away to run it through his hair. He didn’t reach out for me again when he finished.
“I’ve met a few of them while we’ve been here.”
“Oh, so you didn’t know them before?” I leaned closer to him and Raf stood, putting his hands in his pockets.
“Not personally.” He was staring intently in my direction. We were back to the same mental cat and mouse game we’d played when we first met. He was on to me. And he knew I was on to him.
I pulled my eyes away, unable to hide my hurt.
“Claren?”
“Hmm?”
Raf squatted down in front of the bed where I sat, but I still couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact. I was still too weak to adequately block my emotions, and I didn’t want him trying to console me. He had no right to hide things and try to make me feel better about it.
I wanted to ask him outright. What are you hiding? Oh, and are you married? But it wasn’t the time. Not here. And not in front of Dax. I had too much pride to let Dax get an “I told you so.”
Raf put a hand on my knee, finally bringing my attention back to his face. There was a sadness behind his eyes that didn’t match his words. “You’re safe here. As I said, I haven’t personally met this group until now, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that they will take care of you. Don’t worry.”
That part I believed. “I’m not worried about them hurting me.”
Raf’s eye twitched, just barely. But it was enough to confirm my suspicions. He was hiding something. And I was done with this conversation.
“But you’re right,” I continued, “we’ll need to build some more strength before heading back home. And my head is kind of hurting again. I’d better get some more rest.”
Raf stood again, never pulling his eyes away from me. Why wouldn’t he just say whatever it was on his mind?
“Okay. Yeah, that’ll be good.” He said it as though he was convincing himself rather than agreeing with me. “I’ll send Carmen in with some more soup. Try to get a nap and I’ll be back by later. There’s someone else who was wanting to see you as we
ll, if you’re up to it.”
I blew air from my nose. “We’ll see.”
Raf turned and clapped Dax on the back. “Good to see you looking better too.”
Dax nodded. “Yep, glad you stopped by.”
Raf turned to look at me once more before leaving. I laid back on my pillow, leaving him no doubt that I was ready for him to go.
I expected Dax to smart off the moment the door clicked shut behind Raf, but he stayed silent. Maybe he hadn’t picked up on the unspoken fight Raf and I just had. Or maybe he’d just finally learned to keep his mouth shut.
I drifted off to sleep again after more soup—and painkillers—and I had the most vivid dream. Cato and I were kids, swinging from a tree branch into Dirkum Creek in the early summer sunshine while the water was at its highest. We weren’t supposed to be there, but the call of the cool water was too tempting. We took turns, swinging down and releasing ourselves with a roar of laughter and a splash. It was my turn. I climbed up high on the bank and grabbed a hold of the long branch, but a loud crack echoed around us as I pushed off with my feet, and the branch gave way. I heard Cato yell out as my body hit the ground, knocking the wind out of me and leaving me gasping for air. Then I heard Dad’s voice.
It was clear and strong, rich and deep, exactly as I remembered. He said my name, and I knew I was safe. Cato and I had messed up. We’d gotten ourselves into a bad situation. We were hurt. But Dad was there to save us. Dad always saved us.
“Is she alright?” he asked.
“I think so,” Raf said. “She just needs some rest.”
Wait. Raf?
I opened my eyes and looked around, but the small room was quiet and still. Dax snored softly from his cot, and no one else was there. My heart was pounding in my chest. It was so loud that I almost didn’t hear the voice coming through my window a second time.
“Well I don’t want to wake her,” he said, “but I’ve got to see her.”