by Ambria Davis
You see, Stacy and Mimi were close friends back then, but it was cut short because of Stacy and me having a relationship. It was kind of fucked up too, because they were supposed to be good friends, but you know everyone has a “supposed-to-be” friend, who secretly be hating. For Mimi, Stacy was the one. To be honest, she was the one who pursued me. Yeah, I knew it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t resist pussy—ever.
Thinking about Stacy reminded me that I needed to check on my son. I haven’t seen him in a couple of days. I really needed to tell Mimi about him, but I didn’t know how. Shit, if my cheating didn’t make her leave, I knew this would. I should’ve told her about him, but I couldn’t. I was too scared of losing her.
I slowly came out of my thoughts as I pulled into the driveway of my home. I looked up at the house and saw it was in total darkness, which could only mean that Mimi wasn’t home. I wondered where the hell she could be at. Shit, the sun’s about to come up. Shaking my head, I turned off my car and then got out. I walked to the trunk and grabbed my bag and walked toward the house. Before I could get to the door, I noticed my house keys were missing off of my key ring. The only person who could’ve taken them was Mimi. This was that bullshit that I didn’t have time for. I pulled my phone out and tried to call her, but only got her voice mail.
I checked to see if the spare was there, but it wasn’t. Now I knew for damn sure that her ass was tripping.
I decided to wait to see if she was going to show her ass. Hopefully, it would be sooner rather than later. I called Stacy to see what’s been up with my li’l man.
“Hello,” she answered like she was wide awake.
“Girl, you sound wide awake. What the hell you doing up this time of the morning anyway?” I asked.
“First of all, the last time I checked, I was grown, and you were Kaylin’s daddy, not mine,” she responded with an attitude. That’s why I could’ve never fucked with her ass like that. She’s too damn flip for me, and I hated a chick with a stank attitude. That’s why I never respected her ass. She’ll always be a bitch to me.
“Look, bitch, check that attitude and tone it before you make me fuck you up. Now, I’m going to ask you one more fucking time, why does it sound like your ass is wide awake and shit?”
Sucking her teeth, she screamed, “Because I just came from Club K3, Kay! Damn!”
“What the fuck were you doing at my woman’s club, and where the fuck my son at?”
“Nigga, what the fuck you mean? I went to a fucking party. I was tired of sitting ’round the house all day, and your son is at one of my friend’s house,” she replied.
I grabbed a cigarette to calm my nerves. I was pacing back and forth, because right now, all I wanted to do was fuck this bitch up. Shit, my nerves was that damn bad. There were three things in this world that I didn’t play about: my kids, my woman, and my money, all in that order.
“Bitch, I’ll be over there later on, and when I get there, my son better be there, or we’re going to have a lot of fucking problems. Ya dig?”
I didn’t give her bitch ass time to answer before I hung up the phone. She thought I was fucking with her, but I was not. If my son wasn’t there when I got there, I was gonna show her who was the fucking boss. Fuck, I paid all her bills and shit. The only thing I asked her stupid, stank ass to do was to take care of my son and to stay away from Mimi and my family. Sometimes, I regret sleeping with that ho. She’s never done shit the right way. The bitch liked testing me, but I was gonna put her in her place . . . very soon. Sometimes, I thought she be doing that shit just to cause problems. Sooner or later, I was going to have to put my foot up her no-good, trifling ass.
Looking up, I didn’t even notice Mimi and Troy standing there. I knew we were about to have more problems, because I’m pretty damn sure that they overheard my conversation with Stacy just now.
“Where were you, and why wasn’t you answering the phone?” I asked. She didn’t even answer me. She brushed right by me and walked to the front door like I wasn’t talking to her. Shit, I wasn’t having all that.
“Mimi, I know you hear me talking to yo’ ass,” I said, but she kept on ignoring me. I looked back at Troy, but she rolled her eyes and shook her head. These bitches tripping. They don’t want to fuck with me right now. I turned to see that Mimi had done made it into the house.
“Mimi,” I called out once I had gotten inside, but she said nothing. I walked over to see if she was in the kitchen, but she wasn’t there. I then walked into the living room, only to see that she wasn’t in there either. I know where she was, though. As I walked up the stairs, I made a mental note to check all of my bitches. They asses were trying to cut up, but I wasn’t going to let them.
I made it to our room, where I found Mimi putting clothes in her suitcases. Now I know like hell she wasn’t trying to leave me. She must really be out of her mind if she thought that I was going to let that shit happen.
“Mimi, what’s up? I know you ain’t trying to leave me,” I said, looking at her from the doorway.
“Shit, nigga, if you think that me or my kids are staying here, then you must be out yo’ rabbit-ass mind, Kay,” she replied.
At the mention of my kids, I moved over to the bed where she was packing. She must be tripping, because she ain’t taking my fucking kids nowhere without me. I ain’t having that. We’re a family, which means we’re supposed to be together and get through shit like this together.
“Look, ma, I know I messed up and shit, but you ain’t taking my kids nowhere,” I said.
She laughed, shook her head, and went back to packing. I looked on. Honestly, that was all I could do. I knew if I did anything else, it wouldn’t be talking. She walked out of the room, and I followed behind her into the kids’ room.
“Mimi, I said you wasn’t taking my kids anywhere.” I pulled her arm, trying to stop her before she could make it out of the room.
“Nigga, you better get ya fucking hands off of me,” she replied.
I swear if she wasn’t my woman, I would’ve beaten the fuck out of her. I hated when a bitch got flip out the mouth.
“Mimi, you gon’ have to chill with yo’ smart-ass mouth. I ain’t got time to play with yo’ ass,” I said, then released her arm.
“Like you have time for me any other time, huh? Look, just move out of my way so I can get out of here, Kay,” she said, trying to move, but I blocked her.
“Mimi, I’m sorry. I really am.”
I really was. This was the woman that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I wasn’t about to let her go.
“Yeah, I know—you’re sorry. A sorry excuse for a man, now move out of my way.”
She moved past me. Words couldn’t explain how I was feeling right now. I fucked up royally, and I knew that I would have to pay for it.
“What can I do to make this right?” I walked up behind her, asking softly.
“There’s nothing you can do right now, Kay. Just let me be, give me my space. Shit, I might as well find me a nigga who’s going to appreciate me, because, obviously, you don’t,” she replied while walking down the stairs with her bags.
“Don’t get fucked up. If I find out that you got another man, I’ma dead you and him, and that’s on everything that I love,” I snarled, mad as fuck.
She must be out of her mind if she thought that I was going to let her mess around on me. Yeah, I know I sounded selfish, but fuck all that—she belonged to me.
“Yeah, well, watch me, nigga,” she said, walking out the door to leave.
I followed her outside where I grabbed her and looked dead in her eyes and said, “Please believe that what I said ain’t a threat. It’s a promise.”
“Fuck you, nigga! Go back to that bitch you was just with. Or better yet, go back over to Jade’s house. I mean, you was over there earlier, huh?” she said, getting into her car.
I stood there like a dummy, wondering how the fuck she knew I was over there.
“What? Cat got your tongue? Now
you can’t speak?” she asked.
She backed her car out of the garage. “Stupid ass, standing there looking like a fucking fool. Bitch, yeah, I know, which is why you should keep ya pieces in line and stop them bitches from calling my phone,” she said.
“How you know where I was?” I asked.
“Fuck you, nigga! Never dish out shit that you can’t take. Watch me work,” she said before she pulled off.
I can see now that this shit wasn’t going to be easy to overcome. But one thing I knew for sure was that I wasn’t losing my family for no one or nothing.
Mimi
Kaylin could save all that “I’d kill you before I let you leave me” bullshit. He wasn’t thinking about all that when he repeatedly cheated on me. I don’t understand how a nigga could dish out this and that, but couldn’t take it in return. I mean, if you didn’t want ya girl cheating on you, then why you cheating on her? Shit just didn’t make no damn sense. Kay needed his ass whooped, for real. I had been putting up with his cheating ways for too damn long.
Here I was, twenty-six years old, a mother of three, and I had to put up with his shit. He’s too damn grown for all that. I don’t have time to be trying to raise a grown-ass man. If his mama ain’t did it, then I wasn’t gon’ do it either. I don’t have time for all this. I have my club, salons, and rental properties to see about. Most of all, I have Kailay, Kayson, and Kaylon. I have zero time for bullshit. Not to mention, I’ve been confronted by my past.
Tyreek had been trying to get me to leave Kaylin for him, but I wasn’t trying to go there. He was good people and all, but what we did was on some revenge-type shit. I only fucked him because Kay was fucking my friend Stacy. I fucked his friend to get even. There was no love between Tyreek and me. I didn’t have any type of feeling for him in that way. He wasn’t trying to hear all that, though. He has been threatening to tell Kay all about us and our secret. I tried paying his ass, but that only lasted for so long, and now I just didn’t know what to do anymore.
I rode through the city with no destination in mind until I finally decided to get a room. Pulling up into the Ritz Carlton, I handed the valet my keys and proceeded inside to book me a room. After I booked my room, I called to check on my children, and then I headed upstairs. I was barely in the door before my phone started to ring. I glanced at it and noticed it was Kaylin, so I sent him to the voice mail and added him to my block list. I wasn’t in the mood for his bullshit.
After the day I had, I needed a drink, so I went over to the minibar and fixed one. I called Troy up. I knew she had to be mad, because I hadn’t called her back as yet. Shit, my mind was so far away from here.
“It’s about damn time. I was just about to call ya ass,” she replied with an attitude.
“Girl, I forgot to call you. My mind is all over the place right now, boo,” I replied while fixing me another drink.
“Don’t know why. You could have come here anyways. You know that you’re always welcome here. What, my place isn’t good enough for you?” she asked, pissing me off. She was becoming a little too clingy for me.
“Troy, chill with all that. I told you that I needed to be alone right now,” I replied, throwing back a shot of Patrón, and it didn’t even burn my chest. Shit, I need this type of therapy right now.
“Well, I understand all that, but I still wanted you here with me or me there with you,” she responded.
I rolled my eyes as if she could see me, because she was starting to work on my last damn nerves.
“Girl, I’m going to be all right. Besides, if Kaylin chooses to look for me, your place would’ve been the first place he’d look,” I slurred.
Those shots really had me feeling it. That’s why I didn’t like to drink, because I’d get drunk much too quickly.
“Bitch, you sound like you’ve been drinking. You know you can’t drink,” she said, laughing.
“Shit, I have. I need a whole damn bar to myself after the night I had,” I said, laughing at myself. I looked over to see that I drank almost a whole bottle within twenty minutes.
“All right, girl, I’ma let you go get your drunk ass some rest. It sounds like you might not make it to work later on,” she said.
“Girl, honestly, right now, work is the last thing on my mind. I’m thinking about taking the next couple of days off,” I said, then made my way to the bathroom.
“That’s cool. You know I’m going to hold the salon down. I’m going to send Candy to the other one. Just take all the time that you need,” she responded.
“All right, girl, I’m about to take me a shower and get me some rest. I’ll call you tomorrow. Thanks for having my back. Love you, Troy.”
“Always and forever, love you too,” she replied before hanging up the phone.
I sat there thinking about my life and how it got this far. In a way, I was no better than my mother. In fact, I was just like her. Let a nigga use the fuck out of me. Only difference is that I never allowed a nigga to beat on me. I remember when I was younger, my mother used to treat me all kinds of fucked-up ways. I had to steal to get whatever I wanted. I barely had clothes on my back or food to eat. Life in Louisiana was hard for me. That was until I met Kaylin.
Life before Becoming a Kept Bitch
You’d have thought that people would be happy that they were having a baby. Shit, some people go all out, having parties and shit. Some even start planning shit ahead of time. Not my parents, though. My parents were among those who didn’t give two fucks about having a child. In fact, they’d probably wished that I was never born.
My mother, Marie Washington, and my father, Julius Baker, had been together for five years, on and off. They were natives of New Orleans, Louisiana. They lived in the Lower Ninth Ward. If you let them tell it, they didn’t have a problem, but if I can recall correctly, we were living in an area where there were crackheads, prostitutes, pimps, drug dealers, and mass murderers. It was a big fucking problem! Not to mention that they were living off of the government. Please—that shit has “problem” written all over it. As if all of that wasn’t bad enough, she had a “sometime man.” What is a “sometime man” you ask? It’s a man that you’d only see about four–five times a week and mainly at night. If having a man like that wasn’t a problem, then she was too hard the fuck up. The man barely took her out, and if he did take her anywhere, it would be to a function that took place at night. He’d always claim that he was too busy or at work, but I didn’t know of a job in New Orleans that would keep you away all the fucking time and only paid minimum wage.
I don’t know how she put up with that shit. Me, personally, I wouldn’t have been able to deal. Any woman in her right mind would know that her man was cheating on her with another woman. Not my mother, though. She was naive and fucking country as hell. She was a simple-minded bitch who blamed me for making that nigga leave, but I ain’t did shit. If they didn’t want to have a baby, then they should’ve been using condoms, she should’ve been on birth control, or she shouldn’t have been fucking him at all.
My father wasn’t shit either. That nigga left when he knew he had a child on the way. He didn’t even have the decency to wait until I was born. Once my mother told him that she was pregnant, he told her to get an abortion. Once she stated that she wasn’t killing her child, he packed the little shit that he had at her house and bounced, leaving me to feel the wrath of a scorned hood bitch. If I ever find out where he is, I’d probably fuck him up. That nigga was the reason why I’d never got to experience real love. He’s the reason why I wasn’t too sure about myself, and why I allowed people to walk all over me. Since the day that the nigga walked out of our lives, it’s been a living hell for me.
My mother treated me like shit on the bottom of your shoes. I was forced to get everything that I needed on my own: clothes, shoes, bras, and pads. I had to make my own way, and I was only sixteen years old. Who in their right mind would hire me when I was sixteen and still in high school? On the mornings that I’d have to go to schoo
l, she’d wake me up extra early so that I could clean up whatever mess that her drunken ass would put down. Sometimes, I think her ass did that shit on purpose, so by the time that it would be time to go to school, I’d be dog tired. The only thing that I’d have time to do is wash my ass, brush my teeth, and comb my hair. I didn’t even have enough time to eat, and if I did, I’d have to walk them thirty minutes to get to school. Shit, half of the time, there wasn’t shit in the refrigerator to eat or drink, and I’d have to go to school hungry. That bitch was evil as fuck, and I was the only person who’d get to see it. She was nice to everybody else—except me. At times, I’d lock myself in my room, because she always called me out my name if I’d pass by her. Sometimes she’d be mean just because she could. I got used to that. At times, the shit didn’t even hurt me anymore. Whatever she said, I accepted and ran with it, because I knew she’d fuck me up for real if I didn’t obey her.
The bitch often went off for no fucking reason at all. That ho really needed to get her a life and stop fucking with mine. She needed to stop drinking, because that’s when she was at her worst. All she did was fuck with me, and I was just about tired of her shit.
“Amina, do you hear me?” my mother asked, loud as hell.
“Yes, I hear you,” I replied, still in a groggy state.
Truth be told, I didn’t hear a fucking word that she said. I was already tired, plus, I had school in the morning, and she had me up cleaning after her drunken ass once again.
“Well, what the hell are you standing there for? Get to cleaning up this fucking mess. It looks like a pigpen up in here,” she said, clutching a bottle of vodka in her hand.
“Yeah, because you’re the pig that did this,” I mumbled under my breath.
“What did you say?” she asked, walking close to me.
“Nothing, I asked for the broom,” I lied.
“It’s wherever you left the bitch yesterday,” she replied as she took a sip from her bottle of vodka.