by Ambria Davis
After giving me my instructions, she went to her room, where she’d finish her bottle and fell asleep. I’d feel much better if she stayed in there and never came out. I had a drunk for a mother. What type of woman do you know would drink her life away, and all because some nigga ain’t gave a fuck about her?
I looked around and shook my head. There were beer cans and empty bottles all over the living room. I just cleaned that shit up yesterday and here she went, making a mess all over again. I proceeded to the kitchen where I almost lost it. The kitchen sink was filled with dirty dishes. Shit, we didn’t have no fucking food in the refrigerator, so I wondered where the fuck all these dirty dishes came from. I couldn’t keep doing this, I thought to myself. I went into the cabinet to get a garbage bag, and when I opened it, I saw two huge fucking rats in there. They didn’t even look like rats. They looked like fucking armadillos. The shit wasn’t surprising, though, because with a house as filthy as this, you’re liable to see all kinds of insects and rodents in the bitch.
After getting the garbage bag from out of the cabinet, I proceeded to the living room. I walked around, picking up trash and dumping it into the bag. I even ran across a needle. Now, only the Lord knows that I wasn’t ready, but if my mother was doing anything besides drinking, then I was most definitely about to bounce. It was bad enough that I had to put up with a drunken bitch, but to put up with a bitch on drugs was a different story. I shook my head in disgust, placed it in the bag, and continued picking up the rest of the trash. When I was done picking up trash, I grabbed the broom and swept the floor. I took a bucket, filled it up with dishwashing liquid and hot water, and mopped the living-room floor. Even though the couch was torn up, I went into the hall closet and removed an all-white blanket. When I was done spraying air freshener, I placed the blanket on the sofa and fixed that shit up the best way that I knew how.
After I finished cleaning the living room, I moved to the kitchen. I knew that this shit wasn’t going to be a major task. I started with the trash, emptied soda cans, pizza boxes, takeout plates, and again, liquor bottles. I never saw a woman who drank as much as my mother did. My father really did a number on her sad ass. After I picked up all the trash, I tied the bag and removed all the dishes from out of the sink. I rinsed out the sink and proceeded to let some fresh hot water run. I then added some dishwashing liquid, bleach, and baking soda to the water. Don’t ask me why. I had seen my auntie do that shit one day while I was at her house. Ever since then, I’d wash dishes like that. It actually cleaned the dishes a whole lot better too. It took me forever to wash all them dishes. Shit, I had to throw away some because they were just too damn dirty. When I was finished with the dishes, I swept and mopped the floor.
That wasn’t all, though. After cleaning up all that, I also cleaned up the bathroom. When I was done, it was fifteen minutes to seven. I knew that I was going to miss the bus, so I wasn’t rushing. I’d just have to walk to school.
Leaving my room, I ran into this botched-looking nigga. I mean the nigga was ugly as fuck, plus, he was fat. This bitch really done lost her fucking mind and shit. She got this ratchet-ass nigga sleeping here. He must be some nigga she met at a bar, or the nigga she was with when doing her new hobby. I was about to walk off, but he got in my way.
“Umm, excuse you,” I said, as I tried to move past him, but he wouldn’t move.
“Hey, pretty lady, what’s your name?” he asked.
“None of ya business. Now move.”
“I know you have a name, and I ain’t moving until you tell me,” he said, walking closer to me.
“I told you my name already. It’s none of ya business,” I replied as I tried to push past him. He grabbed me and pinned my body against the wall.
“I see you like to be smart, but let me see how smart you are after this,” he said, as he started kissing my neck. I tried to wiggle my way from his grasp, but I couldn’t.
I started to scream so that I could get my mother’s attention. Knowing her, her drunken ass was probably knocked out and couldn’t hear shit.
“Please stop,” I begged.
“Nah. Fuck all that.” He took his hand and stuck it in my shorts. He was about to get a rude awakening because my pussy was sweaty as fuck. Taking his finger, he stuck one inside of me. To say I was disgusted would be an understatement. I wanted to fuck this nigga up.
Taking my right leg, I kicked him as hard as I could. He ended up letting me go, so I ran to the bathroom and yelled.
“You ugly, fat fucker. I hope ya perverted ass enjoyed that, because the next time you pull some shit like that, I will fuck you up. Oh, and by the way, smell ya hand with ya ugly ass.”
I hurriedly closed the door and leaned against it. I didn’t move until I heard the front door open and shut, and I peeked out the window to make sure that his chubby ass was gone. After making sure that “Gorilla Zoe” was gone, I turned the water on to take a quick bath. It was already 7:20 a.m. and school started at 8:00 a.m. If I didn’t get it pushing, I was going to be late.
After taking a bath, I quickly threw on my clothes, brushed my teeth, and threw my hair into a ponytail. When I was done with all that, I headed to my room where I threw on my slippers; then I grabbed my book bag, and I was headed out. Before I had a chance to make it all the way outside, this bitch called me.
“Amina,” she said, sounding drunk as hell.
“What?” I yelled. I did that shit because I knew that bitch had to be hungover.
“Shhh. Bitch, what the fuck is you hollering for?” she replied, covering her ears.
“You called me, I was just trying to see what you wanted,” I responded.
“I wanted to make sure that everything is all cleaned up. I also wanted to remind you to have your fast ass in the house before seven, or else you’re going to sleep outside with the people who are on the fucking streets. Oh, and make sure you get something to eat, because we don’t have a damn thing in here to eat,” she responded, as she reached her hand in her pants to scratch her ass.
I swear the woman was beyond trifling. All she wanted to do was drink, be filthy, and put shit all over the place. She barely took a bath, so that explained why she was itchy all the fucking time. She was just nasty as fuck. She fucked herself up when she gave a fuck about a nigga leaving her. Before she could say anything else, I left. I ain’t have time for her bullshit. It was bad enough that I had to walk to school, thanks to her drunken trifling ass.
* * *
Outside was already hot as hell. One thing about Louisiana’s weather was that when it was hot, it was hot as fuck. By the time that I got to school, I would probably be all stinky and sweaty. Lord knows I ain’t got time for that. I had enough of these bitches fucking with me already. I secured my backpack on my back and began my journey.
Halfway there, a pimped out Caprice pulled up beside me. I didn’t know who the car belonged to, so I kept on walking. Seeing that I wasn’t stopping, the driver decided to roll the window down.
“Say, shorty,” he said, but I ignored his ass and kept on walking.
I didn’t have time for these busted-ass niggas. I was trying to get to school where I knew I could better myself and get the fuck out of Louisiana. Period.
“Ma, I know you hear me talking to you,” he said, as he rode beside me.
I stopped and turned toward his car. I couldn’t front. Dude was cute as fuck, but he was light-skinned. I was always into dark-skinned dudes, but I guess he’d do.
“Who you talking to—me?” I asked, looking around. I walked over to the car and peeked my head through the window. He ain’t know it, but I was trying to see what he was about.
“You the only one out there, huh?” he shot back at me.
“Well, I have a name, and I know damn well that it ain’t shorty,” I said, as I got closer to his car.
He had a baby face, a light complexion, braids, and some cute little dimples. His whole image screamed, “He’s a drug dealer.”
“Well, if I kn
ew ya name, then I’d be able to call you by it,” he said.
“Well, my name is Amina Washington,” I replied, with my hands on my hips.
“Amina, I like that. But I think I’m going to call you Mimi,” he said.
“And what’s your game? I meant name?” I asked him.
“My name is Kaylin Williams,” he said, licking his lips.
“Kaylin, hmm. I guess I’m going to call you Kay,” I replied.
“Well, Ms. Mimi, where are you headed?”
“Well, Kay, I was on my way to school.”
“School—you still in school?”
“Yes, I’m a junior in school.”
“Well, you sure don’t long look like you’re in high school. How old are you?”
“I’m sixteen, but I’ll be seventeen in April,” I said, smiling. “Look, I’d love to chat with you and all, but I have to get to school. I only have minutes until the bell rings.”
“Let me give you a ride then,” he said, as he reached over to open the door from the inside.
“Okay, thanks,” I replied as I got into his car. He waited until I was in the car completely with the door closed, and then he pulled off.
“So, Mimi, what school do you go to?”
“I go to G. W. Carver High. Why?”
“Humph, I just asked, li’l mama. Besides, I’m giving you a ride, ya know,” he said, smiling. I couldn’t help but laugh also.
“Oh, yeah, well, what’s up with you? What do you do? How old are you?” I asked.
“Well, I’m twenty-one. I’ll be twenty-two in May, and I’m in college. I’m trying to get a degree in business,” he replied as he pulled into the school’s parking lot. Once we made it to the front entrance, I saw my girls Troy and Stacy waiting on me.
“Well, that’s good. I wish you luck with all of that,” I responded, as I opened the door to get out.
“Hold up, shorty. I don’t get no good-bye, hug, or nothing?” he asked, sounding corny as hell.
I reached over to give him a hug, and he kissed me on my cheek. If I wasn’t so black, you’d probably seen me blushing down.
“Say, here, take my number and call me when you get out of school later,” he said, handing me a piece of paper with his number on it.
“All right,” I said, taking the paper out of his hand.
I grabbed my backpack and got out. I waved good-bye and went to meet my friends. I knew when I got over there, they’d have a million and one questions to ask me, but right now, I was trying to head to a late breakfast, because I was starving.
Mimi
My friends had been getting on my nerves since the morning, and it was only fourth period. I hadn’t told them a damn thing about Kaylin, and I didn’t plan on it. You see, while they might be my friends, I never told them all my business. I’d always seen shit where a girl would tell her friend about her man, then the next thing you know, the friend was fucking him. No, no, no, I couldn’t deal with no shit like that. The only one I’d really tell my business to was Troy. Troy was not like everybody else. She wasn’t mean, and she didn’t have to fake it to make it. I could tell Troy anything and not one time did she judge me. She was my true friend. Whenever I didn’t have anything to eat or clean clothes to go on my back, I could always go to her. That was my bitch there.
I sat in Mr. Walker’s math class bugging. I wasn’t paying attention to what he was teaching or to my friends, for that matter. The only thing on my mind right now was Kaylin. Dude was so fucking cute and fine, that the shit should’ve been a crime. Every time I thought about him, I got this weird feeling in my stomach. I held on closely to his number. I was hoping that I’d get a chance to see him again. But a person like that would never want a chick like me, I thought.
I made up my mind right then and there that I was going to throw his number away. I’d be out of my mind to think that he actually wanted me, I thought to myself. I put all thoughts and hopes of possibly being with Kay out of my mind. I then grabbed my backpack and took down notes for the remainder of the class.
At 2:30, the bell rang, indicating that class was over. I grabbed my book bag and went to my locker. Since it was Friday and we didn’t have any homework, I’d be leaving all my things in my locker for the weekend. Before I had time to even open my locker, here came my friends with they nosy asses.
“So, Amina, are you going to tell us or not?” I heard Stacy ask, but like before, I ignored her ass, and I continued to do what I was doing. I looked at my friends and rolled my eyes. They were so fucking nosy, but if the shoe was on the other foot, they’d do me the same damn way.
“Well, excuse me. You don’t have to act all stuck up,” Troy said, once she noticed that I wasn’t playing.
“I’m not acting stuck up. I just don’t have nothing to tell,” I said, closing my locker. I turned around and leaned against it. Folding my arms across my chest, I stared at them.
“Well, okay,” Troy replied.
“Come on, let’s go,” I said to them.
“What are we getting into tonight?” Troy asked as we walked down the hallway.
“Girl, y’all know I can’t go nowhere or else I’ll be outside, sleeping with them crackheads,” I answered.
“You could always sleep at my house,” she said, getting a li’l too excited.
I looked at her like she was crazy. She and I both knew that she didn’t like staying at her own house. So why in the hell she thought I would want to be there?
“Nah, I’ll pass,” I responded, as we exited the school building.
“I’m going by Mimi’s. Stacy, are you coming?”
“Nah, I’ll pass,” she replied, and walked off to catch her bus.
I looked at Troy, then Troy looked at me for an answer, and I hunched my shoulders indicating that I didn’t have one. I had no idea what was going on, but Stacy’s been acting funny lately. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but homegirl had been throwing major shade. I didn’t have time for Stacy. Truth be told, I didn’t know how we became friends in the first place. She was always one to think that she was better than everybody else. Even though we all came from the projects, she always felt like she was more than what she really was. I hated to be around a person like that, because if you were any better than us, you wouldn’t be living in the PJs and going to public school. I left that for her to deal with, but the minute she got out of pocket with it, I was going to put her in her place.
“Girl, why the hell is your friend bugging, though?” I asked once we were seated on the bus.
“Who knows? I don’t have the slightest clue. Are you going to tell me about ole boy, or do I have to find out on my own?”
“I was going to tell you, girl, you know how I do it. I don’t tell my business to anybody but you,” I said, as I looked out the window.
“So, are you?” she asked, squirming in her seat. Shit, she was happy, like she was the one who met him and not me.
“Well, his name is Kaylin. He’s twenty-one, and he’s in college. He says he going to get his degree in business, but he never told me how he got them fresh clothes and shoes that he had on. Nor did he tell me how he’s twenty-one with his own whip. He never mentioned anything about a job, so I could only think of one thing,” I said, looking at her and smiling.
“D-boy,” we both screamed at the same time.
We’ve always talked about wanting a D-boy, who could supply our every need, but we’ve never actually started the task of getting him.
“Girl, we don’t know that for sure, and besides, I threw his number away in the garbage can at school,” I said to her.
“Bitch, is you crazy? Why the hell would you do that?” she asked me.
“Because, what would a nigga like him want with a chick like me? I’m from the projects. I don’t have a pot to piss in or a window to throw that bitch out of. My mother treats me like shit, and my father left me. Shit, I got to steal just so that I could have something to eat and clothes on my back. I don’t have a damn thing to
offer him,” I replied, as I looked straight-ahead.
Truth is, I wasn’t too sure about myself. I was never close with a man; I never knew what it felt like to be wanted or loved. I lived in the fucking projects with rats and roaches. I sometimes have to wear my clothes two or three times a week. I have absolutely nothing, and my mother made sure of it.
“But it’s not like that. He doesn’t know you or where you come from. He doesn’t know that you barely have food to eat or clothes on your back. He doesn’t know that your mother treats you like shit, or that you stay in the projects. Maybe he just likes you. To be honest, Mimi, you are a beautiful girl. Any man or boy in his right mind would want you. Stop selling yourself short just because of the things that your mother does to you. You don’t know what he wants. He gave you his number, so I think that you should call him,” Troy replied, sounding like an old lady.
You see, that’s why I loved that girl. She always knew what to say, when to say it, and how to say it.
“I know, right? But I just don’t want anyone looking down on me for something that I don’t have or the way that I live,” I said to her.
“Like I said before, you don’t know what he wants or don’t want. You can’t knock it until you try it. Take it slow, get to know him,” she replied.
“Too late, I already threw his number away in the trash,” I responded to her.
“Well, if it was meant to be, then y’all find each other again,” she said as the bus stopped at our spot.
We got off the bus and started walking. The street was kind of busy since it was a Friday, so it took us a little longer than it normally took.
As we walked down the street, we witnessed shit that we shouldn’t have. On one corner, there were crackheads and D-boys, and on another corner, there were hoes and pimps. Say what you want to, but I’d hate to see the streets in the next two weeks for Mardi Gras. They probably have all kind of shit happening on the blocks, including murder. That’s why I’d be happy when I graduate high school and left this piece of dump.