by Ambria Davis
“Yeah, bitch, I got you now,” he said, as he started slapping me. “That’s for kicking me in my face.”
“No, please, stop,” I said, trying my best to fight him off, but the more I fought him, the weaker I got.
“You tried to play me the other day, huh? I waited for this moment. I even waited until you took a bath this time,” he said, as his hand traveled in between my legs. I crossed my legs at my ankles and squeezed them closed, with hopes that he would just let me go.
“Please, just let me go,” I begged, but my pleas fell on deaf ears.
“Nah, ma, I’ve been waiting for this. I’m getting me some pussy tonight. Now, shut the fuck up,” he said, as he tried to pry my legs open, but they weren’t budging.
“Bitch, you can try all you want, but you going to open your legs whether you like it or not.”
He threw me on top of the bed. He then punched me in my stomach, making me open my legs. He then took one of his fingers and inserted it into my vagina.
“That’s what I’m talking about. You must be still a virgin,” he replied. He then took a glob of spit and rubbed it over my vagina.
Watching him do that shit made me sick to my stomach.
“Please, stop. If you stop, I promise that I won’t tell anyone. This will be our little secret,” I said, trying to reason with him.
“Bitch, didn’t I just say for you to shut the fuck up?” He kept slapping me in the face.
He must’ve slapped me about six times. By the time that the last lick went across my face, I was ready to give up.
“Yeah, that’s right. Stop fighting me. You already know you want,” he said, as he took his shriveled-up dick out.
Positioning his head at the entrance of my vagina, he tried to enter me. As he was pumping, tears were rolling down my face. Not only because it hurt me physically, but mentally and emotionally also.
His big ass started grunting, moaning, and I swear his breath smelled like dry shit. I started gagging and shaking as he was humping and pumping. I closed my eyes and started counting down from one hundred, imagining that I was somewhere else. By the time I made it to seventy-five, he was finishing up and it wasn’t long before I felt his seeds flowing through me.
“If you tell anyone what happened here, I’ll kill you,” he said, as he put his dick inside his pants. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move. When I looked toward the door, I saw my mother standing there. I started crying again as I thought about her watching him raping me and not doing anything. I turned to see if she was still there, but she wasn’t. I never knew someone could hate their own child like my mother hated me. No man could be the cause of all that hatred, and if it was then, that was a damn shame.
“You heard what I said, huh? If you tell anyone about what happened tonight, I will kill you and your mother,” he said, as he headed for the door.
I sat there wishing that he would’ve killed me, because nothing was worse than what he did to me. He took my most prized possession without my permission, and there was no way for me to get that back.
I lay there waiting as he left. Soon as he was gone, I grabbed my nightgown and ran to the bathroom. Once I was in the bathroom, I ran mostly hot water in the tub. When I was satisfied with the temperature, I got in, balling up into a fetal position. I sat there wondering what my life would’ve been like if I had a parent that actually cared about me. The kind of parent who’d let me make my own mistakes, but will be there along the way, whenever I needed them, night or day. Parents who’d look at you for no specific reason, and say I love you. Instead, I got stuck with a set of fucked-up parents.
I wanted to be able to feel something, anything—but there wasn’t nothing left to feel. They’ve taken away all that I had already. I didn’t have an ounce of fight left in me.
After sitting in all that hot-ass water, I got out and dried off. Placing my nightgown over my head, I headed to my room. When I got in my room, I became nauseated. There were clothes all over the place. It smelled like pussy in this bitch, and the sheets had blood on them. Jesus, if you’re really up there, then take the wheel, I said to myself.
I went ahead and started picking everything up. When I got to the sheets, I rolled them up and threw them in the trash. I didn’t need a reminder of that. After picking up everything in my room, I went into the hall closet and grabbed a fresh sheet. When I was done placing the sheet on the bed, I grabbed my phone and told both Troy and Kaylin that I was sick, and I wasn’t able to do their hair. They tried to put up a fuss and come to check on me, but I insisted that I was fine and said that I’d call them later. I powered my phone off, took two Tylenols, balled up into a fetal position, and cried myself to sleep.
Troy
I didn’t know what was going on, but Mimi had been blocking me. I tried to see her when she first said that she wasn’t feeling good, but she told me that she was okay and that she’ll call me tomorrow. Well, tomorrow done turned into two whole damn weeks, and I hadn’t heard or seen my best friend. She wasn’t even coming to school, which threw me for a loop. Mimi never missed school. Even when she was tired from one of her mother’s spats, she still came to school. I know that shit had to be serious.
I was tired of Stacy’s salt-throwing ass. I never seen someone who was such a fucking hater. Whenever I said something about Mimi and Kaylin or mentioned the date that we had, she would roll her eyes or suck her teeth. I paid her ass no mind at all. She’s mad because Mimi found herself a man and she didn’t. Oh, well, she better get used to the shit, because Mimi really liked Kay. Besides, I missed my friend, and I wanted to see her, which was why I’d caught the school bus to her house. Since we had exams this week, I thought I’d share my notes with her and we could study together.
I was almost to Mimi’s apartment building when someone called out to me.
“Yo, Troy, come here right quick, ma.”
I turned around and saw Kaylin jogging toward me. That’s why Mimi’s ass was probably ducking me, because she was spending time with Kaylin. Shit, I wish she would’ve told me that though, I thought to myself.
“So you’re the reason that Mimi’s been dodging me, nigga?” I said, rolling my eyes at him.
“Nah, ma, I thought that was all you. I ain’t talked to shorty in a week or so. She told me that she was sick and shit. I came here today to check on her,” he replied, looking at me.
“For real, Kay, you haven’t been here with Mimi? Because I haven’t talked to or seen her in two weeks either,” I said, getting worried.
“Like I said, ma, I haven’t talked to Mimi in a week. I was getting worried, and I thought that she found her someone new, so I came to check on her today and shit,” he replied, moving his arms.
That was all I needed to hear. I strolled across the playground at full speed, trying to get to the apartment where Mimi and her mother stayed. As I was walking, I said a silent prayer, hoping that my friend was all right. For someone’s sake, they better hope she was.
Once I made it to the door, I started knocking like I was the police. I was knocking so loud that I made the neighbors open their doors. Shit, I didn’t give a fuck, nor was I going to stop. Something was wrong with my best friend, and I wasn’t leaving until I found out. I stood there banging for about five whole minutes until this big, black, ugly-ass, gorilla-looking nigga came to open the door with no shirt on. If he knew better, he’d do better and put his titties up somewhere.
“Little bitch, what is your fucking problem, and why the fuck you knocking like the police and shit?” he said, angrily.
“Look, I don’t know who the fuck you is, but I didn’t come here to see you. I came here to see Mimi, and I ain’t leaving until I see her,” I replied, matching his tone.
I don’t know who this gorilla-looking nigga thought he was, but clearly, his ugly ass had the wrong one today.
“Look, bitch, Mimi ain’t here, now, I suggest you take your little friend right here and get the fuck out,” he said, pointing to Kaylin.
By that time, I guess Kaylin was tired of his shit too, because the next thing I knew, he had his gun pointed in that nigga’s face.
“Look, man, we didn’t come here for any trouble. All we came over here for was to see Mimi, but you over here trying to make shit hard. Now, this gon’ be our last time asking you, where the fuck Amina’s at?” he said, getting all in that nigga’s face.
It was like that nigga blacked out and went into another world. Shit, he had me scared for a minute.
“She’s in her room,” his big ass replied as if he was all out of breath.
Pushing past him, I hurriedly ran into the house. When I got in Mimi’s room, I almost lost it. She was lying there with no clothes on. I quickly ran over to check on her.
“Mimi,” I yelled, shaking her, but she wasn’t responding to me.
“Mimi, please get up, baby.”
I guess Kaylin heard me hollering and decided to come see what was going on. Just like before, when he first entered the room, he lost it.
“What the fuck happened?” he asked me.
“I don’t know. She was like this when I got in here,” I replied to him.
“I swear if he put his hands on my girl, I’m going to kill him,” he said, removing his gun from his waist.
He then started kicking shit and screaming all kinds of threats. Right now really wasn’t the time, so I had to stop him.
“Kay, come on. We have to get her to the hospital,” I said to him.
Wherever he was, he wasn’t too far gone, because once I said that, he was back to himself. Running to my aid, he helped me throw some clothes on her and carried her out. When we got outside, there were people all over, but we didn’t pay them any mind. I rushed to Kaylin’s car and got in the backseat with Mimi, while he jumped in the front. When we were secured safely in the car, he sped off. We decided to take her to Tulane Medical Center since it was closer.
Pulling up to the hospital, we almost ran over a couple that was standing by the emergency entrance. Kaylin got out and ran to get a doctor, while I stayed with Mimi.
“Mimi, if you can hear me, hold on. I promise that it will be all right. All you have to do is hold on,” I said, stroking her hair. Just as I looked up, someone was opening the door.
“Thank you, ma’am, we have it from here,” a doctor said to me.
Moving to the side, I watched as they placed her on a gurney, and then ran through the door, down a hallway, and into a room. I watched, knowing that I wasn’t able to go in the room with her. I went to go sit in the waiting room. When I got to the waiting room, I looked around for Kaylin, but he wasn’t anywhere in sight.
I took a seat in the corner and watched as people came in and out of the waiting room. I sat there hoping that Kaylin would show up, but he didn’t. Two hours went by, and there was still no word on Mimi or Kaylin. I was totally exhausted, so I ended up falling asleep.
Mimi
When I came to, I was in the hospital. I thought for sure that I’d be in a much better place, but I wasn’t. I was somehow still on this fucked-up earth. Looking around, I didn’t see anyone in the room with me, so I pushed the button to call the nurse. While I was waiting for the nurse, I thought about the events that had happened.
After I was raped and beaten, I decided to take a couple of days off from school, since I wasn’t feeling too good. It had been three days since I first was raped, and I thought the nigga was going to leave me alone, boy, was I wrong. On the fourth day of my “vacation from school,” he came in my room while I was asleep. I tried to pretend like I was asleep, but it didn’t matter if I was asleep or not—he still ended up raping me, all while my dumb-ass mother would be in the other room letting it go down. I was tired of being mentally and physically abused, so I tried ending it all, and that’s how I ended up being in here today. I was about to hit the button to call the nurse again, but she ended up coming.
“Well, hello, there, Ms. Washington. It’s nice to have you back,” she said, smiling.
“How did I get here?” I asked her.
“I’ll get the doctor, and he’ll be able to tell you all that,” she replied.
“Is there anyone here waiting to see me?” I asked, wondering if Troy or Kaylin were here.
“I don’t know, but I’ll check for you. Just let me get your vitals,” she replied. After she did what she had to do, she left. A couple of minutes later, Troy came walking through the door. We both broke down crying instantly.
“Mimi, tell me what’s going on, please,” she said.
“I promise that I’ll tell you, but not right now,” I replied sadly.
I wanted to tell her so bad, but I didn’t know how to tell her. I couldn’t find the right words to tell my best friend that I was being raped repeatedly by some nigga and my mother just sat there and let it happen.
“Mimi, don’t you ever scare me like that again,” she said, hugging me.
“I’m sorry, I couldn’t take it anymore,” I replied, wiping my face.
“Whatever it is, it’s going to be all right. I promise,” she said, hugging me tightly. We stayed like that for about twenty minutes until the doctor interrupted us.
“Hello, Ms. Washington. I’m Doctor Davis. I’m the doctor who’s been working on you since you came in here.”
“Okay.”
“I have a couple of questions that I would like to ask you,” he said. He then looked from me to Troy.
“Privately.”
I knew what he wanted to ask me and truth be told, I didn’t want Troy to be there either. But she was my best friend. She was going to find out one way or another. So I decided to let her stay and hear it from both of us.
“It’s okay, Doctor Davis. You can say whatever you have to say or ask whatever questions that you have to ask in front of her. She’s my family,” I replied, squeezing Troy’s hand.
“Well, ma’am, were you aware that you are pregnant?” he asked, looking at me. I went to answer him, but my voice got stuck in my throat. I wasn’t even having sex voluntarily, and yet, I was pregnant.
“No, sir,” I finally managed to say, as tears rolled down my face.
“Well, it seemed that you were, but you had a miscarriage a few days ago. Now we’re going to have to run some more tests, just to be sure that everything is fine,” he said, looking over the rim of his glasses.
“Now, another thing, while I was doing a physical exam on you, I noticed that there were severe injuries, cuts, and bruises across your body as a result of violent restraint, together with injuries to the genital region. I know these types of symptoms, so I have to ask . . . Were you raped?”
At the mention of the word rape, I cried harder. I knew for a fact that I was raped—hell, even the doctor knew, but I still didn’t want to tell anyone. So I told him a lie.
“No, I wasn’t raped,” I replied.
“Are you sure?” he asked, looking from me to Troy.
“I’m positive,” I responded.
I didn’t know why I was protecting someone who raped me, but I was. I guess it was because he’d threatened to kill me, and I was scared.
“Well, okay. I’m going to send the nurse in so that she can draw some more blood, and then I can get these tests done. Hopefully, you’ll be out of here day after tomorrow,” he replied.
“If you need anything, hit that call button, and the nurse will come. Take care of yourself and have a good day.”
Like he said, the nurse came in and drew blood from my arm. She then checked my vital signs again and asked if I needed anything. Once I told her that I didn’t, she left.
“Mimi, can you please tell me what the fuck is going on? That man said that you were raped,” Troy said, as she took a seat on the bed next to me.
I looked at her, then at the door. I was trying to make sure that no one was there.
“Remember the day that I was supposed to do you and Kaylin’s hair?” I asked her.
She nodded her head.
“Well, I was feeling tir
ed, and I decided to take me a bath, so I wouldn’t fall asleep. When I got in the bathroom, it was dirty, so I cleaned it up. When I was done cleaning, I ran my bathwater, threw on my favorite CD, and got in. While I was in the tub, someone came knocking on the door. I ignored them the first time, but they kept on knocking. So I got up to see who it was. When I opened the door, no one was there, but when I went to close the door, someone came crashing into the bathroom, making me hurt my back. When I looked to see who it was, I got the shock of my life. It was the same black, ugly, gorilla-looking dude who was there with my mother.”
“You mean the man who was there earlier?” Troy asked me.
“Yeah.” That’s when I broke down crying.
“I tried to get away from him, I really did. He raped and beat me. I ended up taking a couple of days off from school, I was hurting both mentally and physically, and I didn’t want anyone to see me. I thought that he would’ve left me alone, but he didn’t. He ended up raping me on Wednesday and every day after that. You know what was so fucked up about the whole situation? My mother would watch him from the door as he was raping me. She didn’t even try stopping him. I can’t imagine having kids and let some nigga violate them like that, without me doing anything. I lay in the bed for hours, just crying myself to sleep, but today was different. Today, I wanted it all to end, so I took some pills and tried to kill myself, but I didn’t die. I ended up in here.”
It was hard to do, but I finally told her. I didn’t want to, but I had to. She was always there when I needed her. Hell, she was going through something similar. That’s why I didn’t want to tell her, because she already had her own burden to bear, but I knew that she would understand. I couldn’t keep something like that from her, and I didn’t want to hold all that in.
“Troy, you have to promise that you won’t tell Kaylin. I don’t want him to do anything stupid.”
“I promise I won’t tell him anything, but that don’t mean that I won’t handle that fat fucker on my own,” she replied, rocking back and forth.