by Ambria Davis
Walking to the building where I lived, I spotted Gorilla Zoe from earlier. I said absolutely nothing as I put my head down and picked up the pace.
“Bitch, why the hell is you walking fast like that?” Troy asked as she sped up, trying to stay close by me.
“Girl, I have to use the restroom bad,” I lied.
When I made it to the front door, I prayed that my mother wasn’t there and that the house was cleaned. Opening the door, I was beyond surprised to see that the house was indeed clean.
“Wow! I can’t believe this shit,” I mumbled to myself.
“What did you say?” Troy asked.
“Nothing, come on. Let’s go to my room,” I said to her.
I raised my index finger to my lips, letting her know to be quiet, as we quickly walked to my room. We sat down on the bed talking, but I couldn’t get Kaylin out of my mind. I wondered what it’d be like to be loved and wanted . . . to have someone who won’t treat me bad or bring me down. I fantasized about leaving this bitch and telling my bitch of a mother to go fuck herself. Only, if only that shit could be true, I thought to myself.
“What you over there daydreaming about?” she asked me.
“Life,” I simply replied.
“Believe it or not, things are going to be all right, Mimi. Just wait and see,” she responded.
All I did was shake my head. I really hoped so, because I didn’t know if I could continue living like that.
“Yo, let’s go to the corner store right quick,” I said to her.
“A’ight,” she said.
I could’ve sworn that I heard noise coming out of my mother’s room, but I ain’t pay no mind to it. I wasn’t trying to be bothered with her right now.
We quietly walked past her room and left. We met up with this dude name Lucky. Lucky was a cool dude. He just was on that shit bad. He’d wash the fuck out of your car, and he’d only charge you ten dollars to do it.
“Say, li’l Mimi, do you have a dollar?” he asked me.
“Nah, Lucky, I don’t have a dollar.”
“Here,” Troy said, handing him a dollar bill.
After dealing with Lucky’s old begging ass, we headed to the store. As we walked down the street, a black Escalade pulled up. I had no clue who the driver was, so I kept on walking. Seeing that we weren’t stopping, the truck followed us. I was kind of nervous, so I started picking up speed. I was about to take off running when the driver rolled down his window.
“Say, li’l mama, where you going at like that?” I heard a man say from the driver’s side.
When I looked back, I saw a dark-skinned dude with dreads in his head. Homeboy was a cutie too. I walked closer to the truck, and that’s when I noticed Kaylin sitting on the passenger’s side.
“’Sup, Mimi?”
“Hey, Kay,” I replied, nodding my head.
He jumped out of the truck and walked toward me. “Where you going?” he asked, once he was close to me.
“I’m about to run to the store real quick,” I said to him.
“Word? I thought I told you to call me once you got off from school,” he said, getting all in my face.
“I forgot,” I said blushing.
“I bet you did, huh? Come on, let’s go in the store.”
“Come on, Troy,” I called out to my best friend.
I followed behind him like a lost puppy. I couldn’t believe that dude wanted me. Walking into the store, I grabbed two bags of chips, a sandwich, some candies, and two cold drinks, all of which I was going to need to get me through this weekend, because I knew for a fact that my mother wasn’t worrying about if I ate or not.
After I got everything that I needed, I went to look for Troy. When I found her, she was talking to some dude, so I waved to let her know that I was ready to check out. I looked around for Kaylin, and I saw him talking to some chick at the counter. I walked past him to the register. He wasn’t my man, and I most definitely wasn’t looking for trouble.
I waited for Troy to come so that we could pay for our things. When we were finished, I grabbed my bag, politely passed right by Kaylin, and left the store. I wasn’t about to let no nigga play me. Ain’t no way I was going through that shit there.
We left the store and made our way back to my house.
“So what, bitch? You just going to leave him like that?” Troy asked.
“Girl, yes. You seen that shit. I’m not a fucking groupie. I don’t have time to be beefing over a nigga who ain’t for me,” I replied to her.
I gave her the side eye, because she was starting to sound very thirsty to me.
“Well, I told you to give him some time. Shit, let him warm up to you,” she replied.
I stopped in my tracks and looked her in the eyes so that she could hear me. “Troy, do you hear me, because apparently you didn’t? Didn’t you see him in the store talking to some other bitch while I was in there? You want me to play myself behind a nigga like that—baby, please, it’s not that damn serious.”
“Well, okay, damn, Mimi! Don’t chew my head off,” she said.
I said nothing as I started walking. Shit, I really wanted him, but I wasn’t trying to be let down by anyone again.
“Just come on, girl,” I said, grabbing her arm.
We were about to enter my building until someone called out to us.
“Say, Mimi,” I heard a voice say behind me. I started not to turn around, because I knew exactly who that voice belonged to. I turned around to find Kaylin trailing behind me.
“Where you going at, ma?” he asked, once he reached me.
“I’m going inside to my house. Why?” I replied, looking at him from head to toe.
“Why you left the store without saying good-bye?” he asked.
“The same reason why you were talking to some chick, and I didn’t interrupt you. It was none of your business,” I shot back at him.
He looked at me and started smiling, showing off his dimples.
“Aww, are you jealous?” he asked.
“Jealous? Why would I be jealous? You ain’t my man,” I responded.
“No, but I want to be.” Damn, he just threw it out there.
Hmm. “Is that so?” I asked.
“Yes, why else would I chase you down after you left me in a corner store?” he replied.
“I don’t know.”
“Well, can I?” he asked, staring at me.
He had me feeling all nervous and shit. I wanted to back into a corner somewhere.
“Can you wh—wh—what?” I replied, stuttering.
“Can I be your man?” he asked.
Oh, shit, this dude is for real, I thought to myself. Never in a million years did I think something like this would happen to me. I was always the one to think that the world would pass me by, and I’d never be able to experience love. I barely could get it from my mother, so why would someone else waste their time loving me?
“Can we take it one step at a time? I’m kind of new to this,” I said to him. I really did like him and all, but I wasn’t in no rush.
“Cool, that’s fine,” he replied. “How about I take you to the movies then? We could make this a double date, I’ll bring my boy, and you bring your girl right there.”
I stood there thinking about it, wondering if it would be a good idea to even put up with him. I didn’t know this dude from a can of paint. I never even asked him if he had a girlfriend. For all I knew, he could be a serial killer and whatnot. Who was I kidding? I was only making up excuses so I wouldn’t go. Maybe this was what I needed. Maybe it was time for me to really start living my life, instead of being my mother’s maid and stress reliever. Maybe this was a good idea after all. I guess I was taking too long, because Troy ended up nudging me in the back.
“Remember what I told you earlier, Mimi.” She slowly walked over to me and whispered in my ear.
I looked at Kaylin and tried to speak, but no words came out of my mouth. Damn, this nigga already had me speechless.
�
�Sure, I’d love to go to the movies,” I finally managed to get out.
“Cool, I’ll be back to pick you up at eight,” he replied.
He then walked up to me and hugged me, followed by a kiss on the cheek.
“What apartment do you live in?” he asked.
I quickly pointed to the apartment on the right.
“A’ight, see you at eight, pretty lady.”
I waited until he was gone to show my excitement. Both Troy and I were jumping and screaming. We had to go inside because we were drawing so much attention to ourselves. Once we made it inside, we ran to my room, not caring if my mother was home or not.
“Bitch, I can’t believe you’re going on a date,” Troy said, once we were seated on the bed.
“Girl, me either. I never been on a date before. Shit, I never been close to a boy before,” I replied, suddenly becoming nervous.
“Oh, Troy, I can’t go. I don’t have anything to put on. What if he doesn’t like my hair?”
“Girl, stop all that mess. I have a couple of outfits in my bag. And you know if I don’t do your hair, then you’re more than capable of doing it,” she said, sounding like she was the oldest of us.
I watched as Troy pulled out a bunch of clothes. I mean, I didn’t know if she thought we had more than the weekend off from school, because she brought clothes like she was spending one or two weeks here. We found the perfect outfits, and we decided to do each other’s hair. Once we were finished with all of that, we headed to the bathroom, where we both took turns taking a bath, while the other one waited.
We were putting the finishing touches on our outfits when someone started knocking on the door. I thought that it was Kaylin, so I went to answer it. I opened the door . . . and tried to lock it quickly. Standing there looking like King Kong himself was Gorilla Zoe’s ugly ass, and then he had the nerve to have a smile on his face.
“Well, hey, there, pretty lady. You miss me?” he said walking through the door.
“Look, black and ugly, I don’t know you nor will I ever miss you,” I said, turning around. I started walking away, but he stopped me.
“Look, bitch, we could do this the easy way or the hard way. Either way, I’m going to get me some of this,” he replied as he tried to put his hand under my dress.
“Mimi, who’s at the do—” she started to say but stopped at the sight of this nigga’s hand traveling up my dress.
“What the fuck is going on here?” she asked, walking toward us.
“Nothing! Mind your business, little girl,” I heard the Gorilla say.
I didn’t say anything as I hung my head low, so she wouldn’t be able to see the tears that were falling down my cheek.
“That is my business, and I tell you what, if I catch you putting your hands on her one more fucking time, I’ll kill ya,” she spoke through gritted teeth.
“Come on, Mimi, let’s go.”
She took my hand as we walked back to my room. I wanted so badly to call the date off with Kaylin because I was no longer in the mood, but I didn’t. I wasn’t about to let no one spoil my night.
“Are you okay, Mimi? Do you want to call this date off?” she asked.
I picked my head up and wiped the tears from my face. I was tired of people thinking that they could get over on me, and I was tired of me letting them.
“No, I’m okay,” I replied, as I cleaned up my face.
“Are you sure? Because we don’t have to go. We could just stay home and chill for the rest of the night,” she responded.
“I’m all right, Troy, come on, they’ll be here any minute now.”
I quickly refreshed my face and fixed my hair. Right when I was about to look out of the window, someone started knocking on the door. Since we were sure that it was Kaylin this time, we grabbed our purses, took one last look in the mirror, and headed out.
As I opened the door, my heart literally skipped a beat. Standing there looking good as ever . . . was Kaylin and the dude that I saw earlier. I wasn’t one to believe in love at first sight, but after tonight . . . that quickly changed.
“Dang, ma, you look better than you did before,” Kaylin said, as he pulled me in for a hug.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” I replied, smiling.
“Y’all ready?” he asked.
“Yes.”
I turned to shut the door, and I locked eyes with Gorilla Zoe’s ass. The way he looked at me sent chills up my spine. I hurried and closed the door. This creepy-ass nigga better stay away from me. If he laid one more finger on me, I’d kill him, I thought to myself.
* * *
Kay and his friend Chris took us out to eat after we left the movies. I was happy because he was the perfect gentleman. He opened the door when it needed to be. He paid for everything that I wanted. He took his time. He never tried to take advantage of me. That was cool in my book, because Troy was the only other person who actually treated me right.
Needless to say, after that night, I ended up making Kaylin my boyfriend. Whatever I needed, he made sure that I had it. I didn’t go a day without something, nor did I have to steal or con people out of it anymore. I finally found someone who was all for me, someone who wanted nothing from me but gave me everything that I needed and more. Shit, I wasn’t trying to complain. I’ve been through so much, that a little sunshine after the rain wouldn’t hurt a bit.
* * *
The weekend passed by superfast, and here it was, Monday again. I spent the whole weekend with Kaylin, and I had to say that I was catching strong feelings for him. I mean, who wouldn’t catch feelings after a man who gave them damn near everything that their heart desired? But it was not just the material things. He spent time with me, he was always there when I needed him, and he cared about me too. I had it so bad that I found myself constantly thinking about him, wanting to be near him. Shit, I was acting all sprung, and I haven’t had sex with him as yet.
My mother’s been giving me a pass lately also. She wasn’t waking me up like she would normally do, nor was she fucking with me. I’d say that this was the first time in a while that I didn’t go to school hungry or tired. I guess it was because I was still her damn slave and I kept the house cleaned. I also stocked the refrigerator up sometimes, but that was only when I knew that Kaylin and my friends were coming over. Other than that, I’d let her ass starve like she did me. She was lucky that I was a firm believer of “Never Throw Stone for Stone.”
I was lying in bed because I was completely tired. It was crunch time. I had a ton of homework, not to mention that I had math, English, and science exams to study for. Man, I was beat. I also have to braid Kaylin’s and Troy’s hair tomorrow, and roller set mine. I wanted so bad to reschedule, but they were my babies. I couldn’t tell them no. Instead, I decided to take a bath, hoping that it would wake me up. Dragging my body out of the bed, I grabbed my nightclothes and headed to the bathroom.
On my way there, I heard my mother and some man fussing. I did like I’d normally do, and went about my business. That was her problem, because if she liked it, then I loved it. I wasn’t trying to get in her business, knowing that whoever she was fussing with would be right back the next day. I didn’t understand how she could let men continue to treat her that way. Couldn’t be me, I thought to myself.
I proceeded to the bathroom where I was immediately disgusted. I knew when I left this morning that the bathroom was clean, but it looked like a fucking tornado ran through this mutherfucka. There were clothes, liquor bottles, and trash all over the fucking place. To make matters worse, when I pulled the shower curtain back, the tub was filthy, like someone threw a bucket full of mud and left it there. I don’t know how someone could live like this. I knew for a fact that the first chance I got, I was leaving this hellhole. She’d have to put up with this shit her damn self. She’s lucky that I really wanted to take a bath, or else I would’ve left that bitch just like that.
Putting my feelings to the side, I went to the hall closet and grabbed some b
leach, Comet, a garbage bag, and the broom and mop. I started picking up the trash first, and then I swept and mopped the floor. The floor had all kinds of shit on it. I even found another needle. It took me about half an hour, but I was finally about to get it done. I was even more tired than before when I finished. Finally, I ran me a nice hot bath, added bubble bath to it, and got in. I placed my Xscape CD in the radio, and then I got in.
Not even a good twenty minutes into my bath, someone came knocking at the door. If they had common sense, then they would’ve known that someone was in there. Better yet, the radio playing should’ve given they asses a huge hint. I ignored whoever it was and continued my bath. You’d think that they would leave, but they kept on knocking. I lowered the music down a little bit.
“Man, what?” I screamed, but no one said anything. I was about to turn the radio back up when they started knocking again. I’d be damned if they didn’t fucking know that I was in there.
“Who the hell is it?” I asked, in a pissed off tone, but like before, no one answered.
I got out, wrapped a towel around my wet body, and went to answer the door. When I opened the door, no one was there. I was about to peek my head out of the door when someone came rushing in. Whoever it was pushed the door so hard, that they made me hurt my back.
“What the fuck!” I said.
I looked up to see that it was the gorilla standing there.
“What the fuck do you want?”
“You know what I want. I told you that I was going to get me some one way or the other,” he replied, as he ripped the towel off of my body. I tried to crawl away, but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back.
“Where you going, li’l bitch? I don’t hear you talking all that shit now,” he said, as he got down on his knees.
I used my other foot and kicked him in his face. He ended up letting me go. That’s when I got up and ran to my room. I was about to close the door, but like before, his big ass ran in behind me.
“Oh, you’re going to pay for what you just did, bitch,” he said, as he started walking toward me. I backed up and tried to put as much distance between us as I could. Soon, there was no more room for me to back up as he came toward me. I quickly tried to run past him, but he caught me before I could go anywhere.