I’ll tell you no lies

by Norman Wills

  Well thanks for the consideration, dad, Oh yeah, that’s right you didn’t give a shit about me did you? You didn’t find out how I might feel about a move to Manchester did you! You only cared about yourself, you didn’t feel let down. Your life wasn’t ruined was it?

  Lucy’s parents thought things would settle down for her when she started high school, and with David working all hours God sends, or so it seemed, there was only really Marie who had the time or patience to see that underneath the façade Lucy was a different girl. Unfortunately Marie wasn’t the most perceptive woman in the world and if the truth was told she was having her own problems.

  Forty-eight years old, Marie hadn’t worked for fully eighteen years. She’d wanted to provide her kids with the best start in life and felt she could do this best by being a full-time mother. David thought she was being over indulgent with the kids but with his job, and the money it brought in, they could easily afford for Marie to be full-time mother and housewife.

  While John had still been in short trousers Marie had thought the best time to return to work would be when he reached high school. They had tried for a bigger family within a year of John being born but nothing happened. They’d resigned themselves to the fact that John was going to be an only child when seven years after he was born along came Lucy, unplanned but never the less a most welcome addition to the Kirkpatrick family household. Marie wasn’t going to give John her undivided attention and not do the same for Lucy, so Marie’s plans for a return to work were put on hold for at least another eleven years.

  Now Lucy was beginning high school and Marie could think again about returning to work. Eighteen years bringing up kids doesn’t fill you with confidence when it comes to throwing yourself back into the job market. Marie’s confidence was at an all time low, she didn’t even know what she was capable of doing, how she would cope, things had moved on in the eighteen years since she’d last worked. She felt useless, and she had little self-respect. She was a woman with a crisis going on in her head but not one she could discuss with her husband; he was too busy, he’d thrown himself into his new role with total commitment, he wasn’t going to fail. Marie felt like her life was on a collision course with failure.

  She didn’t need to work, the move meant David was earning more than enough for them to live comfortably, much more than they needed, but she also wanted to feel as though she could contribute something other than being housewife and mother. She wanted a life outside the house. The trouble was she felt useless, suffocated and very much alone. In her head she was a mess; she was a great looking woman but her head was definitely a mess.

  Lucy needed her mum. Her mum wasn’t there for her. Lucy had to toughen up quickly if she was going to survive.

  Lucy tried to toughen up but it wasn’t easy, she managed to ignore a lot of what was happening but she was becoming a bitter young girl. It was clear she needed help…

  Four

  Lucy met Sally-Anne when she was thirteen years old. To say met is not entirely the truth, and she wasn’t exactly introduced by a mutual friend. They didn’t shake hands or kiss cheeks or anything so formal.

  Sally-Anne introduced herself to Lucy when Lucy was in a spot of bother, repeatedly being punched and then kicked in the head by Gemma, one of her so-called new friends. Lucy didn’t know exactly why this was happening but later thought it was probably because she’d been seen talking to Dave, Gemma’s boyfriend. Dave was now cooling off with Gemma. At times like this Lucy could become detached, turn in on herself.

  Gemma knew that Lucy was much prettier than she was and that most of the boys, given half a chance, would drop their girlfriends just for a faint hope of a chance with Lucy. This wasn’t Lucy’s intention; she didn’t even like Dave, thought he was a bit of a spotty bore with bad breath and bad teeth. Dave had been the one pestering Lucy but Gemma would never see it that way.

  Sally-Anne, who had been waiting patiently deep in Lucy’s subconscious for exactly a moment like this came rushing into Lucy’s mind with a blinding flash, and at that moment Lucy’s fear of Gemma disappeared. She managed to stand up and punched Gemma once in the face so hard she was unconscious before she hit the floor. Unable to stop herself, she then squatted over Gemma’s face, lifted her skirt, and pulled her knickers to one side and started to empty her bladder directly onto Gemma’s face.

  Lucy picked up her bag and left Gemma there on the ground, slowly coming to, trying to remember what had just happened and wondering why she was wet and stinking of piss. Lucy couldn’t believe what she’d just done, but in reality Lucy had nothing to do with it, the deed was totally down to Sally-Anne, Lucy’s protector, alive in her head. Sally-Anne was no Superman to Lucy’s Clark Kent; she was more Mr. Hyde to Lucy’s Dr Jekyll.

  After she had fought off Gemma, and then some, Lucy felt calm. She realised that she no longer had to face up to what had been in the last two years, a tough existence for a 13 year old girl, seemingly always coming off second best in a two horse race. She felt a new inner strength and knew she now had the strength to get her through the hard times. It was as fundamental as suddenly finding God and knowing that something good existed in a world full of badness, just outside a school in wet and rainy Manchester.

  She ran all the way home. When she got there she said a quick hello to her mum then rushed to her room, locking the door behind her. She was physically shaking and breathing heavily she didn’t know what to think, she’d just pissed all over Gemma, her so-called friend, it must have been a dream. Surely she couldn’t do something like that. It wasn’t in her nature to.

  No dream, Lucy…

  I said no dream, Lucy. Hello, knock knock, it wasn’t a dream!

  Great, she’d just hit a girl so hard it knocked her out, she’d never hit anyone before, and now she was hearing voices in her head. This was turning into a day she wouldn’t forget too quickly.

  Lucy, come on speak to me, I know you can hear me, I can feel it.

  Fantastic, I am going mad. I can still hear the voices. I must have got kicked in the head too hard.

  Yes you can still hear the voice, only one of me, and no you’re not going mad, like I said before that wasn’t a dream. Say hello Lucy, I’m Sally-Anne.

  This is crazy, whatever you are just GO AWAY!

  Some thanks that was, but hey, at least we’re speaking now, you have to admit that. You did just talk to me. NO DREAM, LUCY!

  Oh MY God, I didn’t really think it was a dream. But who…

  We pissed her off didn’t we? Literally. The little bitch won’t do that again in a hurry.

  But…

  No buts Lucy, I’m here to help; you could look upon me like your guardian angel if you like. It looked like I came along just in the nick of time; she was really going for it, she could have killed you, the ugly little bitch.

  No way, she wouldn’t have done that…We’re friends, or we were. But I pissed on her or was that bit a dream, please say that was a dream. I didn’t do that really, I couldn’t have.

  Some friend! No dream and strictly speaking ‘I’ pissed on her. It was your bladder though; I just borrowed it for a second or two.

  But it did feel good…I can’t believe I just said that. I feel like life’s been pissing on me for the last two years. I must be going crazy.

  Not crazy and yes it did feel good, didn’t it? Just what the doctor ordered. You didn’t just say that either, you thought it, we don’t need to actually speak, we just think to each other. Anyway, you needed help; I came to help, simple as that.

  But... how…

  Don’t worry. If I explained it to you, you wouldn’t understand, just accept the fact that you’re not on your own now. We’ll make a good team, your beauty, my brains and power, we can’t fail.

  Okay, it feels good to finally have someone on my side for once…But I’m really not sure about what we just did or what you just did. I couldn’t stand it if someone pissed on me.

  Lucy, you’ve got a lot to learn sweetheart, if
you don’t piss on the people that hurt you you’ll be stinking of piss all your life while everyone else smells of roses. You’ve been pissed on long enough now. Are you happy with your life, Lucy?

  It’s okay…

  Okay. Is that what you really think? Be honest now.

  …No not really, I feel lonely, I have no friends and I hate this place.

  I thought so. Do you want to start enjoying yourself, break free from your life as it stands, have some fun, and start to take control?

  Yes I do, of course I do, but won’t I be carted off to the nearest asylum any time now kicking and screaming.

  Why would you? Nobody else knows about me do they? You aren’t going to suddenly rush out and pronounce it in the street are you? It’s all a matter of trust. Do you trust yourself and more importantly do you trust me?

  Do I trust a voice in my head? Why not…yes…yes, I don’t suppose I have a lot of choice really, what else can I do?

  Good. First things first then. I think it’s about time we became intimate friends with ourselves. You’re thirteen but you’ve led a very sheltered life.

  With that Lucy stripped off, got in bed, and with a little help from Sally-Anne had her very first orgasm, and her second, and her third. Bang, bang, bang multiple orgasms at thirteen. Sally-Anne was a good teacher. Lucy hadn’t felt such intense pleasure before; she was a good pupil. She smiled a real smile for the first time in almost two years, she felt great.

  She felt so good she’d completely forgotten about the poem she had to read out in front of class the next day. That was a real surprise because she hadn’t been able to think of much else for the past week.

  Lucy started to take control of her life that day, or more accurately, Sally-Anne started to take control of Lucy’s life that day.

  …

  The next day in English she approached the front of the class with a self-confidence she had never felt before. Before today she had hated standing up in front of class, she was sure she would make a fool of herself. It wasn’t that she couldn’t write poetry, she thought she was quite good actually, she just knew that her classmates weren’t looking at her for her poetry. They either loathed her for her looks and wanted her to look stupid in front of the class or were intent on looking at her because she raised their pulse rates. They weren’t going to listen to the poem, none of them were.

  Sally-Anne came rushing forward in a flash.

  Watch this, Lucy. But carry on as normal, okay?

  Okay, if you say so, but please don’t get me into any trouble while I’m up here. You must be able to feel how I feel. I’m nervous enough as it is.

  Trust me, Lucy. I won’t get you in any more trouble than you are now in front of class. Relax and just let it happen. You’ll be fine.

  Okay, Sally-Anne. Here goes nothing. Wish me luck.

  You won’t need it.

  At that moment it seemed to Lucy that part of Sally-Anne broke out of Lucy’s head and planted herself in the head of everyone in the room including Mr. Williams the English teacher, only Lucy and Sally-Anne had the slightest inkling of what was happening. As soon as Lucy began reading, every boy, girl and even Mr. Williams were receiving a replay of Lucy’s first orgasm, directly into their brains. It was as if they were right there in bed with her, running their hands over her body feeling the dampness between her legs.

  Lucy carried on with the poem with a big smile on her face. No one was really listening to her, not even Mr. Williams. She could have been singing the American National Anthem in Arabic. Georgie Dunston had been twitching so much she felt sure he was going to fall off his seat; it took Lucy all her strength not to burst out laughing. By the time the poem was finished five boys had embarrassingly sticky, uncomfortable wet patches in their pants, including Georgie Dunston. The others would finish the job off at first break, including Mr. Williams.

  As Sally-Anne later told Lucy, she also thought there were at least three of the girls who would bring themselves to orgasm before the day was through. Lucy did well in English from then on; in fact she ended up as a favourite of Mr. Williams. She became a favourite of the maths teacher, science teacher, and the music teacher. More pleasing though for Sally-Anne, she also became a favourite of the new history teacher, she was just out of college and totally innocent. And one or two of the other female members of staff were also beginning to notice Lucy for something other than her academic abilities.

  That’s my girl!

  Unfortunately for Lucy, she also became the favourite of most boys in school too. Fantasies would regularly be played out in the minds of these boys. Well into adulthood these same fantasies, like a XXX rated movie, would be brought out when they felt the need. All played out in their lonely frustrated minds.

  Some boys, like Georgie Dunston would want more than the fantasy; they wanted the real thing. They were fighting a losing battle though with Sally-Anne as Lucy’s protector, but that wouldn’t stop them trying. Some took the hint after two or three attempts and gave up the chase; others weren’t as perceptive and set Lucy on a pedestal, held her up as a challenge that had to be worth a hundred rejections just for one success.

  Lucy wasn’t one to be rushed into anything she didn’t want; she didn’t need to be rushed into anything with Sally-Anne watching out for her. A lot of boys would never have their dirty little fantasies fulfilled by Lucy Kirkpatrick, but that wasn’t going to stop them having dirty little fantasies.

  Five

  Lucy’s brother John had taken to photography like a cat takes to ignoring its owner if they don’t have food; he was a complete natural at it. He loved the world of photography and it loved him back an equal amount.

  John didn’t get home as much as he probably should have done, like Lucy he still thought of home as being in Aldershot, not Manchester. When he did get to stay with the family he noticed how they had all changed. Dad was hardly ever there and when he was he seemed pre-occupied with what was happening at work, he seemed to have aged so much in such a short time, grey hair was taking over his head with wild abandonment.

  Mum was always pleased when he came to visit but he noticed she was drinking much more than when they were living in Aldershot. Lucy was growing up, she was changing, still his little sister but with an edge he had never seen before. Lucy was probably no different than any girl of her age, just a normal girl. He put it down to difficult teenage years. When it was just Lucy and John though it was still the big brother little sister relationship they had always had. He knew nothing would change that.

  Sally-Anne liked John too but he didn’t know that, he didn’t know Sally-Anne existed, even if Sally-Anne was only in his little sisters head she wasn’t telling anybody. John was good for Lucy; as far as Sally-Anne was concerned John could rest easy in his bed at night.

  John’s nice, cute even, for a man, in a tight jeans and nice arse sort of way, and you won’t hear that from me very often Lucy, I promise.

  Sally-Anne, that’s my brother you’re talking about. You couldn’t get your hands on him even if you wanted to. He’s also my best friend, always will be. Anyway I thought you preferred girls to boys.

  I don’t want to get my hands on him, Lucy. He’s not my type. There are lots of things you still don’t know about me, I may be in your head but I still feel what you feel, when you fall over I’m still there feeling the pain too, when you play with yourself at night I feel your enjoyment.

  I know you’re there then, you taught me, remember? By the way did I ever thank you for that?

  Oh yeah, but seriously, I’ve got so much more to teach you, you’ve got so much more to learn. Do you still trust me?

  Should I have a reason not to?

  I’m like your Guardian angel, Lucy. If you can’t trust me who can you trust? John’s your big brother; I can be like your big sister if you want. Okay?

  Okay.

  If Sally-Anne felt John could rest easy in his bed at night it was a different story regarding David, Lucy’s dad. Sally-Anne had neve
r taken to David; she knew that deep down Lucy felt that her family should have stayed in Aldershot and blamed David completely for forcing the family to uproot and move north. Lucy was finding her dad harder to communicate with these days; he was either too busy or too tired. Sally-Anne felt something needed to be done; she was going to put things right, turn the tables in Lucy’s favour.

  Do you trust me, Lucy?

  Of course you do I’m your guardian angel.

  Lucy’s fourteenth birthday was when Sally-Anne finally decided enough was enough.

  December 10, 2004

  Lucy wasn’t the kind of girl who craved lots of birthday presents or a big party, maybe a sleepover with her few friends and a trip to the cinema or bowling like all the other girls did. She was also quite happy spending her birthday quietly at home; she considered the girls from school more as acquaintances rather than friends and wouldn’t want to spend any more time with them out of school than was absolutely necessary. One thing she did look forward to every birthday since John had left home though was his phone call on her birthday; he never forgot that. If he couldn’t make it home since he’d left he would always make the effort to ring her and make her feel special.

  When the phone did ring she was in her bedroom, she rushed to pick it up but someone beat her to it on the downstairs phone. She decided to pick it up anyway as it was probably John on the other end of the phone and they could have a three-way conversation. She heard her father talking to a man who obviously wasn’t John so she began to put the phone down.