Life After That

by Barbara Kevin

  "I was in an interview for this new job. I quit Dean & Delluca."

  He said while both were sitting down on the couch.

  "No! What happened?" Kirstin asked surprised.

  "Oh, no biggy. My supervisor was a pain in the ass, I couldn't stand him anymore, so I quit. So I was looking for a job where I could get paid more."

  "Yeah. and what was the interview for? But. an interview in a Sunday?"

  "I thought it was weird too, but last night, at Luna, I got to meet one of the managers and we were talking and he said he was looking for someone to supervise the bartenders and the waiters at the VIP section, also to talk to the VIPs to know if everything was in order, you know? Stuff like that. So. I said I was interested and he asked me to go today to meet his partner."

  "And. how was it?"

  "If I want it, the job is mine."

  "No way!"

  "Way."

  "But. you don't seem too excited. What's wrong?"

  "I don't know. maybe it's because I'll have to quit Inferno too and I really love that place. I have great friends there and. that's. where I met you too. So it's a special place for me." Kirstin grinned. "It's not gonna be cool to leave some of your friends there. But, the concerning me part, you can see me anytime you want. You don't need Inferno for that anymore."

  "Yeah, I guess. And it's a huge step for me too. Be supervisor. And I'm gonna get so much more money."

  "See? I think it's a great opportunity for you and you should definitely take it."

  "Yeah, I guess I will." he glanced down and smiled.

  "What?"

  "Nothing, it's just that I... miss this."

  "This what?"

  "This. Us. Talking. It's been a while."

  "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry." now Kirstin was the one glancing down.

  "Don't be. I understand."

  "But I am. I love our time together. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, any time, anywhere."

  "I know you do but I bet you feel the same way with Ashley, so."

  Tom saw no expression on Kirstin's face. She gazed down and played with her hair.

  "No, I don't."

  "Why not? I mean, you're not his girlfriend, I know that, but you guys go way back. You were best friends in high-school, you have a history. You must have a lot to talk about." "Don't get me wrong, he's great, a great friend. But not like he used to be. He's. weird now. Not weird, I mean. I don't know. He doesn't have the time to talk or do anything whenever we feel like it. He's always in a rush because of his job. I'm not complaining about his job. I couldn't even. This life he has now has been a dream of him from way before I met him, so I'm really happy for him for being where he is now, but. I don't know. After we had sex, things -"

  "I'm sorry, what? You two had sex?"

  "Yes."

  "I know it's not my business and if you don't wanna answer it, that's fine but. When was that?" Kirstin didn't wanna discuss her intimate like with Tom, but maybe, if she did, she would know if Tom was jealous of her so she'd know if he still had feelings for her. For some sick reason, she wanted to know that. "Last night."

  "After you two left the club?"

  "Yes. here at the loft."

  "Oh... Ok." Tom glanced away.

  Kirstin sensed he was a bit jealous on his own weird way, not talking about it. She continued then. "So, after last night's thingy, things felt better, like I could really talk to him, trust him. I felt a better connection between the two of us today.

  So, I opened up to him and told him things I never told anyone. But then, later today, he said we probably wouldn't see more of each other today because he would be too tired and wouldn't come over."

  "What? He'd be tired to see the girl he claims to love? What the hell is that?"

  "I know! I felt the same way, Tommy! I mean, if he really loves me the way he's always saying he does, things would be different. He'd never be too tired to see me, because I would never be too tired to see the person I love. So, now I'm afraid that." Kirstin, again, gazed down.

  "What? What K, baby?"

  Tom lifted her chin up and saw that Kirstin was crying :

  "Oh, baby, don't cry. Come here." Tom hugged her tightly. Kirstin had her head rested on his right shoulder

  "Why are you crying?"

  "Because I feel that, maybe, now that we had sex, he got what he wanted ever since high-school and he wants nothing to do with me anymore 'cause he saw that last night was not what he always dreamed it would be like. Maybe he got disappointed. Maybe I'm not what he dreamed of."

  "Shhh Kirstin. Don't say stupid things. You're way better than you give yourself credit for. You're every man's dream. Well, I don't know about every man, but I do know you are my dream."

  Kirstin broke their hug and looked deeply into Tom's light, bright green eyes. She just looked, did not say a word. A while later, she got up from the couch and said, while trailing to the kitchen counter :

  "You're gonna have to stop doing that." Tom followed her to the counter. Kirstin had his back to him.

  "Doing what?"

  Kirstin turned to face him.

  "Saying things that make me wanna kiss you."

  "You too."

  The second Kirstin hear Tom saying that, she didn't even think twice. She grabbed his head from behind and pressure his lips on hers, kissing Tom hard on the mouth.

  Chapter 25

  NEW YOR CITY, NY - O-Town's Limo - Sunday

  "What time is it?" Ashley asked to the tired faces in the limo with him.

  "It's a quarter to 11."

  It was late already. Ashley wouldn't go to Kirstin's loft at that time. And also, he would have to start putting his plan into action.

  "Hey Erik, Trev, did any of you guys, by any chance, got Grace's phone number yesterday?" "No man, I didn't. Did you Trev?"

  "No. Why you ask?"

  "I need a favor from her. I'll ask Kirstin for that later."

  . . .

  Kirstin's Loft

  Kirstin was still kissing Tom. She wasn't thinking at all. Nothing was going on in her mind. Tom, on the other hand, was confused. Was she playing him again? He didn't want to, but he gently pulled back from the kiss.

  "Wait, wait, wait Kirstin. What's going on here? Can you explain it to me?"

  "Why? Why do I have to explain everything to you? Can't I just act by impulse? Can't I just kiss you if I feel like it?"

  "Not when you just told me you had sex with a guy that loves you and you've been with for a while."

  "Well, you kissed me back and I know you had sex with Lexie last night."

  "What? What are you talking about?"

  "I talked to Erik and Trevor today and they told me you two were all over each other in the car last night and Lexie would be the last one you'd drop. I know you had sex with her. I'm not stupid."

  "Ok, wait. Don't go assuming things, ok? I never had sex with Lexie. And yes, I was all over her. And why wouldn't I be? It's ok if you're all over the pretty boy at the club, but I can't be with someone? And even if I had sex with Lexie, things would be different than it is with you and Ashley because it would be just casual sex, we are not together, we don't love each other. And I don't even know why we are having this conversation in the first place. I don't owe you any explanation."

  "You know what Tom? You are absolutely right. You don't. You know why? Because we have nothing to do with each other. This kiss was a mistake. This whole night was a mistake. You know why it was a mistake?" Tom just stared at Kirstin.

  She was practically yelling at him "Because I love Ashley! That's right. Don't act so surprised. I love Ashley! I love him!"

  "So, I guess I have no reason to be here." Tom, clearly hurt, grabbed his coat and opened the door. Kirstin followed him to the door.

  "That's right. Get out!" Kirstin slammed the door.

  She sat there on the floor, leaning against the door, crying her eyes out. She stayed that way for a while. She was calming down already and going to the b
athroom to wash her face when she heard her phone ring. She didn't wanna answer it.

  What if it was Tom? She let the machine get it. But when she heard Ashley's voice, she picked up the phone, trying to cover the fact she had been crying.

  "Hey Ashley. Sorry, I was in the bathroom."

  "Oh, that's ok. I thought you were sleeping already."

  "Nope."

  "Good. I wanted to hear your voice and wish you a good night first."

  "You did?" Ashley was so sweet.

  "How could I have done that to him?" Kirstin wondered.

  "Yes, baby, of course. How was your day away from me?"

  "Crappy. I stayed home the whole day. How about yours?"

  "Shitty without you. But I'm happy we are seeing each other tomorrow. We are seeing each other tomorrow, right?"

  "Yes, of course honey. I really wanna see you."

  "Ok, so let's do it like this. As soon as I get back from the TV show I have to do tomorrow, I'll call you just to make sure you're home, ok?"

  "Yes, but tomorrow I have classes and work. Don't forget it's Monday."

  "Oh yeah" Stupid me! I totally forgot. But we are only free after 6 pm anyways."

  "Oh, then that's fine. I'm gonna be here by then."

  "Good. Then I'll call you."

  "Ok, I'll be waiting."

  "Oh! One more thing."

  "Yes?"

  "Can you give me Grace's phone number please?"

  "Why you want Grace's phone number?"

  "Oh, it's not me. It's Erik and Trevor. But don't tell her that."

  "Ok. They got along pretty good, didn't they?"

  "Yes, they did."

  "So, ok. Take note." Kirstin informed the number and Ashley wrote it down.

  "Thanks, K. Do you think she'll be up right now? It's 11:45."

  "I'm sure she'll be. She only sleeps after 1 am."

  "Great. I'll tell them that then. So I'll talk to you tomorrow. I love you. Bye."

  "Bye." Kirstin hung up the phone.

  She was feeling bad. Feeling guilty. But worse than that, she was feeling torn. She felt asleep right there in the couch.

  . . .

  New York University - Lunch Time - Monday

  "Hey K." Grace greeted her friend, but got nothing. Kirstin was playing with her food, absentminded.

  "Hello? Erath to Kirstin! Hello?" Grace snapped her fingers, Kirstin shook her head and looked at her friend.

  "Oh, hey G."

  "Wow! You're that excited to see me? I'm flattered!" Grace joked putting her tray on the table.

  "I'm sorry. A lot happened this weekend. And I really have to talk to you."

  "Then talk."

  "But not now. It's complicated. Do you think you can come to my place after my work is done? I can pick you up if you want to." "Uh. I. can't. Can't we really talk now?"

  "No. Why can't we talk later?"

  "We can talk, of course we can. I just. can't go to your house today."

  "Why not?" Kirstin felt Grace was weird.

  "Why not? It's just that. I promised my brother I'd help him out with this thing tonight and I don't know what time he'll get home, so I have to be there when he gets there."

  "Oh, ok. Can I go to your place, then? After work?"

  "Yes, of course."

  "After 6 then?"

  "Yeah, ok."

  "I gotta go now, G. But see you at 6." "Bye K."

  . . .

  MTV Studio - 3 p.m.

  Kirstin was working at editing for a while now and she sure had skills. Sometime Andy, her boss, would trust her a whole Making The Band episode, she was that good, but today, she was totally unfocused.

  "Kirstin Wake up! Didn't you hear me saying stop?" Andy woke her from her thoughts.

  "Oh, I'm sorry Andy. I didn't hear you. Can we start again?"

  "Well, we are gonna have to. Just try to focus, ok?"

  "Yes, I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

  "It better not." When it was 5:30 pm, Andy said it would be ok for Kirstin to go. Things were done for the day and Andy also felt Kirstin wasn't feeling too good, so he sent her home. Kirstin got her car in the parking lot and drove to Grace's apartment.

  . . .

  Grace's Apartment

  "Hey, come in." Grace greeted, motioning for her friend to get in. Seeing no one was home, Kirstin yelled something that was making her go crazy, she had to tell someone about that.

  "I kissed Tom last night!"

  "You did what?" Grace asked shutting the door behind her.

  "I kissed Tom last night." Kirstin sat on the sofa and held her head with both her hands.

  "You didn't!"

  "I did! I did! I really did! How stupid am I?"

  "Pretty stupid! What were you thinking? Why do I even ask? You obviously weren't thinking!" Grace was pacing around the couch Kirstin sat on.

  "I know! I know! But. I'm so messed up I can't think straight! I'm totally messed up!"

  "What do you mean?"

  "I don't know what to do anymore. Let's just say there was a person in your life who you were always in love with. And then something happened and he was gone for a while. And then you met another person and you started to have feeling for him." Kirstin stared with a pleaded look at Grace and Grace sat next to her.

  Kirstin continued "Do you think it's possible you could have feelings for two people at the same time, G?"

  "Very, K. Very. What is not possible is to be true to two people at once. And you know that Tom has feelings for his own."

  "I don't know wanna hurt him more than I already did, G."

  "Don't toy with him."

  "I'm not."

  "I know things have been difficult for you and I know Tom has been the type of friend you needed and by the time you needed a friend like him. And you do care for him, possible as more than a friend. But if you don't intend to pursue those feelings, and I don't believe you do, you have to let him go.

  " Kirstin just stared at her friend. She hugged Grace and got up from the couch, heading to the door. Before shutting it, she said :

  "Thank you Grace." And then, Kirstin was off to her car.

  . . .

  Kirstin's apartment building

  Kirstin was getting into the elevator. On the way to her loft, in the car, she had come to a decision. It wasn't gonna be easy, but she knew it was not only the best thing for her, but also for him. Still, it would not be easy to explain it to him. When she put the key on her lock, she heard a music coming from inside "Weird" she thought. When she opened the door, her jaw dropped. She couldn't believe her eyes.

  Chapter 26

  NEW YOR CITY, NY – Kirstin's Loft – Monday

  Kirstin was amazed by the image. Ashley was in front of her holding a single white rose and the apartment was amazingly set. Ashley took her hand in his, gave her the flower without saying a word and embrace her so they could dance to the sound of Glenn Medeiros´ Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for you.

  If I had to live my life without you near me

  The days would all be empty

  The nights would seem so long

  With you I see forever oh so clearly

  I might have been in love before

  But it never felt this strong

  Our dreams are young and we both know

  They'll take us where we want to go

  Hold me now

  Touch me now

  I don't want to live without you

  Nothing's gonna change my love for you

  You ought to know by now how much I love you

  One thing you can be sure of

  I'll never ask for more than your love

  Nothing's gonna change my love for you

  You ought to know by now how much I love you

  You only change my whole life through

  But nothing's gonna change my love for you

  Kirstin took a better look at the apartment while dancing with Ashley. There were candles all over the place, all over the ki
tchen counter, a candle for each step of the stairs. The candlelight was the only thing lighting the place, so it was pretty romantic.