Warden's Path

by Heath Pfaff

  Well, that was obvious enough. I was the kind of friend who had lost too many people, the kind who was afraid of losing anyone else. I was the kind of friend who was confused, and afraid, and not ready to take risks with the people . . . the one person that I had left whom I really cared for.

  It was a little while longer before Korva returned carrying a great deal of wood and a pouch full of supplies. She looked around as she entered the camp. “Where is Dreea?”

  She must have seen me wince because she nodded. “Oh, you two had a bit of a lover’s spat.” She gave a soft chuckle.

  I blushed and shook my head. “It’s not like that, we’re just friends. I mean, I’ve never really been with a girl, and she’s not really interested in me like that.” I somehow managed to stammer over every word in those two short sentences.

  Korva smiled. “I was joking, Lillin, but you might want to investigate why you were so quick to deny that notion, and why you took it so seriously.” Before I could respond to any of that, Korva looked out into the woods. “She’s alright?”

  My eyes went after and I felt a knot settle in my stomach. “I think she’s alright. She . . . “ I found it difficult to find the right words. “I don’t want her to go through the Warden training, and she believes it’s because I don’t think she’ll make it through.”

  “Oh,” Korva’s voice was soft. “And you don’t, of course. Your experiences have taught you that people you care about will eventually leave you, and it’s usually death that takes them.”

  I was surprised at how apt her words were. I gave a nod, almost afraid to speak in that moment, as though doing so would give my fears a life of their own.

  “You might be right, Lillin, but it’s not your decision. Dreea needs to decide for herself what she’d like to do, and as her friend you must either stand beside her, or accept that you can’t be close to her anymore. Dreea is strong, and the other Warden school isn’t like ours was. It’s still hard, but far fewer of the students die. Their Wardens aren’t the same as ours, not as powerful in the Will, but they are still strong. I think Dreea has what is necessary to become a Warden, and I’m not just saying that to ease your worries. She is stronger and smarter than it seems at first, well, smarter. Her strength is evident.” Korva smiled, the expression just a little strange on her pale, deathly features. All the Wardens seemed to have that problem about them.

  Dreea did look strong. Her body was lithe and muscular. Willifen were stronger than humans as a matter of course, but she was strong in other ways too. I gave a small nod. “You’re right, she is strong, and it’s not her fault I doubt her. I’m just afraid of losing another friend.”

  “We’re all afraid of losing those we love. It’s how we stay good at heart. Our training tries to beat that out of us, but Wardens are still people. Some of us keep more of that than others, but every one of us has loved, and every one of us knows what it means to lose that.” Korva sighed as she took a seat near the fire. “I was foolish enough to fall in love with a man who was afraid to love me back. Now he’s alive and well, but he does everything he can to stay far, far away from me.”

  I was surprised to hear this. It wasn’t that it seemed impossible to me, or that it felt wrong, but Wardens never talked about this kind of thing. I came forward and sat nearer the fire myself. “How do you cope with those feelings?”

  “Sometimes I don’t.” Her voice was a bit pained. “Sometimes I mourn what might have been and it’s hard to see through those feelings, but mostly I just try to remember that it was wonderful while it lasted. He was wonderful for my heart, and I get to keep those good times.”

  I was a bit afraid to ask the next question, but I found that I wanted to know. “Did he love you back?”

  She paused for a moment, but then nodded. “He did, but he is a Warden too, and he saw his feelings for me as a weakness, one that could be exploited. He asked to be moved to the front line, and then he was gone. He didn’t say goodbye, at least not in person. He left a note explaining it all, five handwritten pages telling me that we had to be strong, and our connection took away from that.” Korva snorted and shrugged. “He was wrong, of course. Love can hurt you, but it never takes away from your strength.”

  Another question slipped into my mind, and I gave it voice as it found its way to my tongue. “Those who are gone, people you love and they die, do you think they would want us not to feel things again? Sometimes I feel like having other . . . friends,” Was that the right word? Well, it was close enough. “It’s like betraying my friends who have fallen.”

  “Well, the thing about real friends, Lillin, is that they want you to be happy. Even if they’re gone, you have to know that they would have wanted you to go on and be happy.” Korva answered. “I have had friends in the time since Rendan left.” She shot me a small, playful smile. “We’re friends, after all, not just master and apprentice.” The smile slipped away, and her voice grew more serious. “It’s okay to care for people again. It’s okay to love, even if it means you might eventually hurt. Love is accepting vulnerability, but at the reward of finding true solace in someone else. Love is the most important thing we have.”

  Quiet settled between us, and I found myself looking out into the forest again. The Expanse was an untamed wilderness that stretched on and on for a long time. The paths through it were barely existent at all, and mostly a connection of game trails created by animals. You navigated by a special kind of compass, or by starlight when it could be seen through the trees.

  I was worried for Dreea, but my talk with Korva had left my head in a clearer space. I would need to support my willifen friend in whatever course she decided to take, even if that meant there was a chance I might lose her. She deserved that from me, and she was strong. I needed to give her credit for that. I’d scolded Zarkov for not believing in me, and I wouldn’t do the same to Dreea. When she came back, I’d tell her.

  Dreea, though, was a long time in returning. The night wore on and the campfire flickered out. I was growing increasingly concerned when she finally came quietly back out of the woods, walking on all fours. I had been laying down when I heard her, but I sat upright as soon as I saw her slip back between the trees.

  “Dreea?” I called to her softly as she entered, not wanting to wake Korva who had been asleep for a while. I knew I didn’t have to be loud.

  Dreea’s ears turned to me, and then she stood up and came over, quietly crossing the camp until she reached me.

  “What is it, Lillin?” She asked softly. She looked tired, and her eyes seemed a bit red and glossy.

  “I’m . . .” Apologizing wasn’t easy for me. In fact, Warden training had set a hard edge to my personality, a cruelty and firmness that allowed very little room for compassion. “I’m sorry, Dreea.” I forced out the words, and strangely enough, they felt good to say. “I was wrong to doubt you, wrong not to stand behind whatever choice you make. You are incredibly strong, and whatever you need to do, I will be your friend and support.”

  Dreea looked surprised, and her expression and stance softened visibly. “Thank you.” She responded after a short moment. “That means much to me. Your opinion means much to me.” She looked out to the other side of the fire where her bedroll had been laid out. “It is late now. We should rest before morning.”

  On impulse I reached out and gently grabbed her arm. “Dreea, would you . . .” A flush ran through me, starting in my cheeks and rippling all through my body. “Would you lay with me for the night?”

  Dreea’s eyes came back to mine. They shone in the light reflected by the fire. She hesitated, looking back at her own bedroll, than over at me again. Her tail swished once, then twice at her back and she nodded. “Yes, I will lay with you, but is my watch. I will need to wake Korva in a few hours.” She said, and together we slid down beside the fire.

  “That is fine. I just . . . “ Instead of going on with words I drew closer to Dreea.

  She was warm and soft, and having her body pressed next to
mine made me feel safe. I put an arm around her, and she did the same to me, and soon enough we were tucked close together beneath the stars. I remembered Zarkov, and the memory stung, but in that moment it stung a little less. Laying there with Dreea felt a little like coming home, and that was a feeling I hadn’t had in a very long time.

  Sleep found me quickly.

  Chapter 14

  Through the Void

  14.1

  The Expanse had well earned its name. It really did seem to stretch on and on forever. We traveled for ten weeks through the endless woods, sticking to a path of waypoints set by the Wardens long ago, seeing nothing of modern civilization in all of that time. My training was increasingly vigorous, both in combat and in my use of the Will. I was getting better at both. I’d thought my fighting skills were already fine honed, but Korva’s method of teaching stuck with me in a way that Arthos’ hadn’t. She was firm, but understanding, and she seemed better able to gauge what I was doing wrong and to get me focused in the proper way.

  Dreea and I had become closer than before. We were still just friends, close friends, but we often shared a bedroll, and I’d come to rely on her in a way I hadn’t relied on anyone other than Zarkov. It was exciting and new, delightful in a way that I had little experience with. It scared me a great deal knowing that we were getting closer and closer to the Warden school, and closer to the moment where I might have to say goodbye to her, at least for a time. That just made it more important to savor the time we did have together, short though it was.

  Zara made the days of travel go much faster than they might have otherwise. If it hadn’t been for our kea, I could only imagine we might never have made it through the Expanse at all. The Expanse, from what I understood of our our history, had once been humanity’s home. There had been cities and towns spotting the area for a long, long time, but when the skolbala had pushed humanity to the edge of the sea, it had left all of the area destroyed and empty.

  The armies of the skol had killed anyone foolish enough to stay behind, and burned most of civilization to the ground. We passed a few such husks, though they were overgrown to the point of being almost unrecognizable now. After they were defeated, humanity was forever changed. We lost our desire to spread out and explore the world. We concentrated our masses in high population cities, focusing on larger, more fortified establishments that would allow us to come together quickly if necessary. There were a few villages and towns beyond our cities, and they were slowly spreading now, but the Expanse was what happened when an entire people were forced to change the way their entire way of thinking. Humanity was living in the shadow of its own defeat.

  There were, of course, settlements beyond the Expanse. As we’d been taught in school, the cult of The Way had set out to make a place of their own, and they’d crossed the Expanse in the process. We’d been told that an army was sent after them and eventually destroyed them, though that part I now knew wasn’t true. Since becoming a Warden certain things regarding our history had been clarified.

  The Way had set out, but not because they were chased out. They set out because they saw the Will as a tyranny, and one that they wouldn't live beneath. During this era in time nearly half of our people were followers of the Way, men and women disenfranchised by the harsh rule of the Iron Will. The exodus hurt us badly, and it probably hurt them as well. Crossing the Expanse with so many people had to be terribly difficult, and to make matters worse, we sent an army after them, a massive one.

  That army chased their flanks all through the Expanse, and eventually would settle and become the basis for the second Warden school. They had a portal door there, several actually, but it was traditional for recruits to make the trek through the Expanse so as to fully understand the distances involved, the history that stretched over the area. You could feel the harsh reality of the past in every step you took through that forgotten place.

  The remnants of cities and towns were all but invisible now. The trees and underbrush had swallowed everything up leaving a landscape that was barely recognizable as having once been settled, and yet at times you could almost hear the echoes of carts traveling over ancient cobblestone, as though memory had become a ghost that haunted this seemingly endless stretch of countryside. Occasionally you’d encounter a wall that was a piece of some massive structure in the past, or the remnants of a stone building that now was little more than a nest for moss to rest, and every time you couldn’t help but be lost in wonder at what we had once been.

  “Why did we never establish waypoints, or other cities in the Expanse? It is peaceful here now. It seems strange to leave it all abandoned.” I asked as I thought of the history the kea tread upon as we wound through the area. I knew the answer, but I needed to hear it from someone else. We were afraid to try and become what we had been.

  “At first it was a taboo. People believed it cursed and haunted for a long time, both by the people killed by the skolbala, and by those who died during the exodus of the Way. After that it became less about it being taboo, and more about strategic importance. With the Way established on the on the far side of the Expanse, it would be very difficult for them to move an army all the way through this area. It’s not an easy trek, even on kea, so the idea of pushing an army through all of this becomes a nightmare logistically. Even when we first chased the Way it wasn’t easy, and that was only a few hundred years since our retreat across the land in the first place. It has become considerably harder to pass since then. Also, humans are afraid to live too far apart anymore. It’s a fear that is as ingrained as it is irrational.” Korva explained as we traveled.

  She shrugged, then she went on. “For a while we actively forbid building in here, but over time we didn't really have to enforce it. People no longer wanted to try. There are cities and towns between Black Mark and the Expanse, and there are a few cities and towns beyond the Expanse, but after that there is the Desert and the frontline, and then only the cities and towns of the enemy.” The Desert was what they called the area of land that had been fought over all of these years. It was a barren wasteland upon which only death grew. From how I’d heard it spoken of, it was more common to see a pile of bones then a patch of grass.

  I thought about the entire situation for a short time. I hadn’t considered the Way much recently, not with all else that was happening, and yet we were getting closer to them all the time. It was hard to piece together what I’d learned in school about them, and what I was coming to understand of them since. It was equally hard to picture them with cities and towns of their own. There was a large portion of the world beyond our borders that I knew nothing about, an entirely different culture, and one that we had started a war with out of nothing but fear of their ideas.

  I gnawed on this information for a while, letting it crawl in and settle in my brain. It felt like I had very little real understanding of the world. The histories and lessons of school felt inadequate, and all because the Wardens didn’t want people to know that they were at war. The Iron Will seemed less stiff when it was shown that there was resistance, and that resistance had been keeping us frozen in place for hundreds and hundreds of years.

  Korva stopped suddenly, pulling her kea to a halt. “Quick break. I’m getting a message I need to translate.” She said, hopping off her mount in a single motion. She reached to her belt and pulled out the small stone that the Warden’s used to send messages across great distances. I’d been practicing with a smaller version of that myself and I was getting much better at it. In fact, many of my abilities were getting better. Focus was still difficult, performing small tasks harder than it should have been, but Korva seemed impressed by the strides forward I was making.

  Dreea and I dismounted and stretched our legs, looking around at the local scenery. There were no signs of civilization in sight, neither new or ancient. We’d come across a marker stone several hours before. Those were placed at intervals throughout the Expanse and gave hints as to the most efficient methods of travel, but only if you
knew how to read them. The system was complex, but Korva was explaining it to me as we went. They were useful for Wardens who understood them, but anyone who didn’t know how to use the stones could find that they were deceptive and dangerous. The Expanse was full of terrors.

  Large predators hid in the deepest parts of the woods, lurking and waiting for foolish creatures to stumble past, and other places were full of hidden caves that one could fall down and vanish forever. Uncrossable rivers flowed where cities had once stood, and rivers with deceptively quick currents were strewn across the terrain. The Expanse was quick to remind he unwary that it didn’t welcome humanity any longer.

  “I like it here.” Dreea said as we looked around, the world quiet and seemingly peaceful around us.

  I had to nod in agreement. For all that the Expanse was huge and barren of civilization, it was also beautiful and quiet. It was easy to let your mind wander, and easier to forget that the world we lived in was a complex and confusing place full of dangers that we made for ourselves. Deep in the Expanse there were no Wardens, and the Way was a distant threat that we didn’t need to deal with.