by Holly Renee
She stood from the couch to walk to the kitchen and I followed her. The smell of vanilla invaded me as she passed by me, and it was one of my favorite smells in the world. It smelled like home.
“Why didn’t you tell me how much you hated her?” I sat down at the bar as she started pulling pans out from the cabinets.
“Hate is a strong word. I would go with…” She tapped her finger against the counter. “Major dislike. Plus, you’re still young. I know that you’re still playing the field as you kids like to say.” She wagged her eyebrows at me and I died a little inside.
“Mom.” I chuckled.
“If you married her, I would have just disowned you. At least until you had kids because they would definitely need their Nana. Can you imagine what your kids would have looked like?” My mom shuddered. “They probably would have popped out with orange skin, platinum blonde hair, and a French manicure.”
“You could never disown me. I’m your baby boy.” I leaned back in my chair and grinned at her.
“That’s true, but I would try to beat some sense into you.” She waved her spatula in the air in my direction. “Or get Livy to help me.”
“How could Livy help you?” I leaned forward resting my chin in my hand.
“That girl has you wrapped around her little finger. You just haven’t figured it out yet.”
But I was all too aware of the effect Livy had on me. I just didn’t know what I was going to do about it.
L I V
Present
I never really understood why people called it a hangover because I didn’t feel hungover. I felt like I was dying.
By the time Mason and I had managed to pack up my sparse apartment and drive back to Tennessee, I didn’t care where I ended up. I just needed painkillers, a pitch-black room, and some peace and quiet.
So, that’s what I did for the first couple days. I settled into the guest room of my brother’s beautiful house, and I hid out.
It felt weird to be in his space. The whole house fit him so perfectly. My brother worked in construction, and you could see the craftsmanship in every aspect of his home. But it was also so easy to see that no one other than a bachelor lived there.
He had a large bath that I soaked in for hours trying to rid myself of my embarrassment from the night of Parker’s bachelor party.
I had been half naked.
In front of Parker, in front of my brother, and in front of all their friends.
I buried my head under the water and screamed out my frustration. I could remember bits and pieces of the night and the things I had said to Parker, but the more I remembered, the more I wanted to forget.
He seemed so angry with me. The whole night he watched my movements with a sour look on his face, but I didn’t care what he thought of me.
At least, I wished I didn’t.
He was furious when I pulled Brandon onto the dance floor and ground against him, and he looked like he was ready to kill me when I licked salt off his friend Josh’s hand before throwing back a shot of tequila.
After that everything became blurrier. I remembered arms lifting me in the air and carrying me home after I could no longer walk on my own, but I couldn’t remember whose they were.
When I woke up to Mason packing my apartment, I prayed that I was imagining things and that the night never really happened, but unfortunately, it had. I tried to think of every reason in the world why I shouldn’t come home with Mason, but everything I came up with revolved around Parker.
So instead of begging my brother to leave me behind, I came up with a game plan. Really, it was more like a ground rule.
Avoid Parker James at all costs.
Simple.
Or at least I thought.
I managed to follow my ground rule for one day.
On the second day of my hiatus, my mother showed up at the door while my brother was at work. I loved my mom. I really did, but I really loved being about three hours away from her.
“Hey, Mom.” I squinted out the front door into the sunlight.
“Oh God, Olivia.” She pulled me into her arms, and I stiffened. “I’m so happy you’re home.”
“Yeah. Me too.” I pulled the long sleeves of my shirt over my hands.
She pranced into my brother’s home, setting her oversized purse down on the bar, and made herself at home.
Her hair was the same dark brown shade as mine, but that was where the similarities ended. She was dressed in some extravagant hot pink dress and a pair of black heels, and she didn’t look like she was the mom of two adults.
“What have you been up to?” She pulled two bottles of water out of the refrigerator. When it took me longer than a second to answer, she spoke over me. It was something that I could always count on her for. “I can’t wait for you to meet my boyfriend, Peter. You are going to love him.”
Taking a sip of my water, I nodded my head. I’d met plenty of my mom’s boyfriends throughout the years, and sure, I liked some of them. They were all typically nice to Mason and me, but they were also not around for very long.
That was the thing about my mom. She needed a man in her life, but she never seemed to find one that could hold her attention for long. Or maybe it was the other way around. I didn’t really know. All I knew was that the constant influx of men tended to leave me and Mason to our own devices, and we preferred it that way.
We stuck together, we took care of each other, and we were each other’s best friends. Until I left.
“Are you dating anyone, Livy?”
“No, Mom.”
She fingered a piece of my hair that I hadn’t brushed since I had gotten out of the bath the day before. “You’re not going to be young forever, you know.”
“I’m well aware.” I rolled my eyes.
My mom talked some more about herself, her boyfriend, and her new purse for a good hour before I managed to get her out of the house. And when the door shut behind her, I felt hungover again.
By the time Mason made it home from work, I was chin deep in a fluffy white blanket on his couch binge watching Game of Thrones.
Because Jon Snow.
“Is this all that you’ve been up to today?” He pushed my feet out of his way and sat down next to me.
“No. I managed to paint my nails.” I wiggled my freshly painted black toenails at him. “Then Mom showed up.”
He winced and I knew he felt my pain without me having to say anything else. “Sorry. I tried to push her off as long as I could. I didn’t know she would drop by today.”
“It’s not your fault. I had to face her sooner or later.” I shrugged.
“What did you, um?” He scratched his head, looking nervous and totally out of character for my brother. “What did you tell her you’ve been doing?”
“This is Mom we’re talking about, Mason. We only talked about her.”
He nodded his head in understanding before grabbing my bottle of water off the table and taking a drink.
“Well, get ready.” He stood from the couch, stretching his muscles. “We’re going out to dinner tonight. You’ve been cooped up in this house too long.”
I groaned, but he was right. I couldn’t stay locked up in this house forever. Even if I wanted to.
…
This was not what I expected. If I had known we were meeting people for dinner, I would have dressed better, or you know, not have come.
But it was too late for that now. When we walked into the restaurant, Mason passed the hostess and headed straight for the back. As soon as I saw the table filled with three other people, panic filled me.
Brandon smiled at me when he saw us approaching, and I made quick work to grab the seat next to him. Because on the other side of him was a pretty girl with light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. She wasn’t what bothered me though; it was Parker’s arm against the back of her chair.
He was staring at me as Mason pulled out my seat, and I tried to avoid looking at him in his plain black t-shirt that looked
far too insanely hot against the backdrop of his tattoos.
The table was silent when we first sat down, and I avoided looking at anyone except for my brother.
But Brandon didn’t let that fly. He pulled my chair closer to his and pulled me into his side. “There’s my drinking buddy. How are you feeling?”
“Finally getting over my hangover after trying to keep up with you.” I nudged him with my elbow.
“I told you, girl. You should have listened instead of being so competitive.”
I laughed because he was right. I never backed down from a challenge.
“Livy,” Parker’s voice pulled me from my conversation with Brandon, and he sounded nervous. “This is my fiancée, Emily.”
Emily smiled sweetly at me and gave me a little wave. A perfect little wave with her perfectly pink nails. I was such a bitch for judging her. She looked nice as could be, but she didn’t look right next to Parker.
“Hi, Emily. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too.” She seemed far too excited to meet me. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
My gaze slid to Parker, but he was swallowing down half his beer. I doubted she had truly heard that much about me. At least not the parts that mattered.
“I’ve heard a lot about you as well. Are you excited about the wedding?” Why the fuck did I just ask that?
“Yes!” Her voice went up a few octaves, and I think everyone at the table winced. “Parker has been amazing.” She looked up at him, and I looked at Brandon’s glass in front of him. I wondered if he would notice if I quickly chugged his whiskey. “But you’ve known him forever.” Her voice broke through my thoughts. “You know how great he is.”
“Oh yeah. For sure.”
Brandon snorted softly beside me, but Emily just nodded her head.
The rest of dinner seemed to go the same way. Emily talked about the wedding while everyone else listened. We all interjected ohs and ahs where necessary, but I was itching to get out of there. I wasn’t too keen to hear all the details of Parker’s wedding. A wedding that one-day ago, I had envisioned myself in.
It seemed like a joke now. How naïve I was. How idiotic.
“So Liv, have you thought about what you’re going to do for a job?”
Brandon’s question caught me off guard because I hadn’t really thought about it at all.
“Umm, I’m not sure yet. I guess I need to start looking.” I laughed.
Mason pulled me into his side. “No rush.”
“Well I’m looking for a receptionist, if you’re interested.”
“Really?” I perked up because working with Brandon sounded awesome. The two of us had so much fun together.
“Yeah.” The server walked up to our table and interrupted us. Brandon leaned in closer to me to talk over her. “I’ll call you tomorrow to talk details.”
Parker was staring at him, but Brandon just took a swig of his drink and smirked at him.
Then Parker lifted his own drink and I saw a small tattoo located on the inside of his left wrist. A tattoo that was all too familiar. A small, insignificant tattoo that most people looked over, but not me. I knew that tattoo because I drew it. I doodled it in one of his books over four damn years ago, and now it was on his body. And I couldn’t take my eyes off it.
“Livy, are you seeing anyone right now?” Emily’s voice caught me off guard, and I pulled my eyes away from Parker to look at her.
“I’m sorry. What?”
“Are you dating anyone?”
Why did everyone keep asking me that?
“No. Not right now.” I avoided looking at Parker.
“I have a friend that I think you would hit it off with. He’s cute, and he’s a flight attendant.”
Brandon snorted at my side. “I think you’re trying to set him up with the wrong friend.”
“What do you mean?” Emily looked at Brandon, clearly annoyed.
“He’s a male flight attendant. I think you’d have a better chance at setting him up with Mason.”
I choked on my water when I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Fuck you, man,” my brother called out at the same time Emily said, “You’re such an asshole, Brandon.”
Brandon shrugged his shoulders before winking at me. “I’m just trying to save Livy some heartbreak. Can you imagine finding out the man you were in love with was actually in love with another man?”
“It would be devastating.” I chuckled and Emily rolled her eyes. “Especially if he fell in love with my brother.”
“I’m not gay.” Mason slammed his hand on the table, and Brandon and I leaned into each other laughing.
“You two are going to be trouble together,” Mason grumbled as he threw back the rest of his drink.
Brandon put his arm around my shoulder and Parker watched him like a hawk.
“Maybe you and Brandon should date,” Emily said sarcastically, but Brandon and I looked up at each other.
I wasn’t attracted to Brandon. Was he hot? Hell yes, but from the moment I met him, I knew we were going to be great friends. We were too much alike. Would we make a good couple? No. Would we make the greatest dynamic duo ever? Absolutely.
“I don’t think Livy could handle me.” Brandon was grinning at me, and it was impossible not to feed off his energy.
“Oh, Brando.” I patted his cheek. “Go ahead and believe that, sweetheart.”
“I can do this thing with my tongue,” Brandon started, but Parker interrupted him.
“You do realize her brother is sitting right there, right?”
“Mason is your brother?” Brandon put his hand against his chest in fake shock.
“He is.” I laughed.
“Well this is just tragic.” He put my hand in his. “Best friends then?”
“Do we get a secret handshake?” I raised an eyebrow.
“What kind of barbarian do you take me for? Of course, we’ll have a secret handshake. Don’t worry, Parker.” He looked up at his friend who was still watching us. “I’ll keep it clean since her brother is right there.”
Parker rolled his eyes, and I decided that Brandon and I were going to be great friends. If I couldn’t avoid Parker while I was here, I could at least piss him off with his best friend.
L I V
Four years and five and a half months earlier
Parker was acting weird. I had been avoiding him since the almost kiss, but today, he seemed to have a different plan. Because he wouldn’t get out of my space. No matter where I moved, he seemed to mirror me.
We had been at the lake all day with my brother and some of their friends, and it was a good day. Parker had laid his towel out next to mine and his eyes were glued to me as I pulled off my tank top and blue jean shorts.
But I didn’t care. At least that was what I was telling myself.
He watched every movement of my hands as I spread sunscreen over my skin, but I attempted to avoid looking at him. I put on my large sunglasses as he pulled out his sketchbook, but I avoided looking down as the pencil in his hand moved rapidly against the paper.
His gaze kept flicking to me, and when I couldn’t take it anymore, I lay on my stomach and tried to relax in the warm summer sun.
The sun heated my skin, and as badly as I hated to admit it, the feel of Parker beside me made everything else disappear.
“Hey, man. Where’s Madison?” some guy asked, causing me to stir.
My face was smooshed against my towel, and I was pretty sure there was a small amount of drool trailing down my chin. But my ears perked up at the mention of her.
“I couldn’t tell you,” Parker said without much thought.
“What, you can’t keep your woman in line?” I rolled my eyes at the idiotic comment.
“She’s not my woman anymore.” Parker paused and my heart leaped out of my chest. “We broke up yesterday.”
He broke up with her.
He broke up with her.
Did she break up with him?
Did he break up with her for me?
The mound of questions started rolling through my mind. Was it because of our almost kiss? Did it have absolutely nothing to do with me?
Instead of showing how interested in the answers I really was, I kept my head down against my towel and pretended to do nothing but bathe in the sun. But my heart was beating out of my chest.
After a few minutes, Parker finally broke the silence.
“You don’t have anything to say?”
I wasn’t sure if he was talking to me, but I peeked my eyes open and looked up at him through my arms.
“Yes. I’m talking to you.” He leaned closer to me and I breathed in the scent of his cologne mixed with the sunshine.
“Why would I have anything to say?” I sat up, stretching my arms above my head causing his eyes to drop to my chest.
“You’re good at a lot of things, Livy, but lying isn’t one of them.” He smirked, the right side of his mouth slightly higher than the left.
“Well what do you want me to say?” I pulled my hair out of my ponytail and shook it out.
“Tell me what you think.” He was watching me closely, and I loved it. I fucking loved every second of it.
He still had his sketchbook in his hand. He always did. He was constantly drawing and doodling. Instead of answering him, I reached out and pulled it away from his chest. The drawing was a portrait. Something that he must have been working on for quite some time due to the intricate lines and shading. As I stared at my reflection on the paper, I didn’t recognize the girl in front of me.
Half of my face looked normal, what the rest of the world saw, what I saw, but the other half was covered in flowers, wings, and bursts of wild lines. There was no order. It was chaotic and beautiful and ran off the page. You couldn’t tell where she began and where she ended.
“It’s beautiful.” I ran my finger lightly down the page, tracing the line of my nose.
“You’re beautiful.” He was staring at me in a way he never had before.