by Holly Renee
He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear before his eyes skirted to my brother.
Did he want me to be happy that he and Madison broke up? Would it really change anything? We still had my brother to worry about.
But not right now, Mason was being Mason, and he was on the side of the ledge about to jump in the lake. I’m sure all the girls waiting below would be more than impressed by him, and he knew it too.
“Do you want to go for a swim?” I said breathlessly.
Parker stood and reached his hand out for me. I placed my hand in his much larger one, and he followed me to the edge of the water.
The cool water hit my overheated skin as I dipped my toes into the lake. Parker was right behind me. I could feel him. Whether it was the heat of his body or his presence alone, I knew he was there, and when I leaped into the water headfirst, I knew he would follow me.
And when I came up for air, he was the first thing I saw.
He was the only thing I saw.
His hand slid against my hip under the water, and even though it was ninety degrees outside, chills bumps covered my skin. I could feel the calluses on his fingers from him constantly having a pencil in his hand.
He wrapped his other hand around mine, intertwining our fingers. Our exchange hidden under the dark water of the lake.
“What are we doing, Parker?” I whispered even though no one else was around us.
“I don’t know.” His hand tightened against mine. “But I can’t stay away from you any longer.”
P A R K E R
Present
Brandon was a fucking idiot. Was he one of my best friends? Yes. Did he enjoy making my life miserable for his own sick enjoyment? Fuck yes.
He called me yesterday to tell me that he offered Livy a job and she took it. When I asked him if he told her that I owned half the business, he just laughed.
Of course, he didn’t.
He knew it would be torture for me to work with her. He also thought it would be a good source of entertainment for him. What he didn’t know though? Livy and I weren’t a game.
But the thing about Brandon was he thought he knew better than anyone else.
Emily? He hated her with me. He said that she stifled me. Whatever the fuck that was supposed to mean.
When I told him I was proposing to her, he literally cringed. When I told him that she said yes, he voiced how crazy he thought I was.
But I wasn’t crazy. Was Emily safe? Yes. No doubt. But I didn’t see anything wrong with playing it safe. Emily and I were different, sure. She had perfectly unmarked cream skin that was always incredibly soft and smooth. Me? My skin was covered in so much ink that I could barely remember what my skin looked like without it.
She rarely cursed and always made a face when expletives flew out of my mouth, but I tried to tame it down in front of her. Which annoyed the fuck out of Brandon.
But I knew what to expect out of Emily. I knew what a day with her looked like, even if it did look the same almost every day. She wasn’t spontaneous, she didn’t make rash decisions, and I wasn’t scared that she would break my heart.
Was that a completely fucked up reason to marry someone? Sure. But she was my safety net.
And I loved her. I really did.
When I met Emily, I wasn’t in a good place. I was drinking all the time, partying more than I was working, and thinking about Livy every second of the day.
But then I saw Emily. She didn’t block Livy out of my mind completely, but she seemed a little fuzzier as each day passed. Then there were moments when I was with her, that I didn’t see Livy at all, and I felt like I could actually breathe.
But I couldn’t explain that shit to Brandon. He would call me a pussy and tell me that breathing wasn’t a good enough reason to marry someone.
But he had never suffocated before. And until you feel it, the loss of air, the panic crawling through your skin, the desperation to inhale just one more time, you could never understand what it was like.
Emily was breathing, and I would never take the easy push and pull for granted again.
Like when I walked in the door of Forbidden Ink, my shop, the place I had built with Brandon brick by brick, I could feel the lack of oxygen before I even saw her.
Forbidden Ink was my sanctuary. Tattooing, sketching, drawing, that was where I was one hundred percent at home. I could have a million things running through my head, but as soon as I put on some music and held a pencil or gun in my hand everything else melted away.
I was good at it. I wasn’t being cocky, it was my one thing in this world, and I fucking rocked it. Brandon was just as good. That’s why I went into business with him. We were two no-name apprentices who worked our asses off every single day. We bonded over our hard work and our artwork, and when it finally came time for us to do our own thing, we didn’t even consider doing it with anyone else.
Livy was sitting behind the front desk when I walked in the door. Her head was down and her brow was furrowed, it was the face she had always made when she was hard at work. When the door chimed, she looked up quickly, a smile replacing the frown, but as soon as she saw it was me instead of a customer, the smile fell again.
“Hey, Parker.” She looked back down at her paperwork in front of her. “What are you doing here?”
I would be lying if I said that it didn’t feel a little bit good to know that I had something over her. Or at least that I knew something she didn’t. Because she would be pissed when she found out.
Instead of answering her question, I asked one of my own. “Hey, Livy. How’s the first day going?”
“It’s good so far.” She nodded her head. “Brandon really hasn’t given me much to do yet though. He said he’s waiting until his partner gets here.” She pointed down at the pages in front of her. “I was just looking through some of their work. It’s phenomenal. Did you get yours done here?” She motioned toward the ink that marred my skin.
“Most of it, yeah.”
She nodded her head, but looked back down at the image in front of her. It was a drawing of mine. It was an anatomical heart, drawn in black and white. Intricate lines and shading. But half the heart was an explosion of colors, butterflies and flowers busting from the lines creating chaos and life.
Wild at heart. The title written below it.
It was one of my favorite drawings to date, but regardless of how many people asked for it, I always said no. I couldn’t seem to part with it.
“This one is amazing.” She took a deep breath and I held mine.
She turned the page over, looking for a signature I presumed, and I prayed she couldn’t read mine. “I want this.” She looked up at me. “Is that crazy? I just saw this and I want it tattooed on my body. Maybe working here wasn’t such a good idea.” She laughed softly, one of my favorite sounds in the world. “Do you think Brandon will tattoo this on me?”
I couldn’t lie to her, not about my art. “That’s not Brandon’s.” I pointed down at the page that I had spent countless hours drawing. “It’s…”
But before I could get the rest of the words out of my mouth, the door to the back of the shop busted open and Brandon walked through with a shit eating grin on his face.
“Oh good.” He rubbed his hands together. “I see you’ve finally met my partner.”
I watched her for her reaction, but it wasn’t quite what I was expecting. She closed her eyes, breathed through her nose, and her black fingernails gripped my drawing, creasing it a bit on the sides.
I expected her to scream at me, or hell, I don’t know, throw something. But she didn’t.
She opened her eyes and stared down at my drawing for a few more moments before she put it back in its place and closed the portfolio. Only then did she look up at me, and there was a flash of betrayal that always seemed to rest there when she looked at me.
“Brandon, can I talk to Parker alone for a minute?” She didn’t look at him when she spoke. She just stared directly at me.
“Sure.” I could
hear the laughter in his voice, but I didn’t dare look away from her.
When we heard the door shut again, she finally released a deep, shuddering breath, and it was as if I could feel it filling my own lungs. It was the deepest breath I had taken since she stole it so many years ago.
“I need this job, Parker.”
I nodded my head, but she wasn’t finished.
“I had no intentions of ever coming home, and I sure as hell didn’t plan on being anywhere near you.” That one stung, but I understood. I hadn’t planned on being around her either. “If you can be civil, so can I. I’ll do my job then I’ll go home. I won’t be in your hair or your business.”
“Livy, you don’t have to convince me. If you want the job, it’s yours. We’re completely different people than we used to be.” That was an almost truth. “We can be friends.”
I watched her wince. That same fucking line having left my mouth before, but this time I actually meant it. I was man enough to be able to work around her every day. Would it be difficult? Sure, but it wasn’t something I couldn’t handle.
I would just need to repeat that mantra in my head every day. I can handle this. I can handle this. I can handle this.
Because despite everything, the idea of being around her, of getting to know who she was now, it excited me more than I was willing to admit.
“Okay.” She nodded her head as if she was convincing herself. “Friends.”
“Friends,” I repeated the word. It tasted foreign on my tongue, but mixed with the intoxicating scent of her I could swallow anything.
P A R K E R
Four Years and Five and a half months earlier
I never really did plan things out. I just knew that I had to see her and there wasn’t any other option.
I guess there never really was.
Her brother had plans with some new girl he met the night before. I knew because he told me in sordid details how amazing her rack was and what he planned on doing to her tonight.
That was the thing about Mason. He was an amazing guy. The best guy I knew. My best friend. But he was also a bit of a manwhore. Tonight, I was thanking God for that.
Her mother wasn’t home when I pulled into the driveway, and I wasn’t surprised. I knocked on the door, which felt incredibly awkward since it may have been the first time I had knocked on their door in over ten years.
I could see her through the glass of the front door. Her hair was on top of her head in a messy bun, she was wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tank top, and a spoon was hanging out of her mouth, which probably had icing on it. She opened the door with her brow scrunched.
She pulled the spoon from her mouth, and just as I expected, I saw remnants of vanilla icing. “Did you just knock?” She looked at the door like maybe it was broken.
“Yes. I did. Would you like to go out with me, tonight?”
Her eyes widened at my question, and she looked so fucking adorable. I couldn’t stand not to touch her. I reached my hand out and wiped the icing off her bottom lip before tasting it on my own tongue.
She held her breath when my skin touched hers, but I watched her chest shudder when I put my finger in my mouth. It tasted like vanilla icing and something even sweeter, and I was dying to put my lips on her to chase it.
“I need to change.” She looked down at her clothes before she reached on the top of her head and felt her bun.
“Well hurry up. We have plans.”
She smiled at me. That fucking smile that made me feel weak in the knees before she took off running up the stairs to her room.
I had been in her house so many times, hell, I practically lived here some days, but I had never been here like this. I had never been here with her instead of her brother.
It felt weird, but it also felt good.
She got ready in record time. It wasn’t even ten minutes before she came back down the stairs dressed in a pair of cut-off jean shorts and a white top. Her hair was still on top of her head, but it looked much more orderly than it did before.
She looked like a dream.
A dream I had way too many times to count, and for the first time in my life, I truly felt nervous to go on a date with someone.
“You look beautiful.”
She smiled before tucking a nonexistent piece of hair behind her ear.
“Thanks. If I had known before, I would have dressed up or something.”
“You’re perfect, Livy.”
Her shoulders relaxed a small bit and one of her hands toyed with the loose strings of her shorts. I wanted to be the one to do it. I wanted to touch every piece of her body. I wanted to explore every part of her that no one else got to see.
“So, where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise.” And she was going to love it.
…
When the bright lights of the bar sign came into view, she looked at me, confused. When I opened the door for her, she hesitated.
“I’m not going to be able to get in here, Parker.”
“They don’t ID at the door. Come on.”
She grabbed my hand, climbing out of my truck, and we headed inside. It wasn’t necessarily a bar, per se, more of a karaoke bar.
As soon as the lyrics to some Carrie Underwood song hit our ears at an alarmingly horrible octave, Livy’s smile lit up her face.
I wanted to put that look on her face every single day.
“Are we going to sing?” She was already bouncing on her feet.
“Umm, no.” I shook my head as I pulled out her chair that had a tear across the seat. “You are going to sing while I watch you.”
“What?” She gave me a look that made my stomach tense up. “You have to sing with me, Parker. It will be so much fun.” She batted her eyelashes.
“It’s not happening.” I chuckled. She could try to persuade me all she wanted, but there was no way in hell that I was getting on that stage and singing in front of this group of strangers.
She let the idea drop as she started scrolling through the book looking for the perfect song to sing. She flipped the pages one by one, and her eyes roamed over all of her choices. Livy was always singing. In the car, at the lake, in her bedroom. She constantly had a song stuck in her head, and I think that most of the time she didn’t even realize she was singing out loud.
But she did.
And I fucking loved it.
When she found the song, she quickly wrote her selection on a strip of white paper before folding it up.
“What are you going to sing?” I asked, genuinely curious.
“It’s a surprise.” She mirrored my words from earlier.
“You’re really not going to tell me?”
“Nope,” the word popped out of her mouth, “and you can turn those puppy dog eyes to someone else because they’re not going to work.”
I reached out for her hand but she held her arm in the air, far away from me.
“Livy,” I smirked.
“Parker,” she mocked.
I reached for the paper again, but she was too quick. All I managed to do was press my body against hers as I reached behind her for the paper. She was giggling, her body shaking against mine.
“Please.” I looked down at her, her chest pressed against mine, her lips still in a perfect smile only a few inches away from mine.
“That’s not fair, Parker.” She put her hand on my chest, my heart racing beneath her touch.
“Life’s not fair, Livy.” I breathed out her name, but I couldn’t stand it anymore. I didn’t give a shit what was on that piece of paper. I just wanted to touch her, to feel her, to taste her.
I leaned in another inch, her breath warm against my lips, but before I could close the gap, she slipped out from beneath me and handed the paper to the DJ.
Her eyes were clouded over, but she looked so damn happy, I couldn’t even be mad at her for escaping me.
“You’re right, Parker.” She had her hand on her hip. “Life isn’t fair. You better
get ready to sing because it’s show time.” Her grin stretched so far across her face that her dimples popped out, and I wanted nothing more than to trace them with my tongue.
I opened my mouth to tell her there was no way in hell that I was getting on that stage, but I was interrupted by the DJ announcing our duet over the speakers.
I groaned and ran my hand down my face.
I didn’t climb on the stage because I wanted to. I climbed on the stage because she was covering her mouth to stifle her laugh, and I wanted to be the one to put that look on her face every day.
I would give anything.
I was expecting her to have picked some sappy song to embarrass the hell of me, but it wasn’t Livy’s style. Instead, “Closer” by The Chainsmokers started playing through the speakers as she shoved a microphone in my hand.
“I don’t know all the words,” I whispered in her ear.
“They come up across the screen.” She pointed to the little monitor in front of us, and I knew there was no way I was getting out of it.
So, I sang, and the more Livy got into it, so did I. She danced around the stage, singing the words without even glancing at the screen, and I watched her.
There was a small bead of sweat on the back of her neck that ran down her skin until it pooled against her shirt. She was on fire. Completely in her element, singing her heart out, and having a blast.
By the time we got off the stage, the bar was cheering, Livy was laughing, and I was falling so hard that I couldn’t see straight.
L I V
Present
I loved my job. Granted, I had only worked here for three days so far, but it was an awesome three days.
Brandon was quite possibly one of the funniest people I had ever met, Parker was keeping his distance, and I had a major girl crush on Staci.
Staci was the only other tattoo artist in the shop, and she was by far the coolest chick I knew. Her hair was jet black and stick straight, and her creamy white skin was covered in bright, colorful tattoos.
She booked appointments nonstop, they all did actually, but she had a male clientele that didn’t stop, and I couldn’t blame them. She was gorgeous.