Master Bits & Mercenary Bites (Masters and Mercenaries)

by Lexi Blake

  What he thought was that she should stay in bed and rest, but he wasn’t going to mention that either. Charlie was two weeks away from delivery and she got weepy at almost everything. He just wanted to make her smile.

  This pregnancy had been harder on her than the twins. She’d breezed through Kenzie and Kala, but she’d struggled with morning sickness this time around. She blamed it on all men, since according to all the sonograms, she was carrying his son.

  Charlie made her way to the two highchairs that sat side by side. His girls were sitting together, happily munching on their pancakes. Kala was using her fork and carefully picking up the small squares he’d made of the pancakes. Kenzie’s fork was on the floor, but it didn’t matter to his baby girl. She shoved that food in after mashing it with her delicate fingers.

  Kala was careful. Kenzie was vibrant and bright. He wasn’t sure how they’d managed it, but somehow the twins had mirrored their parents’ personalities.

  One day Kala would be a deadly assassin. Kenzie likely would be, too, but she would do it all with a sunny smile on her face.

  “I wanted to walk a bit,” Charlie said as she leaned over to kiss Kala’s head. “My lower back is tight.”

  This was the part he hated. He loved her being pregnant, adored putting his hand on her belly and feeling their child moving underneath. He loved the way she would cuddle against him, and that amazing second trimester when she couldn’t get enough sex.

  He hated the part where she was in pain and he couldn’t take it for her.

  “After breakfast, I’ll rub it for you. I’ve got a bit of time before I have to be at the office.” He would wait on her hand and foot for the next several weeks. This was his last week at the office for a while. He’d cleared his schedule at work so he could take a few weeks paternity leave. He would clean and cook and take care of the girls so Charlie could focus on their son and bonding and healing.

  She smiled, her lips curling up in a saucy grin. “I bet I know exactly what you’ll rub it with.”

  “Daddy, berry.” Kala pointed toward the bowl of blueberries he’d washed.

  Kenzie nodded her head, syrup clinging to her cheek. “Berry! Berry!”

  Yeah, they loved to tag team Dad. He grabbed the bowl and poured some onto each of their plates. Kala started spearing them one by one. Kenzie grabbed them up in her grubby paw and shoved a bunch in her mouth. She grinned at him, drooling blueberry down her chin. He grabbed the wipes Charlie left everywhere and quickly mopped Kenzie up. Not that it mattered since she quickly replaced the blueberry drool with syrup.

  He looked back up at his wife. “I’ll take anything you’re in the mood to give, baby. You want some of me, it’s yours.”

  In the past, he would have told her if she wanted a little cock, he could give it to her. Though not in the little way. She would have to take a big cock if she wanted his.

  Then his daughters had said the word cock over and over again at day care and he’d started to be a bit more subtle.

  Charlie ran her hand over Kenzie’s head. “Hey, it worked the last time. Maybe we should. Why don’t you call up Sean and Grace and see if we can get some alone time? I’m ready to bust this baby boy out of womb prison.”

  The last time they’d had sex when she was this pregnant, she’d given birth roughly twelve hours later.

  He loved his girls, wanted his son more than anything, but nothing on earth scared him more than Charlie in labor.

  “You’ve got two more weeks.” He knew she wanted to give birth, but he also knew she wanted to give their son the best chance he could have. It was his worst fear. Losing Charlie. Losing their baby. He dreamed about it at night and woke up in a cold sweat. “And Sean’s out of town for a few days. He’s filming in LA and Grace went with him. Case is in Austin with Mia. That leaves Theo. I’m worried Theo still doesn’t remember he’s human, much less how to handle a couple of baby girls.”

  He plated her pancakes and used tongs to grab a few pieces of bacon for her. It was odd. He found cooking soothing. He would never have guessed it, never had any interest in it before his Charlie had come back from the dead, but now he enjoyed it. Shortly after they’d gotten back together and his house had felt like a home, he’d asked Sean for a few lessons. Nothing major. He just wanted to know how to make her some meals. Charlie took such good care of him. She’d learned all his favorite foods and made sure he was satisfied. He wanted to take some of the burden off her. She still handled most of their meals, but he could step in when he needed to.

  His family. He needed to be able to take care of them, and not just in a financial way. Charlie should know if she was tired, he would step up. His girls should see their father always supporting and loving them.

  Maybe it would make them less likely to end up with some asswipe he would have to assassinate. He already had contingency plans for that scenario. They involved a lot of blood loss for the other man.

  Charlie took the plate and hoisted herself up to the barstool at the breakfast bar. “I love the fact that I can turn on the TV and see Sean cooking. It’s really fun. Can I get some decaf?”

  He turned to the single cup maker and started her selection. His brother was becoming a real star in the culinary world. It made him damn proud. Sean had followed his dream. He’d only found the real strength and courage to do that when he’d met Grace Hawthorne all those years ago. At the time he’d thought she was bad for him. Now he would do absolutely anything for his sister-in-law. She’d supported Sean while he’d studied, given him everything he needed to make his dreams come true.

  He grabbed the coffee and placed it in front of Charlie. “I want you to rest today. I’ll take the girls into work with me. You stay here and watch some TV or something. I could call Chelsea.”

  Charlie’s eyes rolled. “She’s a horrible bed rest companion. She only wants to watch the news, and she makes fun of them for being wrong about political stuff. She makes all kinds of snarky comments, but then she won’t tell me what she means by it because it’s classified or some bullshit. It’s awful. And don’t bring in Phoebe. I’ve seen Harry Potter twenty times. Eve feels the need to psychoanalyze every single character in my shows. We had a violent argument about Cookie Lyon. She’s a goddamn saint, I tell you. Erin fidgets too much and Serena barely looks up from her computer. I need Grace. She’ll watch all my shows and talk about them.”

  “I can stay home.” The thought of watching a long run of Empire or Grey’s Anatomy kind of made him want to vomit, but he could handle it. Somehow. Maybe he could sneak some Scotch in.

  Charlie laughed as she picked up the coffee mug. “Oh, you’re the worst to watch TV with. Never, mister. You only ever want to watch sports or war movies, and you criticize the shit out of the latter.”

  Kenzie looked up at him, her blue eyes gleaming. “Shit.”

  He sighed. “No, baby. That’s a Mommy and Daddy word.”

  “Daddy shit,” Kala said with one of her infrequent grins.

  He glared at his wife. “I’m not taking the blame for this one. This one is all you, you know that, right?”

  “Because I’m the only one with a potty mouth? They’re fixated on Daddy, not Mommy.” Charlie was sending him a righteous smile. She took a sip of her coffee and sat back, her food untouched.

  She was so stunning. He leaned over the bar, reaching for her hand. “You’re the one with bad taste in lovers. You decided to toss out that birth control. I think those two hooligans are your fault. After all, I’m the clean-cut former Green Beret and you’re the Russian mobster.”

  She flushed a delicate pink. “You know how to hit a girl where it hurts, Taggart.”

  He moved around the island. “Hey, I happen to find bad girls incredibly sexy.”

  She glanced up at him. “I don’t feel like a bad girl right now. I feel like a bloated whale.”

  He slid a hand over her belly. “You look good enough to eat.” He leaned over because the last thing he needed was his baby girls learn
ing how to dirty talk. “You want me to eat you up? Because I can be late.”

  Work could wait. He would spend the whole day worried about her if he went into the office. He wouldn’t get a thing done. Liam could handle the office. It was quiet right now anyway. Simon and Jesse were on an assignment in New York. Alex was on paternity leave of his own. He and Eve had recently adopted their second child. Jake and Adam were working up the nerve to tell him they would be leaving soon.

  Like he hadn’t figured that out already.

  Charlie winced and set her mug down. “Help me up. I swear this kid weighs more than his sisters. If I give birth to a twelve-pound baby, we’re having such a talk. Hey, Bud. Has Daddy already taken you out this morning?”

  He sighed at the massive mutt currently occupying his hallway. He wasn’t sure what it was. Part St. Bernard and part horse, maybe. It had been hoisted off on him six months before when Charlie had insisted that a sweet puppy would be good for the girls. They’d toured a shelter and Charlie had been given the sob story about a poor puppy who would have to be put down soon if no one wanted him. He was such a tiny guy. The runt of the litter. She’d come home with the tiny guy cradled in one hand.

  Six months later the fucker weighed sixty-five pounds and the girls could ride him. And it wasn’t finished growing.

  He fit his name. Big Ugly Dog.

  The trouble was he was a sweet mutt and the girls adored him.

  “Bud!” Kala grinned as the dog approached.

  Kenzie held out a hand. A grubby, food-caked hand.

  Yeah, that was when Bud started to lick her. Kenzie giggled and he barely managed to catch her before she put that hand right back in her mouth.

  There weren’t enough wipes in the world to clean that mutt’s bacteria.

  “I promise I’ll take the hell hound out before I leave.” He stared down at the dog, whose tongue lolled out as he watched with completely worshipful, vacant eyes. “If you piss on my shoes again, dog, we’re going to have a serious problem. And we have to talk about why you vomit in front of my damn chair.”

  Charlie moved to Bud’s side. “You know that’s actually a way of showing his affection.”

  “I don’t feel affectionate, Charlie. That damn dog doesn’t know when to stop.”

  Bud’s tail thumped.

  Kala looked up and said, “Piss.”

  Ian closed his eyes, seeking out something he’d never had to before. Patience. In the past, if something annoyed him, he tended to murder it. Oh, maybe not in a literal sense, but he certainly could make said annoyance’s life hell. Now he loved the people who annoyed him.

  Except for the dog.

  “Baby, stop mimicking your daddy,” Charlie said with a smile. “You’re going to end up scaring off all the boys. Ian, he really needs to go.”

  Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. He definitely liked the idea of scaring off all the dudes who couldn’t handle a strong female presence.

  Ian went to grab the dog’s leash. Bud started up his pee-pee dance, his massive body twisting and turning as he ran after Ian. His big paws thudded against the brand new hardwood he would never have spent that god-awful amount of money on had he realized a dog would pee on it.

  He looked back Charlie’s way. “You know there’s a whole forest out back for him to go in. He should be a free-range dog. Aren’t we taking away his dogness by putting him on a leash?”

  Charlie frowned his way as she refilled Kenzie’s cup. “Yes, he’s the mighty wolf dog, Ian. I watched him run away from a bunny the other day.”

  He grabbed the leash. “See, if he had to go out and hunt, he wouldn’t be such a shitty guard dog. Don’t even say it, you two. Say good words. Not Daddy words.”

  Charlie put a hand to her belly. “I swear this one will come out giving the world the finger and cursing.”

  Bud whined, running back and forth in front of the door. Ian sighed and attached the leash. He stepped outside and Bud took off, barking and jumping against the leash until he managed to drag Ian out onto the lawn where he immediately squatted in the middle of Charlie’s azaleas and started to take a crap.

  Yep. This was his life. Watching the dog crap. He was so building a fence. “You know you were supposed to be a guard dog. You were supposed to be a raging, feral beast who would take out anything in your way.”

  Sort of like Ian had been at one time.

  He’d been the bane of intelligence agencies. He’d been Dr. Death, raining down justice and protecting America.

  Now he was a dumbass with a mortgage, a dog who seemed to be a bit constipated, two tiny chaotic things, and another on the way. No one even let him kill people anymore.

  It was a never-ending cycle of waking up in the morning and seeing their faces, taking care of them, going to work, coming home, and going to bed with his wife.

  It was kind of fucking awesome.

  Sure, his younger self would likely tell him he’d sold out and he was a pathetic version of himself, but his younger self had been stupid as shit. His younger self thought a great time was following a known terrorist around for three weeks so he could find the cell. His younger self had needed a freaking shower, some decent food, and a comfy bed.

  And a dog who didn’t take his time with the poop.

  “Come on, Bud. Pinch off, man. We’ve got shit to do today.” Well, he did anyway. He was sure Bud would have a full day of licking his private parts and waiting for the girls to drop food. Bud seemed forever optimistic that one of these days the girls or Charlie was going to drop a ham in front of him.

  A butterfly landed on the bush next to Bud and that was when he went into protective mode. He barked, the deep sound threatening to anyone who didn’t know what a wuss he was, and he pulled hard at his leash.

  Hard enough to make Ian stumble and damn near break his toe on the garden gnome Alex had left as a joke. Hard enough to send Ian crashing down to his knee, pain flaring and making him curse.

  Bud twisted again and Ian tripped over the riding ladybug thing Kala liked to push around the yard. He landed flat on his back, looking up at the sky.

  Taken down by a freaking ladybug. And his back was spasming. The pain flared through him and he could feel his lower back seizing like a motherfucker.

  Bud suddenly blocked out the sky, his big doggie face staring down.

  “Don’t you dare.”

  It was too late. Bud licked his face and Ian realized he shouldn’t have gotten up that morning. Nope. He should have stayed in bed and then he would be warm and happy and not having his face licked by a gargantuan mass of body odor and a tongue that licked its own ass from time to time.

  God, if he didn’t die from breaking his spine he was going to catch some dog disease and waste away. Right here. Because he wasn’t sure he could move. “Bud, I need you to go get Charlie. Go on. Run and get her.” He let the leash drop. Bud simply sat down beside him. “Go get Charlie, boy. I think she’s got a ham for you. Go on.”

  Bud laid his big head down on Ian’s chest.

  Now he had a sleeping mutt and a garden gnome that was practically up his ass. He could feel the pointy cap thing attempting to violate him.

  “Ian? Ian, I need you.”

  Thank god. His wife would laugh her ass off, but at least she would be able to maybe help him up.

  “Ian, I think the baby’s coming.”

  Yep. It was that kind of day.

  “I wish you would let me call the ambulance.” He pulled out the small suitcase Charlie had told him would serve to carry everything she would need for her stay. One week later and it would have been packed and ready to go, but no. Baby boy didn’t want to wait for Mommy to be ready or Daddy to be able to move without agonizing back pain.

  He must have slipped a disc or something. Damn he was getting old, but he was still Ian Taggart. He was the man who’d taken two bullets in Kabul and still managed to rescue his unit, gather the needed intel, and perform admirably when he needed to seduce his way out of a prison
hospital. He wasn’t going to let a few muscle spasms hold him back.

  Charlie shook her head. “It’s quicker to drive. You know how long they’ll take and they won’t go to the right hospital. I want Presbyterian and I want Dr. Bates. The contractions are still nine minutes apart. We have time. My water hasn’t even broken yet. Don’t you dare forget to pack a couple of bras, Ian Taggart. This is not the club and I need those bras.”

  He personally thought she looked better without them, but he knew that tone in her voice.

  He shoved a couple of bras in and zipped the case. He bit back a groan as he stood up. He had other problems and they mostly had to do with the fact that that his family was almost all out of town or at the office, and he’d chosen a house far from the city. He loved the peace and quiet of having his own small slice of the country, but it meant there was next to no one out here who could take care of the girls.

  His wife wasn’t going to like the only option he’d found, but then if she didn’t want to take it, she shouldn’t have gone into labor. She should have waited for Sean to get back.

  Charlie paced, her hand on her lower back. She’d been perfectly calm the whole time. She’d gotten the girls’ stuff together. That had been easy since all she’d had to do was add an extra pair of clothes to their day care bags. She’d put up her hair and rounded up her purse, but the suitcase had been stuffed in the upper reaches of the closet. Otherwise she likely would have packed for herself and not bothered to come find his injured ass until she needed him to drive.

  That’s what he got for marrying a warrior woman.

  “Are you sure you’re okay?” Charlie asked. “I’ve got some liniment I could rub into your back. Poor Bud seems a little freaked out by the experience.”

  “Poor Bud? That bigass ball of chaos is why I’ve blown at least two discs.”

  Charlie leaned over and patted the dog. “Poor baby. Daddy scared you.”

  Daddy was going to scare him. Damn it. She was so calm and he was a freaking wreck. He’d been through whole wars and not worried as much as he did about getting one woman to the hospital.