“Would you rather she wasn’t there?” I ask instead.
“No offence to your mom, it was a little strange to have my wife and a woman I slept with once over two decades ago sitting at the same table, women whom both have my children. I would rather have been anywhere but there.”
I can’t stop myself, I burst out laughing. It breaks the last piece of ice between us. He was right yesterday, I can see my mannerisms and sarcasm in him too. I used to wonder what characteristics I got from my dad when I was old enough to realise I was nothing like Lily.
“I’m glad we were up here hiding in a mountain, it would’ve given me anxiety if I had to be there.”
This makes him smile and then it is replaced with a deep frown.
“How are you doing, mentally?”
I snort, but I like his direct approach.
“I’m doing good, it helps being here and JJ is great.”
“That’s real good.”
He must not know what else to ask, it goes quiet between us and besides the dying question, I ask the next one that has been burning the tip of my tongue.
“Do you really want us coming back with you? I get that you might be saying it to be nice, but…”
“First off, I don’t say shit I don’t mean. You’ll get to know that real fast. And secondly, yes, I do want you back in Willows Peak. You and JJ will come home with us.”
So matter of fact, I daren’t argue with him. The door opens and it’s a guessing game who will walk out. It turns out to be Alannah. Her relief when she sees Cas is priceless. There’s one thing you can’t deny about these two, they love the shit out of each other, that’s for sure.
I think he tries to hide it, but I catch Cas nod my way subtly and Alannah turns around, crossing her arms across her chest, not prepared for the cold one bit.
“Oh, good morning, Harper,” she smiles.
I’m pretty sure her smile is genuine and kind. She has this ability to pull you in and make you feel all warm and welcome, but I know she’s also a master at making you feel worthless and she can do it with just one look. I’ve felt it myself.
“Good morning,” I smile back, but mine isn’t as wide as hers.
“It’s so cold up here, Cas warned us, but I didn’t believe him,” she says.
“You get used to it very quickly.”
You have no choice, it’s unrelenting.
“I imagine you do.”
And then it happens.
The awkward silence threads us together heavily and hangs around our necks.
I drain the last of my coffee that is now cold and cringe as it runs down my throat. I realise I don’t mind talking with Cas. Or my dad, I should say.
“Would you like to join me in town today, you can show me around before we leave?”
It takes a beat before it clicks she’s talking to me. I push myself to respond without leaving a beat for her to think I don’t want to spend time with her.
“Sure, although, I think we have to ask Jacob if we want to go into town?” I tell her, my face scrunching up in confusion. I have no idea about the dynamics of this place, but I have heard about Jacob. It’s easier to stay on the mountain and find myself. Anything I’ve needed the brothers here fetch it or JJ brings it back when he goes off with the club.
“Who the fuck is Jacob?” Cas grunts, not looking happy.
“Some old guy in town, from what I’ve heard, the club stays out of town and if they need to go there, they have to clear it with Jacob.”
“Is that so?”
I nod, thinking he would’ve known about this. He pulls himself up to his feet and it takes a lot out of him.
Alannah flinches, holding herself back from offering him her help and I stand too.
“I think I need to speak with Gabe, hopefully the fucker is up.”
Alannah follows him inside and I follow close behind.
“What’s this I hear about some old fucker in town deciding where and when we can go down into town?”
Alannah takes hold of my hand and keeps us by the bar as Cas walks over to Gabe sitting by the fire. Gabe is usually the first one down if I’m not. He sits while inhaling his coffee and chain smokes his cigarettes. It takes him an hour to wake up solidly, I guess that’s part of getting old and partying too hard the night before.
He casts his eyes over at me before settling back on Cas.
“Shit,” I sigh.
“Don’t worry about him, Cas had a right to know,” Alannah says quietly.
“He’s someone we have an arrangement with to keep the peace,” Gabe answers Cas.
“Town Sheriff?” he asks further.
“Nah, nothing like that, but he’s the mayor of some sorts.”
“I don’t deal with some sorts, he either is the mayor or he’s not. Why is he laying down the law with you, better question, why are you allowing him to?”
A stagnant moment passes between the two men and while Alannah doesn’t seem bothered, I can sense the tension building and I watch in fearful fascination. Gabe has been good to me and JJ and Cas is my dad, who the hell do I root for?
“Some shit went down years ago, we don’t cause trouble in town and they don’t keep calling the cops on us, it’s worked for too long to be disrupted.”
“That may be, but I don’t like the sound of someone telling us where we can and can’t go. What happened to bring such a truce?” I don’t know why but I wasn’t expecting Gabe to tell him, he’s being shady, even I can see it.
“A girl got herself in trouble, we got the blame and we dealt with it.”
A darkness falls over Cas and I don’t realise I’m moving forward until Alannah grips onto my arm again.
“Stay back,” she whispers.
“He looks angry,” I whisper back.
“Because he is, Gabe is being shady on purpose.”
“He’s the president up here, does he have to tell Cas everything?”
She looks at me and tilts her head, she smiles softly and tucks my hair behind my ear. It’s such a motherly, kind, act to do, it nearly knocks me off my feet.
“Honey, your dad isn’t just the president over the Willows Peak chapter, he’s the president over all chapters. He’s top of the food chain, so when he asks Gabe what’s going on, he expects truthful answers.”
It hits me how powerful Cas is and I see him in a new light. I’ve seen how the brothers respect him back in Willows Peak. Now I’m seeing him cast his power over Gabe and how Gabe is shrinking before him.
“Go and get dressed, let JJ know we’re going into town and I’ll meet you outside in thirty minutes.”
I slip away unnoticed and head upstairs. JJ is still asleep, and I quietly run the shower and grab clean clothes from the drawers.
Today should be interesting. I woke up yesterday fretting about a pregnancy that never came to anything and this morning I woke up to have a conversation with my dad. It’s fucking surreal.
JJ stays asleep while I wash and dress. He snores softly as I sit at the small chest of drawers that I use as a dresser and apply my makeup and dry my hair. The guy could literally sleep through anything.
Once I’m satisfied I look okay, I unplug my flatiron and make sure it’s not near anything that will cause a fire and look over my shoulder. JJ is still sleeping. I slip into my boots and wrap a scarf loosely around my neck.
I climb on the bed and watch as he sweeps his arm around, searching for me. He lifts his head, and then struggles to open his eyes looking for me and then relaxes when he sees me sitting on the edge.
“Hey, wake up,” I urge him.
He rolls onto his side and wakes up properly, taking me in.
“You look nice. Why are you dressed? It’s too early.”
His voice is thick with sleep and I love the raw deepness of him.
“It’s not that early, and I’m going into town with Alannah.”
His eyebrows raise, and he reaches over for my hand.
“Just the two of you?”<
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I nod and release the last shred of nerves about the impending trip.
“Yes, it’ll be good for us. I think.”
“Don’t think too much, it will be good for you to get to know her. Make sure you take your phone and let your guard down with her for a while. She really isn’t your enemy.”
He tugs on my hand and my body has no choice but to fly towards him. A small chuckle escapes from me before he shuts it down with his lips on mine. It’s ever so brief and then I’m being held against him.
“Maybe we should run away and then I won’t have to share you.”
“You never have to share me,” I promise him. “Besides, I’m sure you’ve got things to sort out today and you can catch up with Leo while I’m gone.”
“Yeah,” he groans and rolls onto his back releasing me from his hold. I take advantage and sit back up and scoot to the edge.
“I’m not sure how long we’ll be, so I’ll see you later.”
I jump off the bed before he can reach out for me again and laugh as I head out the door.
Taking a deep breath, I prepare myself for a day with a woman who I still don’t believe doesn’t hate me.
Harper
My adrenaline was rushing before we left the clubhouse, now we’re alone and nothing but the quiet hum of the SUV purrs around us, my heart rate begins to slow.
“You said back at the clubhouse that Cas is the president over all of the Lost Souls.”
“I did.”
Concentrating on the road and keeping my pulse steady, I push on with my questions.
“What happens to the club if he dies? What happens to all the clubs?”
She stays quiet for a beat and I nearly regret asking. I must remember she could lose her husband who she has known for years, her relationship is nowhere as fucked up as mine is with him.
“Our chapter will appoint a new president if Cas dies, which will be Leo, who he has been training up ready if he’s needed. It’s a family tradition. The other clubs wouldn’t be affected really. But, Cas isn’t going to die, he’s a fighter and a survivor.”
“Family tradition? What if Luca and Leo don’t have sons?”
“Then we’ll hope you do.”
I don’t know if she’s joking or being serious and it’s scaring the fucking hell out of me.
“It won’t be me, I don’t plan on having kids.”
I keep my eyes on the road, but I can feel her shock.
“Not at all?”
“Nope.”
“How does JJ feel about that?”
“He’s fine about it, he doesn’t want them either. You best hope Leo and Luca have a son.”
“That’s pretty sad, Harper.”
Why is it sad? It’s nothing to do with her, my choice to have children or not does not affect her life what so ever.
“Not after everything I’ve been through, the pressure of a child’s safety and upbringing, I can barely deal with my life. I tried to freaking kill myself last year, I would hardly be mother material.”
It goes quiet between us as I would have expected, and she doesn’t push me further for the rest of the ride into town.
I park up outside the town’s bank and shut off the engine.
“Are you really fine having me around?” I blurt out before she opens her door. It’s the only question I’ve been dying to ask her since they arrived.
Cas says she is, but I need to hear it from her. I need to see her face and see her reaction for myself to see if she’s really fine with me or carrying on for Cas.
“Yes, I really am. Do you not believe me?”
“I suppose I don’t understand how you can be so cool about me, I’m a constant reminder of who Cas was with for a night.”
A soft chuckle escapes her mouth and she graces me with an angelic stare that almost makes me regret asking.
“If you want the truth, I wasn’t fine at first. I realised I wasn’t the only mother of his children anymore. Every first he had with Leo should’ve been with you and when that truly sunk in, I felt sorry for you. I know Cas better than anyone, better than his brothers and his sons, he never would’ve found peace again if he didn’t make amends with you. If you let him, he’ll be a good dad to you.”
“I reckon I’m too old for a dad now,” I snort, embarrassedly.
She reaches over and holds my hand. Her touch is foreign and yet, it feels normal.
“A girl is never too old to have a dad around, trust me, I’m creeping on fifty and I would give anything to see my dad again.”
I can almost hear her heart crying for her father and it feels like a mile-wide gap between us when she pulls her hand back.
She throws open the door and jumps down. Droplets of rain begin to fall as we cross the street and enter the café. The door pings overhead and Alannah is quick to get out of the cold. She slides into a booth and I follow suit and pick up the menu. Now I’m here and can smell the bacon, I’m starved.
“Give us a chance, Harper. Having more family around is never a bad thing, especially when it’s one like mine.” She winks playfully as a waitress walks over to take our order.
“Hi, what can I get for you two today?”
“Hi, we’ll have two coffees and I’ll take two eggs with two bacon and two toast, please.”
“And what would you like?” the waitress asks me.
“I’ll have the same,” I smile.
“Where are you two from? I know everyone around here and I would’ve definitely remembered you both.”
“We’re here for a few days visiting family.”
I watch Alannah lie with such fluidity and grace, it makes me wonder if she has lied to me. She spoke to me in this way on the drive here, was she lying then too?
“Like I said, I know everyone. Who are you visiting?”
“My husband’s brothers at the Lost Souls clubhouse.”
She speaks with a smile on her face but with a tight, don’t-fuck-with-me tone that has the waitresses back up straight away.
“You should’ve stayed on the mountain; the Lost Souls don’t come down here.”
How creepy is she being? She hovers at our table and I wish she would step back. Alannah isn’t fazed by her and maintains her tight composure.
“We’re hungry and we have good money to spend, and I would like you to give my order to the cook.”
The waitress, young and holding her ground, sneaks a look over her shoulder and returns to looking at us with a tight smile.
“Look, I’m not supposed to serve anyone who has anything to do with them bikers, and I’m not scared of them, so why don’t you go and get back in your car and drive back up the mountain?”
“Maybe we should leave,” I murmur, realising we’re catching the attention of everyone else here.
“I’ll get back in my car when I’ve had something to eat, or I can call my husband? It’s your choice, but if he has to drag his ass down here, he’ll burn the place down to the ground.”
I don’t think threats will help and I pull my phone out of my pocket, not intending on calling anyone, but the waitress starts to back off.
“You heard her, and now the other one is making a call,” she shrieks.
What the fuck is wrong in this town? The other customers are half scared, and half disgusted by us and this waitress is playing on their fear. I haven’t heard of any trouble between the club and people in town while I’ve been here, they can’t be that scared.
“Alannah, seriously, we should go.”
No one moves or says a word as we slip out of the both and walk outside. Over my shoulder, I catch the patrons moving to watch us, making sure we’re leave.
“Let’s go back to the clubhouse,” she says, as we head for the car like there is somewhere else we can go.
Not just anger, but pure rage pours from her in waves and I open the window once we’re in the safety of the car, so it doesn’t make me dizzy.
So much for our bonding time together in town.
I shrug my shoulders and back out of my space onto the road.
“This is my first time in town during the day. Our first night here JJ took me to the church, but it was after midnight.”
“That must have been romantic,” she sighs, using me to distract herself.
“It sounds more romantic than it was, but it was perfect to us. He paid the priest off to marry us and Gabe and his old lady were our witnesses.”
It goes quiet and I focus on the road and leave her to her thoughts whirling around in her rage, although, I’m certain it’s gone down a few notches.
She throws open the door before I come to a full stop at the clubhouse and I’m quick to follow when she stops and waits for me.
“I’m sorry our time was cut short, but what just happened in town has to be dealt with,” she tells me, and we head inside.
“You’re back so soon?” Cas asks, frowning when we join him at his table where he sits alone. JJ and Leo are huddled in the corner by the bar and haven’t noticed me yet. I tune back into Alannah filling Cas in on our trip and sit quietly. “Seriously, babe. It was fucking weird. Whoever this Jacob is, he has them all under his thumb. The Lost Souls are pussies up here.”
His eyes narrow and his jaw ticks as he listens to Alannah recount our time in town and the more he hears, the less he is impressed.
“I think I want to meet this Jacob, I don’t feel comfortable leaving with all this crap going on.”
“It could start a shit storm. Gabe and the brothers seem content to stay up here and do their dealings around the town.”
I listen to them chat back and forth and then I catch JJ and Leo still talking in the corner. I go to stand when Cas turns his attention on me.
“We’re going out for dinner tonight, a family fuckin’ meal at one of the restaurants in town. Tell JJ, we’re leaving at seven.”
“Is that really a good idea?” Alannah asks him.
“Yeah, it might draw this Jacob out and I can ask him myself what the hell is going on.”
Great. Dinner sounds like it’s going to be a blast. My first family dinner and it’s going to be club business, and highly possible a fight. Within five steps, it strikes me that it wouldn’t upset me if it did, this is my family, and this is what Leo and Luca would’ve had to grow up around, now I am too.
Her Crazy Life: Sons of Lost Souls MC Novella 3.5 Page 5