Waiting for Love

by Marie Force

  “I don’t mean to make it all about me. I know it was awful for you, too.”

  “My awful was nowhere near as awful as yours. You don’t always have to be strong for me and everyone else, you know?”

  “I don’t?” he asked with a small, teasing smile that was far more in keeping with her Mac than the grim countenance he’d sported in the last week.

  “No, you don’t. Sometimes you can let me carry the burden for you.”

  “You just did, baby.” He kissed her softly and sweetly. “Thank you.”

  Maddie gathered him in close again, bringing his head to rest on her chest. “Close your eyes and try to rest for a while.”

  “I have to go back to work.”

  She reached for his belt where he clipped his cell phone so it wouldn’t fall into the water when he was working.

  “What’re you doing?” he asked when she placed a call.

  “Hi, Luke, it’s Maddie. Mac is taking the afternoon off. I wanted to let you know.”

  Her husband pinched her rear, making her smile.

  “Everything okay?” Luke asked.

  “It’s going to be.”

  “Right. Well, tell him not to worry. I’ve got it covered here.”

  “Thanks, Luke. He’ll see you in the morning.” She ended the call and tossed the phone onto the bed behind Mac. “He said to tell you he’s got it covered. Not to worry.”

  “You’re being very bossy, sweetheart.”

  “I know. Now close your eyes and rest. I’ve got you.”

  A sigh shuddered through his big frame as he relaxed into her embrace.

  Relieved to have taken the first step in what would probably be a long healing process, Maddie closed her eyes, too. They were both exhausted and overwrought. The sleep would do them good.

  Chapter 5

  After lunch, Adam borrowed his dad’s truck and set out to find Evan’s new studio. Following his father’s directions, he drove past the Southeast Light to a parcel of land that their friend Ned Saunders owned. Adam nearly drove by the driveway that was hidden by an overgrowth of brush.

  On the way down the dirt driveway, he wondered if the brush was scratching the shit out of his dad’s truck and how much grief he’d get from Big Mac if it was. Oh well, he thought. He could blame it on Evan’s crappy landscaping. Getting Evan into trouble had once been Adam’s primary goal in life. Some things never changed.

  At the end of the driveway sat an enormous cedar-shingled barn. A beat-up truck and the old motorcycle he’d recognize anywhere as his brother Mac’s were parked outside. Adam followed the music inside to a large room that smelled of freshly cut wood and new paint. Microphone stands, amplifiers, cords galore and other equipment was scattered about the space.

  Through a pane of glass, Adam could see Evan. He was sitting down while another guy leaned over him, pointing and talking with his hands as loud music pounded through the space.

  Though he hated to interrupt them, Adam had come a long way to see his brothers. Adam waited until Evan looked up and waved at him through the window.

  Evan’s eyes widened with what might’ve been pleasure. He said something to the other man and then removed a headset from around his neck as he stood. He came bounding down a small set of stairs to the main studio where he hugged Adam.

  “What’re you doing here?” he said, speaking loudly over the music.

  “Came to see you and your brothers. Heard you got into a bit of a scrape and wanted to see for myself that you’re doing okay.”

  “I’m fine, Mac’s fine. Grant’s being weird, but he’s always weird.” Evan said what he thought Adam wanted to hear, but his eyes told a different story. He was exhausted, wired, disheveled, but doing his damndest to sell the all’s-well theme. “How are you?”

  “Better now that I’ve seen you.”

  “Awww, don’t tell me you care.”

  Adam shrugged. “Not about you. Just about Mac and Grant.”

  “Oh good. I was worried for a minute there.”

  He and Evan had fought like tomcats growing up and continued to enjoy a vicious wrestling match whenever possible, but there was nothing they wouldn’t do for each other, including lie to each other’s faces when necessary.

  “Got a minute to show me around?”

  “Just. We’ve got a ton of work to do before our first artists begin to arrive next week.”

  “I won’t keep you long.”

  “Come and meet Josh, my sound engineer. I talked him into moving here from Nashville to work with me. He’s showing me the basics on the board.”

  Adam followed Evan up the stairs to the sound booth where he met Josh Harrelson, another victim of the Starlight Records bankruptcy that had taken Evan’s debut album down with it.

  “Josh, my brother, Adam, here from the Big Apple.”

  Josh shook Adam’s hand. “How many brothers do you have, man?”

  “He’s the last one,” Evan said, laughing. “Lots of cousins, though. I’m going to give Adam a quick tour. I’ll be right back.”

  “Take your time,” Josh said. “I’ve got plenty to do.”

  Evan walked Adam through three studios on the first floor. “We’ve got soundproofed walls so we can run three sessions simultaneously. Back here is my office, not that I’m ever in here. Oh, hey, check out the logos we came up with.” He held up a board with three different renditions of the Island Breeze Records logo. “Any preferences?”

  “I like the one that has the island in the backdrop and the surfboard.”

  “I do, too. I think we’re going to go with that one.”

  “I meant to tell you—you need to cut back the brush on the driveway. This place is hard to find.”

  “I’ve got Alex Martinez coming to do that this week. Remember AM?”

  “Sure, his brother PM was in my class.”

  Adam recalled that the brothers’ nicknames had come from one being a morning person and the other a night owl. “I thought Alex had moved off-island to work at the National Conservatory.”

  “He did, but he came home when his mom got sick.”

  “What’s wrong with his mom?”

  “Alzheimer’s.”

  Adam followed Evan up the stairs. “Oh, shit. That sucks.”

  “Big-time. I guess Paul needed help running the business and taking care of her, so Alex quit his job and moved home.”

  Adam felt for the guy. It must’ve been a bitter pill to go from working at the National Conservatory to cutting grass again for his family’s landscaping business. He knew a little bit about bitter pills himself these days.

  “Is mom having a big dinner for you tonight?”

  “So I’m told.”

  “I may not make it, but I’m sure Grace will be there.”

  “How are things with you guys?”

  “Couldn’t be better.”

  Evan showed him the four bedrooms and two bathrooms they’d installed upstairs for the artists who’d be coming to the island to record at the studio. “We’re booked through the summer and into October.”

  “That’s great, Ev. Congratulations. It looks amazing.”

  “Thanks.” Evan gave a not-so-subtle glance at his watch. “I hate to say it, but I’ve got to get back to work.”

  “No problem. Hope we can hang out while I’m home.”

  “Yeah, sure, I’d love to. Good to see you, bro,” Evan said as he jogged up the stairs to rejoin Josh.

  Adam left feeling like Evan was working awfully hard to act like everything was fine. He knew Evan almost as well as he knew himself, and all his instincts told him his little brother was anything but fine.

  Her cell phone began ringing around five, and Abby ignored the first call from Cal as well as the second. By now he’d found the note she left him and might be upset that she’d left. Or maybe he was relieved. Probably the latter. After the second call, though, she became curious and checked her voice mail.

  “Hey, babe. I’m just home from my mom’s and wo
ndering where you are and what you want to do for dinner. Give me a call.”

  Abby let out a groan. He hadn’t found the note she’d left in plain sight on the kitchen table. Knowing him, he’d gone directly to the fridge for a beer and was now sprawled on the sofa watching ESPN. The familiar image gave her a pang of longing for him that she quickly pushed to the back of her mind. She’d made her decision, and now she had to live with it.

  She listened to his second, more urgent message with a growing sense of dismay. Was she going to have to tell him she’d left him? God, she hoped not. It’d been hard enough to write the note. She couldn’t imagine having to say the words, which was why she went with a text.

  I left you a note on the table.

  Oh, sorry, missed that. BRB.

  Knowing full well what the note said, her heart beat fast and her hands got sweaty while she waited for him to read it. When the phone rang a third time, she took the call. She owed him that much after the year they’d spent happily together before it all went wrong.

  “Are you serious?” The anger in his voice came right through the phone.

  “Are you really surprised?”

  “Hell, yes, I’m surprised!” His Texas drawl became more pronounced when he was upset. “You never said a word about leaving until you were gone. What the hell, Abby?”

  “Nothing has been right between us since I got there. You know that.”

  “I’m dealing with a crisis! I’m sorry if I wasn’t able to give you enough attention.”

  “You think that’s it? Proves how totally clueless you are.”

  “Will you please stop talking in code and tell me what the hell that means.”

  “You have unresolved feelings for Candy.” Saying the other woman’s name made Abby feel a bit sick. “I’m not willing to compete with that.”

  After a long stretch of silence in which Abby wondered if he was still there, he said, “Feelings for Candy. Right. That’s why I asked you to marry me, because I still have feelings for her.”

  “You admitted you still think about her! I have eyes, Cal. I can see the way you respond to her. You never look at me the way you look at her, and I got tired of being the other woman in my relationship.”

  “I cannot believe you didn’t talk to me about this.”

  “I did talk to you. You said I shouldn’t worry about your feelings for her. I don’t agree. What’s there to say?”

  “A lot! You left without even giving me a chance!”

  “I’ve given you lots of chances. I got tired of being ignored.”

  “And we’re back to that. My mom is sick. She needs me. I’m sorry if you felt ignored.”

  “Your mom isn’t the only one who needs you. Candy does, too. You should be with her. The two of you have all kinds of history, and your mom loves her.”

  “I don’t love her! I love you.”

  “You do love her. You’re lying to yourself—and to me—if you deny it.”

  “Oh my God, I can’t believe you’re telling me who I love!”

  Abby wiped away tears. “I left the ring in your top dresser drawer.”

  “So that’s it? Over and done with?”

  “I’m sorry, Cal. But I’ve done this once before—”

  “You’re really going to compare me to Grant McCarthy?”

  “The situation is similar. That’s the only comparison I’m making.”

  “It’s not similar. I love you, and I made a commitment to you, which he never did. But if you don’t feel the same way, I can’t do anything about that.”

  “I do feel the same way. I did…”

  “Past tense?”

  “It’s been very hard for me to watch the way you react to her, and to realize it wasn’t going to work out between us after all. It was very…hard.”

  “I never meant to give you the impression anything was happening with her. I swear to you that’s been over for years.”

  “I’m sure you’d like to believe that.”

  He released a frustrated sigh that she heard quite clearly through the phone. “Where are you?”

  “Where else? Gansett.”

  “You should’ve talked to me before you left.”

  “Maybe so, but I knew you’d try to talk me out of doing what was best for me.”

  “This isn’t what’s best for you or for me.”

  “I’m sorry it didn’t work out for us, and I hope your mom continues to improve.”

  “This is not over.”

  “Bye, Cal.” Abby ended the call and turned her face into her pillow to muffle the sounds of her sobs. Not that anyone could hear her, but she was ashamed to once again be crying her heart out over a man who’d chosen something else—or someone else—over her. How many times in one lifetime was a woman supposed to get her heart broken?

  Despite what he’d said, Abby had seen him with Candy enough to know the truth. Even if he wasn’t ready to admit it yet, she knew and wasn’t willing to waste any more of her life waiting around for him to figure it out. It was better to get out now before things got really ugly.

  Disgusted with herself over the pity party, she wiped her face and went into the bathroom to splash cold water on her eyes. When she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she grimaced at the red eyes and nose that looked back at her.

  A knock on her door had her drying her face and running her fingers through her hair. Whoever it was would be able to tell she’d been crying. She opened the door to her mother. Could this day get any better?

  “Oh Lord,” Constance said as she brushed by Abby on her way into the room. As always, every hair on her mother’s gray head was perfectly in place, and her outfit coordinated down to the pink espadrilles that matched the pink collar of the shirt that peeked out from under a designer sweater.

  And as usual, Abby felt like a schlump next to her mother. She’d spent most of her life trying to measure up to her mother’s idea of perfection and had fallen short more often than not.

  “By all means, come in. Please.”

  “What happened?”

  “A lot of things. None of it I wish to talk about.”

  “You’ve been crying.”

  “Really? I didn’t know that.”

  “Save your sarcasm, Abigail.”

  “How did you hear I was home? How did you know what room I was in?”

  “It’s a small island. Word gets around. What’re you doing here when you could be with us?”

  Abby raised her brows and let the expression speak for itself.

  “Whether you believe me or not, I liked Cal. I wanted it to work out for you two. I was worried when you postponed the wedding—”

  “Because his mother had a stroke, Mom. What would you have me do? Drag him to the altar when he’d rather be with his mother?”

  “I never said that. I only wish you’d learned from the past and gotten married before you went after him.”

  “Clearly, I haven’t learned a thing, but thanks for pointing that out to me. I hadn’t been thinking that myself or anything.”

  “You’re in a mood.”

  “Do ya think?”

  “Maybe you two will work things out. Some time and space—”

  “We’re not going to work things out. It’s over.”

  Constance blew out a deep breath and sat on Abby’s bed. “What’s your plan?”

  “I don’t have much of a plan. I’m going to find an apartment and run the gift shop at the Surf this summer. After the summer, I’ll reevaluate.”

  “I so wish you hadn’t given up your business.”

  Abby wanted to scream, but she held her tongue. “Anything else you’d like to get off your chest?”

  “I’m not your enemy.”

  “I never said you were. But stating the obvious doesn’t help.”

  Constance stood and hooked her pink-patterned purse over her shoulder. “Your father and I would do anything for you. I hope you know that.”

  “I do,” Abby said, blinking back ne
w tears. Her parents’ intentions were always good, even if their standards were a little too high for her liking. “Thank you.”

  Constance gave her a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek. “I’ve missed you. It’s good to have you home, even if the circumstances aren’t ideal.”

  “Thanks, Mom.”

  “Come see us.”

  “I will.”

  At the door, Constance paused and turned to Abby. “I’m sorry this has happened to you, but you’re a strong person and you’ll get through it.”

  Her mother left before Abby could form a reply to the unprecedented compliment. She’d always felt like a failure in the eyes of her exacting parents. Sure, she’d always known they loved her, but they had been disappointed when she moved to LA with Grant without the benefit of marriage and even more so when she went to Texas to be with Cal.

  “Enough of dwelling on the past,” she said to herself as she went into the bathroom and got out her makeup to repair the damage to her face. “This is my summer, and it’s time to start having some fun. Damn it.” Smiling at her reflection, she whispered, “Fuckin’ A,” and dissolved into giggles at the sound of a word she’d rarely used before today.

  Rome wasn’t built in a day, and it was going to take a while before words like that rolled off her tongue naturally. But she’d get there. Starting tonight, everything was going to be different.

  Dinner was the usual McCarthy family fiasco, and Adam loved every minute of the noise, the kids, the food, the love. Being surrounded by those who loved him best brought home once again how completely taken in he’d been by someone who hadn’t deserved his love.

  He volunteered for grill duty so he could have a minute to get himself ready for some lighthearted family fun. After the trauma of the accident, his parents and siblings had enough on their minds without taking on his crap, too. Adam was determined to keep his problems to himself for as long as he could. He was, however, glad he’d told his dad. It was nice to have one person firmly in his corner. Well, Abby, too. She’d been very supportive, which he appreciated.

  If only he could stop thinking about Sasha and trying to figure out when things had gone so wrong between them that she could sell him out for money without blinking an eye. Whatever had happened, he’d been completely oblivious.