Waiting for Love

by Marie Force

Abby dissolved into laughter. “You were so stoic.”

  “It hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt.”

  “Awww, I’m sorry I talked you into it.”

  “I’m not. It was fun to share your moment of rebellion. How about that ointment? I’ll be gentle.”

  “Okay,” Abby said, filled with trepidation at the thought of anyone touching her sore skin.

  Adam got out of bed, which was when Abby realized that he’d shed his jeans and underwear at some point. As she watched him move around the room, her mouth watered with desire for more of him. She feasted her eyes on his muscular backside until he turned around and gave her an even better view.

  When he realized she was staring at him, he stopped and seemed to pose for her. “You like?”

  Abby bit her lip and nodded.

  Smiling at her, he returned to the bed with a tube of ointment in hand. “Ready?”

  “I guess.”

  His touch was exceedingly gentle, so much so she barely felt it as he treated the entire area. “Is that okay?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  He bent to kiss the inside of her knee. “Remind me I want to spend more time right here later, will you?”

  “I’ll see if I can remember that.”

  “I hate to say that I’ve got to go. I want to run home to change before I go to Luke’s.”

  “I need to get moving, too. I’m meeting the girls across the street in an hour.” Abby held out her arms to him, and he crawled up the bed to her, like a big sexy cat on the prowl.

  “See you back here later?”

  “Yes, you will.”

  “Text me when you get back.”

  “I will.”

  He kissed her slowly, lingering on a thorough exploration of her bottom lip that had her heart pounding in no time at all. “Mmm, so sweet. It’s going to be a long night looking forward to later.”

  “For me, too.” She reluctantly released him and he seemed to be equally reluctant to leave her. As she still wore only the thin scrap of underwear, Abby couldn’t bring herself to leave the protection of the sheet. The whole new her wasn’t quite ready to walk around naked in front of him.

  Before he left, he leaned over the bed once more to kiss her. “See you soon.”

  “Have fun tonight.”

  “You, too.” He was to the door before he turned back to her. “It occurs to me that we need an official date with wine and candles and good food. Tomorrow night. That's what we’ll do. All right?”

  “All right.”

  Abby’s smile lingered for a long time after he left.

  Annoyed by the summons from his mother, Grant almost ignored it.

  “What’s wrong?” Dan asked.

  Grant had come to visit his injured friend and had been enjoying the relaxing time with Dan when the text had arrived.

  “My mom has summoned us to the White House for some unknown reason.”

  “Are you going?”

  “I’d love to pretend like I didn't get the message, but somehow Voodoo Mama would know.”

  “You’re too funny, man. Still worried about getting in trouble with your mommy. How old are you anyway?”

  “Thirty-six last time I checked.”

  Dan grinned and shook his head.

  “Until you’ve encountered Linda McCarthy’s wrath, you can’t judge me.”

  “Whatever you say. Mind if I come along? I’m getting sick of looking at my own four walls.”

  “Isn’t Kara coming over?”

  “She’s working late, covering for one of her people. She’ll be here later.”

  Grant helped Dan up from the sofa, moving carefully so as not to jar Dan’s injured ribs. “Things with her are going well?”

  “She’s amazing. I think I might be in love.”

  “I never thought I’d hear you say that again.” For years after Dan caught his ex-fiancée in bed with his best man the day before his wedding, he’d stayed far, far away from anything that smacked of commitment.

  “I never thought I’d say it either. But there’s something about Kara that makes me want to take chances again.”

  Grant helped Dan into a light jacket, which was complicated by the bulky cast on his arm. “I’m glad for you. She seems really great.”

  “She’s been amazing since the accident. I don’t know what I would’ve done without her.”

  “So get this… My brother Adam is seeing Abby.”

  “Abby as in your ex-Abby?”

  “One and the same.”

  “I thought she was engaged to that doctor. What was his name?”

  Grant closed the door to Dan’s house. Outside, he watched Dan cast longing glances at his Porsche, which he’d be unable to drive for quite some time yet. “Cal Maitland. Apparently, that’s over. Life in Texas didn’t agree with her.”

  “Is that right?”

  Grant held the door to his car for Dan and waited while his friend moved slowly and painfully into the passenger seat. “That’s what I heard.”

  When they were on their way, Dan said, “So what do you think of Adam being with her?”

  “It’s been over between us for a long time, but it’s still kind of weird to think of my own brother dating her, you know?”

  “My brother and I dated the same girl once.”

  Since Dan rarely talked about the brother he’d lost in Afghanistan, Grant was instantly curious. “How did that happen?”

  “She was his high school girlfriend. They broke up senior year, and I worked with her a couple of summers later. We went out a few times, but it was making things weird with Dylan, so I broke it off with her. I figured it wasn’t going anywhere with her, so why put strain between me and him, you know?”

  “Sounds like a good call.”

  “Will this put strain between you and Adam?”

  “If it does, it’ll also put strain between me and Steph, because she’ll think I’m jealous, which I’m not.”

  “True,” Dan said with a chuckle that came out more like a grimace thanks to his injuries. “Puts you between a rock and a hard place, huh?”

  “Seriously.”

  “So it’s just you and me here. How do you really feel about it?”

  “I don’t know exactly. I guess if I were being completely honest, I’d say I wish he were ‘hanging out’ with someone else.”

  “That’s fair enough. I can certainly understand why you’d prefer that.”

  “But the fact is, he’s seeing her, and I have to keep my mouth shut about it or cause trouble I don’t need with Steph. She’s had so many disappointments and catastrophes in her life. I refuse to be one of them, and I don’t want to trigger all her insecurities. She’s worked so hard to overcome them and to have faith in me—and in us. I can’t screw that up. She means too damned much to me to let that happen.”

  “Aaah, Grant. Look at us. All grown up at last.”

  “I know, right? Sucks, doesn’t it?”

  “Don’t make me laugh. I beg of you.”

  “Sorry.”

  Grant parked outside his parents’ home just as Mac arrived in one of the marina trucks and Evan pulled up on Mac’s old motorcycle. Another bike pulled into the driveway, which turned out to be Adam.

  Standing beside the passenger door to help Dan, Grant called out to his brother. “Where’d you get that bike?”

  “Rented it,” Adam said. “What’re you all doing here?”

  “Mom sent a text asking us to come,” Mac said. “No idea what’s up.”

  “How come I wasn’t invited?” Adam asked.

  “I guess you’re not one of her favorites,” Evan said. “But I could’ve told you that ages ago. Let’s go find out what she’s up to. I was right in the middle of something at the studio.”

  The others filed in ahead of Grant, who waited for Dan.

  “Hope I’m not intruding on a family moment,” Dan said.

  “Don’t worry about it. There’re no secrets in this family.”

&nbs
p; Inside, Grant’s parents and Uncle Frank were talking to a woman Grant didn’t recognize. He hadn’t heard his uncle was on-island. Grant and his brothers greeted Frank with hugs.

  “Here they all are,” Linda said. “Our sons Mac, Evan, Grant and Adam. Oh, and Grant’s friend Dan is here. He was on the boat, too.”

  When she said that last part, Grant took a step back. Who was that woman?

  “Boys, this is Betsy Jacobson. Steve’s mother.”

  “No,” Grant said. “No.” His feet moved seemingly of their own volition as he bolted from the house. The drumbeat of denial, no, no, no, echoed in his ears as he ran from the home where he’d been raised in a cocoon of love and understanding. They wouldn’t understand what he couldn’t reconcile himself.

  “Grant! Stop! Wait.”

  “Grant!”

  He heard his brothers calling his name, but still he ran, blinded by tears, stumbling and nearly falling over a crack in the sidewalk that had always been there. And then strong arms were around him, stopping his forward motion. Mac.

  “Stop. Grant… Don’t run. I’ve got you.”

  Something in him broke as his brother’s formidable strength surrounded him, holding him, protecting him from the tsunami of overwhelming agony that forced gut-wrenching sobs through his body.

  “It’s okay.” Mac held him so tightly that Grant could barely breathe. He wanted to beg his brother to not let go. If he did, Grant might drop off the cliff he’d been clinging to for days now. “Let it out.” Mac’s hand on the back of Grant’s head kept his face pressed tight against his big brother’s shoulder. “Let it go. No matter what it is, we love you, we’ll always love you.”

  “No,” Grant said between sobs. “No, you won’t.”

  “Yes, we will. That could never change. Nothing you could do would make me not love you.”

  “He’s right,” Evan said from behind Grant. “He speaks for all of us.”

  “You don’t understand,” Grant said.

  “Make us understand, buddy,” Adam said. “Let us help.”

  He wanted to so badly. He wanted to unburden himself on the three brothers he loved more than almost anyone in the world. There was nothing they wouldn’t do for him. He knew it and believed they’d stand by him no matter what. But he was so afraid to say the words, to confess what he’d done, especially with Steve’s mother in their home.

  “Let me in.”

  Grant heard his father’s voice and stiffened.

  Mac smoothly transitioned him into the arms of their father, who held him even more tightly than Mac had.

  “Tell us what has you so upset,” Big Mac said. “Put it out there, get it off your chest, let us share the load.”

  Surrounded by the unconditional love of his family, Grant could no longer hold back the words that poured forth. The boat, the crash, landing in the water with Dan and Steve, both grievously injured, not knowing where Mac or Evan were and faced with an unimaginable choice: save one of his best friends or save the man he’d met only that morning. He couldn’t save them both and save himself, too.

  “Oh God,” Mac said. “God.”

  “I couldn’t save him,” Grant said, choking on sobs, “and now his mother is here, and I have to tell her that? I have to tell her that I let him go because I couldn’t save him and Dan?”

  “Grant…”

  He pulled back from his dad and found Dan staring at him, stricken as realization set in.

  “I chose you,” Grant said. “I chose to save you, and now he’s dead, and it’s my fault.”

  The circle of men around him sniffled and wiped their eyes. He’d never seen any of them cry, let alone all of them at once.

  Dan came over to him and hugged him as best he could. “It’s not your fault. It’s the fault of the ship that hit us, the fog, the bad luck of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was nothing you could’ve done but survive. You saved my life. It’s thanks to you that Steve and I aren’t both dead.”

  “That’s right, son,” Big Mac said. “Do you give yourself any credit for saving Dan?”

  “I wanted to save them both,” Grant said, depleted by the emotional firestorm.

  “You couldn’t,” Adam said. “And no one will blame you for reaching for the one who’s been your friend for so long.”

  “Not even Steve’s mother?” Grant asked him. “Will she understand? I can’t tell her this. She’s come here for answers, and I can’t tell her. I can’t.”

  “We’ll do it for you,” Mac said. “We’ve got your back. We’ve always got your back.”

  Big Mac framed Grant’s face with big hands, forcing him to meet his father’s steely, determined gaze. “I’m proud of you, son. You saved Dan’s life. You saved my life and your mother’s and Stephanie’s by saving your own. You faced an unimaginable dilemma, and you did the best you could. That’s all anyone can ever do.”

  He choked back a sob. “Don’t be proud of me for letting Steve die.”

  “You didn’t let him die,” Big Mac said. “That was God’s will. Not yours.”

  Grant broke down anew at his father’s absolution—absolution he didn’t feel he deserved, but which brought a measure of peace anyway. Giving voice to the agony he’d borne alone had also helped.

  “We’re all behind you, Grant,” Evan said. “It was a nightmare out there. Mac and I can attest to that. One minute we were on the front of the boat, and the next minute we’re in the water, in the fog and we can’t find each other. How you managed to save Dan—as well as yourself—is amazing to me, and I’m sure to Mac, too.”

  “It is,” Mac agreed. “I had all I could do to keep my own head above water. I have no idea how you were able to save Dan, too.”

  Grant didn’t know how he’d done it. A lot of the details were vague, but letting Dan go hadn’t been an option. He remembered that much.

  “Let’s go in there and face Steve’s mom together,” Big Mac said. “She wants the truth. She needs the truth. Let’s give that to her, and maybe it’ll set you free, too.”

  Grant didn’t know if anything could set him free from the nightmare he’d been living over the last week, but sharing his burden with his brothers, his father and his friend had helped. Exhausted and wrung out from the ordeal of confession, Grant let his dad guide him into the house.

  Adam let the others go in ahead of him and remained on the porch for a minute, collecting himself. Seeing his brother so undone had upset him tremendously. To him, Grant had always been cool, sophisticated, incredibly talented and somewhat aloof, untouched by the troubles that plagued regular mortals. Seeing him brought low by the tragedy of Steve’s death had shaken Adam.

  He leaned against the rail on the front porch, staring down at his mother’s rose garden and thinking about how arbitrary and capricious life could be. His brothers had left with two other men on a spring morning to participate in a sailboat race. By the day’s end, one of them was dead, one was gravely injured, and three others were changed forever by the harrowing experience.

  “Adam?”

  At the sound of Evan’s voice, Adam turned. “Yeah?”

  “Are you coming in?”

  “In a minute.”

  Evan joined him in leaning against the rail. “He was her only child.”

  “Christ,” Adam uttered.

  “I guess she raised him alone after the dad split. She taught him how to sail, got him interested in the sport. And now…”

  “She’s feeling guilty for encouraging him to do what he probably loved more than anything.”

  “Something like that.”

  “I can’t believe what happened to Grant out there.”

  “The poor guy. No wonder why he’s been so messed up.”

  “One of us should call Stephanie to clue her in to what’s going on.”

  “Good idea. I’ll do it.”

  Adam stood by Evan’s side as he placed the call to Stephanie and told her what Grant had finally confessed to them. “She’s on
her way,” Evan said when he ended the call.

  “It’ll take some time,” Adam said, “but he’ll get past this.”

  “You think so?”

  “You don’t?”

  “I think it’ll haunt him for a long time.”

  “We’ll take care of him. Stephanie will, too. We’ll get him past it. Somehow.”

  Evan put an arm around Adam and gave him an awkward hug. Growing up, Adam and his younger brother had spent more time punching each other than hugging. But now he leaned into his brother’s embrace, thankful for the comfort.

  “I’m glad you’re home,” Evan said. “I’m glad everyone is home.”

  “Me, too.” There was, Adam thought, nowhere else he’d rather be.

  Listening to Mac relay the tale of epic struggle to Steve Jacobson’s mother was among the most excruciating things Grant had ever been through. The poor woman wept throughout the telling, during which Mac’s voice never wavered from the soft, soothing tone he began with.

  By the time he was finished, everyone in the room was in tears.

  Uncle Frank slipped an arm around his brother, propping up Big Mac, who was taking the retelling of the story hard. It was equally hard for Grant to hear it again, but he was thankful to Mac for doing the talking for him. He didn’t think he could’ve gotten through it himself. But now he felt the need to say something to Steve’s mother.

  “I’m sorry,” Grant said. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save them both.”

  Betsy took a new tissue from Linda. “After the crash… When you were in the water, was Steve conscious?”

  “No.”

  “Is it possible he might’ve already been dead?”

  “I don’t know,” Grant said. “I wish I could tell you what you need to know, but I wasn’t able to get to him to confirm that.”

  “I ask because it would give me comfort to know he didn’t suffer, that perhaps he was killed on impact.”

  “I suppose that’s possible.”

  Betsy wiped her eyes and took in the group gathered before her. “Thank you all so much for seeing me. I know it was difficult for you to relive what was a terrible day for you, too, but I appreciate it more than you’ll ever know. I won’t take any more of your time.”

  “Don’t go.” Linda took the other woman’s hand before she could rise. “You’re welcome to stay for as long as you’d like. We’ve got plenty of room, and we’d love to have you.” She glanced at her husband.