A Taste of Bliss

by Adrian R. Hale

  “Dude. That was pretty cool. We didn’t fall or anything.” She jumps up and down in excitement. She is forced to stop when her foot slides out of her shoe and makes her stumble. “Okay, totally fell, but at least it was here and not out front.”

  I can’t help but laugh at her, and this whole situation. It’s surreal to be walking in a fashion show I put together for a worthy cause, and to have liked it.

  “Hey ladies, don’t go too far. The chairs are being rearranged so we can start the auction. I’ll bring you out in the same order you walked, so stay nearby and pay attention.” Finch is perfectly executing the role of organizer extraordinaire. I’m so glad I have him on board with this. He peeks out the door and then comes back. “Okay, you—” he points at a model named Jasmine, “let’s do this. Be cute, sell the dress, and raise money.” They walk out together.

  I head to the door and stick my head out. The side of the warehouse is now serving as our auction stage, with Finch on a microphone speaking to the crowd. It’s a big crowd. Bigger than I realized while I was focused on walking through the catwalk. Fresh nerves have my hands sweating and shaking, and my mouth dry. I swallow and make fists, forcing a calm I don’t actually feel.

  Finch has started the auction and, much to my delight, there are actually people bidding. We decided to start every dress at one hundred dollars, knowing we would like to make at least a thousand to help mom. Watching women, and even some men, raising their hands bidding higher each time for the beautiful dress has me elated. The bidding finally stalls at five hundred, and Jasmine returns to the room, telling the next model in line to go out front. I high-five her and tell her good job.

  I busy myself by cleaning up my station, cleaning brushes and putting everything away so I don’t have to do it later. Before I know it, Willa is grabbing my shoulder.

  “Hey lady, I got seven hundred, can you believe it? There’s not even much of a dress here. Your turn—go make money for your mom.” She pushes me to the door and I am walking in a daze toward Finch who is joking with the last auction winner. He sends her off to Milleigh who will take payment and arrange for the dress to be sent to her.

  “Now, ladies and gentleman, this beautiful dress is worn by Bliss Kaufman, the fabulous lady who put together this entire event. Her mom, Lisa, is our beneficiary tonight, so it would mean a lot to all of us if you could continue to be so charitable and give us a good purchase price for this frothy pink creation by Azalia Designs. We will start our bidding at one hundred, who can give me a hundred?” Finch motions at a woman off to the left who has raised her hand. “We have a hundred, who bids one-fifty?”

  “One thousand,” a man says from the back of the crowd, causing gasps to ripple through the sea of people. I look out but can’t see who made the bid. I smile and fan myself, playing to the high bid and getting some comic relief that causes people to laugh.

  “Wow, that’s quite the bid, thank you kind sir. We have a thousand. Does anyone want to bid more?” Finch is giddy, a huge smile on his face knowing we could have just auctioned off this one dress to raise the money we were hoping for.

  “Two thousand,” I hear offered by another man in back. Again, the crowd gasps at the even higher bid.

  “Looks like we have a high-priced bidding war, folks. Would you care to come closer to the stage, both of you gentleman who would like this dress? I bet it would look lovely on either of you,” Finch jokes, easing the excited tension that fills the air.

  The crowd parts slightly, allowing a tall middle-aged man with light hair to make his way forward. Right behind him is Talan.

  Of course.

  I look for my mom in the crowd, and finally find her sitting with Amy off to the side. Her hand is over her mouth, a look of shock on her face. She looks to me quickly and catches me watching her. She shakes her head softly, obviously unsure what is happening. She returns her attention to the men that have stepped forward. I follow her gaze and find Talan staring at me with rapt attention. His heavy gaze sends butterflies crashing through my rib cage, fighting to make their way out. I fight the urge to cross my arms across my chest, because the look he’s giving me leaves me completely stripped. I look at the other man, and don’t know who he is. He looks maybe vaguely familiar, but I have no clue where I would have seen or met him.

  “Now gentlemen, I do hope you are bidding on this beautiful dress, and not on the lovely lady wearing it.” Finch gets a laugh from the crowd and causes Talan to smile devilishly at me. He’s bidding on me. He wants to make a statement, show me he doesn’t care what it takes. He could practically fund Mom’s bucket list if he wants to.

  “So, the gentleman in the blue suit, do you want to counter the two thousand bid?”

  The unknown man nods his head. “Three.”

  “Four,” Talan quickly throws in, appraising his competition.

  Instead of an immediate counter, the gentleman leans toward Talan and whispers something to him. I watch Talan for any sign of what the man may be saying. His face transforms from competitive and intent to win, to astonished, and finally to grim acceptance. Whatever the man has said has resonated with him.

  “Five thousand,” the older man says gently, patting Talan on the back as he nods at Finch.

  Talan shakes his head at Finch, conceding the bidding war to the older man. He brings his eyes up to meet mine, which I am sure are the size of dinner plates as I imagine what the man has said to him. He pleads with me silently, begging me to understand. I frown, unsure why that would be the look he would give me.

  “Thank you gentlemen. Now, this will be the final call for more bids. Five thousand going once, twice, and sold to the man in the blue suit.” Finch finishes the auction with a bemused smile. “Can you believe it, ladies and gentlemen? This pink dress by Azalia Designs just sold to that generous fellow for five thousand dollars. I bet you are all wondering just where he plans to wear it, aren’t you?” The crowd laughs.

  I make my way backstage in a daze and allow the final model to take her turn on the stage. I feel a little bad for her, having to follow that gross display of competition, even if it was for a good cause. I’m reeling with disbelief when Willa grabs my shoulders.

  “Holy freaking cow. Did this dress really just sell for five grand to some old dude out there?”

  I shake off my haze, and look at her, now changed into her own dress. “Yeah, he and Talan were trying to outbid each other,” I reply.

  “Wait, that other guy was The Talan? The bartender turned winery owner who sets fire to your panties but you somehow want to avoid?” She asks me in incredulity. “He’s hot. And probably loaded if he was bidding thousands of dollars on a dress just because you were in it.”

  “Yeah, that Talan. The older guy said something to him after his last bid. Whatever it was, Talan was willing to let him win. I need to get out of this dress and figure out what the hell is going on. Mom looked freaked out over the whole thing.” I fumble with the zipper, in a rush to get this dress off and get out front to see if she’s okay. Willa bats my hands away and unzips me, helping me out of the dress and hanging it up while I throw on the short black dress I had planned to wear tonight. It’s not nearly as stunning as the blush dress I just took off, but it’s mine.

  I rush out to the front as the last model is making her way backstage, grinning happily.

  “Six hundred,” she tells me as I pass.

  “Way to go,” I reply, hoping she doesn't mind my distraction. Every bit counts.

  I wind my way through the guests, looking for my mom. Talan finds me first, stepping in my path and forcing me to look around him.

  “Bliss, wait,” he tells me, holding his hands out in a pleading gesture.

  “Not now, Talan, I have to find my mom. I think something is wrong.” I try to brush past him, but his hands grab and steady me, forcing me to struggle against him. “Hey, what are you doing? Later, okay?”

  “Hold on a second. Your mom and Andy are talking. I think they need a minute.”


  I stop and stare at him, patiently holding me and waiting for me to calm down. “Who is Andy?” I ask him slowly, not sure I want the answer.

  “Bliss, he’s your dad.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “My dad?” I repeat, blankly looking at Talan for confirmation. He nods, slowly releasing my arms and resting his hands lightly on my waist. “I don’t have a dad. My mom made me by herself.” I repeat the first excuse my mother ever gave me for not having a father. It slips out so naturally, I must believe it.

  “Well, he said he’s your dad, and wanted to win that auction to find a way to make up for not knowing about you all this time. He and Lisa are talking now, see?” Talan turns me slightly and points toward where my mom and this guy—Andy—are sitting and talking. Mom has tears sliding down her face as he softly rubs her back. They don’t look unhappy, but I wish I could be there and figure out what is happening.

  “How…what is he doing here?” I ask.

  Talan shakes his head, unsure of the answer himself. “Come with me. I’ll get you something to drink while they talk.” He leads me to a table set up with glasses and a server who dutifully pours the wine Talan points to.

  “Why do you keep giving me white wine?” I ask. “Don’t you think I should try something else?” My brain is focusing on anything other than my life being turned upside down with the appearance of this so-called father of mine.

  “You’re young, probably new to wine. Reds are typically something you grow into. Whites are easier to drink. That Blanc du Bois has a low residual sugar count, making it dry, but still sweet. I just figured something easy would be nice for you,” he explains, shrugging his shoulders.

  “Oh,” I say, unable to think of anything more appropriate. I quickly gulp the wine down, letting the alcohol burn down my throat without tasting it. The warmth in my stomach is a departure from the cold that had settled there as soon as I found out about my father.

  Whoa, I have a father.

  I hold my glass out to be refilled. Talan places his hand over the glass and returns it to the table.

  “Easy, tiger. I think you may want to have your wits about you when you speak to your mom. Another glass of wine, or three, isn’t going to help.”

  “Seriously? You want to cut me off now? I think I need an entire bottle, followed by a few shots of tequila to properly process the turn this evening has taken.” I sound childish and sullen, but turn away from the wine, knowing he’s right. “Time’s up. I want to go over there.”

  Talan follows me over to my mom, who is no longer crying, but is still deep in conversation with this Andy guy. I stop in front of them and wait until she looks up.

  “Bliss…” She trails off, obviously not sure what to say next.

  “I hear you’re my long lost daddy. Nice to meet you. I’m the kid you never knew you had. How does that feel?” I direct my venom toward Andy, unsure where it is coming from. “It would have been so nice to have met you when I was little and really needed a father, or even as I got older and I saw just how tough it was for my mom to raise a child by herself. But this is as good a time as any, now that Mom is dying and I have been supporting myself for years. Good timing, I’d say.” Twenty-one years of unacknowledged bitterness has bubbled up and spilled out, finally having a face to splash with acid. I am breathing heavily and working on my next onslaught when Mom cuts me off.

  “Bliss, I left him. I never told him about you. It’s my fault, not Andy’s. Sweetie, don’t do this,” Mom pleads with me, taking my hands and drawing me down into the chair next to her. My anger dissolves when I see her tears and know I caused them.

  “What’s going on, Mom?” I ask, searching her eyes and praying to any god I can think of to take away her cancer so I can have her with me longer.

  “Honey, this is hard to say, and I hope you don’t think badly of me for it. I was young, naive. In love. I had an affair with Andy. He had a family, a wife and kids. When I found out about his marriage, I knew I couldn’t ask him to leave his wife, but I’m ashamed to admit there was a part of me that wanted him to. When I got pregnant, I finally realized just how destructive I was acting, and how much hurt I could cause with my selfishness. I decided to keep you as my one piece of him, and chose not to destroy his family. I couldn’t do that to his wife. I couldn’t do it to his beautiful girls, when I was suddenly thinking of my own baby that I wanted to protect from anything like this. I told him I couldn’t do it anymore and left. I changed my number, moved, and did everything I could so he wouldn’t be able to find me again. I selfishly kept you to myself, not wanting to share when I had unknowingly been sharing him for months. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, because I loved him so much, but I thought it was the best thing to do.” Mom begins to cough, her shoulders shaking as she rushes to bring a tissue to her mouth to catch the blood that stains her lips.

  Andy holds her gently, bringing a pack of tissue out of his suit pocket and offering a new one to her when her cough subsides.

  I finally get a chance to really look at him. I examine his face, so rapt with attention for my mother. I realize with a start that I have his nose. I trace my finger along the length of my nose absently. It’s the one thing that never made sense when I looked at my face and Mom’s. Actually, we have the same wide forehead, too. It’s incredible to see pieces of you reflected on a stranger.

  “Bliss…man, that’s a pretty name,” Andy says, looking up at me. “I know this has got to be tough for you. I’m sorry to just show up like this and throw you through a loop.”

  “You’re right, it’s rather unexpected. I would have liked to have known even a tiny bit of this a long time ago,” I reply, my voice nearly washed clean of the hurtful venom I was so intent to spew.

  “Bliss, that was my fault. I thought I was protecting you. I just wanted to keep you all to myself, and I didn’t want you to get hurt when you understood that what I had done was wrong, even though you are everything that is right.” Mom can’t meet my eyes, her hands shredding her tissue onto her lap.

  “Mom, how…why did he show up here, tonight?”

  “I sent him a letter when I found out about the cancer. I told him why I had left, and all about my beautiful baby girl who is now a wonderful woman.” She squeezes my hand and fights the tears that are pooling on her lashes.

  “But why? We have existed perfectly fine without him all this time. There was no reason to involve him in our lives. No offense,” I say to Andy, who just nods in understanding.

  “I wanted to make my amends, absolve myself of the things that are still weighing heavily on me. I need to die with a free conscious, knowing I did everything I could to make things right.”

  “Mom—” my voice breaks, thick tears threatening to spill over my lashes. I sniff heavily, swallowing back the salty tears as she cups my cheek.

  “It should have been my burden to bear with you, Lisa,” Andy says to Mom, taking her hand in his. “I am the only one who should be blamed for having an affair. It was my choice, and you were just an innocent bystander to the pain I was inflicting on my own family because I wasn’t happy. I didn’t mean to fall in love with you. It broke my heart when you left me, but it made me really evaluate what I was doing to everyone around me. It wasn’t fair to my family, and it certainly wasn’t fair to you.” He turns to me, his eyes sad. “My wife and I divorced later that year. She wasn’t happy either, it turns out. We just never talked about it; we let it push us apart. I thought I would find Lisa again, but I never did. Not until I got a letter from her, telling me she was dying.” His eyes fill with tears that he brushes away quickly. “To think, we could have spent the last twenty years together, and I messed it up with my bad timing and selfishness,” he says sadly, his voice thick with unshed tears.

  “This is crazy. I think my head is going to explode,” I say to no one in particular. It’s then I remember Talan is witnessing this little spectacle, and look up to find him leaning casually against the wall near And
y, his hands in his pockets and his keen eyes trained on me. “I guess I can leave you two to get reacquainted. I think I just need some time to process this,” I tell Mom and Andy.

  “Baby, I know this is hard. Please don’t hate me for doing what I did.” Mom squeezes my hand.

  “Just—I just need some time. Please excuse me.”

  Funny thing about time is you never have enough of it. It’s also the one thing my mom can’t give me more of.

  “Get me out of here?” I ask Talan. He nods, standing from the wall and pulling me to my feet.

  “Wonderful to see you, Lisa. Nice to meet you Andy,” he says before whisking me by the hand across the warehouse and out the door to his Ducati.

  “Wait a second.” I pull my hand from Talan’s when we stop at the motorcycle, digging my phone out of my purse to text Willa.

  Me: Can you please cover for me? I have to leave. Just met my dad…

  Willa: Saw you rush out the door with man-candy. Damn, babe, quite the night. You owe me the story. Go, I got this.

  Me: TY! You’re the best and I owe you more than the story, and dishes.

  I zip my phone in my purse and pull on the helmet Talan holds out to me before climbing on the bike behind him.

  Chapter Twenty

  I expect Talan to head for Sonoma, but instead he drives to the South Beach area. My neck cranes upward as he pulls into the garage of a high-rise building near the Bay Bridge. He helps me off the motorcycle and stores my helmet in a metal storage locker in front of a marked space he’s parked in.

  “What is this place?” I look around the garage as he leads me to an elevator.

  “The Watermark,” he replies, pressing the button for the eighteenth floor. “I live here.”

  “Wait, you don’t live in Sonoma?” I grasp the handrail in the elevator as it rocks slightly and begins its ascent.

  “I have a place there also, but this is where I call home.” He scratches his head and squints his eyes at me. “I see what your mom meant about you filling in the gaps on your own instead of asking for clarification. You’d learn a lot just by asking.” He laughs as my jaw drops open.