Deal of a Lifetime

by Rue Allyn

  ****

  Con watched the woman he desired most in the world drive down the street, then turn a corner. Not until she was completely out of sight did he go back to the rental parked at the curb. He entered the SUV, turned on the ignition, and sat waiting for the air conditioning to cool the interior. Arizona in mid-May was a lot warmer than the Windy City. As his skin chilled, he wished he could cool his temper as easily. He’d been hard pressed to keep from dragging Tam into his arms and shaking her for all she’d put him through. Not just in the past four weeks, but for the previous seven years.

  Forty-five minutes later, Tam’s van turned into her driveway. Con exited his car, heading for the van just as the garage door rose, even though Tam parked in the driveway. He saw the T-bird sitting in quiet splendor. The van door opened. Con rounded the back of the vehicle. Tam got out and opened the rear passenger door. She bent inside and lifted an object.

  “Here, let me help,” said Con.

  “No.” She straightened. A little black-haired girl rested in Tam’s arms. The girl’s eyes were closed, and her head was pillowed on Tam’s shoulder.

  He stepped away. He’d expected a lot of things, but not this. “She yours?”

  “Yes. Get the backpack and paper bag from the car, please.”

  Tam walked away before he could say anything else. He followed her through the kitchen and set his load on the counter. Tam disappeared through a door near the end of a hall extending off the far side of the kitchen. A minute later she made a flying return, grabbed the bag, and disappeared the way she’d come.

  Tam had a daughter? From what little he’d seen, the girl could be anywhere between five and seven years old. Did Tam have an affair and get careless while they were living together? Was that the real reason she disappeared? The thought that she’d cheated on him made him sick to his stomach. It’s not possible. Not Tam. She had too much honor to sneak around. But what if she had? He tamped down rage and tried to think clearly. He wasn’t about to repeat the mistakes he’d made in Montana. If she deserted him for another man, where was he? Why then give herself like she did on the mountain? She was too honorable to cheat, although the child was evidence that Tam could and did love someone else. Any other possibility was either too horrifying or too incredible to believe.

  Eventually she would answer his questions. More important than what happened in the past was what effect the daughter would have on his hopes to marry the mother.

  He wandered from the kitchen toward the front of the house. As he went he noticed the deck and fenced pool in the large backyard, the quality of the furnishings and the considerable size of the house. Tam had done well for herself. Knowing her sharp mind, Con wasn’t surprised. However, on entering the living room he suffered a severe shock.

  The room was fairly ordinary, though tastefully decorated with the usual sofa, chairs, tables, entertainment equipment. Pictures filled a set of wall-to-wall bookshelves. A formal portrait occupied space above the sofa. The image showed a seated Tam with her daughter, slightly younger than she must be now, standing beside her mother.

  The shock came from seeing his features stamped on the girl’s face. That was his daughter smiling at Tam, no question. He’d never seen the same combination of black hair, gray-green eyes beneath night-dark brows, stubborn chin and thin nose on anyone but himself. His own mother was a blonde with soft round features. She said he looked like his dad. Since Con had never met the man, he couldn’t say.

  Unable to resist, he reached out to trace his daughter’s smile through the glass covering the portrait.

  “I guess I don’t have to tell you that you’re Susannah’s father?”

  His hand dropped, and he turned to face Tam where she stood inside the room, her fingers twined tightly together. The number of questions he had multiplied by several hundred.

  “Is she okay?” His daughter’s name was Susannah. He remembered telling Tam early in their relationship about his favorite high school teacher, Susannah Summersby. She’d shown him the magic of math and economics and set his feet squarely on the path that led out of the Chicago projects to where he was now.

  “Yes. She has a cold and will be fine in a day or so. She just needs rest and a little coddling.”

  “May I help?” He had a daughter. Tam’s daughter. He couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the idea.

  “I don’t know. This might not be the best time for the two of you to meet.”

  He set his jaw. The best time to meet his daughter would have been the day she was born. “If not now, when?”

  “Sit down, Con.” She gestured at the sofa, then sat in an over-stuffed, armless scroll-back. “I don’t want to argue with you, but if I had my way you and Susa would never meet.”

  “Why? I’m not a bad person, and I could be a very good influence.”

  “Your ethics aren’t in question. They never were. We never discussed children. I was determined to finish my degree. Having a child changed everything and added stress. Your assistant did her work too well. Communication and trust were already destroyed.”

  She looked out the window then sucked in a deep breath, as if preparing to face a judge. When she turned back to Con, he saw pleading in her eyes as well as resignation.

  “I didn’t know I was pregnant until I became ill,” she continued. “In fact it was the pregnancy that made me ill. It was toxic.”

  “A toxic pregnancy?”

  “It begins as a bacterial infection which, if un-treated or incorrectly treated, can attack the liver and kidneys. The strain of bacteria I had was very strong and resistant to treatment. I was lucky to survive. Susa was even luckier, because the child is most at risk in utero. Add the trust issues your admin exploited and the insecurities that grew out of my parents’ marriage, and the wonder is that I’m talking to you at all. I fought so hard to keep Susa and myself alive. I was determined to prevent her from experiencing the kind of misery I suffered as a child.” Defiance overlaid Tamsin’s supplicant tone. She squared her shoulders and set her chin.

  What could possibly make her so afraid? Was it him? Something he’d done? Yes he was angry, and with anyone else that would be cause enough for fear—not with Tam. Could she imagine he would hurt her or Susa for Tam’s lack of trust? The very idea pained him. “I wanted you, Tam. I have difficulty understanding why you would believe a newspaper report over what you knew of me from personal experience. Do you know how much it hurt to wonder what happened to you—how much it hurts to know you still have no faith in me?”

  She imagined it hurt about as much his silence had hurt her, but she remained impassive rather than show any weakness. She was negotiating the deal of her lifetime, and any chink could be exploited.

  “In Montana, you complained about me interfering in your life. What about your interference in mine?” Con asked. “You took all choice away from me.”

  She felt the blood rush from her face. She couldn’t deny the accusation. “I did what I thought best for you, me, and my child.”

  “Our child.”

  Tam refused to argue over Susa. Her daughter wasn’t a toy to be squabbled about. “If I ignored that engagement announcement and saddled you with a wife and child, O’Neal Corp. wouldn’t be what it is today.”

  “Am I supposed to thank you for being considerate of my business concerns?” He clipped his words.

  She knew he wanted to shout. Hell, she wanted to shout. Being reasonable and calm wasn’t even on the list for how she wanted to behave.

  “No,” she said sharply. “You’re supposed to listen. You want to know why I didn’t come back despite months of silence and that stupid announcement. It’s because I grew up with a father who was rarely home. The few times he was, he spent closed in his office on the phone. He never played with me, never listened to my childish troubles, never attended one school event, never paid attention whether I was with him or not. He was so busy making money that it killed my mother. Before I could graduate from high school, he died from a
heart attack while on a business trip.”

  “And you thought I was just like him.”

  Open mouthed, Tam stared at him. Had she? It wouldn’t be odd if she had. Women tended to choose men very like their fathers.

  Yet when she and Con lived together, she’d been certain he wasn’t neglectful or indifferent. They’d been working hard and creating O’Neal Corp. all those months. She’d wanted the same success Con wanted and had achieved. They’d been like partners every step of the way.

  Recalling past events now, she realized Con’s total absorption in work and business throughout their time together had begun to undermine her faith in their continued relationship. She’d made terrible mistakes.

  She shook her head. “You’re nothing like him.”

  “Damn right. I never neglected you in all the time we were together. You were my partner, not just some intern; my friend, not just a lover. Keeping Susa away from me was a despicable thing. Why did you?”

  Resolved to stay strong she forced guilt down her dry throat. “I don’t have any excuses, Con. You’re not the only one who lost out over the past seven years. I haven’t had a relationship of any kind. Heck”—she gave a dry laugh—“I haven’t had more than a handful of dates since I left you.”

  “Gratifying as that is, it doesn’t begin to make up for what you did.”

  “And Susa. She suffered the greatest loss. For six and a half years, she hasn’t had any father at all.”

  “So much for protecting our daughter from fatherly neglect by not getting married. What do you propose to do to change things?”

  Tam pressed her hands to her temples. “I don’t know. When I saw you in Montana, I thought about telling you a dozen different times. I’ve thought about it every day since I returned home. I was afraid that you’d take Susa from me, so I just kept putting it off.”

  “You’re right to be afraid. I could sue for full custody and win. I could have you charged with kidnapping and fraud.”

  Her hands fisted and dropped. Her chin jutted forward. “Yes, you could do all of that. However, you’ll only gain Susa’s undying hatred if you try to separate us completely. Is that what you want?”

  “Dammit, that’s the last thing I want.” He thrust his hands through his hair.

  Her posture stiffened. “Then what do you propose?”

  “I think we should get married.”

  Tam goggled at him. “What? Don’t be ridic—”

  “Mommy.” Susa stood at the entrance to the living room staring at Con with one eye while rubbing the other with a fist. “Is he the Daddy you promised me?”

  Con grinned.

  Tam swallowed. She supposed he couldn’t help it. She went to kneel by her daughter. “Susa, not every man who visits us wants to be a daddy. Now what are you doing out of bed?”

  “I want a drink.” Susa looped her arms around her mother and looked past Tam to Con. “Do you wanna be a daddy for me, mister?”

  Tam stood, lifted Susa onto her hip, then started back to her daughter’s bedroom. “Let’s get you back to bed.”

  Con followed. Tam could feel his presence; she didn’t have to hear his footsteps.

  “I don’t know, sugarplum, but your mother and I are talking about it.”

  “Good.” Her daughter rested her head against Tam’s shoulder. “But hurry up please. I want a baby brother, and I can’t have one until after I get a daddy.”

  A blush heated Tam’s face. Thank heaven Con couldn’t see.

  Behind them Con chuckled. “If I decide to be your daddy, I might not want to share you with a baby brother right away.”

  Susa snuggled into Tam’s shoulder. She could feel her baby girl frown. “Mommy says it’s rude not to share, but if you want alone time with me, Mommy could watch the baby. Mommy says that everybody needs alone time.”

  “Your mommy is giving you good advice. I hope you listen to her.”

  Susa yawned. “I always listen ‘cause I want to be as smart as Mommy.”

  The three of them walked into Susa’s bedroom.

  “That makes you a good girl, and I know for a fact that daddies like good girls.”

  Susa lifted her head. “I’m the best girl. I know because Mommy always says so.”

  Tam bent, placed Susa on the bed, then tucked in the covers. “Say good night, Susa. Con, I’ll meet you back in the kitchen as soon as I get Susa settled.”

  “G’night.”

  “Goodnight, sugarplum.”

  Chapter Eleven

  In the kitchen, Con perused the contents of the refrigerator. All Tam’s favorite foods were mixed in with juice bottles and kid-sized healthy snack packs, including some of the Buddswell’s samples given out at the conference.

  He pulled out eggs, milk, and butter, searched for cinnamon, sugar, bread, and a skillet, then started dinner.

  “Mmmm. That smells delicious. Are you making french toast?”

  He looked up from flipping slices of bread soaked with milk, egg, and cinnamon. “Uh-huh.”

  “Thank you.” Tam warmed maple syrup in the microwave and set the table. They worked in an efficient silence that belied the tension in the air. Worry over how hard Con would push for marriage or custody had Tam wound so tight her shoulders ached and her stomach did flips. The only way to resolve the question was head on.

  She added a bowl of fresh fruit to the table as Con set a full plate at each end. She started to sit, and he pulled out her chair for her. “Thank you.”

  He sat in the opposite chair. “You’re welcome.”

  Three bites and Tam’s stomach was still jumpy. She set her fork down. “You can’t possibly be serious about us getting married?”

  Con was dead serious, but maybe Tam needed time to get used to the idea. “I don’t think we should get married right now.”

  She sat back in her chair and blew out a relieved breath. “Thank goodness. We’ve got enough to deal with figuring out how to explain things to Susa without adding marriage into the mix.”

  “What have you told Susannah about me? Surely she’s asked.” His heart raced with a combination of nerves, uncertainty, and hope.

  “I was pretty vague. So far I’ve just told her that the man who was her daddy couldn’t live with us, but that someday I hoped we’d find a new daddy.”

  Tam hadn’t told Susa anything. Con fumed. “Laying the ground work for your next lover?”

  Her eyebrows snapped together. “That’s uncalled for. I wouldn’t hesitate to have a relationship if the right man came along, but I’m not actively looking. I’m very careful about whom Susa meets.”

  He struggled to regain his calm. The last thing he wanted was to alienate Tam. Whether he could forgive her for keeping Susa a secret or not, if Tam got her back up, he’d have a fight on his hands. “What about that guy you kept calling from Montana?”

  “That was Susa and my aunt.”

  His eyes went wide. “But you said—”

  “No, you assumed. I just never corrected you.”

  “You would have had to tell me about Susannah,” he said with quiet disappointment.

  “Yes.”

  “Funny, I never thought of you as a coward.”

  She threw her napkin on the table, plunked her elbows on either side of her plate, and dropped her forehead into her upraised palms. “I’ve already admitted I was wrong. How often do you want me to say it?”

  “Until the fact that you did it stops hurting me.” His control snapped. His fork clattered as he tossed it onto his empty plate.

  They glared at each other until Tam abruptly sat up and attacked her french toast. When her plate was empty, she looked at Con. He hadn’t moved.

  “You know”—she cast him a sharp gaze and started to clear the table—“arguing about the past will gain us nothing but frustration.”

  “True.” Resigned, he acknowledged no quick fix existed to their problems. He washed the pots and pans. “But I have as hard a time with our present situation as I have with th
e past I don’t share with my daughter.”

  Tam finished loading the dishwasher, then dried and put the pans away. “I can’t do anything to change the past, Con, but if you really want to be part of Susa’s life then help me change the present.”

  “All right.” Apprehension leapt in his nerves. Tam wanted his help, but he didn’t think she’d like his suggestion. Nonetheless, if she was willing to talk things over, so was he. “I think Susannah needs to get to know me, before we break the news that I’m her father.”

  Tam hesitated a bit, resuming her seat at the table. “I can agree with that, but how?”

  “She could come to Chicago.”

  “Not without me, and right now I can’t afford to be away from my company for longer than a couple of days.”

  He’d known Tam would reject the idea, but this was the most important negotiation of his life. You didn’t start negotiating from where you believed you’d end up. You started with your biggest demand and worked toward a compromise you could live with. “That’s hardly fair. I have a company to run as well.”

  “Yes, you do. You could visit on weekends.” She uttered the suggestion with slow uncertainty.

  “I thought you didn’t want our daughter to have a part-time father?” He bent a narrowed stare at her.

  “Right, you’ll just have to stay here. When can you take time from work?” Her stomach did flips, and her face flushed at the thought of seeing Con every day. She considered him, wondering if he’d intended to back her into a corner.

  “I cleared my schedule for the next month. I have time now. I’ll go get my suitcase from the car.”

  He’d planned this, even when he knew nothing about Susa. He’d planned to maneuver himself into her daily life. Furious, Tam shot to her feet. “Wait just a darn minute. I never said anything about you staying in this house.”

  “Yes, you did.” He grinned. “You said I’d just have to stay here.”

  “I meant in Phoenix.”

  His face grew stern and hard. “That would make me as much of a part time father as living in Chicago and visiting on weekends.”