Engel's England

by Matthew Engel

  He wrote once about the special challenge of painting in Australia: ‘The light will not let you amalgamate the forms, whereas in Europe you have the unity emanating from floating skies.’ This most painterly of counties was, it seems, all too easy.

  Outside, the sky was floating across the Hindwell Valley and the campion was flourishing in the hedgerows. All over Herefordshire it was the sweet o’ the year. Near Putley, the apple blossom was out – less showy than the plum in Worcestershire but more trustworthy, and wild hops were clambering about abandoned hop yards. There was a serenade from linnets and blackcaps, with occasional interventions from the cuckoo, a bird that has got rarer in my own corner of the county these past three years. I suspect social services may have intervened, in disgust at its domestic habits.

  I waited for the weather and went up the Black Hill one more time. On this occasion the only other congregant was a gentle Labrador and we climbed in companionable silence, before 7, on a perfect May morning. The grass had a gentle anointment of dew and everything glistened. Below us was no patchwork – it was too green for that – but everything was already in its summertime splendour except the lazy ash. To the east there was a little grey fair-weather cloud of the sort that can make it hard to distinguish a mountaintop from the sky, but it was possible to look across to the Malverns whence I looked across to Herefordshire three years and thirty-nine chapters ago in a springtime every bit as gorgeous as this one.

  Then I braved the Hereford traffic and went into the cathedral – on a site that has been a place of worship since the eighth century at least: a span of 1,300 years. And by the tomb of St Thomas Cantilupe, the learned bishop of Hereford from 1275 to 1282, I lit two final candles for my children, the living and the dead.

  I thought about those 1,300 years and tried to think into the even more unimaginable future, 1,300 years from now. And I offered a sort of prayer: that there might then still be a Herefordshire to cherish. And an England.

  April/May 2014

  ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

  In my head, I am Barbara Cartland, who wrote 723 books and sold a billion copies of them. I have hundreds of ideas for books, but by morning I can’t always remember what they were.

  This one, however, has been in my head for thirty years or more. It emerged after a lunch with Andrew Franklin of Profile Books. He wanted me to do one book, which I was not then keen to write; I wanted to do another, which he was not so keen to publish. I think there was a silence over the coffee before I said, ‘Well, there is another possibility …’

  My first thank you is to Andrew for leaping on the thought and inspiring me to get Engel’s England out of my head, where it was serving no purpose, and on to the screen, page and shelves – and for much sagacious advice along the way, some of which I listened to. It has been a great pleasure to work with Andrew and the whole Profile team, especially Penny Daniel, Lesley Levene – a heaven-sent copy editor – Ruth Killick, Pete Dyer, Diana LeCore and Stephen Brough. Susannah English’s maps adorn the book. And none of this would have happened without the help and support of Marilyn Warnick and Christopher Lane.

  During three years of travel, I have always depended on the kindness of strangers, which has been remarkably forthcoming. I met large numbers of lovely people who were extremely generous with their time and their knowledge. Luckily, I also had a large network of strategically placed relatives and friends who were generous not just with their knowledge, but also their spare rooms. A special medal should be struck for Simon and Cindy Barnes, who had the decency to move house while I was in the midst of this book, so I could conveniently sponge off them while researching both Suffolk and Norfolk. A suggestion that they might like to move again to one of the counties I still hadn’t done was understandably rejected.

  Others who were kind enough to dispense shelter and sustenance were: Steve Barnett and Alexandra Marks, Steve and Alice Bates, John and Jan Beatty, Calum and Emma Byrom, Alexander Chancellor, Mike and Sue Chaplin, Hugh and Tess Chevallier, Simon and Karen Clegg, Kate and Daren Collis, Michael and Christine Davies, Andy and Judith Denwood, Jane Doust, William and Naomi Duffield, James and Lisa Engel, Richard and Liz Engel, Tony and Sally Engel, Julian Glover and Matthew Parris, James and Jenny Halse, Martin and Sue Hesp, Jon and Margaret Holmes, Susan and John Lloyd, Nick and Jane Mason, Andrew Nickolds and Catherine Hurley, Nick Pitt and Alison Lang, James and Rose Rouse, Rob Steen, Martin and Penny Wainwright, and Francis Wheen and Julia Jones.

  Hugh Chevallier and Christopher Lane were also both kind enough to read the proofs and make many helpful suggestions, as did my wife, Hilary. Hugh accompanied me on a couple of my adventures in Hampshire and Wiltshire; Anselm Shore tolerated me while I tentatively put one foot in front of the other up Scafell Pike; in Derbyshire I was lucky enough to have both Neil Hallam and John Beatty as erudite and companionable guides; and in Dorset I was delighted to have lunch with Sue Clifford, founder of the charity Common Ground, whose book England in Particular (co-authored by Angela King) was an inspiration as well as a source.

  I would like to thank everyone else who helped along the way, especially: Jonathan Agnew, Robin Aisher, Joy Allison, David Amess MP, Mike Amos, Jori Ansell, Lesley Archer, Bill Archibald, Chris Arnot, Mike Austen, Alex Balfour, Ian Ball, Matthew Banner, Ron Barker, John Barnes, Neil Barnes, Rupert Barnes, Julie Bartram, Mary Bayliss. Richard Beaumond and the audience at Bookworms (Shropshire), Roger Begy, Sir Alan Beith MP, Edward Bevan, Charlie Bibby, Roger Bingham, Brian Binley MP, David Bishop, John Blackburn, Gavin Bland, David Boothroyd, Dr Karin Bottom, Jane Brace, Billy Bragg, Steve Brenkley, Isobel Bretherton, Allan Brigham, John Bright, Terry Broomfield, John Brown, Sir Peter Brown, Emrys Bryson, Charlie Burgess, David Burnett, Andy Canning, Amanda Carson, Douglas Carswell MP, Andrew Charman, the late George Chesterton, Kitty Chevallier, Professor Carl Chinn, Sue Clarke, Tony Clarke, Christine Cleaton, Tim Cockin, Dick Cole, Pat Collins, Anthony Collis, Mike Coombes, Ted Corbett and Jo King, Sir Neil Cossons, Nigel Costley, Paul and Polly Coupar-Hennessy, Joe Cowen, Dr Pam Cox, James Coyne, Bernie Cranfield, Professor Mick Crawley, Caroline Cunningham, Stephen Dalzell, Paul Davey, Max Davidson, Hunter Davies, Patricia Davies, Ron Davies, Garth Dawson, Glen Dawson, Tim de Lisle, Graham Dines, Paul Dixey, Carolyn Dougherty, Simon Duke, Harry and Christina Dunlop, Dick Durham, Gary Eastman, Philip Eden, John Edgeley, Simon Edwards, Chris Eilback, Keith Elliott, Simon Fanshawe, Tim Farron MP, John Florance, Martin Forwood, Steve Francis, Linda Frost, Jane Full, Chris Game, Andrew George MP, Anthony Gibson, Sarah Gibson, Patric Gilchrist, Dr Jonathan Godfrey, Angus Graham-Campbell, Russell Grant, Rob Guest, John and Evelyn Gulliver, Steve Hancorn, Charlotte Hanna, Mike Harding, Robert Hardman, Kay Hardy, Norman Harris, Clive Hay-Smith, Tim and Penny Heald, Simon Heffer, Catherine and Michael Held, Bill Hensley, Ian Herbert, Francis Hicks, Professor Michael Hicks, Sue Hicks, Brian Hill, Keith Hodgkins, Derek and Doreen Hodgson, Nicola Holland, John Holmes, David Hopps, James Hosking, Professor Mike Huggins, Carl Hunnysett, Mark Hurrell, Asaf Hussain, Matt Jackson, Paul Jackson, Tom and Sally Jaine, Brian James, Terry James, Conor Jameson, Peter Jinman, Richard Johnston, Barry Jones, Robert Jones, Jonathan Kindleysides, Bill Kirkup, Steve Knightley, Christine Knipe, Monty and Pat Kutas, Dr Bill Lancaster, Mark Lawson, Helen Leadbeater, Philippa Lee, Dr Elisabeth Leedham-Green, Harry Legg, Steve LeMottee, John Lewis, Lieutenant-Colonel Nigel Linge, Danny Lockwood, Professor Malcolm Longair, Steve Lowe, Rev. Nicholas Lowton, Hugh Lupton, Steven Lynch, Bryan McAllister, Tony McWalter, Sean Magee, David Makinson, Vic Marks, Rob Marris, Chris Marshall, Rodney Masters, Bob and Joan Mawson, Dr Terence Meaden, Rev. Alan Middleton, Tim Minogue, Brian Montgomery, Jo Moody, Rhodri Morgan, Charlie Morris, Rod Morris, the late Gerald Mortimer, Paul and Lynda Needle, Bryony Neirop-Reading, Charles Nevin, Pete Nichols, Geoff Nickolds, Mike Nixon, Richard Norris, David Northwood, Gerry Northwood, Janet Oldroyd-Hulme, Julian Orbach and Kate Pawsey, Maggie Osborn, Marc Oxley, Jim Page, Maggie Papas, John Paulo, Professor Philip Payton, Harry Pearson, Andy Peebles, Profe
ssor Chris Perrins, Barbara Piranty, David Powell, Rev. Jemima Prasadam, Gordon Prentice, Trevor Pressley, David Prothero, Rick Pushinsky, Janet Quier, Andrew Radd, Mike Raj, Don and Sue Ransome, Fiona Rawlings, Dr Barrie Rhodes, Peter Rhodes, Keith Richardson, Canon Mervyn and Sue Roberts, Chris Robinson, David Robinson, Paul Robinson, Stuart Rose, Alan Roxborough, Very Rev. Michael Sadgrove, Professor John Salt, Ken Scott, Carmela Semeraro, Chris Simmonds, Keith Simpson MP, Professor Gurharpal Singh, Keith Skipper, Wendy Skirrow, Dan Sleat, Rex Sly, Alison Smedley, Sir Tim Smit, Giles Smith, James Smith, John Snowdon, Richard Spiller, Jon Spira, Laura Spira, Ian Standing, Jeff Stanyer, David Stead, Alan and Sue Stennett, Jack Straw MP, David Summers, Diana Syder, Bruce Talbot, Shirley Tart, Robin Tatlow, Very Rev. Michael Tavinor, David C. Taylor, David J. Taylor, Chris Thomas, Norman Thorpe, Rev. Tom Thubron, John Thurston, Angela Tidmarsh, Professor Tony Travers, Adam Trimingham, Dr Nigel Tringham, Professor Peter Trudgill, Peter Tuke, John Tye, Professor Clive Upton, Wendy Varcoe, Rev. Mike Vockins, Father Geoff Wade, Lyn Walsh, Ben Ward, David Ward, Pam Ward, Michael Watkins, Ruth Watkins, Margaret Watson, Paul Weaver, Dr Ian West, Andrew Whittle, Peter Wilbourn, Very Rev. Bob Wilkes, David Willis, David Wilson, Julian Winder, Robert Winder, Chris Witts, John Woodcock, Bernard Wrigley, Derek Wyatt, Gordon Young and Gary Younge. With apologies to anyone I have inadvertently omitted or, almost as bad, misspelt.

  The staff of the British Library and London Library were always helpful, and the Association of British Counties’ website was a far more accurate guide to the real boundaries of the counties than the confused information available elsewhere. The Inn Signs Society have kindly helped with pictures. I have also been grateful for the company of the Radio 4 newsreader Kathy Clugston, the Ulster-flavoured voice on my satnav. Without Kathy, I would never have known which way to turn on each ‘roan-de-boat’. Sometimes I shouted; and I had to cope with one county (Nottinghamshire) without her when she got left behind. But no matter how much she was provoked and abused, she did not grumble, sulk or answer back.

  Finally, and above all, my thanks go to my wife and daughter, Hilary and Vika, who avoided almost all the journeys. They phlegmatically tolerated my absence and, even more trying for them, my presence. Without them, I wouldn’t be anywhere at all.

  A NOTE ON PICTURES

  Most of the pictures that serve as a motif for each chapter were taken by the author, which may explain a lot. But I have been very grateful for help filling in the gaps.

  The picture of the Stewartby chimney (Bedfordshire) is from adarkertrantor.co.uk. The Inn Sign Society kindly provided the pictures for Devon, Cheshire and Somerset.

  In many cases the setting of the picture will be obvious from the photo or mentioned in the chapter. But readers may be interested in the whereabouts of some of the others.

  Chapter 3 (Surrey): The cricket scoreboard is in the village of Normandy.

  Chapter 5 (Devon): The Tom Cobley pub is in Paignton.

  Chapter 14 (Oxfordshire): Bicester Shopping Village.

  Chapter 15 (Cheshire): The Cheshire Cat is at Christleton.

  Chapter 17 (Derbyshire): The Quiet Woman is at Earl Sterndale.

  Chapter 21 (Buckinghamshire): A shop window in Eton High Street.

  Chapter 22 (Leicestershire): Melton Mowbray.

  Chapter 26 (Northumberland): Marshall Meadows.

  Chapter 28 (Cumberland): This delightfully demotic notice was near Buttermere.

  Chapter 30 (Somerset): The Ancient Mariner is opposite Coleridge’s cottage in Nether Stowey.

  Chapter 31 (Lincolnshire): Near Boston.

  Chapter 36 (Shropshire): Ellesmere.

  Chapter 39 (London): Kensington. Of all places!

  Chapter 40 (Herefordshire): This bull is above the front door of the Hereford Cattle Society offices and is not to be confused with the one peeping into Ann Summers’ window.

  That leaves the opening chapter, which is a bit problematic. Both my memory and the date on the picture insist that I must have taken the picture in Worcestershire, presumably in a churchyard. But I failed to remember or note the village and, though I have pestered just about every vicar and church official in the diocese, no one has yet come up with the answer. If you know, matthew@matthewengel.co.uk would be delighted to hear from you. The solution, if it materialises, will be on the matthewengel.co.uk website, along with corrections, updates and quirky matters arising.

  INDEX OF PLACES

  A

  Ab Lench 4

  Abbots Bickington 55

  Abbots Bromley 423–4

  Abbotsbury 330, 394

  Abingdon 395, 398

  Abinger 28

  Accrington 241–4, 250

  Acocks Green 154

  Aldeburgh 166

  Alderley Edge 185

  Aldershot 228, 230–32

  All Stretton 454

  Allaleigh 59–60

  Allendale 315–16

  Allhallows 197

  Allhallows-on-Sea 197–8

  Alnmouth 316

  Alnwick 315, 316

  Alton 421

  Alton Towers 418–21, 424–5

  Ambion Hill 273

  Ambleside 218

  Amersham 259

  Anderby Creek 383

  Andover 228

  Appleby-in-Westmorland 67, 215, 218

  Ascot 399, 401

  Ash 28

  Ashington 323–6

  Askern 41

  Asterton 459

  Atch Lench 4

  Avebury 356–7, 363, 375

  Avon xv

  Aylesbury 259

  Aylsham 412, 415

  Aylton 516

  B

  Bacton 522

  Badby 484

  Bagshot 28

  Bagwyllydiart 514

  Bakewell 206, 209

  Bampton 176–177

  Barking 443

  Barlaston 421

  Barlborough xiv

  Barnoldswick (‘Barlick’) 90–91, 100, 240

  Barnsley 87

  Barnstaple 137

  Barrington 374

  Barrow-in-Furness 218, 252–3, 346

  Barsby 276

  Basildon 436–7, 448

  Basingstoke 227, 228

  Bath 281, 353, 368–9, 377, 389

  Batley 97

  Bayswater, 494

  Beachy Head 106–8, 110, 113, 114

  Beaconsfield 253

  Beaminster 337–8

  Beauworth 228

  Beckton Marshes 443–4

  Bedford 18–21

  Beeby 276

  Bellingham 316

  Belper 209

  Berkeley 66

  Berkhamsted xviii, 183, 283, 286

  Berry Brow 88

  Berwick-upon-Tweed xviii, 71, 312, 316, 320–22

  Bethnal Green 506

  Bexhill-on-Sea 110

  Bicester xviii

  Bicester Village 175–6, 214, 221

  Bigbury 54

  Billericay 437, 438, 439

  Birchwood 522

  Birkenhead 183

  Birmingham 5, 27, 137, 147–51, 154–7, 428, 497

  Bishop Auckland 45

  Bishops Cannings 362

  Bishop’s Castle 459–60, 461

  Bishops Stortford 283

  Black Country 5, 87, 421, 426, 427–8, 431, 456

  Black Hill 511, 513, 522–3

  Black Mountains 511–12

  Black Ven 338

  Blackburn 242, 250

  Blackhall 44–5

  Blackheath 191

  Blackmore Vale 329

  Blackpool 95, 185, 245–8, 269, 413

  Blandford Forum 337

  Blatherwycke 483

  Bletchley 21

  Blubberhouses 89

  Bodenham 516

  Bodmin 132

  Bognor Regis 111, 388

  Bolton 238–9, 250

  Bonsall 209

  Booton 408, 411

  Borrowdale 218

  Boston 383, 387–8

  Bo
tany Bay 308

  Bourne 379

  Bourne End 400

  Bournemouth 161, 228, 228–9, 246, 322

  Bovey Tracey 55

  Box Hill 23, 24, 108

  Boxmoor 283

  Bradford 80, 84, 86, 88

  Bramble Bank (the Brambles) 222–5, 227

  Bramley 28

  Brassington 207

  Breckland 410

  Bredon Hill 11–12

  Breedon on the Hill 277

  Brentford 301

  Brentwood 437, 439–41

  Bridgnorth 459

  Bridgwater 369, 372

  Bridlington 80, 89, 91

  Bridport 337

  Brierley Hill 422

  Brighton 105, 111–14, 330

  Brinsop 516

  Bristol xii, 290, 353, 373, 512

  Bristol Channel 370

  Brixton, 498, 501

  Broadland 407

  Broadstairs 189, 198

  Broadway 5

  Brogdale 194

  Bromsgrove 5

  Bruton 374

  Buckingham 259

  Bucklebury 397, 400

  Budleigh Salterton 50–51, 60–62, 164

  Bugle 139–40

  Bulford 358

  Burford 176

  Burnham Market 408

  Burnham Thorpe 408

  Burnley 91, 242

  Burton-on-Trent 421, 425, 426–7

  Bury 250

  Bury St Edmunds 375

  Buxton 206, 208

  Byfleet 28

  C

  Camberley 28–9

  Cambridge 173, 464–5, 467–70, 472, 495

  Cannock 425

  Canterbury 189–90, 191, 195, 198

  Canvey Island 185, 439, 442, 444–5

  Cardington 21 Carlisle 214, 216, 316, 347

  Carnforth 253

  Carrawburgh 314, 315