“What the fuck are you doing here? What the fuck are you doing with my sister? You sick fuck!” I yell again.
“Payton, what the hell’s wrong with you. How do you know Ozzy?” Evan screams back, tears threatening to spill from her eyes.
“No, no, no. This can’t be happening,” I whisper to myself. I close my eyes, praying this is one of my nightmares. I reopen them, but he’s still there. This is no nightmare—it’s my reality. I tear out of Ryder’s arms and run over to Evan, gripping her tightly by the shoulders.
“What’s going on? Why’re you freaking out and acting like a crazy person? I thought you were happy for me,” she says.
“Did you let him fuck you?” I spit out.
“What?”
“Did. He. Fuck. You?” I yell again.
“That’s none of your business!” she screams, clearly pissed off with me.
“It is my fucking business. Now answer me,” I shout, shaking her.
“What does it matter?” she asks, her voice quivering now.
“He fucking raped me. That’s why!” I yell at her, gripping her arms tighter. “Did he fuck you?” I ask in a panic.
The room’s eerily quiet. Everyone’s staring at me, but I only have eyes on my little sister until Jack growls, “What the fuck did you just say?” This makes me look over at him, and I see Jack pressing Ozzy harder against the wall looking like he’s going to shit his pants. Jack then turns to Ozzy. “Did you? Did you fucking rape her?” he hisses.
“Fuck no. You can’t believe anything that cunt says. She was our high school’s token slut. She’s just pissed because after I slept with her, I wouldn’t touch her again. God knows what I would’ve caught from her since she slept with half of the student body,” he chokes out, Jack’s arm still pressing hard against his throat.
“You lying piece of shit! Tell them. Tell everybody about how you and your two buddies drugged me at a party and raped me. You took away my virginity and then convinced the entire school that I was a slut!”
My sister’s legs give way, and she falls to the floor, her body heaving in sobs. Cade picks her up and holds her to his chest, whispering something in her ear. He carries her down the stairs, taking her away from this fucked up craziness, and that’s when I realize I just got my answer. He fucked my sister. He … fucked … my … sister! That monster ruined my life and then fucked my sister—my beautiful, innocent sister. I start screaming as I charge toward him. “I’m going to fucking kill you! You told me if I kept my mouth shut you wouldn’t touch Evan or Ella. You fucker!”
I’m stopped from making it to the bastard by an arm hooking me at the waist. I turn around ready to rip the person who’s keeping me from killing one of the men that ruined my life. It’s Devon, and his expression is hard as he stares down at me. I break down crying as he holds me to him, and I realize my life just shattered again. He fucked my sister. Oh God no.
“What?” Ryder asks, when he absorbs the words I just said.
“Fuck that, she’s talking bullshit!” Ozzy shouts at both Jack and Ryder.
“If she says it happened, it fucking happened,” Jack grits out, his arm still pushing hard against Ozzy’s throat. “I’m going to tell you this one time. Stay the fuck away from our girls. I can’t do shit now, but know this motherfucker. I’m coming for you and those other two twisted fucks,” he threatens, before his fist slams into Ozzy’s face, spraying blood everywhere.
“She’s nothing but a whore who spreads her legs for anyone. And Ella’s probably no fucking different being friends with a slut like that!” he spits out, blood spraying out of his mouth.
Then chaos breaks out.
“Shit!” Devon shouts before letting me go and rushing toward them. Other people join in trying to keep Ryder and Jack from killing Ozzy.
“Jack might not be able to do much, but I’m going to fucking gut you!” Ryder barks, equally enraged.
“The cops are here!” I hear someone else calling out.
I can feel my legs getting weak. Then everything goes black.
Chapter 16
The Morning After
I feel pressure on my chest and then feel something pressing between my legs. My eyes flutter open, and I see a naked Jarod on top of my naked body, and he’s gripping his erection trying to guide it into me. “Jarod, what’re you doing? Get off of me! I scream, moving my arms to his chest, trying to push him off of me. He doesn’t budge.
“Come on, Payton. You know you want it. Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you’ve looked at me over the past year. Admit it. You want this as fucking much as I do.”
“No, I don’t want it. I’m a virgin. Please stop,” I plead with him. I did want it, but not like this. Something feels wrong about the whole situation. I’m sure he’ll stop now that he knows I’m not feeling this with him and let me up.
“Not gonna happen. We won the game tonight, and we’re horny as hell and want to celebrate. You’re gonna help us celebrate.” It takes a minute for my brain to register what he’s saying. Wait, hold up. Did he just say ‘we’ and ‘us?’ As I’m thinking this, I feel two sets of hands grabbing my limbs. One pair is holding my wrists above my head, and the other’s holding my ankles, keeping my legs spread. I look up and down and see two of his teammates, Andy Brooks and Ozzy Pike gripping me. They, too, are naked. I start thrashing, but my weak limbs are useless against three large muscular athletes.
I open my mouth to scream for help, but Jarod stuffs a sock in my mouth to muffle my screams. “No one’s gonna hear you over the music, bitch!” he snarls at me. Then with one sharp, stabbing thrust of his hips, he rips away my virginity. I scream out in pain, but like he said, no one hears my pleas for help. “Shit! Bitch is tight,” he informs his buddies.
I lay there, choking on sobs as Jarod’s body ruts against me until he finds his release. I hear him grunt into my ear and feel his body shudder then still. He pulls out of me, trading places with Andy, who climbs on top of me and bites one of my nipples so hard that he draws blood. He licks the blood away, removes the sock from my mouth and kisses me, so that I can taste my own blood on his mouth. I try to bite his tongue, but he pulls back and replaces the sock. He, too, forces himself into my already abused sex and starts the process of getting himself off. I think I’m in shock and having an out of body experience because I’ve stopped crying and am no longer struggling. I figure if I lay still, it’ll be over sooner rather than later.
“Fuck, I’m coming!” Andy yells out as he climaxes. He stays inside me for a couple of minutes then says to Ozzy, “Oz, dude, you’re up next.”
The bedroom door flies open and someone is looking in at what is going on. I spit the sock out as relief floods through me. “Help me, please,” I cry out.
“This is what you are Payton; this is you,” the voice yells. Oh no, that’s Jack. I try and get out from under Andy, but he won’t budge, waiting for Ozzy to take over. I try to get up again, but Ozzy’s there.
“Dude, shut the fucking door, or join us and fuck this dirty cunt,” Ozzy growls.
“That’s okay, man, I’ve had my fill,” Jack says. He turns, shuts the door, and disappears.
Gone, Jack left me.
I sit up in bed, screaming. Looking around I realize that I’m in my bed at home. How the hell did I get here?
“Payton, Payton, it’s okay. You’re okay,” Jacks soft voice wraps around me.
“W … W …” I stammer, “What are you doing here?” I ask.
“You’re okay, Payton. You passed out, and I brought you home,” he says while lightly stroking my back. The entire night’s events flash before me, and I suddenly feel nauseous. I pull back from him and scoot to the other side of the bed not wanting him to touch me.
“You … you don’t have to stay, I’m okay. You can leave now,” I tell him, picking at some loose lint on the bed. Feeling the mattress dip closer to me, Jack takes my chin in his fingers.
“Look at me, bella,” he demands, but I can’t
do it. I can’t see the disgust that he’ll have toward me now. Realizing what this means, I start sobbing uncontrollably, hugging my knees to my chest and burying my face into my hands. Jack moves again and climbs behind me, wrapping his arms around my body, kissing the top of my head and the back of my neck. I try to move out of his grasp.
“You don’t need to do this. I know you want to go, so go,” I cry, wanting this to be over so I can figure out what to do next.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says, tightening his hold on me.
“Why? Why would you want to stay, Jack? I’m a mess and a whore!” I yell, irritated that he won’t go and let me be.
“Why wouldn’t I?” he asks confused and irritated.
“Just go, Jack! Please. I know you can’t look at me the same anymore. I know you don’t want me. I knew it was coming, I wished it wouldn’t, but it did. A lot sooner than I hoped.”
“Payton, you need to tell me what happened. I need to know what they did to you,” he pleads.
“I can’t, Jack. I can’t take you there with me. Not to my dark place, you don’t deserve that, you deserve better,” I say. He flips me around so we are face to face.
“Nothing can ever change how I feel about you, Payton. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I won’t let some messed up assholes change that.” Brushing my hair out of my face, he leans in, placing a soft kiss to my forehead. “Don’t let them have this, Payton,” he whispers.
I curl into him, absorbing the feeling of being safe and cared for. I know I have been cared for all my life, but never by a man that didn’t have to love me. Thinking about family and love, I remember that Evan was there and what she found out. Oh God, Evan!
“Where’s Evan?” I panic.
“She’s with Cade at his place. She’s safe, baby; he’s not going to get near her or you ever again. They’re going to pay, I can promise you that,” he assures me.
“I need to see her. She needs to understand that I didn’t mean to hurt her, Jack. I hurt my beautiful baby sister. That bastard promised me that he wouldn’t touch her. As long as I kept my mouth shut, he wouldn’t touch her or Ella. I never told anyone,” I plead with him to believe me.
“I know you didn’t, but now you have to. I need to know what happened so we can get you the proper help that you need,” he tells me.
I pull back to look at him “I can’t. You’ll never want to see me again,” I whisper.
“I can guarantee you that I will—I’ll want to see you every day for the rest of my life.”
I know I have to tell him. He deserves to know what he’s getting messed up with. I try moving back from him to make a little room between us, but he pulls me back placing his arms around me.
“Stop trying to put space between us. I’m not going anywhere.”
I huff and begin telling him about what has been following me around, haunting me, for the last seven years. Watching the emotions constantly change in his face, I walk him through my living nightmare.
“Jesus Christ, Payton. Fuck, I’m going to kill them. No, no I’m not, they’re going to go to jail, and spend the rest of their lives being Big Daddy’s Bitches,” he states firmly, which brings a slight chuckle out of me. This is a lot easier than I expected it to be. Jack never once looks at me with disgust. He simply holds me and repeatedly tells me that it isn’t my fault, and that they had no right to do what they did. When someone says no, it means no. I want to tell him the rest, but I don’t know how he’ll feel about me if he knows the whole story.
“Did you go see a doctor after?” he asks softly.
“No …” I hesitate.
“Is there more? Did they do it to you again?” he asks.
“No, they never touched me after that one time. They just made sure everyone knew I was a slut in school like they told me I was, so I lived it up. I slept with guys just to make people think I was a slut. Sex never meant anything to me … until you,” I stop and look down.
Jack takes my chin in his fingers, “You’re not a slut, and you never were. You’re an amazing woman, with a really big heart. Look what you hid to protect your family. That shows me how strong and brave you are, but now it’s time for you to do what should’ve been done a long time ago. You need to file a report and help make sure that it never happens again. Just remember you have people here to help you along the way.”
He needs to know; he needs to know that I’m not as good as he thinks.
“You asked if I went to a doctor after what happened. I didn’t until ten weeks later. I went to school one day and started to get sharp pains in my stomach and a lot of bleeding. I just thought I was having my period, but it got so bad that I had to leave school. I didn’t want anyone to know, just in case something came out about what happened. So I went to the free clinic. The doctor asked me a few questions and then did an examination and informed me I was having a miscarriage. Jack, I had their baby inside me,” I cringe and hold my stomach.
“Baby,” he whispers, stroking my hair and hugging me to him, giving me the support that I desperately need, that I never knew I needed. It helps me finish what I have to say.
“Even though I hated them for what they did to me, I don’t know if I would’ve been able to make the decision to have an abortion. That baby would’ve been a part of me, too, and I think given time, I would’ve loved him or her, but I was relieved when he told me I had a miscarriage because the choice was taken away from me. I look at Ella, Ryder, and their babies, and I know because of what happened I’ll never have that kind of beautiful,” I cry into his chest for the loss of something I’ll never get to experience. One more thing they took away from me that night.
“Trust me, Payton. When this is all over, and you finally get the help you need and begin to heal, you will change your mind, and you’ll have your happy ending. I’ll make sure of that, whether it’s with me or not, I’ll make sure you’re happy,” he says.
I look at him in shock. This man, this beautiful man before me wants to make sure that I find my happiness. That warms my heart, and I know that I’ll never be happier than I am when I’m with Jack. I want to let him know that I love him, but I don’t want it tainted by all of this. I want it to be amazing.
“So where do we go from here?” I ask, wondering what to do for help.
“First, we’re going to lie here, and we’re going to sleep in your bed. Then tomorrow you’re going to talk to Evan and Ella. They’re both worried about you. Hopefully, we’ll get you some counseling, and you’ll be able to start moving forward with your life. You need to talk about this shit with someone that doesn’t have a personal connection to you.”
Jack lifts me up and puts us under the covers. Crawling in beside me, he wraps me in his soothing embrace where I finally crash after a very emotional and stressful night.
* * *
The next morning, Jack cooks us breakfast and tells me that Cade’s going to be dropping Evan off shortly. He also calls a very worried Ella to inform her that I’m okay, and she says she can’t wait, she has to come and see me right away.
Twenty minutes later, the door flies open and Ella comes running over to me. With tears freely falling from her eyes, she throws her arms around me, sobbing. I return her embrace, which makes me cry, too. The next thing I know we’re on the floor still holding tight to each other.
“I’m … I’m so … sorry, Payton. I should’ve known that something happened to you. No, I knew something happened to you, but I never thought it was anything like this. I tried so many times to get you to talk to me, and you wouldn’t. I don’t understand,” she cries.
“I couldn’t, Ella. They were going to hurt you or Evan, and I couldn’t let that happen. You guys are way too important to me. I couldn’t let them do to you what they did to me,” I tell her.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m your best friend—I should’ve known,” she repeats.
I can hear faint voices coming from another room. Jack must be
talking to Ryder.
“It’s okay, Ella. You have nothing to be sorry for. It was my choice, and I thought I made the right one at the time. If I had to go back, I would make the same decision again. I would never let that happen to you,” I vow. “Cade’s bringing Evan here in a bit. I need to talk to her. I know I hurt her last night. God, what a fucking mess I made of things.”
“Payton, she’s more worried about you than about what happened last night. She loves you, don’t ever forget that,” Ella says.
“I know,” I say getting up off the floor and heading to the living room window where I see a sleek dark blue Mustang pull up to the curb. Cade and Evan are sitting in the car and, if I’m not mistaken, they look like they’re … fighting? What the hell?
Evan reaches out, opening the car door, but he grabs her arm pulling her back to him. He’s saying something to her, but she manages to pull free and runs from the car.
“What the fuck?” I yell, running to the door. Swinging it open, I look at Evan as she approaches. “What the hell was that? Are you okay? Did he hurt you? I’m going to fucking kill him,” I say.
“No, he didn’t hurt me, Payton. He was just making sure I was okay. Nothing happened,” she says, trying to calm me down. I put my arm around her shoulder and walk her into the house and tell everyone that is staring that it was a misunderstanding. I guess I’m a bit on edge with everything that’s gone down.
Jack tells me that he and Ryder have a few things that they need to take care of, so they’re going to leave us all to talk. Walking over, he places a sweet and tender kiss on my lips making sure I know he still wants me.
After they’re gone, the silence is killing me, and I know this needs to be over with.
“I’m sorry, Evan. I didn’t mean to hurt you last night.”
“What do you mean, Payton? You didn’t hurt me. My God, he raped you. You were just trying to protect me. I wish I had known,” she says, silently crying.
“I know, but you looked so happy when you were telling me about your boyfriend. I wanted that for you. When I saw him I last night, I lost it. I couldn’t tell anybody about what they did to me, Evan, because they said they would go after you guys, and I couldn’t have that. I’m sorry. I love you both, and I never wanted anything to happen to you two,” I say, wiping the tears that keep falling. I must be making up for years of nothing.
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