Panties for Sale

by York, Mattie

  Be strong? Alex thought. How can you be strong when you are sitting naked in a locked room with a man who could break you in half with his bare hands? “But honey,” Angela had asked when Alex had calmed down, “I hate to bring it up, but how was it? I mean, if you didn’t mind it, most guys do ask for it nowadays. It is extremely popular. And it’s not such a big deal, right? It’s quite safe as long as you wear a condom. I can change your profile, if you liked it?”

  Alex took another sip of Perrier and looked around the restaurant to see where Martial had gone. She found him laughing and shaking hands with a few other men dressed in business suits. Martial caught her eye and raised his glass to her as he lifted up his cell phone to show her that he was making a call. He winked and waved her and Chieko over.

  “I can’t. No, I can’t do this. I’m sorry,” she looked back at Chieko. “I’m sorry. I can’t stay here. I have to go.”

  “Now? Are you ok? You haven’t finished your soup. And your meal?”

  “Don’t worry,” Alex threw a hundred dollar bill down on the table. “I’ll pay for it. Let’s just leave. Now.” Chieko had barely time to put on her coat before she saw Alex disappear out the door. She apologized to the hostess and hurried out after Alex.

  32

  Diary,

  God damned Alex! That Mr. Jerome called and wanted to see her again. And she said no. To me! And I offered her double the fee. She did! That stuck up spoilt bitch! She said no because he went in the back door. She said no to him and he did it anyways. And he said that I said he could. Stupid manipulative fuck. But how, how is this my problem? What is Alex thinking? Who does she think she is?

  I told her men like that shit. And she is a sexy girl. Dumb spoilt bitch!!!!!!! This was important to me. Damnit! I paid for that appointment. On the house for Mr. Jerome. She was supposed to please him. I told her to look damn good. I needed that! Movie business contacts. Hollywood bloody north! Goddamn it. I hope she didn’t cry in front of him. She said she didn’t, but who can be sure. God damn it. I’ll have to call Mr. Jerome and smooth these things out. What a cocky bastard saying that I said it was ok. Well, what can you expect? These men are going to say what they can. What is the big deal anyways? I don’t understand. It’s all the same. Sex is sex is sex. So it hurts a bit. It only hurts for a while. She’s got to relax. Men are going to want to do that to her. Again. I’ve already had a few men asking about that. She just sounds like a priss for not doing it. I mean, he did wear a condom. That’s about all she can ask for.

  Oh dear. Angela. Be nice. Fine. Fine. No, she’s right. She shouldn’t have to do things she doesn’t want to. Hello? She’s a bloody escort. Fine. I don’t understand the gaul. Why does she get to choose? If I ever so much as said no to my agency when I was an escort. Especially for something as silly as that. I wouldn’t get work in weeks. I hope she likes to starve. If only she wasn’t’ so damn popular. But I guess, well anal sex wasn’t actually that popular in my day. I didn’t have many requests for it. Men used to be more, gentlemanly. If that’s possible.

  And what is Chieko doing? Stupid nut. She called me last week crying that the men I booked for her were mean to her. That they were bullies and ordered her around. And she wasn’t comfortable. But then the crazy twit shows up to Mr. Nimbin’s appointment in black leather throwing around a whip. I laughed my ass off when Mr. Nimbin told me. What is going on with these girls? Why can’t they be normal like my other girls?

  Ha! Like my other girls are normal. Like Althea with bigger tits than brains. Crazy girl just told me she is saving up to get another boob job. Can you imagine? Here she has the biggest tits I’ve ever seen. Her tits are already so big she can barely walk. And the only job she can do is one flat on her back. But one of her client’s said he would like them bigger. And he is going to pay for them. Well, he said he would come see her enough times to pay for them. Stupid fucker. So not only does he get more sex, he gets a girl to pay all of her earnings on bigger boobs to impress him. I hope to hell she’s not gunning for marriage or some shit with this man. He really doesn’t have that much money. Not as much as she thinks he does. I tried to tell her. She is ruining her body. She is only 28 but she looks like hell. We had to cake her face in powder for her photos and her tits have these purple awful lines up and down them. Bloody hell. Stretch marks from being too massive. What the hell will she look like when she is my age?

  Now my crazy ass therapist. Luann. Actually she has pretty nice tits. She could work for me. Men would love her, in her peaceful, nurturing sort of way. Yeah, she is pretty, in that plain natural way. Of course she doesn’t wear any make up and her hair is just flat and stringy. But with a box of Clairol and a stick of Loreal, we could make her look real nice. Lots of my married clients would pay just to have someone to talk to. Especially if she didn’t judge them. And helped them with their problems. I wonder if she thought about that? Healing the men that go to escorts. But then, if I sent them to her, I wouldn’t have a business anymore.

  But there are so many god damned fucked up men in this world, she might not even make a dent. Why is that? What causes all of these men to cheat on their wives? Shit. I just need to ask my own husband. Well that’s fine. The man is entitled to cheat. He just better stay the hell off my property. Fucker.

  And now, he says he wants the boys. Can you believe that shit? Ha! They are mine. I am the only mother they know. And how can he have them? He is a bloody sex addict. I don’t think he really wants them. I don’t think he cares that much. I think he wants my money. Shit. That is a slippery slope, because well, a lot of my business is cash and I haven’t been so forthcoming with the government. That bastard knows too. He knows if we go to court, they’ll have to know about my business. Damn him. He should be repenting. What kind of sleazebag has sex in the back of his car while his kids are at hockey practice?. I’m not worried. It’ll work out. I’ve got Dora and she’s a bloody gold mine. She’ll figure out the books and make them look on the up and up. I pay taxes. Of course I do. And I keep track of everything. No, yes. It will be fine. I’m not ashamed of what I do. Right? Yes, I am proud of me and my business.

  So, I made some decisions. I did. Actually, I sat in front of my mirror last night. Yep. I did. Pulled it off the wall and just sat there and talked to it. I did what Luann said. I looked deep in my eyes and said I loved you. And then I got real. I made a plan. Me and me. I decided that’s it. This marriage is over. But I’m keeping the boys. They are mine now anyways. I don’t care what the birth certificates say. I’m not sure what I’m going to do, but I think I’m also going to get out of this business. I think it’s causing me stress. I only see the worst sides of people. The worst possible side of men. And I can’t live like that.

  There are nice people out there. There are nice men somewhere. Right? There are normal things to do. I’ve made a lot of money. So I’ll make some more as I plan what to do next. I’m not leaving today. Hell no. But it’s an idea. I got a lawyer, for the divorce. That’s it. I want out period. I think he’s living with the secretary. I thought she was married but Dora told me she saw them at Macdonald’s. I don’t know what that girl is thinking. He’s just looking for another meal ticket. Someone’s shoulder to cry on about his stupid dead wife. Bless the dead. But seriously, I met him 7 years ago. And he still cries at night for her. Was I not enough? Are his boys not enough?

  Bloody Ahmed. Now, what has gotten into his head? Yesterday he came up to the office with flowers. He said I needed something to make me smile. What a crazy ass! Last thing I need is another man. I told him to get to work finding himself new clients, not trying to sweet talk his employer-ess.

  Speaking of fools. Luann is now telling me that I have to be nicer to my body. Love my body. Pamper it. She wants me to use this oil on my body every day. Ok, she’s nuts. Stupid fucker.

  But you know what? She sent me to this massage place. I don’t know some Indian lady. It was nuts. The lady had me strip down and covered me with oil. And then she dripped
a bowl of oil over my forehead. At first I thought the lady was insane. But when the hot oil was dripping on my head. Wow. I was in total peace. I don’t even know where I went. All my cares just went away. Vanished. My brain flew somewhere. It was crazy. I was actually lying there covered in oil for an hour. Oh, but it felt so good. That Indian massage lady is a magician. I shouldn’t call her that. I know. It’s not Indian. It’s ayurvedic, or something like what. Whatever it is, she was right on the money. My skin is softer than a baby. And my cellulite- gone. Even my face, you wouldn’t know my husband is a sex addict and we are getting a divorce. I look as young and rested as I have in years. You wouldn’t know that I am 45 at all. Honey, I’d pass for 35. I may have to go for a massage every day for the rest of my life. It is the most luxurious invigorating thing I’ve ever done.

  I have to go visit Robbie’s teacher tomorrow. He’s in trouble for fighting. Of course he is. He’s damn pissed that his dad is gone. I would be too. Poor kid. It doesn’t seem to bother Joe as much. He keeps quiet. But I know he’s upset. Tonight when I was tucking them in you know what he said? Bless his heart. He said he didn’t care who came or went as long as I was here to say good night to him every day. God, I love those boys. I know I could be a better mom. I could take them to the park more, spend more time with them. But you know they are nice kids and that’s down to me. I taught them to respect others. And that Joe is a firecracker! Straight A’s this year. I can’t wait to see what he does with his life. Might finally have a university graduate in the family.

  You know, on my way home from my massage, I stopped on the corner to buy a pack of smokes. And I didn’t. Can you believe it? I walked right past the convenience store to a Starbucks and bought myself a cappuccino.

  Yes, that’s right. And I sat in the window, with my notebook and my cappuccino. Ha! I looked like a writer or something. One of those intellectual people that sit up there. And I wrote a list of all the things I am thankful for. I don’t know why. I just felt like it. I don’t know what gave me the idea. Luann told me when I was upset to say thank you really quickly for two minutes. But I tried that and it frustrated me. Thank you for what? I need to assign my thank yous. Oh and it was so fun. I thanked everyone I could think of. Angela, really you are blessed. As Luann says, the universe is magnificent. And it will always bring good to me. Angela I love you. Namaste (that’s what my massage lady said Namaste. She says it as hello and good bye. I like it.)

  List of Thank Yous

  By Angela Cruikshank

  Thank you for my cappuccino. Thank you for Starbucks for making it for me. Extra foam. With chocolate shaker things. Thank you for chocolate. God, thank you for chocolate. Thank you for the farmers that pick the cocoa bean in Africa. Thank you for the coco bean for growing. Thank you to Hershey and Nestle for bringing the chocolate to me. Thank you for me for stopping and ordering it instead of smokes. Even though, it’s almost as much money as my small pack of Du Maurier lights.. But it’s healthy, right? Thank you for my Indian massage lady. Thank you for the oil. What did she say it was? Ayurvedic oil from India. Thank you for the people in India for making my oil. Thank you for India. Ha! That’s an Alanis Morisette song. Man, she was ahead of her time, eh?

  Thank you for India though, for inventing this massage. Thank you for Luann. God. Thank god for Luann. She is my rock. I have never felt so good in my life. Thank you for Althea for telling me about Luann. Thank you for my body. Thank you for my manicurist. My nails look superb. Thank you for the people that make this nail polish colour, Obi? Thank you for the people that invented acrylic nails. Thank you for the farmers in where? Africa? That farm the rubber from the trees. I think that’s what goes into my nails, right? Thank you for the rubber. That definitely goes into the bottom of my shoes. Thank you for Payless for making these sexy shoes and selling them cheap. So I can buy more of them. Thank you for Walmart. Thank you for Jordache for these jeans. Thank you for Jones New York for this sweater. Thank you to the Walmart Family for creating the store that sells everything, cheap. Thank you for Loreal and Clariol for making the best hair and makeup. Thank you for all the small factories in China that make all this stuff. Thank you for the young children who go to work to make this. Really though, they should be in school.

  33

  Alex took a sip of the cognac Joseph had insisted on ordering for a night cap. She really didn’t think that he could look any more handsome but here he was, dressed in a black Armani suit with his hair slicked back and smelling of warm musky spices. Alex was intoxicated but she couldn’t be sure if it was the rich amber brandy rushing through her body or merely sitting near Joseph, so close, that was setting every inch of her body on fire.

  “Joseph,” she murmured.

  “Yes my darling,” Joseph reached across the table for her hand and wrapped his warm fingers around hers. Alex could practicality see tiny sparks of electricity shoot between them.

  “Tell me more about Tunisia.”

  “Tunisia? That is a strange question. What is it you want to know, my Alexandria?”

  “Everything. It sounds so exotic. Did you know that they filmed Star Wars there? The original one. God, I love that movie. Luke I am your father,” she lowered her voice in her best, very bad Darth Vader impression.

  “Really?” Joseph laughed, “I don’t know about that.”

  “No, really. It’s true. In your dessert, is that in the South? There is a town called Tataouine. It’s just sand for miles around and the houses are small sand huts, almost like in the movie. You know where Luke Skywalker grew up.”

  Joseph looked curiously at Alex. “And how do you know this, Alexandria?”

  “Oh,” Alex blushed, “I googled it.”

  “You are looking up on me?”

  “No, I just wanted to know more about your country. I was curious.”

  “Ah, Tunisia,” Joseph sighed, a far away look in his eyes. “Ok,” he smiled at Alex, “I will tell you a famous story. It is so famous it is written on a wall in the palazzo, the square, is that how you say it?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, there once was a very wise man. A king. He was a very good king. He was kind and fair. He made many good laws and helped the people; everyone both poor and rich. His kingdom became a land of riches and wealth. Everyone that came to visit this country thought it was the best place, the most beautiful place in the world. And it was all because of this very good king. But there was one problem. The king was single. He had no wife. And this was not good. A king,” Joseph paused to kiss Alex’s hand, “must have a wife. It’s not that the king didn’t want a wife. He did. He wanted to get married. But, he was very straight, very exacting, how you say? He did not want to marry just any girl. He wanted to marry the perfect woman. Oh there were many beautiful women in his court. Of course. Like you,” Joseph winked at Alex.

  Did he just say I was like the perfect woman? Alex smiled.

  “These women in the court, they liked to sit and play and dance and laugh. They loved to be pampered and to be adored. But this king, he wanted more. He knew that one of his men; maybe one of his teachers, in his court, he had a daughter. She was so beautiful,” Joseph lifted one arm and waved it in the air, to add emphasis to his story, “you can’t imagine. And she was smart, so smart. But she wasn’t interested in marriage. At all. She wanted to travel and to study. The king thought that she would be a good woman to marry. Yes. He thought he might like to marry her. So,” Joseph shrugged his shoulders, “what can he do? He is the king. He can order her to marry him. Of course, but no. He wants to win her heart. See,” he pointed to his head, “I told you he is a very clever king.”

  “So, he disguised himself. He pretended to be a man of the court, just a regular guy, and followed her around, every day, learning everything he could about her. The more he learnt, the more he liked her. He was sure she would be a very good wife. But he still wasn’t sure if she was the perfect woman. You see, he had never seen her without her clothes off and,” Joseph grinned,
“that was very important.”

  “One day, when the ladies went down to the river to bathe, the king hid behind a large rock. He sat for hours in the hot morning sun watching the ladies talk and play while they did the washing. When the washing was finished and the clothes were drying on the rocks, the ladies took off all their clothes and went into the river to bathe themselves. The king was shocked. He had never seen anyone so beautiful as the girl he wanted to marry. Her skin was pale like honey, without any marks. Her breasts were round and beautiful like melons. Her stomach was so white and smooth. White, like you,” Joseph smiled at Alex. “The king was so excited he could hardly think. He almost gave away his hiding spot. But, he was not the king for nothing,” Joseph chuckled. “No, he was very clever. He gathered his wits about him. He crawled out from behind the rock and stole the girl’s clothes. Then he shouted out to her. I have your clothes and I will not give them back. You will have to come out and get them. He was quite a how do you say, a rascal, no? The king knew if she came out to get them, he would be able to see her close up, in all her beauty.”

  “The other ladies were shocked at the king’s behavior and quickly ran out of the water screaming. They grabbed their clothes and ran back into the city. But the king didn’t care. He wasn’t interested in them. He only wanted to see the one girl. But she refused to come out. She was still sitting in the water. And so he sat on top of the rock and waited.”

  “Please,” she called, “give me my clothes.”

  “No,” the king said, “you have to come and get them. And, I won’t give them to you unless you agree to be my wife.”

  “No, I will not,” the girl shouted. And so they waited a long time. The girl sat in the water and the king sat on the rock. All day they sat.

  “Come,” the king said, “it is very hot.”

  “No,” the girl said, “I will not.” It passed lunch time, and still neither moved. Then it started to get dark.