Panties for Sale

by York, Mattie

  Chieko’s phone rang and she dropped Jay’s hand to dig it out of her bag. It was Angela. She paused, looking at the ringing phone, realizing that this was her life now. Angela calling every day to set up appointments with to have sex with random men. “Dame,” she muttered and threw the phone, back into her bag. “Oh Jay,” she turned, “I can’t. I’m sorry, but no.”

  “Huh?” Jay looked at her in surprise. “I don’t understand, Chieko. Do you want to go out with me or not?”

  “I am sorry, no,” Chieko bowed her head and stepped away not wanting to look Jay in the eye. She turned and hesitated for a moment and then, watching the traffic, ran across the street. When she looked back over her shoulder, Jay was still standing, on the sidewalk, watching her, his coat wide open blowing in the breeze.

  37

  “I love the way you think,” Joseph brushed a strand of hair away from Alex’s face, tucking it neatly behind her ear. They were lying together on the bed in Joseph’s suite, watching the clouds float by in the clear blue afternoon sky, too comfortable to get up. “It’s the way I want to think but, it’s not the way my country thinks. It’s not how I am supposed to think. I want to think like you,” he said rolling onto his stomach. “You are so open and honest, so, how do you say, innocent?”

  “Innocent? You think I’m innocent?”

  “Yes, you always think good of people”

  “Of course, because people are good, if you give them a chance.”

  “Not everywhere,” Joseph shrugged. “It’s different in my country”

  “How so?”

  Joseph sighed and rolled back onto his back and rearranging the pillows behind him. “In my country, men and women don’t hang out, as you say. But it’s nice. Women stay at home. Only men can go to the café and smoke and drink and talk. It’s good. They don’t have to worry about their women. They know their women are safe. Did you know,” Joseph turned to Alex with a grin, “it is not allowed for women to sit in the front seat of a car. They must sit in the back.”

  “You’re joking. What if they want a good view?”

  “No,” Joseph shook his head laughing, “that’s not important. Women must sit in the back seat so men aren’t tempted by them.”

  “What?” Alex was stunned. “That is so stupid.”

  “No, it’s the law. But it’s not what you think,” he looked up at the ceiling. “My country is not so strict. Women don’t have to wear scarves over their heads. And the president made a law that men are only allowed one wife.”

  “Oh, that’s important.”

  “But, the women like it this way. They like their lives. It’s true, really. You see, they see your Hollywood movies, they watch Sex and the City. But, they don’t want that lifestyle. Why? They say; I have a beautiful house and a nice husband who kisses me and gives me presents, why do I want to live in a small apartment and have to worry about money and stress and not get presents. No they say, the American life is too hard, and it’s not worth it.”

  “Right,” Alex said slowly, not sure how to respond. Alex sat up and arranged her pillows behind her then leaned back against the head board with a sigh.

  “I know,” Joseph seemed to read her thoughts, “I know. I told you, I like the way you think. It’s just not how my country thinks. But, I like you,” he leaned over and kissed her shoulder, “and I love your mind,” he kissed her arm, “and you make me so happy, you can’t imagine.” Alex looked down at him as he kissed her hand and rolled her eyes. She couldn’t help but laugh, he was so adorable sometimes.

  “So, tell me, would you be tempted if a woman sat beside you in the front seat of a car?”

  “Ah,” Joseph wrapped her up in his arms, “I would if you sat beside me. If you wore a short skirt? Yes,” he clicked his tongue, “I would. Don’t you see how tempting you are?”

  “How many women have you been tempted by then?”

  “What do you mean? How many people have I slept with? No,” he shook his head, “this is a bad idea.”

  “Why?” Alex laughed. “No, it’s not.”

  “Yes it is. I tell you then you are upset because it is too much.”

  “I won’t get upset. Look at you. You are handsome and successful, and what, you are 40 now? You must have slept with quite a few women.”

  “Ok, I have.”

  “And?”

  Joseph paused and looked up to the ceiling. Alex watched as he counted. Finally, he turned to Alex, “85.”

  “85?” Alex was shocked. She had no idea it would be that many. Maybe he was just trying to impress her, exaggerating the number. But why would anyone think such a large number was impressive? But wait. He’s 40. So give him what, 20 years? That’s only 4 a year or so. But wasn’t he in a relationship for a few of those years? He had to have been. He wouldn’t be single that whole time. And how did he count so fast?

  “And you?”

  Alex smiled at Joseph. What should she say? She didn’t want him to think she was an innocent virgin; well she wasn’t anyways. She wanted him to think that she did know what she was doing. He was paying for her expertise, after all. But, she paused to count. Wow! Shit. She hadn’t thought about it, for a while, but her number was growing very quickly. Before she had started escorting, her number had been 8. She knew that. But then, there was Joseph, Mr. Lomax, Martial, Mr. Frankel, Mr. Town, Mr. Weinsberger, or something like that, that weird skinny guy, the businessman guy. No, Mr. Nimbin doesn’t count; no intercourse. There were two others the last week, but what were their names? She could see their faces. Then, Mr. Walker, Mr. Stephenson and Mr. Ho, then the American guy, and the cigarette guy, whatever his name was. No, the cigarette guy was Mr. Stephenson. OK. Alex thought for a moment. God, was that it? No, she was sure there was more, of course there were more. She’d been escorting for 4 months now. But she didn’t want to get up and look through her appointment book. Oh, Mr. Comeau. Forgot about him. Shit. 25. Wow. That was enough. She didn’t want to think about the rest, truly shocked at herself. At this rate, she thought she’d be hitting 85 herself and way before she hit 40. She couldn’t believe she had never thought about it before. She couldn’t say 25 though. That didn’t sound right. At age 24? No. “12.”

  “12? But that is a lot for a girl!”

  “Nice, Joseph. You can hardly talk, Mr. 85.”

  “Ok,” Joseph laughed, “who was your first? Was it your boyfriend in high school? I bet you were very popular. Yes? Like the pretty girls in the TV shows. Were you a - what do they call it? A cheer leader?”

  “No.” Numbers were still running through her head. What would her number be after 6 more months as an escort? She shuddered and turned back to Joseph. “I was more into sports. And actually, I didn’t have sex in high school. It’s true,” she laughed at Joseph’s surprised face. “I was kind of shy with boys. And I thought sex was really important. I had this crazy notion, that sex was almost sacred. That I should wait, until you know, it was true love.”

  “So, did you fall in love?”

  Alex laughed and shook her head. “No. I think I just gave up. In university, everyone was having sex and I guess I just got sick of wondering what the big deal was.”

  “So you and your boyfriend?”

  “No,” Alex shook her head. “One night, in my second year. I was at pub. It was a party for this international hockey tournament at my university. It was a big deal. All these teams came from around the world. And some of my friends played on my university team. So, a bunch of my friends went with me to watch all the games. Then all the hockey teams went out to our pub. Our pub was really small, so it was pretty exciting. We got all dressed up, you know, to impress the new blood.”

  “New blood?”

  “New boys. Different boys. Cute boys. Not just the regular friends we always hung out with. I had actually met some of the players after the game the night before. There was this one guy. He was really tall. He came right over and talked to me. I don’t know why. He just kind of zoned in on me. He was
a bit older, really mature. I wouldn’t say he was handsome. Maybe a little. He was the assistant coach from the German team, so he had this great accent. We kept making him say, ‘I must break you’, like from Rocky. I must break you.” Alex laughed at her lame Dolph Lundgren impression.

  “Anyways, the party sucked. All my friends hooked up really quickly, and I was left standing alone. So I left early. But, then when my roommate got home, she knocked on my door and woke me up. She said she had brought a present for me. I got up and went downstairs and there was that German guy I was talking to earlier. I was in my pajamas and half asleep. I went back up to my room and he just followed me. My roommate said he was looking for me as she was leaving, so she brought him home. He just walked into my room, and sat on my bed. We started making out and well, one thing led to another.”

  “But, he didn’t know? You know, it was your first?”

  “No,” Alex shook her head. “I didn’t tell him. I think he might have figured it out, because afterwards he was touching me and he made this sound like oh, and then he got really quiet.”

  “So then did he go?”

  “You mean leave? No, he slept over, and,” Alex said starting to laugh remembering the morning after, “he tried to have sex with me again in the morning, but I didn’t want to.”

  “Why not? You didn’t like it?”

  “No, it was ok. Actually he was pretty good. But after we had, you know, sex the first time, we started talking and he told me that he was married and had a little boy at home. He said it like it was nothing. He actually said his wife was cool with him having sex when he went away on trips. He said she understood that he had needs. Can you imagine?” She looked down at Joseph. His eyes flickered. Damn, she thought. Why did she tell him all these things about her? “So,” she cleared her throat and tried to end her story quickly, “in the morning, I didn’t want him to touch me. I just wanted him to leave. I pretended to be asleep when he tried to have sex again. Finally, he gave up, got dressed and left. That’s it,” she shrugged again, wanting Joseph to know that it wasn’t a big deal.

  Joseph sat up and cupped Alex’s face in his hands. He leaned close and kissed her gently, small gentle kisses all over her face. Then he wrapped her in his arms and together they lay down, Alex slipping her head down to that hollow sweet spot just between his shoulder and his chest. She smiled as Joseph kissed the top of her head and sighed. She had never told anyone that before.

  38

  “Elixia. It’s your mother. Where are you? I’ve called your phone twice. What are you doing? Are you working today? Did you hear? Mary has lost 10 pounds! Can you believe it? She said she wasn’t on herbal magic, but I don’t believe her. You can’t lose that much weight that fast without help.” Her mother sighed, “Ok, call me back when you get this message.”

  Alex pressed 7 to delete and then turned back to Chieko. “I’m sorry. That’s just my mom. She calls all the time. What were we talking about?”

  “Do you ever wonder if it’s ok?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know,” Chieko lowered her voice, “what we do. Does it always feel ok for you?”

  “Oh god,” Alex laughed, “now you’re worried?”

  Chieko shook her head and looked out the window at the crowds rushing by. After a moment, Alex sighed. “Yeah, I know what you mean. At first I wasn’t sure, you know, if I could do it, or if it was right.”

  “Right?”

  “You know, would I be ok? I mean, I know I can’t tell my parents or my friends what I am doing. So, on some level it’s not right. But who says what is or isn’t right? Just because I think my parents won’t approve?”

  Both girls stared out of the window in silence sipping their Zen tea.

  “Like a few days ago,” Alex broke the silence, “I had this appointment with yet another old married man. I don't know, he just pissed me off. First, let me start off with saying, he was not handsome. And a gross kisser. And yuck, you know? Like he was proving something to himself by getting off with a young girl. You know. So anyways, afterwards we were talking. And he asked me what I did, you know socially. And why I wasn't in a relationship. And didn't my parents want to see me get married? I told him of course they did, but I was happy being alone. And then he said, get this, he said, well sure, you're not a vogue model, but you are pretty enough. You should be able to find some man to love you. That's what he said. Can you believe it?”

  “Men are assholes,” Chieko said

  “I know,” Alex laughed, “but this one, well it was odd. I was like huh? Like why did he have to go and say that? I wasn’t auditioning to be a model. I wasn’t asking him to marry me. What a dick! Especially since I had just let him fuck me, like a dog with him pushing my face down into the pillow. It was as if he felt too guilty cheating on his wife to look at my face while fucking me. So, this guy, this creepy old guy thought it was ok to pay me to please him and then when he got what he wanted, he got a conscience? Then he decided that what I did was so bad that he could look down on me? Like he, this pathetic dick head, thought he was better than me. Sometimes, these old married men just blow my mind. I am not betraying anyone. I am not cheating on anyone. Here I am, waking up early, showering, getting all dressed up, making sure I smell nice, look good, spending half my day to meet them, giving them my full attention, lavishing compliments and bullshit on him, pretending to like them and their pathetic dicks. Basically I am letting them use my body for their pleasure, like a rag doll and then they think they can turn around and look down on me? Or take pity on me?”

  Alex shook her head. “I can see why these men's wives won't sleep with them. Who would want to deal with these self-righteous bastards’ day in and day out? And to top it all off, they are actually fucking lousy lovers. Today,” Alex leaned closer to Chieko to whisper, “my client’s wife called during our appointment. It was so funny. He didn’t answer the phone. Just sat looking at it, watching it ring. She rang twice. And then he couldn't get hard afterwards. He ended up leaving early all stressed out. I think he thought it freaked me out because he apologized profusely. It didn't bother me at all. I got to leave early, I still got paid and I didn't have to do anything.” Alex laughed, “I need the wives to call more often!”

  “Somebody once told me that selling your body for sex was bad, like it was stealing your soul.” Chieko said.

  “I don’t know about that. But you know, when I'm with those clients, you know the old married ones, I don't even try. I don’t offer up any suggestions or anything. I just get naked and lie down and let them do what they will. It's too much effort to try something new. They get scared or critical or it just doesn't work. It's really funny. And really boring actually. Yeah,” Alex took a breath, “I don’t know. I don't feel bad after my appointments, just blah. You know, like what a waste of time.”

  Chieko smiled weakly at Alex. “Sometimes it feels weird to me too. I try to be nice and tell them they are strong and big. And well, they get all my attention, good attention. And all I do is try to please them, right? Like, they don’t even say thank you. And usually, I am with men I wouldn’t date at all. But I pretend that they are handsome or nice for the money.”

  “Yeah, I know,” Alex nodded, “I do that too. I totally do that. I don’t know what I’d do if one of my clients came up to me in the street,” Alex paused. “You know, I don’t understand men. If it’s so bad, why do they do it? Like before, they are all compliments and charming but then afterwards they get all moral, like we just made them do a bad thing. But, seriously? What is so bad? I’m making tons of money. And I hardly work. Look at us,” She looked down at all their shopping bags; Coach, Channel, Roots, MAC, Banana Republic, Sephora. “How much money did we just spend? And that’s no big deal. I won’t even miss it. Plus,” she smiled, “I have Joseph. He is so interesting.”

  “But what about when that’s over?”

  “Over? What do you mean over?” Alex put down her cup and looked at Chieko. “Me and Jose
ph aren’t over. I mean, if he has to leave on business or whatever, I’ll be fine. I mean, ok sure. I know it won’t last forever,” she picked up her tea and shrugged. “Anyways, why all these deep questions? Did you have another bad client?”

  “No,” Chieko shrugged, “not really. No, you are right, I am making a lot of money. And I have saved quite a bit. But, I don’t know, I can’t explain it well.” Chieko turned to face out the window, “this morning, I didn’t even want to get up. If I didn’t come to meet you, I would still be bed. I used to like to wake up early. I just feel so tired.”

  “Maybe you’re getting your period,” Alex shrugged then laughed. “Oh my god! I didn’t tell you,” she lowered her voice. “I got mine, with Mr. Sutherland.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “You know, my period? Um,” Alex tried to explain, “bleeding, once a month?”

  “Yes, I know period, but what do you mean you got it, on an appointment?”

  “I couldn’t believe it. I mean, I knew it was coming soon, but it was right there, bright red, all over the condom. I know!” Alex shook her head. “I hope Mr. Sutherland didn’t notice. I just pushed him down and took off the condom myself.”

  “But it just came? You don’t know when it comes?”

  “No,” Alex shook her head, “not really.”

  “Wait,” Chieko paused, “its bright red, right away?”

  “Yes. Why? Isn’t yours?”

  “No. I know exactly when it is coming. I mark it on the calendar. Anyways, it starts to drip brown drops a few days before, so I am prepared. I always change my appointments when I see the drops.”

  “Really?” Alex was amazed. She had thought everyone’s was the same. “I know I crave chocolate when its coming but,” Alex laughed, “I always crave chocolate. And then it’s just there. Bright red, thick blood. Sometimes, I’m lucky and I catch it when I go to the washroom. If not, it’s all over my pants. And then the cramps start. I get vicious cramps.”