Apollyon (Covenant #4)

by Jennifer L. Armentrout

  Memories of training together surfaced. I wasn’t sure if that was a benefit to either of us, because we anticipated each other’s moves and neither of us could gain the upper hand. I dropped and he’d be there to deflect. He moved for a submission hold and I escaped before he could lock me down. Blow for blow we went, and in the back of my head, I knew I could’ve called upon the elements, but I didn’t. Maybe it was all the pent-up rage from being caged for so long, and I needed the physicality of fighting. Maybe it was something else.

  Blood trickled from Aiden’s lip. A red mark bloomed across his jaw. His shirt was torn along the midsection, exposing a row of taut abs, but he didn’t show any signs of slowing down.

  Frustrated, I pushed off the tree, gained some air and twisted, realizing my mistake an instant after it was too late. As I spun, Aiden stepped into it, catching me around the waist and spinning me around. In training, I’d never been able to get past him this way. I should’ve known better.

  I tipped my weight forward and we both went down on our knees. I tasted blood, but Aiden hadn’t hit me. Not once. But my face had connected with his more than a few times.

  “Give up,” I growled, throwing my head back.

  His arms tightened around me. “You should know by now I’m not going to give up on you. You’re not that stupid.”

  “Can’t say the same thing about you.” I spread my thighs and gathered my strength. “You can’t win.”

  His breath danced over my check. “You want to bet on that?”

  I ground my teeth. “You can’t have me. I’m not—”

  “You’re not his, Alex. You don’t belong to anyone but yourself!”

  He was wrong, so wrong. I belonged to my Seth. I was created for him, only him, and Aiden was in the way.

  Rocking forward, I put enough space between us and powered to my feet, breaking his hold. Throwing my arm back, I caught him across the cheek with a closed fist. The impact bruised my knuckles.

  Aiden went down on one knee and spat out a mouthful of blood. “Gods.”

  Spinning around, I started running, ignoring the sharp pebbles digging into the soles of my feet.

  I made it about five feet before I was tackled from behind.

  Aiden pulled me up so that my back was pinned to his chest. “Leaving so quick? When the fun is just getting started?”

  “I hate you!” I struggled wildly, trying to dig into the ground. Loose dirt kicked up as I thrashed, becoming more like an animal caught in a net. Hours of training slipped away. “I hate you!”

  “You can hate me all you want, but it doesn’t change a thing.” He made it to his feet and started dragging me backward, and I knew he’d drag me all the way back to the cabin, to the cage. “I’m not going to let you do this to yourself.”

  I wiggled and threw myself side to side, but we were back to the cluster of trees within seconds. “You can’t stop me! You can’t do this!”

  “You don’t understand, Alex. You can’t be out here.”

  I elbowed him.

  He grunted but didn’t let go. “They’ll kill you. Do you understand?” He shook me. “They’ll come to kill you!”

  “I don’t care!” I screamed myself hoarse. “I need to go. I need to be with him.”

  Aiden sucked in a sharp breath and his grip loosened a fraction.

  Using my core, I pulled my legs up and the combined effort toppled us over. Aiden hit the ground first and rolled before I could break free, shoving his hands into my back, forcing me down. I got a mouthful of mud and grass.

  “Stop it!” he hissed in my ear. “This isn’t going to work, Alex. You may not care about dying, but I care enough for you.”

  “I don’t care! All that matters is Seth. If I can’t be with him, then I’d rather be dead.”

  “Do you even hear yourself?” His hands pressed into my shoulders. “You’d rather die than not be with him? Do you know how weak that is? The Alex I know would never feel something like that!”

  What he said reached deep and broke something inside me. Enraged, I planted my hands in the rich soil and felt the earth tremble. A great roar started below, and the ground buckled under us, rolling like stormy seas. We were thrown apart. I smacked into a tree and hit the ground on my hands and knees.

  Lightning pierced the sky, blinding me for an instant. Clouds rolled in, blocking the sun, and darkness fell. The skies opened and a torrential downpour pounded us.

  I didn’t know if it was me or something else. I was beyond caring. A giant ball of messy emotion settled in my stomach, unraveling with dizzying speeds. Anger. Frustration. Fear. All of it rushed me.

  Air whipped under me and I rose off the ground. Static charged. Sparks flew. The world was colored in amber tones. I wasn’t me. I wasn’t anything anymore.

  Aiden stood a few feet away, his silvery eyes fixed on me. A look of horror and awe marked his striking features.

  I was a god, like Seth had said. We were gods.

  Do it. Seth’s whisper penetrated my blood. It’s time.

  My feet touched the ground and I took a step forward—one, and then another. And Aiden didn’t move. He waited. It was in those eyes of his, the finality of this. He wouldn’t win, he couldn’t and he knew it. Aiden accepted it.

  As I reached him, the rain stopped and the clouds parted. The sun followed my footsteps.

  “Alex.” Aiden’s voice was broken.

  Like a cobra striking, I took Aiden’s legs out from under him and he was on his back before another breath could be taken. Straddling him, I placed my hands on his shoulders. The marks of the Apollyon glowed a vibrant blue and raced over my skin.

  I leaned in, placing my lips above his, and the words that came out of my mouth were mine… but weren’t. “All moments end, St. Delphi. And now yours has.” I pressed my lips to the corner of his and he flinched. “You are weak because you love.”

  Aiden stared up at me, unblinking. “To love is not weak. Love is the strongest thing there is.”

  My lips curved into a smile. Idiot.

  Akasha raced to the surface. My skin was on fire, I was on fire. Bright blue light formed over my right arm, circling it as it climbed down to my fingers. Light flared, intense and beautiful as it was destructive.

  Sunlight fell over us, and I reared back. Akasha covered my right hand. When I let it go, it would snuff out the life of everything in its path. There was death in that beauty. And Aiden made no move to defend his life.

  His eyes fixed on mine and he reached up slowly. The tips of his fingers, calloused over from years of training and fighting, grazed my cheek tenderly. “I love you, Alex. I always will.”

  I blinked. My heart stuttered. I couldn’t wrap my head around how he could say that, touch meso… so lovingly, seconds from death.

  Do it, Alex, and then we can be together. We’ll free the halfs—your father. We’ll change the world. You and me, Angel, we’ll be together always.

  My gaze fell between us. The rose necklace had slipped out, exposed by the torn collar of my shirt. A ray of light caught the deep-red crystal edges of the rose in bloom—such a delicate thing, crafted by the hands of a true warrior.

  Air left my lungs and my arm started to shake.

  We’re in this together, Alex, to the end. Those words weren’t Seth’s, but this was the end. My eyes burned like it was raining acid, but the skies were clear. I was seconds from freedom… but so much, so many memories started flipping through my head.

  I couldn’t stop staring at the rose.

  Images of the first time I’d seen Aiden while I’d been training with Caleb, then again when he’d come through the wall of fire and saved me—saved my life. Memories of his patience, his support, even his frustration with me.

  Seth called to me, but I swatted him away. These memories were important. They meant something—everything—to me, right? There hadn’t been any feelings attached to them before, but now they were soaked in emotion. I focused on them, remembering how he’d cared fo
r me after Gatlinburg, how he’d been there for me when I broke down after Mom… my mom. The first time he’d held me—kissed me. There was never any judgment in Aiden’s eyes, like I was his equal.

  I’d always been Aiden’s equal.

  My chest rose sharply. The day at the zoo washed over me, and then Valentine’s Day. The love we had shared. It had to mean something.

  I couldn’t breathe.

  I’d give it all up for you.

  Seth called for me again, but I was breaking apart. Shattering. Everything was coming undone. Pieces of who I used to be were repelled by what I’d become. The past and the present couldn’t coexist with the future.

  I was torn in two.

  Seth yelled now, his voice roaring in my head, and there was no escaping him. He was everywhere, in every cell and thought, pulling at me. But I couldn’t breathe and under me, he was under me, and I couldn’t think straight. There were so many voices again. So many different ones, some were my own… and I couldn’t think.

  I focused on the mental shields Seth had taught me. I needed a moment, just a second of silence to think this through, to understand why he wasn’t defending himself and how he could love me.

  Seth was furious. Pain sliced through my skull as if someone had taken an ice pick and started slamming it into my head, and I knew he hated this, but I needed time. He screamed for me, but I pictured those walls. They were neon-pink, bedazzled walls, and they went up, stacked higher and higher. I made them thick and full of titanium, topped them off with barbed wire and threw a nice little electrical fence over them, and all of that was backed by the power of the gods. A film of shimmery blue light draped over the walls.

  The cord snapped inside me, recoiling like whiplash, and then it was gone.

  Except for a low hum, there was silence, and it was just me now, alone with everything I had done.

  Tipping my head back, I screamed.

  Unlocked from the depths of my soul, it kept coming and coming. I couldn’t stop it. I couldn’t comprehend what I’d become—the things I had done. And when I stopped, it was only because my throat was raw.

  I scrambled off of Aiden, unable to look at him, because I… the things… Body trembling, I crawled over the muddy ground and tucked into a ball against a tree. Pressing my face to my knees, I dragged in breaths, but my chest ached and the pressure kept building.

  “Alex?” Aiden called out, his voice hoarse and ragged.

  I shied away, wanting him to leave. He needed to leave me, to run away as fast as he could.

  Strong hands landed on my shoulders and then slid over my arms, gently wrapping around my wrists. He pried my hands away, and even though I couldn’t bear to look at him, my eyes opened.

  It was like seeing Aiden after months of separation. He was clear to me. The curve of his broad cheekbones, the hint of dimples, and the strong line of his jaw—features I’d committed to memory eons ago. Dark waves curled over his naturally tan skin… skin marred by bruises and streaks of crimson. Bruises I’d given him, but he still held that masculine beauty that always undid me.

  Aiden shuddered, and then clasped my cheeks. His silver eyes searched mine. They were covered in a fine sheen—like tears, but Aiden never cried. “Alex… oh, gods, Alex, are you here?”

  I burst into tears.

  CHAPTER 7

  Yeah, I wasn’t going to stop crying anytime soon. These were the big, body-shaking, embarrassing kind of sobs. The ones I really couldn’t think or see around—Hell, even breathe around.

  Aiden held me through it, his arms a strange and grounding contact. He murmured words in ancient Greek. I picked up agapi mou several times, and the rest made as much sense as the words I tried to speak around the sobs. I knew that I’d be able to understand them now if I weren’t choking on my tears, but I could barely understand English at the moment.

  I soaked Aiden’s shirt.

  And he still held me against his chest as he leaned against the tree, smoothing back my hair, pressing his cheek against the top of my head. He rocked us. We both needed it, I think.

  There were footsteps and voices at some point and I stiffened in his arms. I didn’t know who came, but I felt Aiden shake his head, and then the footsteps retreated.

  Gods, I could think—really think—after what felt like forever. But every thought was overshadowed by the pain inside me. The sharp spearing I’d felt in the bathroom—I understood it now. My heart and my soul had been screaming out, trying to reach me. That pain was everywhere now, clamping down on me from all sides.

  I couldn’t escape all the things I said and done since I’d Awakened. From the moment I’d connected with Seth, I’d turned into a living, breathing embodiment of my worst fear and I hadn’t even realized it. Seth and what he wanted had consumed me until there had been nothing left, and I’d thought I was stronger than that.

  Oh gods, the things I’d said to Aiden horrified and sickened me. The things Seth had said he wanted to do to me—that I’d wanted him to do, back when we’d been connected… Now I wanted to crawl out of my skin, to shower for years, and I didn’t think I’d ever feel the same again even then.

  How Aiden could still hold me was beyond my comprehension. I clearly remembered threatening to kill Deacon about twenty times. My behavior had forced him to do the unthinkable—place me on the Elixir. I knew that had to have killed a part of him.

  I remembered all the little things. My Seth? Oh, yuck. I wanted to scrub out my brain with detergent. And those things I’d yelled when I fought Aiden—actually fought Aiden? Scrub my brain? Add mouth and soul to that laundry list.

  “Shh,” Aiden murmured, smoothing a hand along my back. “It’s okay. Everything is okay, agapi mou. You’re here now and I have you.”

  I gripped the collar of his torn shirt with my aching hands. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Aiden. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop.” He leaned back, but I followed him, keeping my face pressed to his chest. “Alex.”

  I shook my head, my breath catching on another sob.

  “Look at me.”

  Tears streamed down my face, and he carefully cradled my cheeks, forcing me to look up. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, but I also needed to see him, even if it was just his blurry face right now.

  “How can you look at me?” I asked. “How can you stand to touch me?”

  His brows furrowed and he became very serious. “How could I not, Alex? I don’t blame you for what happened. The things you did and said weren’t you. I know that. I’ve always known that.”

  “But it was me.”

  “No.” His voice was firm, eyes pure silver. “It was a shell of you, Alex. You were there, in the background, but it wasn’t you. It wasn’t the Alex I love, but you’re here now and that’s all that matters. That’s it. Nothing else does.”

  His blind faith in me, his acceptance and forgiveness, brought forth another round of waterworks. I cried so much that I don’t think I could ever cry again, and when it was finally over, I couldn’t lift my head from his chest.

  The sun was starting to set, and the temperature was dropping when Aiden pressed his lips against the top of my head. “Are you ready?”

  No, I wanted to say, because I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to face everyone. Besides turning into Evil Alex, I’d also been dopey, hiding-in-closets Alex.

  But I drew in a breath and it felt okay, good even. “Okay.”

  “Okay,” he repeated, and he stood, keeping me nestled close to his chest, my cheek resting on his shoulder.

  Aiden took one step, and a fissure of unnatural energy rolled down my spine—godly energy. The marks of the Apollyon roared to life, whipping over my skin. His arms stiffened around me as he turned, lifting his head to the sky. Gods could shield their presence if they wanted to—Apollo had for months—but we both felt the ripple of power.

  “This isn’t good,” I said, stirring in his arms.

  He placed me on my feet, his hands on my hips. One look into his storm
y eyes and I knew he was thinking the same thing.

  Before he could open his mouth, a high-pitched wail rattled the branches overhead. Air around us stilled, and then the sound of wings beating pulled the breath from my lungs in a painful rush.

  Aiden shoved me behind him—actually shoved me behind him. “Go back to the house now, Alex. The wards will keep them out.”

  What? And leave him? He was insane. Heart leaping into my throat, I shook my head. “No. No—”

  Another shriek turned my blood ice-cold. Then a great howl barreled through the trees, blowing my hair back from my face.

  The furies arrived, darting down to earth like heat-seeking missiles with “Alex” written all over them. Each hit the ground in a crouch, knocking up plumes of dirt and small pebbles.

  They were beautiful—the two furies. All pale and shimmering skin and long, flowing blonde curls as they rose simultaneously, their bodies moving sinuously as one stepped forward, her bare feet sinking deep into the soil.

  Thunder cracked the air and a flash of blinding light exploded. Throwing up my arm, I stumbled back and reached out for Aiden. Pulse pounding, my fingers wrapped around his thick forearm.

  When the light receded, a god stood between the two furies, and my heart felt like it stopped right then and there. I’d seen him before. Oh, gods, I’d seen him.

  Honey-colored hair brushed his shoulders, framing a square, defiant chin and features that were angelic and pure—peaceful, even.

  Thanatos.

  Electricity sparked from his all-white eyes. “I may not be able to kill you, Apollyon, but I can make sure you cannot reach the First.”

  “Wait!” Aiden yelled, one hand curling around the hilt of the dagger. “She’s broken—”

  The furies flew forward, luminous skin shedding away to reveal ghastly gray complexions that resembled corpses that had been floating in the water waaay too long. Long, glowing hair shriveled up and turned into tight coils that snapped at the air with vicious fangs around their skeletal faces. Claws formed—talons that could rip through bone and tissue like they were paper.