Love's Image

by Debby Mayne

  Shannon sat in the chair while her mother gave orders to Cissy, explaining what she wanted, which wasn’t what Shannon wanted at all. Finally, before Cissy’s scissors were anywhere near her hair, she stood up from the chair and turned around to face her mother.

  “Stop right now. I’m not five years old.”

  “Oh, sit down, Shannon. You’ve been through a lot lately. I’m just trying to help.”

  “Maybe so, but I don’t want my hair looking all fussy. I don’t have time to take care of anything elaborate.” Turning to Cissy, she added, “Just take an inch off the ends. That’s all.”

  A look of disapproval flitted across Cissy’s face as she glanced at Shannon’s mother, who shrugged.

  “Well?” Cissy asked.

  Her mother let out a heavy breath of exasperation. “Just do what she says. It’s taking a little longer to get over it than I thought.”

  Cissy lifted the scissors with one hand and pushed Shannon back down into the chair with the other. “Whatever. But next time you come here, you need to let me tell you what you need.”

  There won’t be a next time, Shannon thought as she stiffened with anticipation over having her hair trimmed. She watched closely to make sure Cissy did as she was told. The last bad haircut she’d had took months to grow out, and that involved wearing hats and tons of hairspray, which she hated.

  When the ordeal was over, Shannon managed to beat her mother to the front desk. She pulled out a wad of bills, but her mother was even faster, shoving money into Cissy’s pocket before Shannon had a chance to pay.

  Shannon tried to swat at her mother’s hand to keep her from paying. “I have plenty of money, Mom. You don’t need to pay my way.”

  They glared at each other, while Cissy stood there, waiting, for the first time showing patience. Shannon won the battle as she shamed her mother into backing off.

  “Don’t embarrass me like that again,” her mother said as they got in the car.

  Shannon sat, tight-jawed, forcing herself to remain quiet. She wasn’t in the mood to argue.

  Her father was waiting for them when they got back to her parents’ house. “You don’t look any different,” he said with a chuckle. “And I bet you paid a fortune to stay the same.”

  Shannon’s mom made some unintelligible sound as she stormed past him and headed for her room. He winked at Shannon.

  “Hey, Dad, what’s up with you two?”

  “Nothing with me, but I think your mother’s been suffering from empty-nest syndrome since you’ve been gone.”

  “I’ve been gone a long time.”

  “And your mother’s been acting like this the whole time.”

  They exchanged a look of understanding during a moment’s silence. Suddenly, Shannon remembered her idea about helping the family of the man who’d hit her. When she told her dad, his face lit up.

  “I’d love to help. Where do they live?”

  “North Carolina,” Shannon said.

  “That’s a long way for me to go.”

  “I know, but I’ll rent you a hotel room if you’re willing to do it.”

  “You don’t need to pay my way, Shannon. It’ll be my pleasure.”

  “Okay, then, I’ll send money for their bills,” she said. “Even if he had life insurance, I’m sure every little bit will help.”

  Nodding, her father agreed. “You’re right.”

  Shannon chatted with him for a few minutes over coffee before she stood. “I really need to go home now. The stress of driving totally wears me out.”

  He walked her to the door, where they hugged. “You turned out to be quite a woman, Shannon,” he said. “I’m very proud of you.”

  All the way home, she thought about her mother’s mood and realized there was something else going on. Depression, maybe? Whatever it was didn’t look good.

  When she got home, her answering machine light was blinking. The first call was from Janie. The second was from Judd.

  She called Janie first.

  “You are going to the Bible study, aren’t you?” Janie asked.

  “I’d like to, but after what happened last time I was there, I’m not sure I should show my face.”

  “Don’t be silly. Of course you should go.”

  “They’re going to think I’m a complete nerd for acting like I did.”

  “So? We all act nerdy sometimes. Get over it.” Shannon laughed. “Well, I guess I do have to face people sooner or later.”

  “Yeah, and what better place than where we’re all studying God’s Word?”

  Judd had called to ask if she wanted a ride to the Bible study. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted to go alone, with Janie, or if I could take you.”

  “Would you like to take me?” Shannon asked.

  “I’d love to.”

  “Okay, then it’s a date.”

  The second she said that, she felt like kicking herself. It wasn’t a date. It was just a ride to the Bible study.

  “Sounds good,” Judd said.

  At least he hadn’t made an issue of her faux pas. Shannon decided she needed to be more careful with what she said from now on.

  When Judd arrived, he looked her over, but he didn’t say a word about her appearance. She’d spent quite a bit of time getting ready, so she was a little disappointed.

  All the way to the church, Shannon chattered about getting her hair trimmed and seeing her parents. He listened but didn’t say more than an occasional “mm-hmm” and “that’s nice.”

  A few people were scurrying around, moving chairs, and getting the refreshments ready. A few of them stopped and hugged her, saying it was good to see her.

  “Good to see you back,” Paul said as he came up to her. “How’re you feeling?”

  “Much better.”

  Everyone in the room approached her at some point, both before the Bible study began and during the break. They were all concerned about her, and they expressed their gratitude that their prayers had been answered.

  All the studying she and Judd had done paid off. Not only did she understand everything they talked about, she participated as much as anyone else. With each comment, she felt more a part of the group. During the social time, when they talked about what was going on in their lives, Judd shared that he’d had a particularly rough day at school with some behavior problems. Shannon was relieved that she hadn’t caused his bad mood.

  When it was her turn, she talked about how she was overcoming her fear of driving. They all promised to continue praying for her recovery—mental, physical, and emotional.

  She appreciated all they were doing. And she didn’t doubt their sincere concern. The only problem was, she wasn’t sure if she truly felt God’s message like everyone else did. Was she just giving lip service, or did she actually “get” it?”

  On the way back to her place, Judd stopped at a light and turned to her. “Something’s bothering you. Wanna talk about it?”

  Shannon shrugged, thinking she’d be better off not discussing her doubts. After all, what good would it do to question the very fiber of what he believed in?

  “Not really.”

  “Okay, if you’re not ready, that’s fine. But I’m all ears if you change your mind.”

  He asked her if she wanted to stop off for coffee, but she turned him down. “I really need to get home. It’s been a trying day for both of us.”

  That was true, but what she didn’t tell him was that she’d been wrestling with her beliefs, until he’d picked her up. He let her off the hook for now.

  Over the next several weeks, Shannon went through the motions of studying and bringing what she’d memorized to the Bible study. It appeared that she had everyone fooled—everyone, that is, but Judd. She knew it was only a matter of time before he said something.

  “Something’s going on with you,” he finally told her one night after a long study session. “I’m sensing that you’re not as into this whole Bible study thing as you want everyone to believe.”

 
; “Don’t be silly,” she replied.

  He gave her one of his looks, reached out, and squeezed her hand. Then he hopped out of the car and ran around to her side to open her door. Shannon liked that about him—the fact that he was such a gentleman. Armand had been nice and polite, but it had never dawned on him to hold doors or let her go first. But then, he hadn’t grown up with parents who’d taught him to be a gentleman. He came from a long line of jet-setters, which meant he’d been raised by a series of nannies.

  That night, after she got home, she decided she needed to do some serious soul-searching. If she planned to continue with the Bible study, she felt like she owed it to everyone there, including herself, to believe the words that came out of her mouth.

  First thing she did was call Janie. It was hard, but she confessed what had been plaguing her.

  “I could tell something was wrong,” Janie said sympathetically. “Why don’t you venture out and find some scripture that speaks directly to you?”

  “Where do I start?”

  “Do you still have that concordance I brought over?”

  “Yes, that’s what I’ve been using.”

  “Then start with the word faith, and go from there.”

  “Okay, I’ll give it a try.”

  “Don’t forget to open and close with prayer. Ask the Lord to show you what you need. He listens.”

  “Thanks, Janie,” Shannon said softly. She knew she could count on her best friend.

  Shannon looked up all the verses listed in her concordance. She read Job chapter nineteen, verse twenty-five, and silently pondered the message about how it related to faith. Then, she moved on to Isaiah chapter twelve, verse two, which dealt with trusting the Lord. But it was the ninth chapter of Mark that really touched her heart, especially the twenty-fourth verse, when the demon-possessed child’s father said, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”

  Shannon thought about how she could relate to that situation. Until Janie had dragged her to the Bible study, she’d been caught up in worldly ways, which didn’t appear evil on the surface. It was much subtler, but the gentle tugs away from God’s Word had been there. The fame, the fortune, and the shallow relationship she’d had with Armand had been veiled attempts by Satan to pull her away from what was truly important in her life.

  An incredible feeling of understanding washed over Shannon. Although she knew she still hadn’t gone deep enough into the gospel message for a true understanding, she knew the Lord was speaking to her through His Word. Janie had been right. All she had to do was look to the only true message in this world, and the answers would be there.

  The following week, she got a little behind on the Bible study lesson because she’d taken a side trip in her own studies. However, no one seemed to mind that she didn’t participate. She listened attentively and made up her mind to get back on track with everyone else.

  Each week that passed brought more strength of conviction to Shannon. She did her lessons and allowed herself to get sidetracked to other verses when she needed a better understanding. If something wasn’t clear, she looked it up in the concordance. And then, if she couldn’t find what she needed, she called Janie, even though she didn’t always have answers.

  “You might want to call Pastor Manning. He’s a very wise man.”

  Judd had backed off to give her space, which she appreciated. However, she missed the warmth of his friendship and the way he made her feel inside.

  He still hadn’t rushed her or made an issue of her external beauty. In fact, after the first couple of comments about her looks, he hadn’t said a word about them.

  As much as she appreciated the space, Shannon couldn’t stand it anymore. She finally picked up the phone and punched in Judd’s number. His answering machine picked up after the fourth ring, so she left a message.

  Two hours later, he called her, panic evident in his voice. “You called?”

  “Yes, I was wondering if we could get together and study. You know, like we used to.”

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Yes, everything’s fine. Why?”

  He blew out an audible breath. “Oh, man, you had me worried. Your message said it was urgent and to call as soon as possible.”

  She hadn’t thought about how her message would sound, but she had wanted to talk to him soon. “I’m really sorry, Judd. It’s just that when I get my mind set on something, I don’t like to waste time.”

  “Don’t worry,” he said. “Why don’t we meet somewhere?”

  “I thought we could study here.”

  “Maybe it would be better if I met you somewhere, like halfway.”

  “Okay,” she said slowly. His tone had changed, and it worried her.

  Maybe being out in public with Shannon would keep his mind off his feelings toward her. All Judd had been able to think about since meeting her was how he was starting to fall head-over-heels for her. In fact, for the first time in his life, he understood what it meant when people said they’d “fallen” in love. That was exactly how he felt—like he’d fallen and couldn’t get up.

  They made arrangements to meet at the Dunk ‘n Dine, at her suggestion. “For old times’ sake,” she’d said. “We can eat pancakes until they’re coming out our ears.”

  Judd concentrated hard on the current week’s Bible study. He took turns with Shannon, looking up the answers. She smiled often, and he had to restrain himself, when all he wanted to do was reach across the table and touch her.

  At the end of the lesson, they agreed to meet weekly, since they were at the same level of understanding. Shannon hesitated, looking at him with questioning eyes, but she didn’t ask anything as she turned to leave. He felt like a piece of his heart left with her.

  Over time, Judd was able to be around Shannon and still focus on the Bible study lesson, but there were times when their hands brushed and he got a tightening sensation in his chest. It was a feeling of anticipation, of excitement, and of wondering if the other person felt it, too.

  Something else Judd had noticed was that Shannon’s scar had begun to fade. In fact, he had to look hard to see it, and the only reason he could was because he knew it was there. He wasn’t sure she was aware how it had almost disappeared, because she still, on occasion, touched her cheek with her fingertips. He wanted to reach out and cover her hand with his, but he didn’t dare.

  Judd delighted as Shannon’s faith grew and she became more confident in her knowledge of scripture. She had become bolder in speaking up about her faith, and when they had new members or visitors, she was often one of the first people to greet them. She didn’t hesitate to speak out about her newly discovered faith, and when they were in the question-and-answer part of their study, she spoke out as often as anyone else in the room. That also quickened Judd’s heart. He loved watching the transformation. He also knew that Shannon was responsible for his own faith growing to the level where it was. She’d challenged him by asking questions, making him study harder, and proving that a person could come from rock bottom to the top by allowing Jesus to touch her heart. Jesus had worked a miracle in both of them, something Judd was grateful for.

  “I have something special to discuss with you next time we get together to study,” Shannon said as they walked out to the church parking lot together. “I know you like to go to the Dunk ‘n Dine, but I was wondering if we could study at my place.”

  Judd thought for a few seconds before nodding. “Sure. That would be fine.” After all, he’d gotten used to the feelings she never ceased to awaken in him. He could manage the heart palpitations at her place as much as he could at the Dunk ‘n Dine, couldn’t he?

  The first thing he noticed when she yanked open the door was the twinkle in her eye that showed her mischievous side. She was up to something, he could tell.

  The instant he sat down, she plopped into the oversized chair across from him, tucked her legs under herself, and leaned forward. “We need to talk,” she said.

  Judd gulped. Wha
t had he done now?

  “Okay,” he said slowly, almost wishing they were at the Dunk ‘n Dine rather than her cozy living room. “What’s on your mind?”

  “I’ve got all this time on my hands, and I’m starting to get antsy. I feel like I need to do something.”

  “Any thoughts about what?”

  She shrugged. “I’ve thought about getting a job, but there’s not much I’m trained to do.”

  “You could always go back to modeling.”

  On cue, her hand flew up to her cheek as she shook her head. “No, I don’t think so.”