Languish for you (My soulmate)

by Daniel, Serafina

  Please, give me an Oscar, because this kind of acting the world have never seen, I said mentally, pleased with how easy it was for me to control my emotions in front of Avery. But for some reason I doubted if it be so easy when Christopher will stand in front of me, his lips tempting me to touch them again.

  “No,” she shook her head, suddenly being a bit paler. “Maybe he gave you something?”

  “Only knowledge, my tutor. He told me about how our world was created, what kind of purpose you and my protector have. Also, how bad people the hunters are. Please, forgive me if I did something wrong.”

  I could see in her eyes how shocked she was hearing my words, my tone. After all, during this short period with me, they saw me as a rebel, as a worrier, stubborn, brave and independence girl. Maybe stupid sometimes. Bet really, not like a girl I was in front of her now.

  She winked several times, trying to understand what was happening. I waited tolerantly for her to speak again. But she didn't open her mouth. She stood up and shot like a bullet out from my room.

  I glanced at Snow. She was on the table, licking her front left leg and ignoring me or what had just happened here.

  I rolled my eyes and was about to put my head back on the pillow when Avery returned to my room, pulling annoyed Christopher after her. And what you know, now I will be forced not only to ignore his red lips, but also and naked chest. Avery pulled him straight from the bathroom. How I knew that? Well, maybe the toothbrush in his hand gave me a hint?

  “I can't speak with her,” Avery pointed her finger to me. I looked at it with glassy eyes. “She seems to be in a trance or something like that.”

  I grinned, because I knew how to pour more oil on the flame.

  “Did I do something wrong, tutor? Please, forgive me. I don't want to offend you in any kind of way.”

  Christopher looked at me, then at Avery and again at me. He wore the same face expression as Avery; he was confused. Maybe he hoped that whatever happened to me yesterday, will have erased by the night, vanish from my head and I will be once again the pain in their ass.

  “You see? That was what I am talking about.”

  “Leave us,” Christopher said in low voice. Avery nodded and did what he said without a word. I was left with him alone.

  In my mind I started singing some kind of song in order not to pay any attention on his eyes, lips, chest, fingers...

  The birds are singing and the sun is shining. Everyone is happy and playing games...

  “What's your name?” he asked, still standing five feet away from me. He didn't trust himself to come closer to me. So, our feelings right now were mutual. Great.

  ...someone kicked the ball and it...

  “Vanessa, my protector,” I answered.

  “And your real name?” he put his toothbrush on the table.

  “I don't understand, protector. My name is Vanessa.”

  ...the dog is barking, the cat is smiling...

  “Look into my eyes and tell me your real name,” he said in austere voice.

  I lifted my eyes to meet his, the song in my head died.

  “I am Vanessa,” I repeated, but this time my voice was more lively.

  He destroyed those five steps and sat on my bed. His hands soon appeared on my cheeks, forcing my body to betray me, because soon I felt how hot they became. In his eyes I could see he was pleased that my body wasn't in that stage in which ostensibly was my mind.

  “Really, funny,” he said in the end, removing his warm hands from my face. “Now tell me, why are you acting like this? And before you open your mouth, keep in mind that I am not Avery. To fool her is easy, but not me.”

  “I don't understand.”

  Dammit, I cursed in my mind. He was good. But wait a minute, he could be only pretending to say that he knew that I was pretending. He was a cunning fox.

  “I will make it easier to you. See that cat,” he showed to Snow. I nodded without having an idea what he was trying to say me. “I will kill it in front of you if you don't tell me what happened. And believe me, I will do that. Not the first and not the last time when I had to kill something. But this time I will do it slowly.”

  Horror - that was what I felt. Now I didn't care about his lips, chest and so on. The only thing, which I had in my mind, was the fact that he wasn't kidding and he really could do that. To Snow.

  “So, what's your real name?”

  “I don't understand,” I said, controlling my voice.

  “Wrong answer,” he said and grabbed Snow by her neck. The cat started mewing.

  “Stop!” I said and jumped from my bed. I tried to rescue my kitty from him, but he lifted her up, that I couldn't reach her. He was really tall.

  “So?”

  “Asshole,” I murmured and hit my clenched hands into his naked chest. “Put my cat down!” I didn't control my emotions or my tongue anymore. He was hurting my little Snow. I wasn't so determinate to fool those two. So, I stopped acting. Well, it wasn't my vocation.

  “Ah,” he said pleased with his job. He gave me my cat back and stepped away. “So, what kind of plan did you try to pull here, Trinity?”

  He used my real name. Well, that had to mean something.

  “Not of your business, savage,” I put Snow down. She shot straight under the bed where Christopher couldn't reach her.

  “Well, it is my business.” He crossed his arms against his chest. “One minute you are acting normal, another you disappear, and on the third... you are acting like you are a robot. Is there some kind of contest how to piss off your tutor and protector? Or maybe you try to win the idiotic person's award?”

  “Well, everyone likes to win something,” I said, copying his stance. He noticed that.

  “You are unbelievable,” he said in the end, taking a deep breath.

  “And you are cute. But you should wear more clothes. What will our neighbors say seeing that naked chest of yours through the window? Soon there will be a line of girls.”

  He lifted his eyebrows up.

  “And why is that so bad?”

  Why did I even mention his chest? I slammed my head in my mind.

  I frowned. Seeing my face, he started laughing, but didn't dare to move closer to me.

  “Why did you...kiss me?” I managed to say the question which was important for me. Yea, I wanted him to kiss me, but he was the one to take first step. He was that one with more brain in his head and he still kissed me. That should say something.

  “I am...”

  “I asked you why,” I cut him off. “I don't want your apologies. I just want to know why.”

  He narrowed his eyes, taking a better look at me. I could bet that he tried to understand why I asked for his explanation instead of his apology.

  “And what if I say, that I don't want to give you one?” he spoke slowly, observing how every word of his affected me.

  “I liked your kiss,” I said openly. I felt how embarrassment was doing its dirty job with my cheeks. So, I quickly turned my face away from his eyes. “You are a good kisser,” the truth saved people. At least I believed in that and this time I decided to open my soul to him a bit. “It almost felt like I was kissing Tobias,” maybe I shouldn't have told that, but it was true. His kiss had the same effect as Tobias had on me.

  He didn't say a word. He just stood there, staring at me with his blue eyes. I didn't dare to meet them.

  The silence spread around us, planting fear in my mind. Maybe I said to much to him? Maybe I shouldn't have even started this conversation? But if he didn't want to tell me why he did that, I still wanted him to know that I wasn't angry with him and that I liked that kiss.

  “I decided to act like this, because I am not stupid,” I started a new topic. “Maybe I am only eighteen years old, but I am not stupid.”

  “No one said you are stupid,” he said, relaxed when he realized that I wasn't pushing him to answer to my question about the kiss. He didn't want to speak about it. Was he ashamed of the kiss we shared?
>
  “I don't know yet, who are my true enemies, Christopher. So, I need to find them, and the only way is to trick them. I need them to think that I am a stupid little girl, who is obedient. In that way they won't be on their guard and will begin to do mistakes,” I didn't know if it was wise for me to trust him, but I wanted. And plus, he didn't give me another choice. I won't let him to hurt Snow again.

  “I have devalued you,” he confessed. “You are dangerous soul, Vanessa. Lucky for me, I am not your enemy. And Avery is not, either. You shouldn't scare her like this.”

  “You keep your mouth shut, mister. And for God's sake, put something on your chest. Although I have a soulmate, my hormones don't understand that.”

  He grinned and walked out from my room. I collapsed on my bed. I could see dark clouds in the sky. It was going to rain today. And maybe it was only for the best. The rain washes everything, even feelings for a person for which you shouldn't have.

  <<>>

  She was driving him crazy that was for sure. He couldn't predict what she will do next, and that scared him a bit. His Vanessa was like that; unpredictable. But at least he could control her.

  And her words... Christopher really didn't aspect to hear that. She liked his kiss? She shouldn't have. After all, she had a soulmate. And how did he know what she had to feel? Because he had kissed many girls, who weren't his. All of them told him that it felt wrong. So, was Trinity just teasing him?

  He walked into the living room, in which Avery was sitting nervously. She maybe seemed strong, smart and unfeeling, but it was just acting. Avery was like a mother: caring, loving and selfless. But only rare people knew that.

  Avery jumped, seeing him coming into the room.

  “Well? What happened to her?”

  He sighed. He had to confess, Trinity was doing the right thing; being cautious was always the right thing. But why did she decide to start being one now?

  “She is...She is just playing around,” he took a seat. Avery studied him from head to toe. He noticed that her eyes stopped for some seconds on his chest. He laughed in his mind. He was used to see how girls flushed a bit seeing him without upper clothes. But he didn't pay much attention. Yes, maybe he was in many girls' dreams, but he couldn't ever be real. He didn't belong to any girl. He would only wish for that.

  “Playing around?” Avery showed surprise on her face. “What do you mean by saying that?”

  Christopher folded his arms against his chest, hiding his naked chest from Avery's eyes. He was shocked when he wanted that those eyes could belong to Trinity. He liked when she saw him without upper clothes for the first time. Her touch against his chest was so pleasing.

  Grip yourself, man, he ordered himself.

  “You mentioned the bodiless,” he started. Avery nodded.

  “Eduard. I don't know him.”

  “Me too. Whatever he said to her, it made her think she is vulnerable. She just want to prove that she isn't. What she is doing now, is just an act. I think we should let her do whatever she wants if that lets her feel safer. “

  “We need to talk with that Eduard. It's strange that one bodiless took a body.”

  Christopher didn't say anything, because he hear quite steps in the corridor. Trinity left her room and now was silently listening to them.

  “Yes, I agree with you. But we will do that not today. It's cold here,” he said as he stood up. “I will put some clothes on and finish what I have started, but, unfortunately, I couldn't end,” Christopher said in sarcastic voice.

  She just pulled a face to me like a small child.

  Christopher grinned and walked out, leaving Avery alone. In the corridor he was hoping to see Trinity, but in stead he was greeted with two dark eyes of the white cat. Snow exposed her small white teeth, her fur stood up. From the cat's behavior he knew that he wasn't Snow's favorite person. But it was necessary to do that to this small kitty. He wanted to make sure that Trinity was Trinity. And his plan worked.

  Chapter eighteen

  I left my room and entered into the dining room. Avery was drinking her coffee while Christopher's seat was empty. I also didn't hear anything in his room when Ie walked by.

  I took a seat over the table and started eating my pancakes. From Avery's face I could only understand that Christopher told her what I tried to. Maybe it was only for the best that my plan so soon hit to the wall. I could get use to being something what she wasn't

  “Where is Christopher?” I couldn't defeat my desire to know where he was.

  She lifted her eyes to me and took some minutes only to study me.

  “His friend called. There is another tutor and protector in the town,” from her tone I got the impression that she didn't like the fact that there were another people like them, or maybe she didn't like exactly those people, who came into the city.

  “Will I meet them?”

  “Who knows,” she answered simply. “To be honest, I don't like that pair, but Christopher managed to become good friends with them. Maybe even too good.”

  “What do you mean?” I puckered up my brows.

  “Well, you are not a seven years old child, Vanessa. Even if we don't have our other halves, we still have needs. The safest way for us to satisfy them, is to share them with those who are in the same shoes.”

  Three letter word. That word appeared in my mind. I could swear, I had never had a thought that Christopher wanted to make love with someone. Yea, he was a man, but he didn't have chance to have another half of his soul. Also, he was a protector. My protector.

  The thought that he was with someone, kissing someone's lips... made me jealous and angry. Very angry. I knew that I shouldn't feel like this. He wasn't mine and he could never be. Tobias was mine and he will be like that forever.

  “You don't seem pleased hearing that,” she noticed.

  I nodded. What point was to hide that? That idea really made me sick.

  “How old you both are for real?” I decided to turn our conversation to another way.

  “I am seven hundred years old. Christopher is younger. Somewhere around six hundred and fifty maybe.”

  “You both are old,” I said frowning.

  “Yea, we are. I almost forgot,” she pointed with her finger at a red envelope which was lying on the table. I didn't even notice it. “This just came in. We are invited to some kind of fund-raiser. How do you think, would it be worth to go there?” she gave the envelope. I took it reluctantly. I knew about this fund-raiser. Eduard mentioned about it. It was strange that he didn't sign on the invitation.

  “We will need dresses,” I said in a prim smile.

  “Yes. We could go and do a little shopping season. I know a great shop not far away from here. Then we could do something with your hair and those wild eyebrows. Also, you could take Tobias there. I am sure he will agree to go with you there. It's really remarkable to see two soulmates together,” she said with enthusiasm. “I will definitely take my camera and make many pictures of you two.”

  I rolled my eyes. But still the image of me being in a wonderful long dress, holding Tobias hand, seeing him in costume, managed to stir me to the depths. I even forgot the fact that I was his cousin and those feelings, which we had for each other, were a forbidden fruit.

  “Yea. I have a question. Are there more things which you didn't tell me?”

  She knitted her eyebrows together.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I don't know?” I shrugged. “Maybe I have a twin sister, or I can move things with my thoughts. Are there more things which you are hiding from me?”

  She removed her lock of hair from her face. Her eyes were staring at everything except me. Also, she didn't hurry to answer to my question, what made me suspicions. I was right. There was something more about me.

  “Well?” I was on my tiptoe with curiosity.

  “Of course there are things about you which you don't know,” she confirmed my suspicions. “But I don't know them.”

  My face fell. Sh
e was teasing me.

  Snow came into the room and slowly scanned the area before she jumped on the empty chair and looked from it to me, then to Avery, who only frowned seeing the cat. How it seemed, she wasn't the cat lover.

  “What do you mean?” I pushed my plate away from me.

  “You are special. You can remember things from your life. But no one knows why. There are only theories. And talking about a twin sister. I don't know anything about her,” she broke into a smile.

  “At least one good piece of news,” I mumbled.

  “You understand that we don't want you to leave the flat today. We don't know who is Eduard and what he wants. Plus, your behavior...”

  I folded my arms. I expected something similar to that; house arrest. I had never been grounded in all my life. And here, I am alive two weeks and most of the time I spent in my room. That was how an animal should feel; trapped.

  “Yea. I am a fantastic person. You don't need to say that out loud,” I lifted my hand.

  “At least we agree with that.”

  I rolled my eyes and stood up. Snow looked at me and mewed.

  “I will be in my room, creating new worlds and new tragedies,” I said and walked away, leaving Avery alone. Snow followed me.

  I could see in Avery's face, eyes, that she wanted to talk about Tobias, to explain my situation for me. But she didn't need to do that. I wasn't stupid. And plus, Eduard did a great job introducing me to this fact; Tobias was my soulmate and my cousin. We could be together, but our relationship would still be not full. That detail that we were kin, made its dirty job. Maybe it would have been only for the best if that part of his identity would have stayed as a secret.

  I always tried to create a tragedy love story in my tales, but I had never wanted to be in one. Because really, my new life seemed to be a well of tears and misery. I will always struggle to what I should listen to: my heart or my brain.

  And what about Christopher? I really had feelings for him, but I didn't know what kind. I knew that it couldn't be love, because he wasn't my soulmate. So, maybe it was just my desire to take care of someone, to feel attachment to something and Christopher seemed to be a perfect person to be one of my best friends.