Fading Thunder

by Abagail Eldan

  I stared at her. “What?”

  “Please try to understand. I know how wrong I was, and I ask your forgiveness.”

  My eyes widened at her audacity. “You expect me to forgive you for years of deceit?”

  “Isn’t that what Christians do?” Her eyes had clouded with tears again. How could I know if they were real?

  I linked my fingers together. “Why pursue Dan?”

  “I thought I made it clear — for his money.”

  “But you come from a wealthy family ... and I’m sure you would have met someone with money in your own circle of friends.”

  “Maybe, but Dan is very good-looking.”

  “So you married him for his money and his looks?”

  “Basically. And it’s true my father has money, but the Depression took its toll on everyone. Besides, my father’s money spread among my brothers and sisters doesn’t amount to much.”

  I sighed deeply. “I have another question. Why did you ask Dan to lie and pretend he fathered Joe Joe?”

  “I wanted your sympathy. Plus, I was helping Sylvia out. She didn’t want anyone to know the father was actually William.”

  “But she told me Michael had fathered Joe Joe.”

  “Yes, and I thought she was being too cruel, to extort money from you. I convinced her to go to your house and play out the charade, for me to threaten her if she didn’t stop. It was hard to see you so heartbroken over Michael, especially since you were expecting yourself.”

  I narrowed my eyes, trying to see inside her, to see if she held any truth. “Why did she marry my cousin?”

  “That was actually a mistake. She really liked William and found out she was expecting. He was eager to marry her, so” —Marla shrugged— “she married him. Too bad William didn’t have money. I think Sylvia could have been happy with him ... or as happy as she’s capable of being.”

  I shook my head in disbelief. “Money is so important to you and Sylvia that you use people to get more? And you discard those who have none?”

  “Money is important to us, as it is to most people. However, part of the reason was simply the thrill of the chase. Both Sylvia and I went after Dan, and I won.” She tilted her chin and flashed her smile.

  “Yes, but at what cost?”

  Her eyes filled with pain. “At a bigger cost than you can imagine. Unfortunately, Sylvia and I had made a deal. No matter which of us married Dan, we agreed to split his money fifty-fifty. I knew eventually Dan would find out I was sending Sylvia money and would never forgive me. That’s why I had to find someone else. Lucky for me, I didn’t have to look far.”

  I leaned over, elbows on my knees, and held my head in my hands, trying to make sense of it all. I twisted my head to catch her eyes. “Are you the one who told Sylvia that Michael was home, and we were having problems over Argos?”

  A sadness flickered in her eyes. “Yes, but I had good reason. Sylvia told me if Michael ever moved to California, she would release me from our deal, and she’d be out of my life and yours, too.”

  “A good reason? You didn’t care if you destroyed my marriage?” I jumped to my feet and moved across the room, knowing just how Michael had felt when he had wanted to punch Dan.

  Marla’s eyes followed me. “Remember that day you said our consciences were like cogs, and every time we violated our conscience, the cogs get worn away until they are nothing but wheels spinning freely? That’s when I realized I needed to sever my friendship with Sylvia. She has no conscience, no sympathy for others. So, you see, I had a good reason.”

  I scoffed. “Hurting me was a good reason?”

  She couldn’t meet my eyes and didn’t speak for a minute. When she did, her voice was soft. “I knew when I divorced Dan, and if Sylvia got Michael, Dan would go back to you. And I knew you’d take him, and you’d be happy with him.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I knew because he makes ... made ... me so happy.”

  I opened my mouth to protest and then shut it. Michael was the one I loved, but Dan did have a place in my heart. I turned to fully face her, unmoved by her acting. “I can’t believe you’ve been pretending all these years, caring only for yourself.”

  “You’re wrong, Jay. You have been my best friend. We’ve had good times and gone through some bad ones. I’m closer to you than I’ve ever been to anyone. You’ve taught me what true friendship means. I am truly sorry that I deceived you.”

  “And what of Dan? Do you care that you broke his heart?”

  “My heart is broken, too. I didn’t mean to, but I fell in love, probably loved him from the beginning. I didn’t want our marriage to end like this.” And this time I had no doubt her tears were real.

  This was still Marla, and my heart constricted at her grief. I sat beside her and held her close. She cried until her tears were spent.

  Chapter 34—Momma

  I left the next morning, leaving Zeke once more with Marla. Her tears had convinced me to trust her — at least enough to leave my brother in the same house with her. I had a long talk with Zeke. He had been taking care of himself for so long when he lived with Momma that this wouldn’t be much different. I told him all about Marla.

  He expressed mild surprise but that was all. I warned him again not to get involved with a girl two years his senior, although I was sure I wasted my breath.

  And so I left with misgivings but reassured by Zeke. It was a long, sad trip, but I made it home a little after lunch. Michael was at work and James Colton at Aunt Jenny’s. I called Michael to let him know I was back and told him we’d talk later.

  Momma had heard me and came out of her bedroom. “Where’s Ezekiel?”

  “The doctors didn’t release him.” I took off my hat.

  Momma caught my arm, the one that was scarred. “I told you to bring my boy home.”

  “Momma, the doctors want him to stay a couple of more weeks. He should be home soon.”

  Her fingers dug deeper into my arm. “That’s my boy. His momma needs him.” Tears streamed from her watery eyes.

  “I know, Momma. I miss him, too. But he just visited you.”

  “When?”

  “Last week. He had to go back to Plainsville and needs to stay a while longer.”

  She spat out her words. “He ain’t your son. You ain’t got no feelings for him. You wouldn’t be asittin’ like a knot on a log if you did.”

  Her words pained me. “You know I love Zeke, and I’ve always loved him.”

  “Love? Pshaw. If you loved him, you woulda brung him home.”

  “He’s in the best place for now, getting the help he needs.”

  “Get back in that car and get my boy.” Her wild-eyed look made me resolve to hide my keys. She might take a notion to take off, to look for Zeke, although she had no idea where Mr. Drake’s house was located.

  I pulled away from her and went into the bedroom to change. I’d talk to Dr. Burch about Momma when I got a chance. So far she hadn’t done anything dangerous to herself or to others, but I was beginning to worry. I doubted if the mental hospital would accept her back, although I could always try.

  It was hard to brush away the guilt, the betrayal to Poppa, for even thinking about it. What would Poppa want me to do with Momma?

  When I came out of the bedroom, Momma had retreated to her room. “I’ll be back after while,” I called through her closed door.

  She didn’t answer, but I hadn’t expected her to. I left and went to Aunt Jenny’s to get James Colton.

  I wasn’t in any hurry to get back home and slid into a chair at my aunt’s kitchen table without waiting to be asked. Aunt Jenny and Laurie poured glasses of iced tea and joined me.

  Flour-sack cloths were spread on the table, and jars of freshly canned tomatoes were lined up on them, cooling. Some of the lids were already popping.

  “We been working all morning. Just finished up this canning,” Aunt Jenny said.

  The jars of red sparkled in the rays of sunlight streaming through the window. “Looks l
ike y’all have a good crop of tomatoes.”

  Aunt Jenny smiled. “We do. You take some jars with you when you go.”

  “I can put up some for us, maybe this weekend,” I said.

  “We have plenty, and I know you’re busy.”

  “Well, maybe a jar or two.” I looked across the table to Laurie. Her face was glowing, her cheeks pink, the blonde highlights in her brown hair shining gold. Pregnancy suited her. I asked anyway. “How are you doing, Laurie?”

  “Doing good.” She flashed a smile. “Tell us what’s going on with Zeke.”

  I took a sip of tea. “His heart has been skipping beats, and the doctors want to continue monitoring him. They think it’s a heart murmur, like Dr. Burch thinks. They’re not sure how serious. Really, it was a wasted trip.” I paused to glance at them before folding my hands in my lap. “Well, not entirely wasted. Dan was there, and he told me some things about Marla. I confronted her and found out they were true.” I wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk about it; the pain of betrayal was too fresh. Neither Aunt Jenny nor Laurie spoke. I swallowed, deciding to say the words, no matter how painful. “Truth is, Marla and Sylvia have been good friends all these years and connived together. Marla only married Dan for his money.”

  Aunt Jenny gasped and shook her head. “I’ve known several women like that, but Marla, of all people!”

  Laurie’s eyes had widened. “If that’s true, she’s lower than a snake in a rut, treating Dan like that.”

  I couldn’t help but smile, remembering she had once said the same about Dan.

  “Did she mention William?” Aunt Jenny asked, worry in her eyes.

  “Just that Sylvia really liked him and could have been happy with him if she hadn’t been so obsessed with money.”

  Aunt Jenny shook her head. “I can’t say I’m sorry Sylvia’s gone. She wasn’t the one for William. He needs to find him a good woman, one who will be a mother to Joe Joe.”

  I nodded. “Anyway, Marla told Dan to lie to Michael, to tell him he was Joe Joe’s father. She figured Dan’s lying about being the father would gain my sympathy, and it did. She also thought it would help Sylvia.” I peered at Aunt Jenny through my lashes. “Sylvia had a silly notion William would be disinherited if you and Uncle Colt found out William was Joe Joe’s father.”

  Aunt Jenny grimaced. “Colt would have been pretty angry.”

  I cleared my throat. “Another thing, Marla’s been sending money to Sylvia every month.”

  Aunt Jenny’s forehead furrowed. “Why on earth would she do that?”

  My eyes sought Aunt Jenny’s and then Laurie’s. I smiled sadly. “Marla and Sylvia made a pact way back in high school that they would share Dan’s money, no matter which one snagged him. So Marla was keeping her end of the bargain, sending Sylvia money.”

  “Wow. Sylvia was blackmailing her, probably threatening to tell Dan if she didn’t keep sending money.” Laurie said.

  “Maybe.” I hadn’t thought of it as blackmail, but it made sense. I shrugged my shoulders. “I reckon. Anyway, Dan found out. Funny thing is, he doesn’t want to divorce her. But she wants the divorce so she can marry his uncle.”

  “Poor Dan!” Laurie exclaimed.

  Aunt Jenny rested her chin on her folded hands, looking thoughtful. “And poor Marla. She loves money more than her husband.”

  I sighed and took another sip of tea. “To top it off, Sylvia told Marla that if Michael divorced me and went out to California, then she would never contact her again. And so Marla recently got in touch with her, told her Michael and I were having problems.

  “Oh, Jay!” Aunt Jenny reached across the table to clasp my hand.

  “It’s okay. I read the letter she sent. Michael wanted to burn it as soon as he saw it.”

  Aunt Jenny patted my hand. “Michael is a good man.”

  Her words made my heart swell. I nodded.

  Laurie leaned toward me. “So, when we all talked to Sylvia, Marla was playacting?”

  I licked my lips. “Yep. That confrontation was a farce.” I touched the locket at my throat. “But Marla apologized. I just don’t know if I can forgive her for all she has done.”

  “Marla had us all fooled. It’s difficult to forgive someone for deception, especially for something that has been going on so long,” Aunt Jenny said. “But she admitted to it, and we have to try.”

  We fell quiet. Talking about it had made it more real yet, ironically, more difficult for me to grasp. It was like the kaleidoscope I had bought for James Colton — the world was tilting, shifting, pieces falling into new configurations. But the images made by the kaleidoscope were beautiful, not like the ugliness I now saw in the person who was supposed to be my best friend.

  I moved restlessly. “To tell the truth, I didn’t like leaving Zeke with her, after all that. But Zeke is almost fifteen and can take care of himself.” I said the last like a question, searching Aunt Jenny’s eyes.

  She reassured me with her nod. “He can. He’s been taking care of himself for so long and taking care of Molly, too.”

  “Yeah. And Momma’s pretty upset because I didn’t bring him back. She can’t remember that he just visited.” I got up and took my glass to the sink. “There is something else worrying me.”

  Aunt Jenny was putting a couple of jars of tomatoes in a flour sack but tilted her head toward me. “What?”

  “He and Grace, well, I guess you could say she’s his girlfriend.”

  Laurie’s eyes twinkled. “Zeke has a girlfriend?”

  “Yeah. Not sure what to do about it.”

  Aunt Jenny’s lips thinned for a moment before she spoke. “There’s nothing you can do. The more you interfere, the more you’ll reinforce their ... friendship. It becomes them against you.”

  I reflected on her words. “That’s true. Anyway, Grace will probably break it off before long.”

  Laurie snorted. “I doubt that. She knows he’s a keeper.”

  I laughed. “Well, if she’s anything like her sister, he won’t be rich enough.”

  Aunt Jenny handed me the flour sack. “You never know. Zeke might make a name for himself. He might be rich someday.”

  “Someday is not today, though,” I said. “Thanks for the tomatoes.” I went into the sitting room to get James Colton.

  Both boys wrapped their arms around me. I ruffled Joe Joe’s hair and took James Colton’s hand. “Tell Joe Joe bye.”

  And we left, me feeling lighter for having shared my burden and strong enough to go home and deal with Momma. Michael would be home soon. I’d bake biscuits, and we’d have tomato gravy, his favorite. I smiled. It was James Colton’s favorite, too.

  Chapter 35—Shopping

  I told Michael all that had happened, leaving out only that I’d been alone with Dan in a dark room when we had talked. Michael and I were working out our problems, learning how to live with one another, and I didn’t want to upset the delicate balance.

  Days passed, and I immersed myself in work, trying to forget my broken friendship with Marla. My optimism that Velma’s work ethic would have improved was short-lived. I couldn’t bring myself to fire her — after all, she was Wilbur’s niece. So I had to make do, taking over most of the secretarial work while she painted her nails or took long lunch breaks.

  She and I had never been particularly close, so I was surprised when she asked me to go shopping with her on Saturday. I was even more surprised to learn what she was shopping for — a wedding dress.

  “Who’s the lucky man?” I asked.

  She smiled. “We’re keeping our engagement secret for now.”

  I debated asking why but decided not to, afraid the need for secrecy might be due to impropriety. I hoped her marriage would make her content to be a housewife, and I could then hire someone who would actually work.

  I didn’t want to go shopping with her. I hated shopping, and our tastes were nothing alike. Even though I hadn’t answered yet, Velma must have caught my deer-in-the-headlights expression. />
  She got to her feet and came around the counter to where I stood. “You know my mother died when I was young. You have been such a good friend to me, and I need help picking out the right dress. Please come with me?”

  “How long will we be gone?”

  She laughed. “A girl never worries about time when she’s shopping! And this is a once-in-a-lifetime dress, so it may take all day.”

  “All day?” Was she serious?

  Michael came in the back door and headed for the supply room.

  “I’ll be right back, Velma.” I hurried after my husband, closing the door behind me.

  Michael was taking supplies off the shelf and putting them in his bag. He glanced at me. “Anything wrong?”

  I grimaced. “Velma has invited me on a shopping trip.”

  He raised his eyebrows and then went back to looking through the supplies on the shelf. “That sounds nice.”

  I lowered my voice. “No, it’s not nice. I don’t want to go, and I don’t know why she asked me. I hate shopping.”

  He set a bottle of iodine on the counter and turned to face me. “Listen, Jay. Velma appears to be looking for a friend, and you’ve recently lost one.”

  I cast a critical eye around the small room. The shelves were dusty, and Michael had carelessly pushed a few items out of order. As soon as he left, I’d get a rag and wipe the shelves and straighten up.

  “Are you listening?” Michael asked.

  “Yes. I heard what you said. But Velma cannot replace Marla.”

  “No one can replace Marla. We can’t remove one person from our lives and replace them with another and expect things to be the same.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “But sometimes things can be even better. Like James Colton’s kaleidoscope. Just when it seems you’ve seen the best, it changes into something better.”

  “That’s strange.”

  “What?”

  “I was just thinking of the kaleidoscope, how my life was shifting and changing. But I never thought of it as getting better.”