Hannah Alexander

by Keeping Faith

  Joseph knew from that moment that if he changed directions and followed Victoria north, he’d be teased without mercy for the remainder of their journey. Not that it would bother him. After their prolonged, public conversations today, he doubted he would be allowed to live it down, anyway. “I’d hate to lose the doctor who just saved five lives.”

  Deacon shook his head. “Headstrong women make the best wives.”

  “Having never been married, I wouldn’t know.”

  “Believe me, Mrs. Fritz wouldn’t’ve survived our own seven wild ones if she wasn’t headstrong.” He grunted. “Good wife. Yes, indeed. Helen took right up with Dr. Fenway, too. Kindred spirits.”

  Joseph cleared his throat. “What did you discover on your visits this afternoon?”

  “All I hear is that the ruffians are on the prowl. There’s been some trouble in the area in the past week, since most folks in these parts aren’t slavers. Don’t matter to the troublemakers that there’s no reason to own slaves in this tree-laden backside of the world, they want to take their spite out on somebody.”

  “That is my concern.” Joseph’s heart dropped more and more deeply into his chest. “We can’t risk all these lives.”

  “Well, that’s one way of looking at it, of course, but we’re not sure how we’ll fare once we get to the Territory, either. Maybe all our fightin’ men would do better to take out some of the bullies now, before we cross the border.”

  “We have women and children to protect, Deacon.”

  “We all came for a fight, men, women and children, any way you look at it, and maybe some of those young bucks of ours can get some experience under their belts. There’s fightin’ on both sides of the border. I hear say that older Johnston kid’s a deadeye. If so, it’s the only thing he’s good at ’cept eatin’ and wood choppin’. Every time he opens his mouth something stupid comes out of it or he’s shoveling something into it. What say we have us a little shootin’ contest?”

  “You mean now?”

  “Sure thing. Out here in the wilderness where the trees will muffle the shots and there are few to hear.”

  “Tonight, then.”

  Deacon nodded as he puffed on his pipe.

  “We do need to get to Kansas,” Joseph said.

  “Which means we need to know each other’s strengths and weaknesses. I could set us up a little shootin’ range down by the creek. If nothing else, it’ll scare away the cougars and such.”

  Deacon Fritz was a bright man, but Joseph didn’t like the idea of drawing attention to their wagon train. “Shots will echo a long way off. If there’s a troublemaker in the area, we’d be inviting him to bring that trouble to us.”

  “What’re you getting at?”

  “I suggest we have our target practice a couple of miles away. Draw any bushwhackers away from the direction of the camp.”

  Deacon raised his eyebrows, nodded and grinned.

  “I know just the place,” Joseph said. “It’s a small area surrounded by deeper woods than this. Women should practice their shooting, too—anyone who can handle a weapon.”

  Deacon’s smile died and sadness swept across his heavy face. “Everyone on this journey expects trouble when we get to the border, but I don’t see another way.”

  “Guess we’ll do a lot of praying in the days to come,” Joseph said. “The remainder of our wagon train will join us at Elk River. Dr. Fenway hopes to meet up with us in Neosho,” Joseph said. “We’re going to need a doctor for our new village.”

  “That we are, Captain.”

  “It might help if she made it there in one piece.”

  Deacon tapped the ashes from his pipe and sniffed the air. “That it would. Let me know how I can help.” He gestured toward the campfire. “It appears we’re to have a handsome meal this evening. The wife baked a huge pot of molasses beans and several of the other ladies are making corncakes. With the venison and Mrs. Reich’s dried-apple crumble, we’ll have enough to feed everyone through lunch tomorrow.”

  “Then we’ll be well fed for our trip.”

  “You reckon the doc will make it to Jollification safely? I could ride along with her. So could the missus. She’s a mean shot, herself.”

  Joseph thought about the idea. He liked it. After target practice tonight, he’d know for sure if they could shoot as well as he thought they could.

  “I’ll speak with Dr. Fenway about it.” Joseph tipped his hat to his friend and strode toward the edge of the camp.

  By the time this wagon train reached their destination in Kansas Territory, there would most likely be at least twenty-five wagons with more than a hundred people, including the children. Barring trouble, they should arrive in time to get well settled before winter set in. The oxen and draft horses would also eat well for the rest of the trip, and if he watched out for the troublemakers perhaps they would all make it to their destination without another spill into a river or a breakout of illness.

  He looked up from the sizzling meat to see Victoria standing at the edge of the field with her arms crossed as she gazed toward Heidi and Mrs. Reich—a woman so sturdy she could whip an angry bull—leaning with her head close to Heidi’s. Victoria was right about Mrs. Reich; the woman would take Heidi in as one of her own and shower love on her. Heidi, however, might have other ideas.

  Though Victoria wouldn’t admit it to Joseph, he could see that she had become attached to the Ladue family, and especially loved Heidi. She and the girl had spent many an hour riding side by side as Mrs. Ladue drove the wagon. Heidi’s friendship with Victoria had just begun to draw the girl out of her brooding over her father’s death when this next catastrophe threatened to destroy her heart completely.

  As if aware he was watching, Victoria turned her head to look at Joseph. He nodded toward her. Fascinating woman.

  * * *

  Victoria frowned at Joseph, not sure if the warmth on her skin came from frustration with the man for his constant nagging today or if it lingered from the words he’d spoken to her. He loved her.

  She knew he had not used those words lightly, and it took every ounce of strength within her to not run back across the field and throw herself into his arms, give way to his command for her to remain with the wagon train and let someone else do her job for her. The last thing on this earth she wanted to do was ride into that lion’s den. If not for the friends depending on her, she would never follow those creeks to the mill town.

  She returned her attention across the field where Audy Reich stood comforting Heidi and then gazed into the eternal twilight beneath the looming trees. She had been so focused on her patients since setting up camp here that she had taken little time to observe her surroundings. This place was like another world, uncultivated and wild. So beautiful.

  Many of the forests around St. Louis had been cleared by farmers who knew how to wield their axes. However, the rivers and hills, gulches and valleys through which the wagon train had recently passed, and that continued to reach out across the countryside with its tentacles of ridges, had not yet been tamed.

  Joseph was right; she had reason to be concerned. If she had an accident or was attacked and missed her mark with her weapon, there would be no one to bear witness except Sadie—or, if she were to take up Joseph’s offer of a horse trade, Boaz. If she died, there would be no one to take word to her family.

  But if not for justice, what reason did she have to live? Revenge was an ugly thing, but there was much more to this journey than revenge.

  And here she was, excusing herself to the empty air about why she could not possibly stay with Heidi at this time. Later, yes, she would meet up with the rest, but now she had a dangerous job to do, and Heidi needed a place of safety in which to heal.

  As Victoria neared the edge of the clearing where Heidi and Audy had stood for such a long time this afternoon, the sound of her own footsteps rustled through the thick grass. Audy turned and glanced over her shoulder. Their gazes met in understanding. Audy nodded, patted Heidi’s back
and left the girl.

  She scrunched her face and shook her head as she leaned close to Victoria in passing. “Poor thing ain’t talkin’ about it. She acts like nothin’s wrong. It’s like she’s somewhere else.”

  Victoria nodded, studying the bright blue-and-yellow calico of Heidi’s dress. The girl had no black to wear; her mother had told Victoria that she didn’t want her young, vibrant daughter to waste away in mourning clothes throughout the journey. Here on the trail there was no room for extra material for a dress.

  The child—no, Heidi was not a child, though Victoria persisted in thinking of her in that way—would now be forced to grow up more quickly. She had, however, already assumed a great deal of responsibility, with no father this past year. Claude had shouldered a man’s load on this trip. If only he’d used the wisdom taught to him by his mother.

  Growing up with twelve brothers and sisters had meant a crowded house and meager means for Victoria, but it had supplied her with family. Heidi had none.

  When Victoria touched her shoulder, Heidi turned to look at her, blue eyes clear and smiling as if no tragedy had taken place this day. It was an unnerving look, and for a moment Victoria feared the loss might have unhinged her mind permanently, as Joseph had suggested.

  “I saw you and the captain together a lot today, watching out of the corner of my eye. He’s sweet on you, you know,” Heidi said, her voice a little forced.

  Victoria swallowed and held the fragile gaze.

  Heidi sighed like a doe-eyed dreamer. “Don’t I wish a handsome man like that was sweet on me.”

  “Please tell me you’re not talking about Captain Rickard.”

  “See there? Even you can tell he likes you, and you never notice when the men watch you.”

  “My darling, you’re too young to be concerned about such things.”

  Heidi shrugged. “I’ll be fifteen in three weeks. I’ve heard tell that girls here in southern Missouri marry young, and they marry old men.”

  Victoria bit her lip. “You’ll be in Kansas in three weeks. And are you saying Captain Rickard is old?”

  Heidi looked up at her with such innocence. “He must be at least thirty.”

  Victoria suppressed a smile, wondering how Joseph would react to hearing someone call him old. “I have to admit, my late husband was twenty years older than I.”

  “Pa was younger than Ma by three months. She said he always behaved like a youngster.”

  “Behaving young makes one feel young. You’ll understand it when you’re married with children.”

  “You think he’d ever settle down somewhere?” Heidi nodded toward the captain and winked at Victoria. “You know, for the right woman?”

  “I believe he might.”

  “For someone like you, I think he would. I can tell. Even Ma said...” Heidi’s voice caught, and the agony of loss welled in her eyes for less than a second before she swallowed and inhaled slowly and deeply.

  “What did your mother say?”

  Heidi shook her head.

  “She was a wise and good woman,” Victoria said. “We were blessed to have her in our lives, and I can’t imagine how much we are going to miss her. I will never forget her generosity or her loving spirit, because I know those qualities will live on in you.”

  The facade on the pretty girl’s face cracked further. Victoria couldn’t forget the despair that had taken hold of Heidi two days ago. This recent, forced lightness was a thin coating of ice on a deep pool. Until now, Victoria had not heard the naturally garrulous young lady say a word since her mother had breathed her last early this morning. As Audy had said, it was as if her spirit had contracted into some hidden place.

  “I must tell you something.” Victoria’s hand tightened on her young friend’s shoulder. “I have to take my leave of the wagon train for a few days. I...wish to help you settle before I go.” The words sounded horrid in her own ears, crass and hard in comparison to Heidi’s loss, but this could not be helped.

  There was no comfort Victoria could give her. “Heidi, I’m so sorry. I wish there was something I could do to make this easier on you.”

  For a moment, she thought Heidi might attempt to reject the impending subject once again.

  “Ma and Claude lived in the Truth.” Heidi’s voice quivered as she returned to her study of the trees.

  “Yes, my dear.”

  “I know where they went,” Heidi said. “It’s not to this rotten ol’ soil.”

  Victoria drew the girl closer to her side. Heidi had a faith as strong as Matthew’s had been, almost as strong as Joseph’s, but that faith would not protect her from the hard grief that would overtake her.

  For a moment all was silent save for the multiple birdsongs echoing across the meadow, the whisper of wind, the rustling leaves and the splash of water along Shoal Creek, which divided the meadow.

  “You have twelve families to choose from, Heidi Ladue,” Victoria said. “I know any of them would welcome you into their lives and homes when they settle in Kansas Territory, and I will likely be with you there.”

  Heidi stiffened and pulled away. “I’m not part of a family anymore. Ma told me to stay with you if something happened to her.” She looked up at Victoria. “I bet you’re not even planning to go to Kansas Territory, are you?”

  “I do plan to go there. I promise. But I have responsibilities to see to beforehand.” Victoria turned her gaze to the needles of the pine tree above them. The lowest branch was far above their heads. That was how she felt right now—buried in a crisis that reached far above her head. She could not even imagine the dangers her journey would entail. Joseph was right, of course. He knew this country. He just didn’t know how terrified she was of it.

  For another moment the two lingered together in silence while Victoria identified keenly with her young friend’s loss.

  The memory was still so vivid that, closing her eyes, Victoria could see the man in black with a long braid down his back that blended gray with white into a silvery sheen. She saw him jump astride his red horse and race away when she shot him with her husband’s rifle. She saw the image of Matthew bravely fighting to stay alive until he could warn her.

  She had fallen to her knees beside him and felt for his pulse. He was alive! She pressed her ear to his chest. She heard a rattle, looked down and saw the blood. Too much blood.

  “My darling, please,” she cried. “It’s me. I’m home. Open your eyes!” She held her cheek above his mouth and felt his warm breath. “Matthew.” The death rattle. She’d heard it before. “Please don’t do this, God. Please!”

  “Victoria.” Matthew’s voice was barely a whisper. His eyes opened. “You’re safe?”

  “The man’s getting away. I mean to catch him.”

  “No.” His hand grasped hers and he groaned.

  “Sweetheart, I have to go get my bag.”

  “No.” He was shivering.

  “I must stop the blood.”

  His eyes closed again, and the rattle grew louder. “I’m lost, Victoria. But make me a promise.”

  “I’ll promise to try to keep you alive if you’ll let me—”

  “No.” He ground out the word as his hand tightened on hers. “The letter...did you...find it?”

  “What letter? I’ve not been inside. Please let me get my case.”

  “L-listen to me. Must hurry. Leave this place when spring comes. Never return...so much wickedness. Do what we’d planned. Follow the trail. Find the Frasiers. Whatever—” He grimaced and his grip loosened from hers. “You must heal the wounded, lead the helpless to safety.”

  “This is madness, Matthew! You talk as if you’re dying, and I won’t let you do that! You can’t leave me.”

  “I have to go. You’re strong...shrewd. Protect yourself.... There is...conspiracy. The map in our office...follow it. Letter from John. Don’t trust anyone else....” His eyes closed. His breathing stopped.

  Victoria fell across him with a cry of anguish. “Matthew, no!”


  A soft, feminine voice recalled her from the nightmare of her memories. “Dr. Fenway, stay tonight with me in the wagon? Please.”

  Victoria opened her eyes to see Heidi’s face shimmering with tears. She didn’t need to spend her first night as an orphan grieving in that lonely wagon.

  “I’ll stay and help you get situated with another family this evening, and then I will leave at first light. But, Heidi, I must be on my way. We will meet again soon.”

  “Why must you leave?”

  “To carry out my husband’s final request, and I’ve recently discovered I must hurry. I have no choice, and the route I’m taking is too dangerous to take you with me.”

  Heidi looked down. Her shoulders began to tremble. Victoria pulled her close and let her cry. Eventually their tears blended together. Those mingled tears would help lead toward healing for both of them.

  As soon as the girl slept, Victoria would once more study the map Matthew had told her to follow, and she would consult with Joseph. He had wisdom and experience beyond his years and would have good advice for her travels. She had no choice but to chance crossing paths with the killer. It was possible she would catch up to him before he could reach the mill village.

  Victoria could close her eyes at night and picture Thames—but in the darkness he appeared as a rabid wolf set out across the country to steal and destroy. What would be wrong with stopping a man like that? She wouldn’t shoot him in the back, but if they faced one another she would be forced to stop him from killing others. What kind of a sin would it be to hope she was forced to shoot?

  Maybe he had other places to visit. Maybe he had orders to kill. What would be wrong with her stopping a man from killing other innocents like Matthew? She could see no sin in it. But she was often reminded that her thoughts were not the thoughts of God. She had no right to question God.

  She did so, anyway. How much longer could she get away with questioning Him the way she did?

  Chapter Ten

  Victoria was well away from the wagon-train camp on Tuesday morning when the gloom of the Missouri forest lightened in increments. She heard splashing water as she neared a clearing where the creek had carved a cave beneath a sheer rock as tall as the trees around it.