“-you okay?” Shaking myself out of my trance, I heard Chloe’s voice coming from behind all the muscle. Who was this guy?
“Uhh, yeah. Who are you? Who is he?” I asked both the sex god in front of me and Chloe.
“This would be Tucker. He’s a friend of Grayson’s. Grayson wanted to go to the zoo with us but didn’t want to make it weird so he invited Tuck here. Hope that’s okay, Payton.” She was giving me the ‘you don’t have a choice so you better enjoy this fine piece of ass since I can’t’ look. I couldn’t help but let out a slight laugh at Chloe’s expression behind Tucker’s arm. This was so not what I planned on happening on our girls’ day but couldn’t deny myself a day of hanging out with such a hot gift to women.
“Sounds like fun, Chloe. Hey, would you mind helping me get something from my car since it sounds like one of the guys will be driving now instead of me?” I didn’t really give her an option as I pulled her arm and effectively dislodged her from the safe location behind Tucker. “Be right back, Tucker!”
After making our way to my car, I finally let her go, still pissed off at the situation. “You said no more meddling! How is inviting sex-on-a-stick to the zoo with us not meddling, Chloe?!”
“See?! You do find him attractive! Hell, I’d sleep with him if I wasn’t worried about him telling Grayson. You need a little Tuck in your life, Payton, nothing serious, but just a good old fashioned fucking from a fine man. After the zoo, you can head back to his place and finish your date.”
I saw so many things wrong with what Chloe just said that it took me a minute to process it. I could see her having her way with Tucker if she had an opportunity, but I knew it could backfire on her if Tucker had a big mouth. Did she just say I could fuck Tucker today? Is that what Tucker signed up for? Hanging out for a few hours at the zoo and expecting to claim his prize afterward? I was irritated and turned on at the same time. He was exceptionally sexy.
“Let’s just get going, okay? I’m tired of overanalyzing the situation and I want to see some damn monkeys. Your scheme to find me a man will not hinder my plans today, friend.”
Chloe jumped in delight and squealed as she grabbed my arm and started tugging me back to her home. The boys were ready to go, Grayson seemingly in charge and Tucker hanging back with me. He was quiet so far, but the more I thought about it, the more exhilarating the day seemed.
“I was told you love the zoo but haven’t been since you were a kid. I think it’s pretty cute if you ask me. Did you have any exhibits that you are dying to see? We can break away and spend a little more time at those if you want.” Tucker sat next to me in the back seat of Grayson’s black Yukon and had his right arm hung over the back of my seat. He hadn’t tried anything with me yet but seemed conservative or just a really sweet gentleman. From how Chloe described the plans for the day, I expected the opposite. Just thinking of the hidden places Tuck and I could fuck at the zoo made my panties wet. He was one of those guys who oozed sex appeal and you knew for a fact that he was a powerhouse in bed.
“I want to see the wombats and the monkeys! Chloe thinks wombats are ugly so I doubt they’d linger with us. They’re just so damn adorable and exotic. I used to name my favorite monkeys when I was little. I’m pretty sure there was a Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, and Dopey last time. Disney movies were my babysitters back then. My parents could pop in any Disney movie and they could leave me alone for ninety minutes without me moving once.” He had a goofy grin on his face as I realized how much I had just shared with him, a complete stranger. “Umm, sorry. Yeah, we can do whatever you want. I didn’t mean to spill my life story. I’m not usually like that.”
“You don’t have to worry and I’d rather you be genuine and silly than stuck up and fake any day. Just let me know when you want to hang back and we can, deal?” He was being very nice. I briefly wondered what Chloe had said to him and if he was acting that way for a certain reason.
The four of us walked through the zoo at a leisurely pace, taking random pictures in front of the exhibits. In front of the baboons, Chloe and I bared our ‘pink butts’ to the camera. We also climbed on the back of the boys’ backs in front of the monkeys holding their babies on their backs. Tucker shared a sweet photo with a tiger whose paw was held up against the glass and he high fived the tiger. When we finally made it to the wombats, Tucker and I hunched down to their level and Chloe took a pretty cute pic of us. Grayson and Chloe left us and let us know to meet them at the front an hour later.
“It feels good to act like a kid again. I haven’t laughed that hard in forever!” Tucker slid his hand close to mine and waited as if he was asking permission. I knocked my hand into his and found my fingers interlocked seconds later. We sat on a bench and watched the wombats a few minutes longer in comfortable silence. I silently thought how perfect of a time it would be while we were alone to get better acquainted but Tucker didn’t seem to be on the same level of horniness as I was. Couldn’t a guy throw me a bone here? Literally. I was tempted to pull him into the reptile exhibit and bring him up to speed with my ideas but thought better of it.
“Why did you decide to come out with us today?” I blurted the question out without really thinking about it. I was curious, though.
“Grayson has mentioned you a few times. Said you were beautiful and hard to tame. I didn’t have plans today, so when he asked and said you’d be joining us, I had to jump at the chance. I love a good challenge and he spoke of you in high regards. He also wasn’t wrong when he said you were beautiful, although I’d probably use stunning or breathtaking when referring to your beauty, Payton.”
Yep. Wasn’t expecting that answer. I was thinking more along the lines of Chloe saying I was great in bed and it’d be worth his time to come out and join us.
“That’s sweet of you.” I wasn’t used to moments like that. While he was ridiculously good looking, I didn’t feel a spark when I was around him. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind having sex with him, but I didn’t think it’d be anything long term.
He stood quickly, pulling me up with him by the hand. We began walking aimlessly around the zoo, killing time and enjoying each other’s company. As we were walking by the elephants, I suddenly felt like I had eyes on me. It was the weirdest feeling and I couldn’t help but look around. It was when I turned toward the giraffes that I saw them. Him.
He was crouched down low, laughing, as a little girl hopped up on his back for a piggyback ride. There were two women with him who were gorgeous. Both girls were blonde—one with more beach-kissed hair and neither looked like they had ever had a child. They were perfectly fit and slim with short cut off shorts and casual shirts that still showed off their curves. The little girl must have been four or five and was laughing at something Ryder had said.
“Payton? You okay, girl?” Tucker’s voice had a hint of concern but I didn’t have time to deal with that. I pulled him off to an area uneasily seen by those passing by so I could see the only guy who I constantly had on my brain and who I was still upset and unsettled with. He looked like was enjoying himself. I couldn’t tell if he was with either girl because he wasn’t touching them in any way, but the thought that Ryder was with someone made my stomach uneasy. No sooner had they appeared did they disappear.
“I don’t mind playing a secret agent but I kind of need to know the specifics. Are we hiding from someone or are we scoping them out?” Tucker was trying to lighten the mood but I could tell from the confusion in his eyes that he was curious about what made me duck and cover at a zoo.
“I just saw someone I wasn’t planning on seeing. Caught me off guard. Ready to go?” I needed to get away and needed to find Chloe and Grayson, pronto.
Heading toward the exit, I thanked the heavens that Chloe and Grayson were already there, sitting on a bench, sharing a cup of Dippin’ Dots. We walked toward them and I swung an arm out to grab Chloe and kept walking toward the exit. I wasn’t about to wait for them to finish their ice cream or ask questions. I was sick to my stomach
and my damn heart was hurting. My bed, a tub of Dutch chocolate ice cream, and some Sons of Anarchy marathons were what I needed. That show always reminded me that I had to take care of myself and not count on others. If you did, you got screwed. Or killed. Or sent to jail. Or pregnant. Regardless, our girls’ day was officially over.
“What the hell, Payton? We were ready to leave and just waiting on you! Can’t you give us two minutes to finish our banana split Dippin’ Dots?” I could hear footsteps behind me and kept walking toward the car. I kept telling myself I would not break down but I was hanging on by a thread.
The drive home was filled with silence and as soon as the car was shifted to Park, I was out the door and heading to my car. I would deal with the repercussions later. I wasn’t going to start crying in front of them. He fucking moved on! I knew it had been months but didn’t realize how much seeing it would hurt and how much I missed him. I felt like I had been robbed of a real chance with Ryder and suddenly hated those two women. It didn’t even matter if they were with him romantically or not. They got to spend quality time with him and hear his laugh.
I sat in my car for a few minutes, not crying, but just staring out the window, trying to figure out why Ryder was brought into my life for such a short period of time before tearing what little we had to pieces. I didn’t think we had any type of chance, and knew I should give up, but my heart was more stubborn and wanted to hold on to hope. Stupid heart.
Ryder
I wasn’t quite sure what Kylie thought of our relationship but I wasn’t about to deal with it in San Diego. We were there to have a good time, set my best friend up with a decent date, and get away from life’s problems for a few days. I also didn’t want to have to stay in a hotel or drive back to Los Angeles with a girl who’d just had her heart broken by myself. There would be hatred, name calling, and bawling like a baby. I didn’t want to deal with that shit. I was smart enough to know I should handle it back at her place so that she couldn’t throw my belongings if she for some reason thought we were more than casual fuck buddies.
Waking up Saturday morning, I had a plan to check out McKenna to see how well of a match her and Tristen would be and not think about misinterpretations that Kylie might have. The night before, we fucked like nothing was wrong but I didn’t cuddle with her afterward. Our day at the zoo would go as planned, and if she wanted a little public affection, who was I to deny her? At that point, I didn’t care if it all blew up in my face. Kylie was a great girl but she wasn’t the girl.
We pulled up to McKenna’s home and out came a girl who belonged on a surfboard. She had natural sun-kissed blonde hair and was wearing shorts and a sweatshirt. Behind her was an adult version of her and I instantly knew she would be Tristen’s type. She opened the door of her Chevy Avalanche so Bailey could get in and proceeded to head over to my car. Kylie unbuckled her seatbelt and started getting out of the car and I followed suit to meet Tristen’s new date.
“McKenna, Ryder. Ryder, this is McKenna. You got everything you need from the car, babe?”
“Nice to meet you, McKenna. What? I figured we’d take separate cars.” I was given a look by both women that told me it wasn’t something I could argue about and headed back to the car to grab my phone and wallet. “Sure is a nice ride, McKenna. Girls in good looking trucks are sexy. Tristen is going to love you.”
“That’s sweet of you. It’s my second baby, right after Bailey. You can call me Kenna by the way. Ready for a day at the zoo, everyone?” Bailey let out a holler and as soon as her mom started backing out of the driveway, Bailey started asking for the dirty talking tummy song.
I gave a questioning glance over to Kylie who shrugged her shoulders, letting me know she was as clueless as I was. Soon enough, though, we heard Talk Dirty by Jason Derulo come on and the little girl started jamming out. She was shimmying, bouncing her head, closing her eyes and just going with the music. When the ‘talk dirty to me’ lyric began, she opened her eyes and put her hands on her belly. We could hear her saying ‘talk dirty tummy’ as if she was commanding the body part to start talking. I covered my mouth to cover my laugh as she started dancing around in the back of the truck when the saxophones followed. Throughout the song, she talked about her passport having kissies on it and told her dolly to sit comfortably on her lap in first class, but the best was her demanding that her tummy talk dirty to her. She was in her own little bubble and nothing could distract her when that song was on. By the time the song was over, Kylie was hunched over in hysterics and I had tears running down my cheeks in laughter.
“You might just have the coolest daughter ever, Kenna!” I looked over at Bailey and she nodded in confirmation.
“Pound it.” Bailey held her fist out toward me and waited for me to clue in on what the four-year-old was asking.
“Uhh.” Kylie slid over and fist pumped Bailey and the little girl squealed in delight. “Ohh, I gotcha.” I held my hand out for Bailey but she gave me a mean glare and I wondered what I had done wrong. Not more than a few seconds later, though, did her smile come back right along with her fist.
“Just kiddin’. Are you and Kylie married? Do you kiss and have babies?” Did four-year-olds normally ask those types of questions? I didn’t have a clue how to answer the kissing question.
“We aren’t married and don’t have any babies, Bailey. What’s your favorite animal at the zoo?” Distractions. It worked with women so it had to work on girls. It was science.
“The dolphins!”
“Baby, you know they don’t have dolphins there. They live in the ocean, where mommy goes to surf and where you build sandy castles.”
“Aww, fine. I wanna see the alligators and snakes!”
I was excited to hang out with the little girl. She would break some hearts one day. I knew for a fact that Tristen would take to her quickly.
“Louder please! And momma? You never answered my question yesterday. Why do they want the dirty tummy to talk? Mine never does and I dunno how to make it.” Bailey’s forehead was scrunched up as she tried to figure out the anomaly.
We drove the rest of the way listening to Katy Perry, Pitbull, and more Jason Derulo. Bailey may not have known or understood all the words, but she sure knew how to move to the beat and sing the chorus, albeit butchering the actual words. Once we parked and got out of the car, Kylie pulled her chapstick out of her purse and slid some over Bailey’s tiny lips after she was done. “Beautiful, sweetie. You are now officially ready for a day out at the zoo! Let’s go!”
The weather outside was perfect. The breeze was light and the sun was shining down to provide us just the right amount of warmth. That was one of the things I loved about San Diego—the amazing weather.
Bailey led the way to her favorite exhibits while the three of us strolled behind her and I was able to get to know McKenna a lot better. She loved teaching and surfing. Bailey apparently already had the surfing itch, so Kenna was contemplating how soon was too soon for Bailey to start practicing and if she was being a bad mom by letting her baby surf so young. Tristen and I both learned at a very early age and that comforted her. At the mention of Tristen’s name, her eyes widened and I knew that Kylie had spoken to her about him. She was curious about him and didn’t seem like she dated much.
We stopped at the meerkats upon Kylie’s request and the koalas upon Kenna’s. Bailey kept dragging me over to the glass separating the people from the animals to tell me everything she knew about them. It was cute how much random information a child so small knew. She was so full of life and confidence. The fact that she loved the alligators and snakes was amusing, too.
I found Kylie sneaking her arm around me and interlocking our fingers as we walked along, and while I wanted to pull away, I made an effort not to show it. I knew dragging it out and letting her think we were good together would only make things worse later but the day was about Bailey and not about our non-existent relationship.
As we made our way to the elephants and giraffes, I tried to
focus more so on the little girl in front of us, making sure she had the time of her life. I could overhear her singing as she walked along the path but wasn’t quite sure if I was hearing her right. I kept hearing her repeat, “They have it, they want it, they give it away” and assumed that she had no idea what she was talking about actually giving away.
“Hey, Kenna? What’s she singing up there?”
“Ugh, Lost Kitten by Metric. I was playing it in the car when I thought she was playing on my kindle but she caught on to the lyrics.”
“Has she ever asked what the words meant? Bailey sings about giving it away like she knows.”
“A slice of cake. I told her that the girl singing has a slice of cake that she shares with people who want some. Don’t give me that look, Ryder. It was the best I could come up with at the time and now she’s thinks it’s a sweet song about sharing dessert when it’s really a sex song.” As Kenna explained, I tried and failed at holding in my laughter. Bailey was getting even more awesome as the day wore on.
I snuck up behind her and made the best elephant noise I could come up with, using my extended arm as the elephant’s trunk. She burst out laughing and told me I needed to work on my animal noises, but that she would teach me. I tried to give my best monkey and lion impression but her giggles made me start laughing right along with her. I hunched down in front of her and held my arms behind me to hold her effectively as she jumped on my back. I twirled her around and around, eliciting more fits of giggles from Bailey, the smile on my face making my cheeks actually hurt. On one of the turns, I thought I noticed a familiar face but couldn’t shake the feeling in my stomach at the thought that it was her. I missed her smile and her spunk.
I slowed down the spinning and was able to get a better look. She was walking to a secluded area with some guy and I was instantly livid. I was never anything to her. She wasn’t one to settle down and only looked for the short-term. I didn’t want her to know I had seen her so as I slowed to a stop, faced away from Payton, and grabbed Bailey’s hand as we headed over to see the pandas before heading home. I was done with Payton. The only problem was that I felt like I was done with Kylie, too. I needed to get back to LA and away from both women.
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