by Natasha West
Three tense minutes passed before Chloe’s phone lit up.
‘Maybe it could be.’
Oh god. She hadn’t gotten the hint.
‘How so?’ Chloe replied as though utterly ignorant of the conversation she knew full well was about to happen.
‘Well, my tenancy is coming to an end. I was considering whether to renew it. But maybe I shouldn’t?’
Chloe wanted to give herself a sharp slap. She’d actually started this conversation. Why on earth had she started texting Freya in the first place? If she hadn’t done that, this wouldn’t be happening.
Then she looked over at Jess and remembered exactly why she’d done it.
Jess, meanwhile, was still engaged in some heavy text badinage. The smile on her face was creeping ever wider.
Chloe watched and thought about how Jess was moving forward with her life. She’d gotten a promotion and gotten engaged. And at twenty-seven, Chloe was exactly where she was when they’d first met at twenty-two.
‘I’m not growing up at all’, she thought. ‘I’m just growing sideways.’
‘I think you definitely shouldn’t renew that tenancy.’
A few minutes later, Freya replied.
‘Great. I’ll let my landlord know. Is there any space where I could work? Maybe we could turn your little spare room (your ‘Library’) into my studio? We could move out the books, keep them elsewhere. Also, I’m going to need you to clear your closet out, do a purge to make room for my clothes. You know me and my scarf collection.’
Chloe read the message and sighed heavily. Jess heard it and leaned in.
‘You alright?’
Chloe quickly gave her the thumbs up. But her internal thumbs were not at all up. All Chloe could think was ‘What the hell have I done?’
Chloe was back at the sea, this time watching it from the pebble beach. It was around six but people were still out in force. Teenagers, dog walkers, lovey-dovey couples, they were all over the beach, enjoying the evening sun. Chloe wished they’d piss off.
The texts from Freya had been coming steadily. Questions about moving dates, bill splits, the rearrangement of furniture, they wouldn’t stop. Chloe had stopped replying five texts ago but it wasn’t slowing Freya down a bit.
Eventually, Chloe simply switched the phone off. If Freya asked questions later, she’d say she forgot to pack her charger and ran out of juice.
‘We really can’t keep doing this’ a voice said behind her.
Chloe turned to look up, shielding her eyes from the sun. All she saw was a silhouette but she could tell it was Jess.
‘Sit down. Join me.’
Jess plonked herself down with a slight yelp.
‘I really wish this was a sandy beach. A pebble just hit me square in the coccyx.’
‘Well, we can’t have everything, can we?’
‘I don’t know about that. I like to think we can.’
Chloe smiled sadly at Jess.
‘That’s because you do have everything.’
Jess squinted at Chloe through the low sun, regarding her.
‘Right now, I guess that’s true. And then one day, maybe it won’t be. If I’ve learned anything this year, it’s that your fortunes can turn on a sixpence.’
Chloe started to laugh, charmed by the old-fashioned expression.
‘Your fortunes can turn on a sixpence? I don’t think I’ve heard that one.’
‘My grandma always says it. It’s only recently that I’ve started to see what she means. What she’s really telling me is to enjoy it while it’s good and not to panic when it’s not. It’ll change.’
That brought Freya to mind. Chloe knew she was indeed panicking about her moving in. But was it because she knew in her heart that living with Freya wasn’t a good idea? Or was she just scared of this big change? It was hard to know.
She was sick of thinking about it, sick of thinking about herself and her ridiculous, self-created problem.
‘Tell me more about Claire, anyway.’
Jess looked out at the water, thinking about Claire.
‘Well, she’s a very calm type of person. Unflappable, I guess you could say. It makes me feel calmer just to be around her.’
Chloe thought she could with some unflappability. Freya wasn’t like that at all. She was a tad frenetic.
But that had its place too, Chloe realised. She moved things forward. She was doing it right now, pushing them both onto another level of the relationship. Perhaps in the way that Jess needed calm, maybe what Chloe needed was someone who knew how to shake her out of her tendency to overthink, to hesitate. To keep nudging her forward so that she didn’t get stuck in the mud of her own uncertainty.
It was something to ponder.
‘Hey, I think the amusements are still open on the pier. Do you want to go and waste your money on games that are almost definitely rigged?’ Jess asked suddenly.
‘More than anything’ Chloe replied happily. Mindless fun was just what she needed.
‘Bugger!’ Jess yelled as she watched her ten pence coin slip right on top of a pile of change in the coin pusher. ‘That should not have happened! I timed that perfectly.’
‘Apparently not or you would have won.’
‘Whose side are you on here?’ Jess said as she slipped another ten pence into the slot, holding it, waiting for the moment the machinery would align in her favour.
‘I can’t believe you’re putting more money in that thing. What was that you were saying before about rigged games?’
‘That was before this got personal. I’ve invested two pounds fifty in this thing. If I turn away now, it wins. I cannot let that happen’ Jess said as she released her coin.
Jess’s coin dropped through the slot, falling cleanly through the obstacles, landing in a good position. Jess and Chloe observed tentatively as it pushed a few coins onto the next shelf down. They were on absolute tenterhooks as several ten pence pieces slipped over the final lip with a satisfying clink.
‘Yes!’ cried Jess.
‘How much did you get?’
Jess collected her coins and counted up.
‘One pound and twenty pence.’
‘That’s less than half of your original investment.’
‘I’m prepared to count that as a win. Let’s walk away now before I change my mind.’
They began to wander around the arcade, wondering what machine to try next. Then Jess spotted just the thing.
‘Oh my god. They’ve got Time Crisis.’
‘What’s Time Crisis?’ Chloe asked.
Jess’s mouth dropped open.
‘Are you kidding me? Only the best game ever. Come on’ she said and grabbed Chloe’s hand, pulling her toward the machine.
She pulled out the two guns from the holsters on the front of the game and handed one to Chloe.
‘What do I do with this?’
‘What do you think you do?’ Jess said with a lazy smile. ‘Point and shoot.’
She shoved a pound into the machine and the game sprang to life. The general plot was explained in a few seconds, some silly thing about rescuing the president’s daughter, and then they were thrown into the action, with characters popping up and firing in the direction of the screen. Chloe realised it was just a slightly more sophisticated duck shoot type of game. She began plugging bad guys with a precision that shocked Jess.
‘I thought you’d never played this!’
‘Like you said, it’s just point and shoot’ Chloe said as she knocked off three thugs in as many seconds.
Twenty breathless minutes later, the game finally ended. They hadn’t reached the end, but they’d gotten further than Jess ever managed before. She slid her gun back in its holster with a deep satisfaction.
‘Good work, sharp shooter’ she said and held up her hand. Chloe high fived it, knowing she’d achieved a certain level of respect in Jess’s eyes. It felt good.
‘I’m starving’ Jess professed. ‘How about you?’
‘I
could definitely eat. The buffet should be starting soon’ Chloe said, looking at her watch.
‘Sod that. It’s not worth the price’ Jess said with a puckered brow.
‘It’s free.’
‘Exactly.’
Chloe rolled her eyes and said ‘Alright then, what are you in the mood for?’
Jess thought for a second and then her face lit up as she declared ‘Mexican.’
Chloe considered the suggestion.
‘I think I could probably be talked into a burrito’ she said.
A little later, Jess and Chloe were shovelling some of the best Mexican food they’d ever eaten into their faces. From the outside, the place had looked little more than a shack, and Chloe had been doubtful. The name ‘Burrito Hut’ hadn’t done much to sweeten its appeal. But Jess had liked the fact that they wandered down a back street and come upon the place by accident.
‘It’s written in the stars, Price’ she’d said. And how could Chloe do anything but follow her in after that?
And Jess had been right. The place was amazing.
‘Isn’t this the best guacamole you’ve ever had in your life?’ Jess said as she scooped a load of it into onto a tortilla chip.
Chloe’s mouth was full so she simply nodded with enthusiasm.
‘You know what, we’ve been talking so much about me and all my news, we haven’t talked about you properly yet’ Jess said.
Chloe nearly choked on some salsa.
‘Oh, well, my year hasn’t been as exciting as yours.’
‘I’ll be the judge of that’ Jess teased. ‘Come on, how’s about this new girl then. Art teacher did you say? Is it true what they say about art teachers?’
Chloe’s brow knitted together in abject confusion.
‘What do they say about art teachers?’
Jess shrugged.
‘I don’t really know but I thought you might fill in the blanks on that. Maybe spill a filthy secret or two.’
‘Chancer!’ Chloe spluttered.
‘You never try, you never get. My grandma says that as well.’
‘Wise grandma.’
‘She has her moments. She’s eighty-seven and she’s had four husbands. Outlived them all. Calls herself the ‘The Black Widow’.’
Chloe smiled at the thought of Jess’s northern grandma, full of wisdom and self-deprecating humour. It made sense that Jess would have a gran like that.
‘She sounds fun.’
‘Usually. I wouldn’t cross her though. She’s got the sharpest tongue.’
Jess shook herself.
‘Listen to me, I’m doing it again. Bloody tricky, you are.’
Chloe raised a surprised eyebrow.
‘Me?’
‘Yeah. We started talking about you and somehow, you deflected it.’
Chloe realised Jess was right.
‘Sorry. It’s an old habit.’
‘Then I’ll be sure to check you on it in future.’
‘I’m not sure I like the sound of that.’
‘Well, you’ve been known to catch me out on my little deflective ways in the past. It’s really only fair.’
‘I did?’
‘Yep. The only difference is that you caught on a few years quicker’ Jess said as she took another forkful of food. ‘So what’s with the evasion?’
Chloe pushed a blob of refried beans around her plate with her knife.
‘I don’t know. It’s just a slightly tricky topic just at the minute.’
‘Trouble in paradise?’
Chloe shook her head vaguely.
‘It’s not, I don’t…’
‘OK, OK, I’m backing off.’
Chloe gave Jess a penetrating look.
‘Don’t take this the wrong way but I’m surprised you’re so interested.’
Jess was astounded.
‘Why wouldn’t I be? We’re friends, aren’t we?’
Chloe’s mouth dropped open, a soundless expression of surprise.
It was weird, after all this time and the ups and downs of her relationship with Jess, she’d never realised that’s what they were now. They’d taken the long route around it but it was obviously true. Jess was her friend.
Whatever stomach-based conflicts Chloe had about Jess, the thought of a real friendship with her felt pretty great.
The following day, the votes were in session and Chloe and Jess were glued to each other all day, quietly giggling during the talks, chattering away during tea breaks. They were actually pleased to be at the conference for once. The beach delivered a beautiful view and they both provided an abundance of laughs for each other.
Chloe found that it was taking her mind off The Freya Problem. In fact, it was pretty easy to ignore it all together.
So when Chloe switched on her phone on Sunday morning, she expected a full inbox and various voice messages asking her what the hell she was playing at. She expected it because it was a fair response to her avoidance. She knew it was childish to have switched her phone off like that. But it was just so easy to do.
However, as every experienced avoider knows, the longer you stick your head in the sand, the more you risk a wrath falling on you when you do eventually pull your head back out.
But when Chloe switched her phone back on, there was only one message.
‘Hi C, I’m sure you’re really busy with the conference but I just wanted to say… sorry about the text bombardment. I think I just got a bit overexcited. Obviously, we can’t make real plans until we see each other, so we can talk it all through properly. Hope you’re feeling as happy about this as I am. I think it’s going to be great. Love you, F xxx’
You could have knocked Chloe over with a feather. For once in her life, refusing to engage with a problem had solved it. Freya had obviously had some time to think and realised she was being way too full on.
Chloe immediately texted back.
‘Of course I’m happy. I think it’s going to be great too xxx’
And she meant it. Maybe this could work out after all.
At breakfast, Chloe practically skipped into the dining room. She spotted Jess eating a banana and staring out of the window.
‘Hey!’ Chloe said as she bounced into a seat across from her.
‘Hi’ Jess said suspiciously. ‘Are they putting amphetamines in the cereal today by any chance?’
‘What, I can’t be in a good mood?’
Jess sat with a raised eyebrow, not buying it. Chloe caved.
‘I’m happy because I’ve decided to move in with Freya, if you must know.’
‘Wow.’
Chloe nodded.
‘I know.’
‘Big move.’
‘Not as big as marriage.’
Jess nodded and said ‘True enough’. She picked a jug of juice from the table and poured it into two glasses, handing one to Chloe and grabbing the other for herself.
‘To us and our big serious relationships.’
Chloe clinked her glass against Jess’s.
‘To us’ she said.
They both took a sip.
A twinkle crept into Jess’s eye.
‘To think, it could have been you and me.’
Chloe smiled coyly.
‘Doubtful.’
Jess was mock offended.
‘Why not?’
‘I just think we’re a bit too different.’
‘When did that ever stop anyone’ Jess said with a soft snort of laughter.
Chloe sighed, wondering if she should say what she was really thinking. It was risky, but they were proper friends now, weren’t they? Honesty was important.
‘I’ll admit; I’ve thought about it. But there was always something in the way, wasn’t there?’
‘Yeah’ Jess said thoughtfully. ‘There always was.’
‘But I’m glad there was. Because now I get to have you as my friend.’
Jess’s smile was wide.