The Last Betrayal

by L. Grubb

  “It’s hard to talk about,” is all I say in return.

  “Please? You owe me that much, Lauren. I fucking loved you!” His voice raised higher as his little speech went on until I felt sure my neighbors could hear him yell.

  “You don’t and won’t ever understand, even if I tell you, Champ,” I whisper, eyes downcast and playing with my mug.

  “I beg you, Lauren. I can’t fucking sleep, eat or anything without you. You’re killing me.” His tone levels out. I look into his bright eyes and see the torment behind them and it tears at something inside me.

  Fuck it. I have nothing to lose. “I left because of me. My body. It’s freakin’ ruined, Champ, and I didn’t want you to see me. The new me.” Tears start falling down my heated cheeks, and I make no attempt to stop them. “I’m embarrassed and ashamed of what those assholes did to me. They’ve turned my body into a monster’s body. It’s horrible.”

  “Lauren...” Champ begins, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down as he swallows. “I wouldn’t have judged you. I’d never judge you. To me, you’re perfect, whether you are covered in scars or not. That doesn’t define a person. Lauren, you’re a survivor and shouldn’t be ashamed of yourself for being so.” He reaches over and grabs one of my hands, rubbing soothing strokes over my knuckles. The tears come down harder, a river of self-pity running down my face.

  “I knew you wouldn’t understand. How could you? You’ve never seen them. They’re hideous,” I whimper, a loud sob escaping me.

  “Show me then.” His voice is low, calming and compassionate, no pity.

  Shall I show him? He’ll run for the hills once he has. Does that matter? I already left him high and dry with no explanation. I slowly lift my floral shirt up and expose my body and what I’ve kept hidden this past month. I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to see his disgusted expression.

  “They’re not even that bad, Lauren.”

  I open one eye a tiny bit and peek at him. His eyes are shining with desire, imploring me to come closer. I pull my shirt back down and wrap my arms around my middle in a protective embrace. Feeling a little self-conscious, I back away and turn to look out the kitchen window.

  “Babe, you’re still as beautiful as you’ve always been,” Champ says from behind me, closer than he was before.

  A shiver runs down my body from his husky, deep voice, and I take a shallow breath to calm my erratically beating heart. I swallow down the nervousness that’s overriding my body and turn to face him. “You’re just saying that.”

  “No, Lauren, I’m not. You’re beautiful. You really have nothing to be ashamed of.” He half-smiles at me before moving closer and then placing his hands on my shoulders, he looks into my eyes and says in a quiet voice, “I love you, Lauren. You almost killed me when you left. Honestly, I’ve been an asshole to everyone. I need you, sweetheart.”

  My body tenses at his declaration. “Really?” I whisper, eyes wide in shock.

  “Really. Believe me, sweetheart, I didn’t know these alien feelings before it was already too late. I shouldn’t have let you go so easily.” Pain flashes in his eyes, guilt swirling in their depths.

  I have words to say but they’re stuck in the hollow of my throat. I open and close my mouth like a fish out of water which makes Champ chuckle deep in his chest. My eyes flutter down to his tattoos adorning his left arm. His chest vibrates with his laughter, and I look up into his eyes.

  “Like what you see?” He waggles his brows up and down, and the corners of his mouth lift up in a sly grin.

  I smack him playfully on his muscled arm, and he grabs it in feigned pain. “Oh shut up, Champ. That was hardly painful.” I laugh, shaking my head at him. Sipping my coffee hides the smile on my face.

  Champ returns to his seat on the other side of the breakfast bar, smiling from ear to ear.

  “I thought you hated me?” I ask. Do I really want to know the answer to that? Not really, but it has to be discussed.

  “I hate you for leaving me the way you did. Without an explanation. But, I can’t seem to stop loving you.” He lowers his head and stares at the marble counter.

  “I’m sorry. I thought to myself, ‘Champ can do so much better than me,’ with my insecurities because of my scars, I thought it best to just leave.” I turn my head to look out my window at the blue sky, scattered lightly with fluff filled clouds.

  I hear his audible sigh before he replies, “Look, I understand now why you ran, but you need to know you didn’t have to. I’m not that shallow.”

  “Deep down, Champ, I know that.” I make a show of looking at my watch on my left wrist. “Champ, look, I need to get a move on. I don’t want to be late for work.”

  “Okay, sweetheart. Thanks for the coffee.” He chugs down the rest of his coffee and places the mug in the sink. “One last thing…Please give us another shot?”

  “Can we just take things slow?” I ask him, heat scorching my cheeks under his intense scrutiny.

  “Sure, babe.” He leans down and brushes his lips over mine, a light but electrifying kiss all in one.

  He pulls back and smiles down at me and strokes a hand down my cheek. “I’ll call you.”

  “Okay,” I respond, walking him to my apartment door, wishing I didn’t have to work.

  He swaggers out of my apartment, a spring in his step. Before he starts making his way down the stairs to leave my building, he turns, giving me an enormous, boyish grin and a wink.

  I walk back into my apartment, locking the door behind me. That went better than what I had envisioned in my head. Maybe I was being stupid and silly after all.

  That didn’t go as I’d expected. I was going to rant and scream at her. To be honest, I thought I was going to have to pry the answers out of her. How was it so easy to get an explanation? I won’t dwell on it, I have the answers I was looking for without a fight.

  I pull into the courtyard of the MC clubhouse, hop off my bike and remove my helmet before I enter through the front double doors. As I walk into the main room, I hear Cobra. A smile forms on my face hearing his voice. I miss having that son of a bitch around here; it’s too quiet and uneventful.

  “Cobra, my man!” I exclaim, walking up to the bar where he is.

  “Champ!” We do our complicated handshake and man hug before ordering drinks. “Dude, how the hell are you?”

  “I’m better now that I’ve finally spoken to Lauren,” I say, grabbing my cold Bud off the bar and taking a long swig, moaning as the cold liquid runs down my throat.

  “Really?” Cobra raises a questioning brow at me. “How’d it go?”

  “Better than I thought it would,” I answer, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips.

  “The last I heard, you hated her guts?” He poses this like a question.

  “Yeah, I did, still do a little. But, she has explained to me why she ran from us and I get it.” I shrug nonchalantly at him, not daring to allow him to pull me out of my newfound happiness.

  “I’m glad you finally pulled your head out your ass to listen to her.” Cobra laughs.

  I glare at him before finishing my beer. “Wanna go out for a smoke?”

  “Why the hell not?” He stands from his stool and leads the way to the backyard. I’ve missed him, I just wouldn’t tell him that. He’d tease me for days calling me a pussy if he found this out.

  We step out onto the patio in the fresh mid-morning air, lighting up our cigarettes and heading toward the small pond that’s situated further down the yard. I love the area; it’s my go-to place for reflecting and to think about shit.

  “You okay, man?” Cobra asks me.

  “I will be. She took my heart and ripped it to shreds. I don’t think I’ve ever hated someone as much, that right there makes me feel like shit.” I shake my head. I would never hurt a woman, or bring them harm, but she boiled my blood when she left with no explanation. If she had just talked to me, explained, I would have understood. I mean, fuck, who gives a shit about scars? They don’t de
fine a person. They show how strong she is. But she doesn’t see it like that. She thinks she’s a monster, damaged goods. Lauren is far from it. To me, she’s a Goddess and she always will be.

  “Do you still love her?” Cobra stops at the edge of the pond, turning to me with questioning eyes.

  “Yeah, man. I can’t stop thinking about her.” I lower my head and watch the fish flapping in the dirty water.

  “You’re a sensitive dude, aren’t you?” he says. “I never knew you were such a softy.”

  “Meaning?” This shit is what gets me angry the easiest. I know he’s just riling me up, but still. I may be a badass biker, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings. “You’re just as pussy-whipped as I am, brother.”

  Cobra chuckles, his chest shaking with the vibration. “Touché, dude.”

  The corner of my lips lift in amusement, I do love when I get the last word in which doesn’t happen very often with Cobra.

  “You coming to the party tonight with Alexis?” I inquire. If Alexis comes, Lauren might as well. The thought itself makes my chest warm and my heart beat faster.

  “Yep. Alexis loves a good party, and she misses everyone. Work’s been crazy for her,” he explains, eyes alight with love at talking about his Old Lady.

  “Do you think she’ll bring Lauren?” I try to act disinterested, kicking at a pebble by my feet.

  “I can plant the seed in her head, if you want?” he laughs, the corners of his mouth lifting. It’s fucking scary how well he can read me, even though I school my facial features as much as humanly possible.

  “Feel free. I don’t care either way.” I lift my head high; shoulders back and shove my hands in my jacket pockets.

  “You can’t fool me, brother. I know you better than you know yourself.” He shakes his head, chuckling, slapping my back as he walks past to go back inside.

  I stand by myself, contemplating life. Sometimes I wish Lauren never entered my life, shit was easier when my heart was shrouded in ice. I never thought about having a life partner, someone to share everything with, before. Never had I speculated having an Old Lady, a lover, but with Lauren...I want her to be my everything. Can I get past her leaving me? Can I really get over the fact she left without as much as a goodbye? I fucking hope so. Man, do I hope so.

  The incessant ringing of my cell wakes me from my nap, its annoying tone making me reach across the couch to grab it from the coffee table.

  “Hello?” I mumble.

  Alexis’ laughter on the line has me grumble unladylike curses into my couch cushions.

  “Did I wake you?” she asks, still laughing, though I can tell she’s trying not to.

  “What do you think?” I say sarcastically. Ugh, I hate people that wake me up, especially from a dream I was enjoying.

  “No need to be rude, chick. Look, there’s a party tonight at the clubhouse. Will you come with me?” she asks in a sickly sweet voice that she knows grates on my nerves and has me agreeing just to make it stop.

  “Do I have a choice?” I sigh, pushing myself up into a sitting position.

  “Not really. I’ll pick you up in a cab at seven. Don’t be late!” With that, she hangs up.

  I throw my cell back onto the glass coffee table before getting up and heading straight for the coffee machine. Coffee, my first love, the only thing that gets me out of bed, or off the couch on this occasion.

  Thankfully, there is still coffee in the pot so I don’t have to wait around to make it, thank fuck. I grab my mug and head to the bathroom for a hot shower, needing to unwind my knotted back. Shit, sleeping on the sofa wasn’t such a hot idea after all.

  Stepping under the piping hot spray, I moan in satisfaction at the water pounding on my aching muscles. Ten minutes later, I wrap my wet body in a fluffy black towel and dry off. Walking out of the bathroom, I shiver as the cold air hits my skin, goose bumps rise all over, and I hurry to my bedroom to find something to wear tonight.

  Choices, choices. I stand in front of my closet, fingers tapping my mouth, thinking of which dress to wear. I need something that will knock Champ on his ass when he sees me.

  I’ve narrowed it down to two dresses. Both extremely short. One red and one black and gold. I glance over at my alarm clock by the side of my bed, checking to see how much time I have. Noticing I have spent half an hour picking an outfit, I curse under my breath and grab the red dress. Fuck it that will do.

  I place the red Versace dress on my bed and walk to my dresser underneath the window. Opening the top drawer, I pick out a lacy, red, Victoria’s Secret bra and thong set and hurriedly put them on.

  I sit at my vanity that’s situated against the opposite wall to my bed. Drying my hair quickly but efficiently, I soon have silky and natural curls, cascading over my shoulders. Perfect.

  I apply my make-up, brushing shadow on my eyes to create a smoky effect. Done. Looking to the clock one more time, I have fifteen minutes to get my ass ready and downstairs to meet Alexis. I jump up from my vanity and over to my bed quickly slipping my dress on, struggling with the zipper at the side.

  Returning to my closet, I pick out my red, Lou Boutin pumps and shove my feet into them. I quickly grab my Prada shoulder purse, stuffing essentials in it and closing it with difficulty. Damn, I look like some rich kid, but I was left a hefty insurance from my parents when they passed away. Why the hell they left me anything is beyond me, they hardly knew I existed.

  Hearing my cell chime from the other room, I rush out, tripping on the carpet and almost falling and breaking my neck. Damn, that would of fucking hurt like a bitch.

  “Hello?” I answer, breathless from rushing in heels.

  “I’m downstairs, hurry your ass!” she shouts at me.

  “All right. All right, chill it. I’m on my way down.” I end the call and shove my phone in my bulging bag.

  Making sure to lock the door behind me, I make my way carefully down my apartment building’s stairs. Maybe wearing heels was a shit idea after all.

  I’m sitting here like an idiot, glancing in the direction of the main doors. She has to come; I need to see her angelic face again. Even if she isn’t ready to talk to me in front of everyone, I can at least look at her.

  Lost in thought, I don’t realize that Cobra leaves to the table and walks toward the entrance of the main room. I shake my head to clear the clouded thoughts and look over to him.

  I freeze. Sitting there with my eyes wide. Lauren looks fucking stunning. Blonde hair curled around her shoulders, short, red dress and fuck me heels, and legs that go on forever. I appraise her from head to toe. I swallow and my dry throat makes me cough. I quickly take a swig of my Bud before I embarrass myself further, but not taking my eyes off the sex kitten that’s walked into the room.

  Placing my empty bottle on the table with a thud, I stand and walk over to say hello to them.

  “Hello, beautiful, it’s so good to see you,” I say giving Alexis a peck on the cheek.

  “Hey, Champ! Your hair is getting longer.” She chuckles, tugging on my hair playfully. I gently slap her hand away while laughing along with her. “Don’t touch the hair, babe!” I exclaim in mock horror.

  Everyone around us laughs at my pussy ways, and I throw them the finger, shaking my head.

  I take a chance at looking at Lauren. She’s staring at me with a smile on her face.

  “Do I amuse you, baby?” I ask seductively.

  A rosy tint glosses her cheeks, and she looks down at her hands clasped in front of her. Instant, fucking, hard-on. I discreetly rearrange myself to get more comfortable before I lean forward and, with two fingers, tilt her head up.

  “You aren’t shy, Lauren, I know you’re not. Don’t hide your face from me.” I lick my top lip and smirk arrogantly. I know what I do to her and she can’t fucking hide that.

  Her eyes are as wide as saucers; she stares at me, visibly swallowing. Speechless? Well, who knew?

  “Cat got your tongue, sweetheart?” I chuckle mercilessly. “Neve
r thought I’d see the day.”

  She hit my arm with a resounding smack, making me laugh harder knowing that I’d achieved a response from her.

  “Shut up, Champ. You’re such a loser.”

  I can see she’s trying damned hard not to smile or laugh, the corners of her mouth are twitching. Warmth pools in my stomach at the sight of her letting go around me again. Maybe our relationship is salvageable.

  “Come on, babe, let’s get you a drink, shall we?” I take her hand and lead her to the bar, pushing a few brothers out the way so we can get served.

  “Hey, watch it, brother,” Flipper says to me, wiping down his navy shirt with his hand. Oops.

  “Well, stop hogging the fucking bar then,” I retort, my eyes creasing at the corners in amusement.

  “Something funny?” he asks me.

  “Yeah, you spilled something down your shirt.” I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me at the expression on his face.

  “What can I get y’all?” Brian, the newest prospect, asks us from behind the bar. His southern drawl entices the attention of all the club whores every day. He isn’t short of pussy, that’s for sure.

  “Bud, and whatever the pretty lady wants.” I turn my head to look at Lauren, a smile flitting across her face. It’s so good to see it again, even if she is trying to keep it hidden. I know it’s there and what it does to me.

  “Vodka and Redbull, please,” she informs him.

  “Coming up!” Brian exclaims. He can be a bit eccentric when he wants to be, but he’s a great laugh and hardworking. I’m sure it won’t take long ‘til he’s patched in.

  After placing our drinks on the bar coaster in front of us, he gives a nod of his head and rushes off to serve others. I collect our drinks and turn to find an empty table. Shit out of luck, as always, I lead Lauren out to the backyard, where there are a few empty picnic tables.

  “Why are we coming outside?” she asks from close behind me.

  “Because, if you didn’t realize, there were no tables available inside.” I toss a look over my shoulder at her. The corners of her lips twitch in amusement and the light shining in her eyes has me smiling.