Smart Girls Don't Wear Mascara

by Cecily Paterson

  For a moment I wavered. And then I didn’t waver anymore.

  No way, I said to myself and to the silly black cloud which shrivelled a little bit, but then flew up and away into the ceiling. I’m Abby Smart. And I’m going to top this test and this class. And I’m going to win the scholarship to Baker. And I’m going to keep my friends together. So you can’t tell me to fail because I won’t.

  When the results to all three of the tests came back two weeks later, I was top in every single one. At recess I wanted to know how everyone else had gone. ‘Who got the second highest in maths?’ No one, not even Sam, bothered to answer. They were too busy watching Buzz and Stella do some ridiculous dance move with their legs flapping around and arms on a crazy angle. Jessie was trying to copy them both.

  ‘Where’d you get that from?’ I asked, folding up my test and putting it in my pocket. ‘It looks ... weird.’

  ‘It’s hip hop. Off the video clip for “Shining Stars”. I played it to you yesterday on my iPod. Don’t you remember?’

  ‘It’s awesome,’ said Jessie, stopping her twist and shuffle to sound ridiculously over-the-top. ‘It’s my new favourite song ever, like in the whole wide world. But I haven’t seen the video yet. I’ll have to get it up on Mum’s computer.’

  ‘Is this the song by that group called the Sea Monkeys?’ I asked. I folded my arms. The song was okay. Not perfect. It was kind of annoying and the girl’s voice was screechy.

  ‘Sea Monkeys?’ laughed Buzz. ‘You mean “Monkey See Monkey Do”. Ha-ha-ha. That’s hilarious.’

  ‘“Monkey See Monkey Do” is amazing,’ said Stella, walking into the conversation like she owned it. ‘And I loved their last album too. It was amazing. Plus their singer is amazing. And the dancing is always ...’

  ‘Amazing?’ I said. I couldn’t help it. The word just popped out of my mouth.

  Stella stopped. I could see her eyes narrow quickly. But then she relaxed her face back to normal. ‘You know. If you study hard enough, you’ll probably be able to spell amazing.’ She shrugged. ‘It’s just a shame you don’t know anything about good music. Or stuff in life that actually counts.’

  She smiled at me—an annoying, twisted smile. ‘Life’s not just about topping daggy school tests that no one cares about.’

  My mouth dropped open, but she didn’t see it. She’d already turned and walked away.

  ‘The Sea Monkeys are stupid,’ I said, under my breath. But no one heard me.

  No one at all.

  Chapter 15

  I couldn’t shake the bad feelings for the rest of the day, and they seemed to make everything more irritating than usual. On the bus Miles was talking too loudly and dropping crumbs out of his mouth while eating a cupcake. Normally when he did that, I just ignored him, but this time it made me ball my fists. Later, when we were walking up the driveway, he started kicking gravel and running circles around me.

  ‘Stop it,’ I said.

  ‘Stop what?’

  ‘That. What you’re doing. You’re really annoying.’

  He gave me a face. ‘Am not. You’re just as annoying as me and you’re bossy too. You stop being bossy and I’ll stop being annoying.’ He stuck out his tongue and blew a raspberry. I reached out and swiped him over the head and like a baby, he began to cry.

  ‘Oh, waaah,’ I said. ‘I didn’t even touch you. It was the lightest thing. Stop making a fuss.’

  ‘It hurt,’ he said and held his head. ‘Ow, meanie.’

  We climbed the steps to the front door and he ran in yelling for Mum. I let out a breath of disgust, dropped my bag in the hallway and marched straight into my room, slamming the door behind me.

  ‘Aaa-bby?’ I heard. Mum—that screech meant trouble. I opened the door and stuck my head out. Innocently.

  ‘Yes?’

  ‘Did you hit Miles?’

  ‘I might have gently passed my hands over his head.’

  ‘He says it’s a hit.’

  I sighed. ‘I’m sorry, Miles.’ I shut the door again, found some headphones in the back of the cupboard and stuck them into the jack of my old CD player. ‘Tomorrow’ was the first song on the Annie CD. I listened to it for five seconds, but all I could think about were Buzz, Jessie and I winning at the Show. I screwed up my face, balled my fists and ripped it out of the player. Hmmmph.

  Opening the door again, I checked the hall for Miles, but he’d obviously headed outside. Good. Food time—undisturbed. I went out to the kitchen and looked in the pantry, but Mum’s usual shopping day was tomorrow, so there was nothing to eat. I mean, literally nothing. At least, nothing I wouldn’t have to soak or boil or blend into an edible mixture. No chips, no biscuits, no crackers. Now I’d had it. I stomped my foot on the floor and slammed the cupboard door shut.

  ‘What is wrong with you?’ Mum said. ‘Hitting Miles, slamming doors. This isn’t you.’

  Right at the back of my head I could feel tears starting up. They were heading around to my face. I scrunched everything up to try to stop them.

  ‘Nothing’s wrong,’ I said. ‘Just there’s nothing to eat.’

  Mum shrugged. ‘I know,’ she said. ‘But I’m shopping tomorrow.’

  A flash of rage shot right out of my mouth before I could even stop it.

  ‘Tomorrow doesn’t get me afternoon tea today.’

  Mum looked at me, kind of frozen in shock.

  ‘What is that kind of attitude? Fix it, please. Or you’ll find yourself in trouble. You’re not usually like this.’

  I kicked my foot on the floor so hard that it hurt. ‘Nothing’s usually like this.’

  After a bit more searching, with Mum tut-tutting and giving me strange sideways looks nearby, I found some old bread in the fridge, which I made into toast. Before Mum could start asking more questions, I got my swimming stuff and headed out the door.

  ‘I’m going to the water hole.’

  ‘It’s a bit cold for that, isn’t it?’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  I’d never worried about cold water. Especially not in the river. It’s like I’m not even aware of it. Mum can’t stick her toes in without yelping, but I’ve always jumped straight in—fearless. I don’t think about being uncomfortable. I just want to get in and feel the water on my arms and the swirling mud under my toes.

  I climbed out, over the big rock and down the sticking-out gum tree root, to retrieve the rope swing. I pulled it all the way back, right up to the top of the rock. Taking a deep breath, I launched myself off, out, over and away, swinging as high and as far as I could. On the outer point of the arc, I took a deep breath, yelled my name out loud—‘Abb-eeeeeee’— and let go of the rope, falling into the dark brown shadows of the water hole below.

  I hit the water hard and felt the push of my body down, down, down into the dark, as far as I could go. And then, just at the exact point of stopping, I kicked my feet and swam my hands up as hard as I could, heading for the shimmering light above me. The surface. My chest was hurting and my muscles were burning, and just when I thought I couldn’t hold on anymore, I broke through the surface, spluttering and shouting.

  ‘Ha-ha. Yeah.’ I punched my wet fist in the air, droplets flying around me. ‘Take that.’

  ‘Take what?’

  My fist froze midair, my other arm working hard to keep me afloat. I brought it down slowly. A little bit embarrassed.

  ‘Miles. Go away,’ I yelled without turning around. ‘I’ll tell Mum you’re spying.’

  But it wasn’t Miles. Instead, I heard a splash and some swimming noises and then Sam was next to me, his brown hair still dry.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I said. Not in a happy, good-to-see-you kind of way, either.

  ‘Um, swimming?’ said Sam. His smile spread over his face and immediately I felt better. Like a weight was off my shoulders. He kept talking. ‘You,
me, the waterhole. Our swing. You know.’

  I splashed him in the face. It swamped his hair and I laughed. ‘Yeah, okay. I’ll let you.’

  He reared up out of the water, his hand high. ‘Let me? I’ll dunk you.’ And his hand came down on the top of my head, pushing me in hard and fast. I didn’t even have time to breathe before my face was totally in the water and my arms were flailing about. When he let go, I was coughing.

  ‘Wow, if you’d been Miles, I really would have killed you,’ I said, scrambling out of his reach towards the rocks. I found a foothold and clambered up to find my usual sitting-and-watching spot. Sam swam over and climbed out as well. His sitting-and-watching spot was right next to mine.

  ‘You okay?’ he said.

  I felt suspicious. ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

  ‘Oh, you know. You were really cranky on the bus today. And you didn’t seem normal at school.’

  I made a face at him. ‘So I’m abnormal, you’re saying?’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘No, obviously not. Just not Abby-normal. Ha-ha. Geddit? You just seemed, I don’t know, weird. Kind of upset.’

  I looked away and scratched a line on the surface of the rock with my fingernail.

  ‘It’s just, you know ...’ I started. But no words came out. How can you tell someone what’s wrong when you can’t explain it yourself? I decided to take another approach and sat up straighter.

  ‘Let me ask you a question,’ I said. And I looked right into his dripping face and brown eyes. ‘What do you think of Stella?’

  Sam’s face went red. His eyes went big and he leaned back a little bit.

  ‘Why?’

  ‘I just want to know what you think of her. That’s all.’

  He squirmed, uncomfortable for some reason. Maybe there was a rock under his bottom. I peered down but couldn’t see anything.

  ‘Before I answer, I have to ask you a question.’ Sam’s voice came out a bit squeaky. I raised my eyebrows.

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Um …’ He turned his head to the side so I couldn’t see his face properly. There was a pause.

  ‘Well? Are you going to ask it?’ I hit him on the leg. It was the only part I could reach. He put his hand down and held on to the part that I’d touched and then I felt guilty. Maybe I’d hurt him.

  He turned back towards me and looked at his feet. ‘Um, what do you think of me?’

  ‘Of you?’ My voice came out like a hoot. I probably scared some cockatoos away. ‘What do I think of you?’

  He nodded, still not looking at me.

  ‘Um, it’s obvious, right? You’re Sam. I’m Abby. We swim in the water hole together. We jump on the trampoline together. And we’re excellent friends.’

  Sam turned his head away for a second, and then brought it back towards me, his other hand swiping his still-dripping hair out of his eyes. ‘Yeah,’ he said. And his voice sounded more normal again. ‘Yeah. We’re excellent friends.’ He smiled. But it wasn’t the smile he’d had on before. This one was like his mouth was smiling, but his eyes weren’t.

  I got impatient. ‘So are you going to answer my question?’ I asked. ‘What do you think of Stella?’

  Sam shrugged. He looked up to the trees, and then he stood up, so I could only see his back. ‘I think she’s nice,’ he said. ‘Really pretty, too. And Year Six is cool with her in it. Way more cool than it used to be.’

  I practically choked. And then I stood up so we were shoulder to shoulder.

  ‘You’re an idiot,’ I said. ‘Can’t you even see what she’s doing?’

  ‘What?’ Sam’s voice sounded angry. ‘What’s she doing?’

  ‘She’s …’ I clenched my fists and held my legs tight. ‘She’s making everything different. And wrong.’ She’s fooling everyone. The thought bounced to the top of my head. ‘She doesn’t actually like us. She doesn’t like Kangaroo Valley. But no one can see it. No one except me.’

  Sam turned to face me. ‘No, Abby,’ he said. ‘You’re the one who’s wrong. You’re the one who can’t see it. You don’t even give her a chance.’

  From under my feet, a flash of anger shot up through me, right up to the sky. I felt like I was making lightning bolts with my hair.

  ‘I can so see it,’ I said, my mouth gritted. ‘And I already gave her a chance.’

  I jumped off the side of the rock—splat—onto the damp sand and mud below. My ankles got splashed with dirt and some even flew up to my face, but I didn’t care. I pulled a leech off my leg, dabbed at the blood spot and then started for the path home, storming over roots and leaves and rocks.

  Stella was a meanie. And Sam was being stupid if he liked her.

  Chapter 16

  I laid awake that night until long after I’d heard the soft padding of Mum’s footsteps down the hall and Dad’s teeth brushing noises. My brain wouldn’t let me sleep. It was yelling at me, crying and sobbing in its loudest voice, Nothing is going to ever be right again, Abby.

  If Stella hadn’t turned up, my life would still be great. I wouldn’t have this terrible feeling in my chest all the time, like things were out of control. If Stella hadn’t batted her eyelashes at Buzz and Jessie, they’d still want to do the Smart Girls Club at school. If Stella hadn’t shown up with her iPod and her stupid dance moves, we’d still be able to play handball at lunchtime. Everything would be normal. And exactly like it was before, when the Smart Girls were happy.

  I knew what had caused the problem. If I could just get rid of it, everything would go back to normal, right?

  Right.

  I pondered for a little while. I could hear the distant grumble of Mum and Dad’s voices through the bedroom wall before their light switch went click and everything was quiet. How could I get rid of Stella? I had a vague thought that I could find out who her Mum was and ask her to take her back, but that seemed weird. And a bit difficult. What would I say to her anyway?

  Maybe I could get Sam to catch a diamond python in the bush (it wouldn’t be dangerous—those things were totally harmless) and put it in her backyard. I knew she hated snakes with a passion. Even just a little one would be enough to scare her off, surely? She’d have to go back to Sydney then. My eyes brightened up in the dark, but then they dulled again. There were two definite problems to that scenario. One, Sam and I had had a fight; two, it wouldn’t be safe for the snake. I couldn’t trust that Stella’s dad wouldn’t kill it or call someone else in to chop its head off. I’d totally feel bad forever if that happened.

  No. The only way to fix the Stella problem was to take everyone else away from her. And that would mean reminding Buzz and Jessie about the Smart Girls Club (again!) and their vows of friendship. I’d have to really point out the dangers that could come from her being around. I mean, how obvious did it have to be? Smart Girls didn’t wear mascara. And Stella was clearly not a Smart Girl.

  It’s okay, I said to myself. Tomorrow, I’ll just remind them of how it used to be. I’ll tell them that we must guard our friendship and our club from outsiders. And I’ll be kind, but firm to Stella. She’s not in charge. And if she thinks she is, she’s going to be up against me. Tomorrow will be better. You’ll see.

  In the morning I apologised to Mum for yesterday’s rudeness and was extra nice to Miles, who just looked weirdly at me and then at Mum. She gave me a look.

  ‘You feel better today?’ she asked.

  ‘Definitely,’ I said. I took a deep breath and I smiled. ‘I’ve sorted it all out.’

  Mum raised her eyebrows. ‘Okay.’

  And then I went to school.

  And everything got unravelled. All over again.

  From the very first minute, it was a total disaster. I literally got off the bus to see my worst nightmare in front of me.

  Buzz wearing lip gloss.

  Lip gloss!

  I couldn’t say anything,
so I didn’t. I just kind of stood there and looked at her. And obviously I must have had my mouth open because Buzz said, ‘What’s the matter, Abby? Are you catching flies?’

  My chin came up practically to my nose, but I still couldn’t speak. I blinked, then looked, then blinked again. ‘Lip gloss?’ I finally asked. ‘Really?’

  Buzz flung her hands through her hair. ‘Abby. It’s just lip gloss. Far out. Don’t be such a baby about it. Plus, Stella says it looks nice. And I agree.’

  I swallowed. Hard. ‘But it’s school. And you’re eleven. And we’re the Smar ...’

  She gave me a look like, Don’t be stupid.

  ‘The Smart Girls?’ she said. ‘Is that your only reason for being mean about my lip gloss? Because if it is, it’s a dumb one.’

  I gasped at her. ‘I’m not being mean, I just ...’

  But Buzz walked up the path towards the classrooms, swinging her bag over her shoulder. I followed along, kind of scurrying. Mice did it when they wanted to get somewhere sneakily. Wombats even did it when they were getting away from a tricky situation. And now, here I was, scurrying. This was not the beginning of the day I had wanted to have.

  ‘Buzz,’ I said, calling after her. ‘Can I talk to ...’ But once again, I was interrupted. This time by Jessie, sitting on the steps to the classroom. Again, I was stopped in my tracks by the sight of lip gloss. But Jessie wasn’t just wearing lip gloss. She had on mascara as well.

  And there in front of me, waving her magic makeup wand of deceit and dishonour, was the evil makeup fairy herself. Stella.

  Before I could speak, Stella opened her mouth.

  ‘Hey, Abby,’ she said. And her voice was super sweet. ‘How are you? Good bus trip?’

  She smiled. But I’d seen that kind of smile before. It was all mouth, no eyes.

  ‘Are we in your way?’

  I gaped. My mouth was open again but my brain came in and took control. Close your mouth, it said to me, and I snapped my jaw shut again.

  ‘Um,’ I said. And all the words I wanted to say, all the warnings I’d been intending to give and the reminders I’d been hoping to deliver, just dropped right out of my head, on a gurgling slippery slide down my throat, through my stomach, right out my feet and onto the concrete.