Shattered Skies - Night Waves

by Heather Linn

  There is no reason to ignore the fact that we are literally from two different worlds. I could never be with him, not that he would ever want me, if he knew the truth. I am nothing more than rogue human trash and rogues are killed, not invited into the royal family.

  Then there was Darien; handsome, loyal, stubborn Darien, the once little boy that used to protect me when the others were being mean. The only one in the family that stood up for me and to me time and time again, he let me know that I was not alone. I was a lot to handle and he was the only one that could ever tell me to grow up and stop acting the brat when I so clearly was. He is my rock, someone that is strong enough to take me the way I am. He has seen me at my worst, watched the flames shoot from my eyes when I was angry. He knows that being with me would never be simple and still he wanted me. Darien was the man that I knew my heart belonged to. It just took me a while to realize that I was OK with giving it to him. Not because it wouldn’t please me to be his, but because I didn't think anyone deserved to have to deal with the curse that is me.

  He had someone that would be good to him and give him the things that were important to him, all the things that I could never give him. There was no room for me in his life before we lost the rest of our family because back then he had Jewel, and she was the perfect woman. She wanted nothing more than to spend her life serving him; giving him the home and family that he deserved. She loved him, and she was going to give him a child. Until of course I took that away from him with a deadly thrust of my hand.

  I used to wish every now and then, before Jewel was gone, that I could be the one that was content enough to be serve him, content enough to be the happy little house wife. Now that it is possible for me to step in and take her place, I wasn't sure if I wanted to. Darien would fight for my love until his dying day; there was no doubt in my mind about that.

  He really was amazing. He had lost a soon to be wife and child because of me and still he was able to let it go. He truly believed and trusted in me enough to know that I had done what I had to do. In fact, I think that he believed that more than I did, and if it hadn’t been for him telling me my actions had been OK, I think my sanity would have been lost with Jewel that night.

  The fact that I am not falling asleep in his arms every night should be enough to prove that there is something wrong with me. I have the man of my dreams right in front of me, wanting nothing more than to share his life with me, and I let him sit there alone. I guess that old saying about getting something and not wanting it as bad as you thought plays a part in my predicament. Now that I could have Darien it wasn't enough; the twisted part of me still craves Akia’s touch. A part of me so dark, that no one has been able to awaken me from the darkness. That part that makes me lose my mind whenever Akia touches me. I can't explain it. I don't know if I really want to explain it. There is so much passion and need buried in my darkness that no rationality exists for me when it comes to Akia. His touch brings out an animal need that human beings were supposed to have evolved above. And animal needs died out with the cavemen, right?

  Darien will never touch that part of me. Darien is safe. He is calm and he knows me like no one else ever has or ever will. He has watched me grow up; he has held me when I cried. He has even wiped away the tears away that I never let anyone see when I hurt. I need safe; it is the smart route to take. I guess you can call the man that set you up to be raped, safe. I understand why he did it. He wasn’t being mean or punishing me, he was trying to somehow protect me. It took me a long time to realize that, a longer time to trust him again but I can be a very reasonable person if I can let go of my ego for a while.

  If I had been alone when I discovered that I could no longer kill a Dominus with sex, my life would have ended. The shock would have shown on my face and I would have panicked. When I panic I do stupid things. I have been pretty lucky so far and my superwoman complex hasn't failed me yet, but I don't know how many times I can temp fate. Darien knew me well enough to know that I would not have believed it, if Dr. Walker had suddenly told me that my reason for living was gone. Showing me was the only way to get the point across. I have a tendency to be downright stubborn and it’s that stubborn part of me that always seems to win. I probably would have run out the door just to prove Dr. Walker wrong. Darien told me later, but only after I begged, that when I passed out, he and Dr. Walker were able to kill Jax, the Dominus that raped me. They pulled him limb from limb but not before he had almost ripped Darien’s throat out.

  I almost lost Darien that night and I hadn’t even known it. I don't know what I would have done if I had woken up and found he was gone. I had slept through all of it. I had not realized through my anger just how much of a risk he took to find out if I would be able to stay on the front lines. He had put his life on the line for me because he knew that killing the monsters was my reason for living. It would have been easier for him to talk Walker into pulling me from the project, but he hadn’t. That fact alone proves why I need him. He has my back when I am too hardheaded to cover it myself.

  It wasn’t until just recently that it hit me, the realization that I was going to have to try again. I couldn’t spend the rest of my life wondering if I could still kill the monsters or if I was even more useless than I usually felt. I had to know one way or the other where I stood in the order of things. I needed to know if my purpose in our mission should go from front lines to baby maker. I would never be OK with baby maker, if that is what was to be. I would do it though, if all other venues were exhausted.

  The journey ahead of me promised to be a life altering one. I would have to depend on other people for the first time in my life. I needed the men in my life way more than they needed me. I would be lying if I said that thought hadn't kept me awake a few nights. I was not great at depending on people. I didn't feel that I had the right to burden, Jaden, Walker, or even Darien with the painful future that might lie ahead for me. I just hoped that I wouldn’t let them down again. I hoped that I was strong enough to take care of them; they were all that I had left.

  Chapter Two

  The breeze coming off the ocean was nice and cool. The ocean amazed me; how perfect it felt when you were close to it, how the further away from it you got, the hotter it became. South Carolina was a beautiful, peaceful place. I felt at home there with the ocean and the huge plantations, well, at home as any human pretending to be a Dominus could feel. The heat was rising off the pavement in waves that spiraled towards the burning sun. As hot as it was I still felt good. Something about the feel of my tanning skin made me feel a little closer to the old world. A world where humans had nothing to fear but other humans, a world where you could spend all day laying on the beach if you wanted to; and yeah, that does sound perfect.

  “Cat I know you hear me, wait up.”

  The sound of my name made me jump a little; my mind just wasn’t with me today. I was a world away, in a place that I had never been. I should know better than to let myself get lost in thought when I am out wandering around alone. I turned to match a face with the voice. Standing with the sun behind him was one of the most beautiful sights ever. Darien looked like a Greek God. He stood there with that smile on his face, the smile that only I was lucky enough to understand. He was shirtless, just because it was way too hot outside, not because he was showing off. His tanned, broad shoulders were glistening with sweat from the rays of sun beating down on him. I couldn't help looking him up and down, his chest was something that could have gotten him on magazine covers; every inch of him was perfect. He had abs that looked like they were sculpted out of clay. His long upper body was lean and toned, flowing flawlessly to his waist. I almost hated to admit it, but my mind went to the gutter for just a second. That second was enough to make me blush at the thought of what was hidden just below his waistband, and I wanted to take advantage of what was outlined there. I didn't know what was wrong with me but my hormones were running wantonly.

  Then my gaze shifted to his face. Everything worked together, lik
e someone had mapped his face and designed it before they set it into place. His nose was strong but not big. His cheekbones offset his forehead perfectly. His eyelashes were a little thicker than most men’s, but it was OK because they framed his eyes and showcased them, like a past museum would have showcased the most precious jewels in their collection.

  Then there were his lips. I could have day dreamed about his lips all day. They were wide set and very full, the kind of lips that just made you want to kiss them. The kind of lips that made you feel guilty for thinking about how amazing they would feel pressed against varies places on your body. His wavy thick hair was pulled back in a ponytail that ended just below his neckline. He really was a work of art, but it was more than that, he took my breath away.

  “Cat, why are you looking at me like that? Where is your head today? I have been calling your name since you left the beach.” Darien sounded concerned; I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t missed that tone in his voice; the tone that let me know that he still cared. When he was mad at me I didn't get that tone as often. I knew he cared for me and he would never stop, but I had hurt him so much that he was still afraid to let me know that he cared.

  “I don’t know, I think it is the heat but I am OK. What’s up?” There was no reason to torture him by telling him that Akia had been walking through my thoughts.

  As soon as I thought Akia’s name, I quickly glanced down to make sure the ring was still on my finger. Dr. Walker had given the ring to me to keep Akia out of my mind. The ring was made of metals that were bonded with a mix of chemicals that prevented mind invasion. Sometimes it is all I can do not to take it off my finger. Not for long of course, I don’t think I could stand long, but just for a second, just long enough to let him know that I was not dead. Maybe just to feel a little of what I used to feel every time I was in the same room with him, a chance to remember the way my body felt, when tiny pulses of electricity went through it everywhere he touched me. A chance to remember the places in my body that his presence filled, places that I hadn’t even known were empty. I wanted the chance to remember that the only time I ever felt truly alive in my life was when he held my face in his hands and kissed me like I was his air. Then again, reliving these moments would only make it worse when the ring went back on and I had to lose him all over again.

  For the rest of my life the ring would be a fixture on my pointer finger, a lifeline that was created to keep me and the rest of the family safe. If Akia knew I was alive, he would look for me and that was the last thing I wanted; OK maybe secretly it was the first thing I wanted, but it was surely the last thing I needed.

  “Did you forget about our date tonight beautiful?” there was that smile again, the one that could make your breath catch in your throat. Damn I missed it. I never really had taken the time to cherish much about Darien before, because I thought he would always be there, but for a while Darien had been in a dark place too, trapped in the place where my selfishness had forced him. I promised myself then and there that I was going to do whatever it took to make sure that I would never imprison Darien in darkness again.

  “I could never forget about a night with you, the most handsome man on the planet.” Flirting with him felt good; it was comfortable and it was normal, I need more normal and so much less drama.

  I had missed our little sleepovers. Stupid movies, more food than two people should ever consume and the alcohol flowing. This would be the first sleepover that would be just me and him since before my decisions had killed everyone. I hated to admit it but I was a little scared. Not scared to be alone with him, just nervous because we hadn't been alone in forever. We still had our nights together, but Jaden and Walker had been running interference, afraid to leave us alone I suppose. For a while I didn't blame them, hell, for a while I was glad to have one or the other there with us.

  I used them as a guardrail in a way. If I felt like I was getting close to pushing Darien or he was getting close to pushing me, then I would just pull them to the front of the conversation. Simple war tactics really, but they worked every time, not that I believed for a second that Darien hadn’t caught on. As soon as I thought that we were OK, I tried to pretend like I didn’t notice that Walker and Jaden were still there every time Darien and I were together. Eventually though, enough got to be enough and I told them that Darien and I were adults and that there was no reason that we needed a babysitter every time we were alone together. I could tell that neither of them was pleased with my demand, but after Darien and I both promised not to kill each other, Walker and Jaden agreed to let things get back to normal. Not that I wasn't expecting at least three phone calls from each of them tonight. But phones could be ignored and people could be hung up on, if things got to be too ridiculous.

  “I have a surprise for you.” Darien was beaming; it was good to see the old young Darien surface now and then; the little boy that could so easily cheer me up when I was hell bent on being upset. I loved and hated him because of it.

  “You know that I am not too keen on surprises, right?” I asked him, unable to curtail my smile.

  “Yes I know, that is why I keep doing these things, I have to keep you on your toes, a bored Cat gets herself into trouble.” I would have argued with him but he was right. Besides that, he looked so pleased with himself, pleased that I was actually starting to like his surprises. He was pleased that I liked not knowing what was coming. “Come on, I promise you will like this.” With that he grabbed my hand and he pulled me with him. Soon I got caught up in his excitement and I let him pull me into a jog.

  It was nice to be with someone whose personality was upbeat and contagious. It wasn't very often that I felt happy on my own accord but I could ride his coattails easily and lovingly absorb his pleasure as my own.

  Chapter Three

  “I am not sure where you are taking me, but this is pretty far off the beaten path isn't it?” I wasn't scared. I knew that he would never let anything happen to me. “Darien, what in the world were you doing this far back in the woods to begin with?” I was trying really hard not to lecture him, but this far from home, things could get really dangerous, really fast.

  “You know something? You ask too many questions.” That was his polite way of telling me to shut up and enjoy the scenery.

  The birds were chirping and it was nice to be off the pavement. The shade of the leafy trees made it about ten degrees cooler and when you are in the triple digits that ten degrees meant a lot. I was almost too lost in the moment to notice that he had stopped moving. I couldn't make my feet stop in time and I bumped right into him, making him chuckle. He didn’t even move when I hit him. I had forgotten just how much of an unmovable lump of man he could be.

  “I found this place about a week ago and I have been setting it up since then.”

  At first I wasn't sure what I was looking at. It seemed to be some sort of obstacle course maybe. There were walls and barriers, even what looked to be a few trenches.

  “Is this a Dominus training course? Why on earth were you messing around here? You are going to get yourself killed. You know better than that.” He chuckled again at me, clearly pleased that I wasn't getting it.

  “Look at the sign!” I let my gaze follow his finger. “Dark Towers Paintball” was painted in what was probably a bright red paint at one time. Now it was just a faded shadow, a reminder of just how much everything that once was important had been left to decay and crumble.

  “Paintball, like human sports?” I couldn't keep the pleasure out of my voice. Darien knew that I was big on anything that used to be normal. It was my silly way of trying to experience something that I never had, if that makes any sense.

  “Don't get your hopes up too much. The place has been ransacked and all the guns are gone but I figured out something better.” There was that smile. I could have looked at him all day.

  “This is amazing Darien; I can't believe it is still standing. Honestly I think a Dominus or two with a sick sense of humor is the reason i
t is still here.” My hand was back in his and he was pulling me past one wall after the next.

  Most were splattered with different colored paints. Some displayed old advertisements for things and places that were once the center of people’s lives but now were nothing, and then we arrived at the wall that I knew he wanted me to see.

  It was a wall with witches and zombies and Bigfoot and other mystical creatures drawn on it. The picture in the center was a Vampire, a Dracula looking one. Scribbled across it were the words “Stupid humans, we are much better looking”. I wasn't sure if it was OK to laugh at the irony or not. After a little debate with myself I figured sure, why not laugh? After all, I wasn't one of the people that used to write about these creatures, turning them into jokes, so it really wasn’t a personal attack on me. I hated to admit it, but the Vampire that scribbled on that wall had a point. I will never fully understand how people failed to see the warnings behind so much Vampire fiction. Had they really thought it was all made up?

  “Well here is what I think.” Darien bent down and picked up a rock. With the rock he simply wrote “Once a monster always a monster”. I don't know why but that about summed it up. He threw the rock down. Watching it distracted me and when I looked back up Darien had disappeared. I didn't know if I was supposed to follow him or stand there and wait. I waited for about ten seconds and then my patience issues caused me to start looking for him.

  “Darien, where did you go?” I walked around one wall and then another, but instead of seeing him I got pegged in the shoulder with something squishy that exploded on impact. As soon as it hit me, water was everywhere. I was shocked for a second, but then my instincts kicked in and I ducked back behind the wall opposite the direction of fire and started looking around. I found what I needed. Grabbing three balloons, I stepped off in the other direction. I saw Darien peek around the wall I was hiding behind a minute ago. It was so easy to sneak up on him. I don't believe in shooting a man in the back; for one, where was the fun in that, and for two, I just love to watch their faces!