Remember Me

by D. E. White

  ‘Huw did. He didn’t hit her or anything… Okay, a little bit maybe. Penny was going to go along with it because she was so bloody scared that Paul might have been involved. He and Ellen didn’t get along so well, did they? So, what are you going to do now you know? I don’t want you to get hurt, Ava.’

  ‘Huw hit your friend and you let him? And why would I get hurt? Is that a threat?’ She scowled at him.

  ‘No, don’t be stupid. That’s one of the reasons I never told you. That and guilt. I should have looked out for Ellen too. She was killed metres from where we were, and I never heard a thing, and never did a thing to help her. So yes, guilt is a massive part of staying silent.’

  ‘And it must have now occurred to you that whoever did kill Ellen, is now trying to get at me? The fact that you say her knickers were missing suggests another trophy. I hope they appear next, because I will take them straight to the police. Whoever is trying to get at me, whoever left these trophies…. Trying to threaten me with Ellen’s things does not suggest fear, remorse or anything else of that nature. It suggests gloating and bullying.’

  They sat in silence for a moment, before Leo’s phone rang again. He glanced doubtfully at her, and answered. Only a short conversation, but he hung up looking slightly pale.

  ‘Was that about the missing girls?’ Ava had caught the gist. With this new information, the fact that there were also girls missing in the area did not add up to anything good. She was trying to push away images of Ellen struggling on the ground, screaming for help, maybe, and herself under a bloody tree. Who was she really angry at – herself or Leo?

  ‘Yes. They haven’t found them yet. But, hell, I mean look at this map…’ He stood, clearly glad at the chance to dodge the subject of Ellen, and pointed at a large scale map of Big Water and the surrounding hills. ‘This area in red, that’s where we always run Tough Love. The camps are these blue triangles. Seven camps, for seven days of the competition. The show airs once a week, so that’s seven weeks of entertainment, plus the voting, which is the day after the actual show.’

  Ava looked, noting the vast hills, and the wooded valley between, criss-crossed with camps. She quickly calculated the scale. It was a big old area to get around. ‘I suppose you have a rescue team, in case anyone gets into trouble?’

  ‘Of course. One of the contestants had a fall on the hill the day after we started, and the medics were there within half an hour. She said that she thought Bethan or Cerys pushed her actually, but there is always a lot of catfighting between the girls, so we didn’t really take too much notice. It works well when we do the edits, you get your most hated contestants trending on social media and you’re made. We have cameras all over the place, and the drone team take shots from the air, obviously. But as you so rightly pointed out, it is a big area, and there are places we can’t get to.’

  ‘So would it be possible to make it out of the red hatched zone, and leave the film set area completely?’

  ‘No. The rules are strict. If you leave the area, you are automatically disqualified. Plus, we have a temporary boundary fence that surrounds the entire place, with wire that triggers an alarm if anyone tries to get out. This is as safe as it can be, Ava, given the nature of the show.’

  ‘Are you worried about Bethan and the others?’

  He met her gaze. ‘I would say no, but after what you’ve told me, I’m going to be honest and say yes, I am. I can’t see how it could possibly be connected with what’s been happening to you, but something is going on. If you’re affected, who’s to say they might not take me down as well?’

  ‘Depends who really killed Ellen, doesn’t it? If you do know, and it wasn’t Jesse, you must tell me, Leo.’

  ‘I… Look, Ava, it’s true, I don’t know.’ He met her eyes reluctantly. ‘Huw said it was Jesse.’

  ‘And Huw is always right?’ She sighed, but in her mind Ellen’s bright gaze sharpened into Bethan’s, and both girls lay still on the ground. Another time, another girl missing. Fear stabbed needles into her stomach, and something like panic rose in her throat, but the words came out calmly enough. ‘You need to find these girls, Leo. Get your team in for a briefing and tell them there may be trouble. I need to speak to Huw again.’

  ‘I will get them in, yes, but they are already looking, and I’m not going to tell them anything else. If I do, something will get out to the media, and it will get blown out of all proportion. I could lose everything.’

  ‘And if someone is playing nasty games, you could lose a life,’ Ava snapped. ‘You might even need police backup, and I’m not just talking about Ellen and my own experience. I assume the nearest is still Mythran Fields?’

  ‘No, it’s Cadrington now… Do you really think it might come to that?’

  ‘I do. I’ll have to tell the police about Ellen now, too. But you must have known that when you told me she had been murdered.’

  He nodded slowly, eyes fixed on her face, saying nothing. Had he also unknowingly been waiting for this moment?

  ‘Are you ready for this, Leo? The press will have an absolute feast over your involvement, in fact over all of us. And then there’s the kids… Our families. Fuck, my parents only just about forgave me for running away without Stephen when they saw what state I was in. Now we’re all adults, and there is so much to lose.’

  ‘Unless we run with the accident story?’ Leo ran a slightly unsteady hand through his hair, and then glanced at his watch.

  ‘Don’t be so bloody stupid, Leo. You’ve just told me Ellen was murdered. This is huge, and we screwed up.’ Ava snagged another cigarette. To hell with her health.

  ‘Are you ready to lose your job?’ he needled back. ‘And if the police reopen Ellen’s case, how ready are you to see one of your childhood friends go to jail? What if it was Paul, and I’m not saying it was, but what will Penny and Stephen say if he is convicted of Ellen’s death? They’ll never forgive you, especially the way things are now.’

  She swung away from him, restless now, the adrenalin pumping through her veins, demanding action. Fifteen years too late. ‘Did it not occur to any of you fuckwits that it might not be one of us who killed Ellen? In the panic and the scrabbling to avoid blame, did it really never cross anyone’s mind that if she wandered off alone, she could have met anybody?’

  He scowled, anger flitting across his face, eyes darkening, the way they always did when he got mad about something, ‘No. I can honestly say it never came up. Come on, Ava, this is Aberdyth. Who would be just “wandering around” in the woods, hoping on the off chance to find a girl? The nearest road doesn’t lead to anywhere but the farms.’ But she could see he was jolted.

  ‘Okay, fair enough, but it could have been planned. Lots of people knew we spent a lot of time in the woods. By keeping quiet we might have let some sexual predator go on to offend again.’

  Leo moved suddenly, holding her elbows, pulling her closer. His eyes were glittering, and the bones in his face sharply accentuated. He always looked sexy when he was angry, and she knew on the original show that made him famous he had been known as a hothead, a playboy picking fights over the girls. But it seemed that was what people wanted. ‘If you think you need to do this, go ahead, but don’t blame me if after this, people really are out to hurt you.’

  Ava pulled away, still facing him, eyes locked, annoyed to find she was slightly breathless. ‘Thanks for the warning, but I can take care of myself.’

  * * *

  Outside, Huw was talking to some of the crew, and Leo, avoiding his eyes, quickly found some rough footage of Bethan for him to watch back. Ava watched them both, biding her time, pretending to drink her disgusting coffee. This changed everything, and the nausea was rising, her stomach twisting at the horror. One of them had not only killed Ellen, whether deliberately or not, but also sexually assaulted her. It was devastating that she hadn’t known at the time. Frustration made her long for the gym and her punch bag, to sweat off what might have been, and what was to come.

 
Either she went with the theory that there was someone else in the woods that night, maybe hidden, watching them, and maybe not for the first time… or she accepted that one of her friends was a murderer. There was no way around it. Logically, given their history, it was probable that whoever did it had, as Leo put it, simply gone too far. Ellen had been an expert wind-up merchant, and emotions could run high when drink and drugs were involved. But murder… She struggled to get her head around it. And now she needed to tear her life apart again, to tell everyone how they had betrayed Ellen, ruthlessly disposing of her body, keeping a hideous secret all these years. She hoped Leo had a good PR team.

  ‘See my girl, Ava? She’s going to be a star,’ Huw told her, jabbing a dirty finger at the screen, bringing her back to the present. ‘Told her she didn’t need any of that plastic surgery nonsense. She’s got the whole package and it’s natural. Not like some of these girls, they look like bloody blow-up dolls!’ He gave a harsh bark of laughter.

  Ava rubbed her eyes, trying to ignore the headache that was throbbing into life at the base of her neck. Bethan was certainly far more animated on film than she had been in the kitchen with Stephen, or even in the pub. She was wearing a lot of make-up, and had tied her long dark hair back with a red bandana. Underneath the Tough Love polo shirt, she wore a tight red bra top, and the shirt was unbuttoned to show more than a hint of cleavage. Despite the weather, tiny denim shorts, thick socks and chunky hiking boots completed the picture.

  As Leo flicked through the footage, and Huw made more ‘proud dad’ comments, Ava watched the girl’s interaction with her fellow contestants. She wasn’t popular, picking fights, flirting with the other boys, whilst still being overtly physical with Stephen. Stephen didn’t feature in many of her scenes. Again, this seemed totally out of character from what she had seen of the girl.

  Her son was in the background, seemingly relaxed, laughing with the other male contestants, ignoring his girlfriend’s behaviour to a certain extent. Bethan was pretty much unrecognisable, so different was her behaviour to that of the pert, quiet girl Ava had met in Penny’s kitchen.

  Stephen looked so much like his dad, with those cheekbones and the blue eyes. When he smiled, that sparkle lit up his face, and the dimple showed on his chin. A wave of emotion hit her smack in the breast, and she turned away. Her son. Despite her fucked-up attempt at motherhood, he had turned out good. She supposed she should thank Penny and Paul for that. But they had both betrayed her, had both known the truth about Ellen. Huw was still watching the film footage, and members of the crew were milling around. She made a quick decision.

  ‘Leo, I need to go back now. Can I borrow a vehicle?’

  He gave her a quick, unreadable look. ‘Sure, take my truck. Just leave it outside the Birtleys’ and put the keys under the wheel. I’ll get a lift back with Huw. Ava?’ There was relief on his face, but he couldn’t possibly know she had a cosy chat with Huw planned for tonight, and if his family were at home, so much the better.

  She caught the keys and turned to leave. ‘What?’

  ‘Take care.’ His face was serious, but Huw, who had also looked up, was scowling again.

  ‘Nice to see you again, Huw.’ Ava smiled at him. ‘I’m sure we’ll catch up soon.’

  He nodded, no more than a rough jerk of his head, and turned back to the screens, staring fixedly at his daughter.

  Chapter 18

  I’ve left another gift for Ava Cole to find.

  She’s moving fast after a couple of double sixes. It is almost as if she has never been away, she is so much part of the hills, the village. I see her face everywhere.

  The girl is locked away, and I’ve finished my work with her. She is temporarily stuck on her square of the board, and she will only move forward in the game if Ava manages to find her. We loved games as kids, and the games got wilder as we got older. I see no reason to stop playing, as an adult.

  The drugs were a good way to push people into losing their inhibitions. I learned this from a master, and of course from personal experience.

  The night Ellen died, I was there, watching, enjoying the fun. Funny that I wasn’t actually instrumental in her killing, although as I supplied the drugs for the party, I suppose you could say I helped to escalate the proceedings, and the confusion. I’d been saying for a while that it turned me on to watch that kind of stuff on the internet, even showed a couple of the friends my favourites. I wanted them to wonder about me, and I wanted to see how much power I really had.

  It was good that Ellen was gone. If she hadn’t died that night, I’d probably have found another way to get rid of her. She was too close to Ava and she was in the way. Luckily my girl made her own decisions.

  The filming has delivered a golden opportunity and provides a perfect backdrop for my own game. There are so many people coming and going, not to mention the press occasionally hanging around, that nobody notices if I disappear for an hour or so.

  In a case under the spare room bed is a loose floorboard, and in a classic adventure story cliché this is where I hide my trophies. Now, I jemmy the board, lifting out my trinkets, surveying them with appreciation and a certain amount of pride. There are two missing, of course – the gifts I left for Ava – but I have plenty more. My mind drifts for a moment to another stash, more trophies, but I push that one away. That suitcase is not for me to bring out. Not yet anyway.

  Everything is ruthlessly planned, and timed. I enjoyed last night. I relished the moment when blood spurted into the cold air, steaming as it hit the icy grass, and I felt a thrill deep in my bones when I outwitted the film crew, the blundering security team, and the silly alarms on their boundary fence. I’m tired now, so I grab a handful of medication to get me through the day. My bedroom window is vast and square. I can look out onto my sugar-coated kingdom and know that I have achieved all I needed to. If it wasn’t for the restlessness that lies beneath, the stirring in my blood that creates such a craving, I think I would be at peace with the past. But I am a gamer, and peace is never an option. My calling is to keep on playing. I am special. I was always told that, and whereas before I knew it was lies and pain, now I know it to be true. Everyone knows it, and I feel truly famous. A silly tune from childhood rolls around in my head:

  ‘Os ewch i lawr i Llyn Fawr heddiw, Ava Cole, fe welwch chi syndod mawr…’

  ‘If you go down to Big Water today, Ava Cole, you’ll find a big surprise…’

  Chapter 19

  Ava rolled over, rubbing sleep from her eyes, groaning as the sun hit her face. She needed to get out for a run, clear her head after that cheap wine. What a stupid thing to do. Her gaze landed on the door, noting that the chest of drawers was still pushed up against it, wedging it shut. The window was still locked with a double length of twisted wire.

  Fine, it was all still fine. Hopefully those ridiculous girls would turn up today, if they hadn’t already. As for Ellen… Ava was still struggling to rearrange her memories. Ellen hadn’t died in an accident, she had been murdered. It changed everything, and Ava’s past was shattered once again, reforming slowly, in jagged puzzle pieces. Her overwhelming emotion was frustration. If only she had known, if only she had gone to the police at the time…

  But she hadn’t, she had gone along with their story, had missed signs of bruising on Ellen’s neck, which Leo claimed were definitely there. She had missed, in her grief and confusion, any signs that her friend had been assaulted. Or had she? If she had looked deeper, taken a moment to think, could she have prodded the others into confessing a crime had been committed? Her therapist had told her that sometimes people rearranged the past to suit themselves, to prevent pain, to remove blame… Had she truly known on some level that Ellen’s death was not an accident?

  The thought was like a blow to the head. She could have helped catch Ellen’s murderer, instead she had likely helped them get away with it. Cold cases were unpredictable at the best of times, but now she meant to help in every way she could on this one. Perhaps this w
as why she had been brought back? Even if she lost the job she loved, and she desperately hoped it wouldn’t come to that, maybe this was the price she had to pay.

  Ava thought of Penny’s slightly panicked message on her phone yesterday evening when she got back from the Tough Love filming. She had said that Paul was rude and aggressive to Alex when he visited, and had finally thrown him off the farm, and told him to stop sticking his nose in where it didn’t belong. As he was staying at the B&B, Penny wanted Ava to talk to him, to smooth things over, and reiterate how ill Paul was.

  But she hadn’t seen Alex last night. After everything Leo had told her, she didn’t want to speak to anyone until she’d contacted the police. So she had grabbed a quick bite to eat at the pub before retreating to her room with a bottle of wine. A preliminary call to the police at Cadrington had resulted in a desk sergeant taking details of the photographs and promising someone would be over for a talk. She hadn’t been sure about ringing the local police station, but she needed to make initial contact that night before her courage failed her, and it was hardly a 999 call. Once she had reported the pictures, she would try to locate that PC who had worked on Ellen’s case – now apparently DI Sophie Miles. The Smiths had mentioned she had been very interested in Jesse’s death too.

  She had to talk to Alex today – mainly to try to discover if he had uncovered anything else, but also to apologise. Oh, fuck, and she needed to call her mom, her boss, and see Ellen’s parents. That was going to be horrific, but she couldn’t wait for them to hear the news from the police. Last night, she had already prepared a preliminary report for whoever took charge of Ellen’s case, detailing everything she could remember. She spared nobody, including herself, and it was a raw, stripped-to-the-bones honest account of what happened, finishing with various possible theories as to the perp’s identity.

  Ava swung her legs out of bed, grabbing her phone as it buzzed with a message. Seeing it was in Welsh, she froze, once again summoning her childhood language with difficulty;