Remember Me

by D. E. White

  There were a few relevant entries, and she flicked open a new note on her iPad, noting dates. Andrew Menzies had moved away from Aberdyth six years ago, when the school closed. He had moved to Glamorgan, taking on another headship, and successful turning around a ‘special measures’ school. The last entry was from a local paper, announcing his retirement, praising his dedication to education.

  Well, he was unlikely to have nipped back to Aberdyth to kidnap a couple of girls. But what had Alex seen that she didn’t? Or was he really just ticking off background names from Ellen’s childhood?

  Sara Blackmore was more promising. She was active on social media, and many of her postings were dark musings about life and death. Ava studied her Facebook profile, where she listed herself as a writer, previously librarian. No partner, no children, no pets. Her location was listed as simply ‘Wales’.

  Her messages pinged, and she tapped the icon. Jack sent an email updating her on the photographs. When they resized them they could see a blurred image in the mirror on the wardrobe door;

  ‘… You wouldn’t be able to see it without magnification, and it’s impossible to tell what sex, or any details, but medium height, medium build with hat or hood pulled down over their hair. Probably describes half of Wales. I’ve got a bit of time off over the next couple of days, so I’ll keep digging.’

  Ava went back to Miss Blackmore, cutting through swathes of information, before she scored a hit. Sara Blackmore lived on a farm in Machnagden, which was a hamlet about ten miles away. There was nothing to suggest any links to either Ellen, or Bethan and Cerys. Ava sighed, glanced at her watch, and realised she needed to get a move on.

  Struggling through the snow on the way to Paul’s farmhouse, Ava wished she’d thought to bring the truck. But part of her relished the fight, the swirl of icy elements dancing all around, half-blinding her, stinging her face. It gave her a chance to think, before she spoke to Penny.

  ‘Ava! You’ll never guess what happened…’ Penny was speaking even before Ava crossed the threshold. ‘The police came round after I spoke to you, and started asking us all about Ellen. Paul is furious all over again. When they left he went mad.’ Penny pulled a face. ‘I drove him over to the respite centre for a few hours, and he seemed a bit calmer when I left, but I’m honestly terrified by all this. First a murder, then girls missing. What the hell is going on?’

  ‘Oh, Pen, I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to warn you,’ Ava lied quickly, ‘but I had to tell the police everything, what with Bethan and Cerys missing. I did explain to them about Paul and his situation, but what else could I do?’

  Penny was stirring a pot on the stove, licking the spoon and adding various herbs. She had her back to Ava as she spoke. ‘You could have told me you were going to confess about Ellen! At least I could have been prepared, warned everyone that it was coming…’

  ‘There wasn’t time! Surely you can all see that getting those girls home safe is the only thing that matters.’

  ‘I would have just liked to know, that’s all. This is such a big thing, and I don’t know what Stephen will make of it, especially with Paul the way he is at the moment. It just seems like everything is crashing down around us, and now this.’ She flicked a bright glance at Ava, who watched her in silence. Penny reached in her apron pocket for a tissue and blew her nose loudly, wiping her eyes. ‘It’s just the shock, isn’t it? Nearly ready. Paul isn’t eating much at the moment, so I’ll do him a bit of toast when I bring him home. You must be furious I never told you the truth about Ellen.’

  It was said casually, but the tissue was still out, and Penny’s pretty face was pale and drawn with worry. Ava shrugged. ‘Hurt that you felt you couldn’t trust me, more than anything. What did the boys threaten you with?’

  Her lashes came down, hooding her eyes. ‘How do you know about that?’

  ‘Leo told me everything. Once he told me Ellen was murdered, he had to tell me why you lied to me.’ Ava tore off a piece of garlic bread and popped it in her mouth, waiting.

  But Penny didn’t take the bait. ‘It was terrible when the police started talking. To find that they knew everything – I thought Paul was going to have a heart attack or something. I mean, I wanted so much to tell you that night, to tell you afterwards, but I was too scared. The longer it went on, the harder it became, and then of course you got pregnant, and there was never a good moment to say anything. I am truly sorry about that, Ava.’

  ‘It’s okay, Pen, it really is. I understand. The boys can be very persuasive, and I’m sure you were terrified. I know how it is. When I ran away, after I began to feel better, to make some kind of life, I wanted desperately to call you, to try to explain…’ She smiled at the other woman. Too many lies, too many years gone past, and now this, this ripping of lives. Ava reminded herself that she had been pushed into confessing to the police. It wasn’t just the cryptic messages, the trophies taken from Ellen’s body, or Leo’s devastating body blow about the murder, it was Alex’s murder, and the two missing girls. Who was doing this?

  Penny was talking again, her voice warming into naturalness. ‘I mean you of all people, you know how hard it was putting everything behind us. I just couldn’t stop thinking about Ellen after they went. You know those silly little habits she had, how she laughed like a man, and when she dyed her hair. I wish so much it had never happened, but ,Ava, you know I agree with you. I would have had it out in the open years ago. I did mention it to Paul and Leo once…’ Her bright gaze faltered, and she busied herself with checking crisp baked potatoes that were on a steaming tray on top of the cooker.

  Ava poured herself and Penny a glass of wine. ‘What did Paul and Leo say?’

  ‘Paul got very angry, and Leo was just laughing at me. He said I always was a goody-two-shoes. Isn’t that a vile thing to say? I pointed out he had more to lose than any of us, and that shut him up.’ She smiled with satisfaction at this minor remembered victory, and Ava raised her glass in a toast. ‘Paul went on about it for days afterwards though. I never brought it up again. I pushed it to the back of my mind. It was always so busy round here, with my baking business taking off, Stephen to look after, and doing the accounts for the farm…’

  ‘That smells great. Thanks so much for cooking, especially after such a shit day.’ Ava took the proffered plate, and added a slab of golden butter, watching it ooze across the potato. ‘Have you got any salt?’

  ‘Here. I still think I should have done more, when Ellen was killed, and again I’m so sorry I never told you, but Paul and the others were so… Well, we were kids weren’t we, and I was terrified by what I’d seen, scared that it might happen to me. We’ve known them all our lives, to think they were capable of that was enough to make me go along with what they said. And after, well, I think I started to believe it really was just a horrible mistake. A one-off. But now this as well. I’m scared, Ava, I really am. Someone has taken our girls, haven’t they?’ Penny took a slug of wine, and her fingernails scraped the glass as she set it down unsteadily on the countertop. Her eyes, usually so carefully made up, were red rimmed, and the bright lights of the kitchen picked out worry lines scratched around her eyes.

  ‘I know. Pen, I hate to ask, but I’m sure you can see that it might help with the enquiry, and the police will ask you this, if they haven’t already…’

  Penny said nothing, but her shoulders drooped as she leant against the counter.

  ‘Have you had any more thoughts on who actually murdered Ellen? Anything, even if it’s just a fragment of memory, would help. I’ve tried so hard, but all I can see is her on the ground. I hear voices, and they are angry, scared, but I can’t pick out an individual.’ Ava shovelled a massive mouthful of beef stew and baked potato into her mouth and waited. God, she was hungry.

  Penny sat down on the other stool, starting to slice her own carrots into neat segments, frowning as she did so. ‘I’ve thought and thought, but we’d taken those pills, and the vodka, and all I can remember is the darkness. I was
kissing Paul, and after that everyone was laughing by the fire. The fire went out, and Ellen was there. She was laughing too, and she did her dare…’ Penny took another gulp of wine. Her hands were shaking, food abandoned.

  ‘There was music, and it was so dark, and the fire made shadows across the tree trunks… Paul was winding me up about something. I don’t remember seeing Jesse or Rhodri, but Leo was next to the fire for a while. Then suddenly Jesse was yelling, and Rhodri was carrying Ellen out of the darkness. Her hand was hanging down. I was pulling someone to come and help, Paul I think, and shouting at him. Her clothes were all torn, and her skirt pushed up the way Rhodri held her, so I could see she had no knickers on. It was awful!’ Penny gave a sob, putting down her cutlery and draining her wine glass. ‘It still gets me, even after all this time. I tried to shove the boys out the way, but someone else, I think it might have been Leo, pushed me so hard I fell down against a tree. I must have hit my head because I had a massive lump on the back when I got home that night. I think I blacked out.’

  ‘Leo pushed you?’ Ava tried to slot this in with Leo’s version of events and failed.

  ‘I think it must have been him, because I remember the smell of his aftershave. You know that strong peppery one he used to pinch from his older brother?’

  Ava did know. But that meant if Penny was telling the truth, Leo and Paul never left the circle around the fire, and it put them in the clear. Or were they all still covering for each other?

  ‘Pen, did you notice when Ellen left the group? Was she gone a long time?’

  ‘I don’t know. I suppose it could have been anything up to an hour really…’

  ‘Was Leo there all the time? I mean, did he wander off with Ellen at all?’

  Penny put a hand on Ava’s arm, her mouth twisting, tears trickling like raindrops down her pink cheeks, ‘I don’t know. You were the only one who wasn’t part of it, because you were out of it. Everyone else was down in the hollow round the fire, with the music and the bottles.’

  ‘It’s okay. So it could have been Leo?’

  She shrugged, ‘It could have been any of them. It could even have been Paul, if my memory is wrong! That was another reason I was so scared.’

  ‘If you had to guess?’

  ‘Oh God, Ava, I honestly don’t know. Of course, I don’t really think it was Paul or I wouldn’t have married him. Jesse had no reason to… to assault Ellen, did he? I mean, he was her boyfriend – but they did row that evening. I don’t like Huw, and I never have done, but only because he was an arrogant asshole at school, and he hasn’t really changed much. That doesn’t make him a killer. I thought afterwards that perhaps… perhaps it wasn’t one of us. That maybe Ellen met someone else in the woods that night. But it made me feel sick to think we might have covered up for a stranger, so I pushed it away.’

  ‘Do you remember the mobile library that used to come to Aberdyth?’

  ‘What does that have to do with Ellen’s murder? I… Oh yes, I do. The woman that drove it was a right bitch, wasn’t she? Sara something.’

  ‘Blackmore. Sara Blackmore.’

  ‘That’s right. Why?’

  ‘No reason really, just thinking of people we might have known who, by that token, might have harmed Ellen.’

  ‘Not the librarian! She was a woman.’ Penny’s eyes were wide, and shocked.

  Ava shrugged, not pointing out the obvious – that women could be perps, be sexual predators, as well as men.

  ‘There were always a lot of visitors to the Birtleys that time of year, and to the caravan site. Do you really think it might be someone else who killed Ellen?’ Relief and hope coloured her voice.

  ‘I don’t know, but just now, for me, the only reason to look at Ellen’s case is to see if we can get any leads on Bethan and Cerys.’

  Penny’s phone rang, and she snatched it up, frowning. ‘Hallo?’ She listened for a while, and then spoke quickly. ‘No, I’ve got nothing to say at all.’

  Ava opened her mouth to speak, but Penny was tapping out another number, which clearly wasn’t answered. At last she turned back to face Ava. ‘That was the local paper wanting a comment, so I just wanted to check they hadn’t been on to Paul and upset him again. My business number is on my website,’ she added in response to Ava’s enquiring look.

  ‘Did they want you to comment on the cold case, or on Bethan and Cerys?’

  ‘He asked about Bethan because he’d heard my son was dating her,’ Penny said slowly.

  Ava made no comment, ignoring the ‘my son’, and moving on. ‘You need to get that business number diverted to an answering service for a while, maybe.’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Did you do the website yourself? I’ve looked at it a few times now, and the photographs look like a professional job.’

  Penny glowed with the praise. ‘Oh, no, I had help with the website from Paul. I’m no good at technical stuff and he’s clever with things like that. And Leo did the photographs for me. He has all the lighting, and expensive cameras, and he did a course at uni along with his media studies degree.’

  Ava noted this, but again moved the conversation along quickly. ‘So you can box this stuff fresh and send it anywhere in the world?’

  ‘Pretty much. I mean some of the goods are frozen and have to be couriered in special packaging, but the cakes are easy. I have customers in America, Australia, China. Lots of people who have moved away from Wales and want a taste of the real authentic food, or others who have relatives or ancestors from here – they all feel like there’s a link.’ Clearly pleased at Ava’s interest, and relieved at the change of subject, Penny was gabbling, slightly breathless. She topped up Ava’s wine again.

  ‘I think it’s amazing, Pen. You’re so clever!’ For a moment she was afraid she had gone over the top, but the other woman was smiling.

  ‘Well, so are you. I mean, you’re a detective!’

  Ava laughed. ‘So now we know how wonderful we both are, let’s finish that wine.’

  ‘Oh, I can’t have any more. I need to pick Paul up at ten.’

  Ava took a deep breath. They might as well clear the air completely. ‘Penny, Paul always loved you. Our stupid little fling was just that. He would never have married me if I hadn’t got pregnant. You know what his dad was like about having an heir to the farm. He was the most old-fashioned person and Paul always did what he said.’

  After a few minutes of awkward silence, Penny covered Ava’s hand with her own. ‘I know. He’s told me himself. He loves Stephen to bits, and he always has. He’s as proud of him as Huw is of Bethan. Oh God, Ava, I hope the police find that poor darling girl safe.’

  Ava winced. ‘I’m sure they are going to do everything they can.’

  Penny nodded, blowing her nose briefly before returning to their past. ‘But, Ava, lovely, we were all still trying to deal with what happened to Ellen, and with all the booze and pills, we were lucky nothing else went wrong. Stephen was, and is, a blessing, and I love him to bits. I’ve never wanted kids of my own, and Paul already had one of his own, so it was perfect. A weird way for everything to end up, but it has worked for all of us, hasn’t it?’

  Ava supposed it had. Right up until the point she exploded their secret.

  ‘I just need to grab a coat and then I’ll drop you back before I go and get Paul, shall I?’

  ‘Thanks, Pen.’

  The Land Rover made easy work of the snow-covered hill, grinding along in low ratio, as Penny competently swung the vehicle into the B&B driveway.

  They sat for a moment in the darkness, the headlights picking out the snowfall, monotonous and hypnotic.

  ‘Actually, Ava, there is one other thing I want to tell you.’

  ‘Sure.’

  ‘I didn’t tell the police, so this will be up to you if you want to pass it on, or maybe take a look yourself.’

  ‘Go on,’ Ava said softly.

  Penny rubbed her face like a child, as though trying to clear unwelcome memories. ‘Wh
en Leo was at uni, we went up a few times for a party weekend.’

  Ava waited, shivering in the passenger seat.

  ‘We all went out this one time, just like we normally did, but the boys were wild. They were taking more than usual, and it just turned out crazy.’

  ‘That’s it?’

  ‘Yes. It’s just… Leo pulled, and he was boasting about it to the others. He had photos on his phone, of other girls too. When I asked he just said it was another pissed student, who regretted giving it out. He said… he said that there were too many girls and mostly they were gagging for it.’

  ‘He said that?’

  ‘Yes, and the others laughed, then Paul sort of seemed to remember I was there, and he tried to pretend he didn’t agree with Leo.’

  ‘Thanks, Penny. That’s very interesting.’

  ‘See you tomorrow, lovely.’

  Back indoors, defrosting, Ava headed up to her room, flicked on her iPad and checked her emails. Lots from work, a couple from DI Sophie Miles, one with a file attached… It took a while to work through them all.

  Her phone rang as she was busy tapping out an answer to her boss.

  ‘Penny? Everything all right?’

  ‘Yes, I’m just on my way to the respite centre. Don’t worry, this is hands-free. I suppose because we’ve been bringing up the past, and you and the police were asking about Ellen… There was a bit more I didn’t tell you. About the weekend at uni…’

  ‘Go on.’

  There was the sound of a horn blaring, and Ava took the phone from her ear wincing. ‘Penny? Are you all right?’

  ‘Sorry, it was some idiot on the wrong side of the road. Probably one of Leo’s film crew – the car’s just turned up his driveway. Loonies. Anyway, I don’t want to get him in trouble if it isn’t him, but…’

  ‘Penny, get to the point. If you remember something important, you need to tell me.’