Remember Me

by D. E. White

  Sophie Miles was going to be, quite rightly, furious with her, and she hadn’t even gotten any useful information out of two stupid drunk men. She stood very still, listening. Somewhere to the west she could hear water. The river. Ava began to stumble towards it. Had Leo known where she meant? Would he even bother to come and get her? Perhaps he would call the police and get through to Sophie. She peered into the night, once or twice yelling, watching intently for the blue lights of Sophie’s team. Paul and Huw had tried to implicate Leo in Ellen’s death, but if they were all in it together, this could be part of the game.

  The river sounds were getting closer, and she tried to walk faster, but ended up falling. Her face was raw with cold, and her hands and feet completely numb. Slow and steady was best. She was shaking violently now, her teeth chattering so hard it actually hurt, jaw rigid, trying to absorb the spasms. Icy gusts of wind streamed down from the surrounding hills, notching up the arctic conditions.

  She tried to distract herself from the very really possibility of dying of hypothermia on the hills, by going over the case, piece by piece. As she considered Jesse, that blinding moment of clarity that had eluded her earlier sliced into her brain. Hadn’t Peter told her Jesse might have said he needed to ‘check with someone’ instead of ‘check something’? What if he had gone to, say it was Huw, and told him he wanted to come clean. Perhaps Huw had some evidence, or Jesse just wanted another person on side before he took the leap… It fit, and she made a note to call Peter as soon as she could. Assuming she didn’t freeze to death out on the hill tonight, and assuming Peter would actually talk to her. Sliding down a muddy gulley, and into another icy puddle, she suddenly saw headlights. The road! But it wasn’t the road. The truck was still sitting on the bank, lights shining across the grass and rock, back end wedged on the shingle.

  Energised at the possibility of warmth and shelter, she scrambled eagerly into the driver’s seat. The keys were still in there, but when she started the engine the vehicle gave a grinding noise, and died. The road must be somewhere just to the east. She could get out and walk, or she could sit in the relative shelter of the truck. But she couldn’t stay there all night…

  Pocketing the keys and zipping her fleece firmly around her throat she jumped out of the cab. Headlights pierced the darkness as another vehicle slowed to her right. Her first leap of relief that Leo had come, was dampened by the thought that Paul and Huw might have come back to make sure she stayed out all night.

  ‘Ava! Where the fuck are you?’

  It was Leo, and she ran, forcing numb, clumsy legs towards the road. ‘I’m here!’

  The car reversed a little, and swung around, so its headlights blinded her. A dark figure leapt down the bank towards her.

  ‘It’s all right, Ava, I’ve got you. Look, I’ve even got brandy in the car, just like a proper mountain rescue team.’ Leo helped her gently into the passenger seat. ‘Here, drink this from the bottle, I don’t mind. I’ve got a coat in the back, you can put that round you.’ He turned the engine back on, and the heating up to max, whilst she shivered.

  ‘What the hell happened?’

  She drank the brandy, gasping as it burned her throat. ‘Someone set Huw and Paul up to scare me. Whoever it is playing games…’

  ‘I see.’ He looked distant, face shuttered and cold. ‘Did they hurt you?’

  ‘No! I need to call the police. Oh God, and poor Penny. My bloody phone is dead. Can I use yours?’

  ‘Sure.’

  She quickly dialled Sophie’s number from memory and gave her a rundown of the evening’s events. Then she held the phone away from her ear and pulled a face as the full force of the inspector’s rage flowed over her. Leo was grinning.

  ‘I can’t believe I let you even think of coming up here by yourself. Not only that but I’ve wasted time and resources on a total non-event. My boss is going to bollock me at the briefing tomorrow. You’re bloody lucky to be alive. From this moment I need you to let me handle things, and stop putting yourself at risk. You are too involved and too vulnerable. Ring me later when you’ve warmed up, and tell me everything that was said. I’ll have someone waiting at Huw Davis’s house for when the fucker gets back from joyriding. We’ll bring him in and see what he has to say for himself.’

  Ava, still shaking violently in icy spasms, agreed, and rang Penny. Omitting the worst of their behaviour, she simply told her that Paul was fine, and she believed they were both on their way home. Penny was only half an hour out of Aberdyth, and wanted to see her, and although Ava felt a twinge of guilt she explained that she had got lost on the hills trying to follow the men, and was now suffering from a mild dose of hypothermia. ‘I just need a hot bath and some dry clothes before I even think about anything else.’

  ‘Okay. I would love to say come over here, but, well…’

  ‘I know. It’s fine, Pen, just get yourself home and text me when he gets back, okay?’

  ‘Ava, I don’t understand why they would do this… It’s like something they would have done as teenagers! If Paul isn’t careful he’ll miss his meds again, and you said he’d been drinking as well…’ Penny was close to tears again, and the frustration in her voice was clear.

  ‘I don’t know, Pen, but like I said, Paul didn’t seem bothered, and I’m sure they’ll creep back in and Paul will be really apologetic. And if you’re worried about anything, just call the police.’

  ‘On my own husband? You’ve lived in America for too long, Ava,’ Penny snapped suddenly.

  ‘I actually meant Huw really, and I was thinking of your safety, Pen. I don’t give a damn about Huw.’ Or Paul, she added silently.

  ‘I’m sorry, lovely, so sorry. It’s just been a horrible day, that’s all. I’ll let you know when he gets back.’

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘And Ava? You don’t have to be afraid of Paul, you know. He would never hurt you.’

  ‘After tonight, Pen, I might hurt him though, so let’s just leave it at that, shall we?’

  ‘Okay.’ She sounded sulky and there was the sound of a car hooting before she killed the call.

  Leo leaned over and removed his phone from her shaking fingers. ‘Right, that’s everyone’s lives sorted out. Now, Detective, come and get warm before you die of hypothermia.’

  She managed a weak grin, despite the fact she felt a lump in her throat and her eyes filled with tears. It must be the cold, she told herself firmly. Another surge of panic gripped her chest, as she thought of Bethan, naked in her cave. If they didn’t find her soon she would surely be dead, if the cold hadn’t already killed her. ‘Leo, the perp sent some photos of Bethan. She’s in a cave. They’re the same sort of photographs, same website, as the ones of me were on.’ Her words seemed to be coming out wrong, slurred, and garbled like she had been drinking herself.

  ‘She’s underground?’ Leo’s voice was hard. ‘Ava, babe, this is one sick bastard,’ he added. ‘Right, I haven’t got a tow rope, so I’ll come back tomorrow for the Birtleys’ truck. Fucking idiots, they could have killed you.’

  ‘Doubt it. They were pissed, and pathetic, not murderous. They told me you probably k… k… killed E… Ellen, by the way.’ Her teeth were still chattering, body aching with the force of her shivering.

  ‘Do you believe them?’

  ‘No, as it happens I don’t. But I do think you know something else about Ellen’s death. You need to share that.’

  He shrugged. ‘It isn’t anything important. The poor girl is dead, and we covered it up. All this stuff that’s going on… I think it might be Huw. I know what I said earlier, but you just told me he tried to drop me in it. That’s not part of the pact. He’s been going off the rails for years, pushing his wife around, pushing his girlfriend around. You’re right, the way he idolises Bethan – it’s not normal. I actually offered her a part in the show because Stephen told me she’s desperate to get out of Aberdyth. She thinks she might be able to do what I did and build a career out of a reality show. I reckon she also se
es it as a way of escaping Huw’s stranglehold. Don’t look like that – he isn’t doing anything to her or I’d have called the police myself. He’s just obsessed. It must be suffocating for Bethan.’

  ‘And now she has got away.’

  ‘Yes.’ His voice was flat, and his hand gentle on her shoulder. ‘Ava, why don’t you stay with me tonight?’

  Chapter 29

  I was eight when it started. My uncle had moved in with us, my dad had moved out. Mum had already started her enthusiastic scramble into alcoholism. She embarked on her wine-drenched journey with relief, almost as soon as Dad’s car pulled away from the house. Anyway, she never gave a shit about me, and when Uncle Alf started taking me ‘out to play’ she barely looked up from her bottle.

  It took a few months, and as I grew older, wiser, I recognised that it was that classic cliché of grooming.

  He bought me new clothes – he bought me the princess dresses I craved, and gave me the brightly coloured sweets. He sat me on his knee to watch movies. Later he would show me his photography studio that he’d rigged up out the back, converting one of the run-down, rusty sheds behind the bungalow into a state-of-the-art facility.

  I did what I was told under the bright lights, trying not to blink at the flash of the camera. I knew it was wrong – the way he looked at me, even before he started asking me to ‘model’. The vague sense of unease, the sick feeling in my stomach when he touched me became full-blown terror when he started making me undress for his ‘films’.

  ‘You’re special. People love you, and this will make the boys happy. You want them to be happy, don’t you? Because the boys will pay lots of money for these photos and films, and I’ll buy you more new dresses. Now just slip that dress over your shoulder and pull up the hem a bit more…’

  On the outside, I managed to go to school, to play with my friends, to eat and drink, and occasionally sleep. Inside, the sick terror was replaced over time with a familiar, dull ache. My body was down below, under the heat and the lights, but I was soaring overhead, flying up, safe and untouched.

  I found out later, that he used to drug me at first, just until he was sure I was obedient. By that time, he was taking me out on ‘trips into town’. He had business contacts in Cardiff, and we’d go up on the Friday evening, spend the weekend, and then come back late Sunday night.

  He always had a lot of money for a part-time slacker who ‘did something in IT’, and I wanted so badly for someone to question it, to question me. But it never happened. Hell, Uncle Alf was a nice bloke, tall, burly and bearded, with a deep reassuring voice, and big rough hands. He even found time to coach the local football team, and he was on the Parish Council. Nobody would ever have suspected he led a double life as a paedophile.

  Occasionally he would head down to his studio without me, and sometimes he took my friends. They would come back for tea, he’d give them a glass of squash, and they’d become all dreamy and cooperative. I’d sneak down after them and watch. I’m not sure why. I didn’t dare interfere, but I felt in some part of me that, if I was watching, I was looking out for them.

  His business expanded, and I learned more. In Cardiff, we had secret meetings in grubby hotels. I learned that there are men and women who pay huge amounts of money for photographs and films of children, and Uncle Alf would introduce me as his special ‘golden girl’. Those present at these meetings would look at me with the same predatory hunger as he did. The sickness swirled, but I headed up to my safe place on the ceiling.

  Hard copies of photographs or DVDs would be exchanged in sanitary white envelopes, but as time went on, and more opportunities presented themselves, I could see that very soon much of the actual trading was done online. The internet quickly became an integral part of the business growth. I watched, did what I was told, and waited.

  ‘Byddwch yn amyneddgar, Ava Cole, dwi bron wedi gorffen.’

  ‘Be patient, Ava Cole, I’ve nearly finished.’

  Chapter 30

  Ava knew she should have just said no, she should have just asked Leo to drop her back at the pink, dust-free B&B. But she felt safe in the car with him, alone in the darkness. The aftermath of the adrenalin from the chase and the hypothermia made her body weak and defenceless. Plus, her heart was insisting he was telling the truth. Joe’s casual dump-by-text and Sophie’s fury at her screw-up, all made her head spin. Ava sank back against the seat and closed her eyes.

  Leo leant over and pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders, and the smell of him conjured memories that stung and blurred. She kept her eyes shut, and his hand touched her cheek, his finger rough but gentle, and his breath was warm on her face. Before she consciously made a decision, his lips were on hers, just briefly. As the car moved off, she opened her eyes, watching the shadowy giants of the snowy hills blurring into the night sky. They drove in silence. The connection between them had always been violent, electric and passionate, but this was different.

  She really shouldn’t – a memory of Rhodri asking coarsely if she was going to fuck Leo, and her scathing reply. But Rhodri was in hospital, and that was another childhood friend possibly lost. Penny, who might have offered comfort, would be scolding her errant husband. There were no strangers at the gates tonight, no intruders into the luxury compound, and she slid out of the car, hugging both coats around her, still shivering. Leo’s house was warm and he flicked a few lights on, stopping to kiss her once more at the bottom of the stairs.

  ‘Ava, are you sure? I do have spare rooms you know… You’ve had a shit night, and you might regret this in the morning.’

  It was so unlike the Leo she thought she knew, and the boy remembered, that she found herself drawing back and looking at him as though he was a stranger. She laughed. ‘You’re right, I will regret this, but let’s do it anyway.’

  His room was clutter-free and the huge bed lay in front of more of the glass picture windows. Just now the darkness was peaceful, lulling her senses, but she knew if she was alone it would become oppressive, terrifying, and the nightmares would return. She returned his kisses, sliding his T-shirt over his head. It was familiar and new all at once, and she allowed herself to sink into the moment.

  * * *

  Her phone woke her, and she raised her head, confused. Leo was watching her from the other pillow. He smiled. ‘It’s okay. I put it on charge after you went to sleep last night.’

  ‘You… Right. Thanks.’ She felt like an awkward teenager again, but somehow without the bleary-headed feeling she had always associated with sex with Leo. It was, she suddenly remembered, because she’d always been drunk or drugged when she’d slept with him before. This was real, and she felt… happy, almost cleansed. Who knew that sex could be good for you?

  ‘You answer the phone, I’ll get coffee.’ Leo grinned at her, and slid out of bed, padding naked towards his bedroom door.

  The phone had gone to voicemail, and Ava squinted at the clock. It was just after six, and darkness still blanketed the world outside. A few snowflakes were already blowing past the window, making the security lights flick on and off. She shivered and drew the covers closer, listening to her messages.

  One was from Penny, apologising for being a bit shitty last night. Paul had returned home, drunk but safe, and Huw had driven off without a word of explanation. She would call later. The next was from Sophie, not apologising, but requesting a call back as soon as possible. The last was from a number she didn’t recognise.

  ‘You bitch, Ava Cole. You fucking bitch! You always had it in for Huw, didn’t you? He told me you thought you were so clever, you and your friends, but he was always better than you. You’d better get him home, and you watch your back, bitch, because we’re coming for you.’

  Nice. Ava didn’t know the voice, but assumed it might be Huw’s girlfriend, Isabell, who according to Bethan, Huw would never marry. So had Huw not come home on purpose, or more likely he had arrived back and been taken straight in for questioning.

  Leo came back with coffee, and
Ava again marvelled at how easy it would be to slip back into a relationship with him. Then she got a hold of herself. It was just sex. She had been in need of comfort, and Leo had just rescued her. She had been vulnerable…

  ‘Problems?’

  ‘No more than normal. I need to ring Sophie, and Pen says Paul came home pissed but unharmed, and Huw is either AWOL or down the station cooling off.’

  ‘He’s been arrested?’

  ‘Don’t know, but if Sophie caught up with him, she might have directed some of that fire-eating fury towards him.’

  Leo grinned. ‘I’ve only met her twice and she terrified me when she started asking questions. Plus, that police station at Cadrington stinks like the gents’ toilets, and the interview room feels like a prison cell. She’s a bit like you, actually, the DI. You both have that look. Maybe it’s a copper thing.’

  ‘Thanks. Oh and thanks for… you know.’

  ‘I do know. It was a pleasure. Still is. Look, you don’t have to stay at the B&B and with everything that’s been happening, you would be safer here with me. You don’t have to look so freaked out – it isn’t flattering! I don’t mean you have to sleep with me. You can have your own room. It would be easier for you while you’re in Aberdyth…’

  ‘Thanks, I’ll think about it… What about you? Will you be staying down here, even if the police have shut down filming until Bethan is found?’

  ‘I have to. As soon as we get clearance I need to finish the show. I… I need the money from this one.’ He took a sip of coffee, not looking at her. ‘I made some unwise investments and overstretched myself. This series has to be a hit. The Inspector did say I can carry on, but we need to scale things down to one area, and get extra security. I know it sounds awful, but we have a really tight schedule, and if we fuck this up, it could ruin me.’

  ‘I see.’ She wasn’t sure what else to say. She had discovered Leo’s financial issues for herself, and now he was confiding in her. Did that make him more innocent, or less? ‘I’m sorry.’