Remember Me
Page 31
‘But you still visit him in that home, and care for him… How do you do that?’
She laughed. ‘I don’t really care for him at all. I would have liked to have killed him, but for some reason, even when I realised he was growing physically weaker, I just couldn’t. It would be easier for him to have died. She’s still breathing, isn’t she?’
‘Yes.’
‘I’m glad. Goodbye, Ava.’
‘Penny, where are you going?’
She laughed, as though surprised at her friend’s stupidity. ‘To finish the game, of course.’
‘Don’t go. We can work something out…’
Her mood changed quickly. ‘Don’t tell me what to do. This is my game and my rules. Did you mean it when you said you loved me?’
‘Of course.’
‘Even after knowing what has happened?’
‘I don’t really know what has happened, do I? I’m still trying to take it all in,’ Ava said carefully. She could hear something, definitely. Quite far off, but the noise magnified along the ancient tunnels. Help was coming. She squeezed Bethan’s hand. The girl’s fingers were limp and icy.
Penny heard them too, and her eyes narrowed in the torchlight. She moved so quickly that Ava hardly had time to shield the girl at her feet. But Penny was trying to leave, and the other tunnel was right behind where Bethan lay.
‘Penny, we can work something out. I can help you… You’ve always been special to me.’ Floundering a little, Ava’s only thought had been to keep them all alive until the police arrived, but clearly her choice of words had triggered a reaction. ‘Penny?’
Her face contorted with horror and fury, Penny struck, slashing the knife across Ava’s arm. ‘Bitch! How could you say that? After everything that’s happened, I thought you were different…’
Ava, hampered by her need to protect Bethan, initially let the knife bite across her arm, absorbing the fierce sting, and hoping her layered clothing would take some of the force. She dodged, and felt the other woman’s hot breath on her face, her knife hand zinging past her ribs, tearing fabric again and again.
‘Penny, stop!’ It soon became obvious that Penny seemed to have forgotten Bethan’s existence, her whole being focused on punishing Ava. What the hell had she said to trigger this? She searched desperately for something to say to defuse the situation, but the fight was taking all her battered resources.
They faced each other again, circling like animals, each looking for the other’s weakness. Penny feinted to the right, then struck at Ava’s chest, missing as they locked in combat. Ava shook a fist free and hit her right between the eyes, at the same time seizing the knife handle. It was slippery with blood or sweat she half-noted, but she held on with grim determination.
But Penny moved quickly and drove the knife deep into Ava’s stomach. She dropped, clutching her abdomen, feeling the wet ooze of blood, the burning pain as the weapon hit its target for a second time.
Ava was lying on the hard floor, eyes closed, clenching her teeth against the pain, when Penny leant down to her. She tried to roll away, but the other woman held her head fast, hands either side of her cheeks. She dropped a brief, hard kiss on Ava’s lips. ‘Congratulations, you earned the knife. Nos da, Ava Cole.’
And then she was gone, running down the tunnel, footsteps drumming on rock. Ava summoned all her ebbing strength and rolled over to the discarded knife. With fumbling fingers she cut away all traces of the deadly noose from Bethan’s neck. Realising the girl had stopped breathing, she yelled for help, again and again.
Ava tilted the girl’s head back to open the airway, and listened. Nothing. She started to pump Bethan’s chest. One hand over the other, fingers linked, her own blood sticky on her hands;
‘One, two, three, four…’ No point in trying for breaths. She was struggling to stay conscious herself, and the pain in her side made her clasp a hand to the wound. More important to keep blood pumping round the body, than waste time with breaths that might never make it, she told herself. Even with only one hand, she was doing something to keep her alive. ‘One, two, three, four…’
It seemed to go on forever, the counting, the darkness, her own blood slippery on Bethan’s body, before she finally heard answering shouts behind her. She began to yell again, ‘Help – over here!’
The cavern was quickly crowded with uniformed officers, search and rescue teams, and paramedics. Powerful searchlights lit the space with a bright artificial whiteness, and the blood shone brightly on the stone floor.
Ava clamped a hand over her wound, left Bethan in safe hands, and started up the tunnel Penny had vanished into. The DI was yelling at her to stop. Ava let out one last breathless scream, ‘Penny!’ before collapsing on the rocky floor. From behind her she heard urgent medical talk around Bethan’s body. ‘She’s got a pulse… She’s back.’ Thank God for that, Ava thought, vaguely aware of a medic pushing her hands away to get to her wounds, of an oxygen mask being strapped to her face. Thank God I managed to save Stephen’s girlfriend. Her son’s words danced in her brain. ‘You fucked up being a mum, so, Detective, why don’t you try and do what you’re supposed to and find my girlfriend.’
It was a shame she hadn’t got to know Stephen, a shame he hated her so much…
She drifted, woozy, but Penny’s face stayed with her. That perfect, perky little girl, whose pretty face had concealed a monster. It wasn’t her fault though. All those conversations made sense now. She had planned it, planned the game, and planned all those conversations – to ease her conscience, or justify her actions? What made a killer like Penny? Her mother, or Uncle Alf, or was she just born with a random gene?
It was a question Ava had often asked during her career. Was it nature or nurture? She just never expected to be asking it about one of her friends. She was cold now, so cold she could cry, despite the foil blanket they were wrapping her in. She needed to go home. She had made her peace with Ellen. It was time to go home… Ava closed her eyes.
Chapter 38
So here we are. The last square on the board, the last roll of the dice. If I’m honest, now the moment has come, I want to carry on. A tiny piece of me is crying like a scared child, or a child who is piqued at losing their favourite game. It’s never happened before, losing so close to the end. My very last move, and I don’t even have to move from this square to make it. My choice.
Looking back, I know that now is my time to reflect, to prepare for what’s ahead. Fuck that. My first could be described as a mercy killing, and so too could my last. I wonder what my mother would think, if she knew how I spent my adult years. Perhaps I’ll meet her on the other side, in the light and the warmth. If I do, I’ll be sure to punch her in the face.
At least I’m not teetering on, pathetic and trampled underfoot by those who are stronger. I am not like she was, and I took my revenge on him. I’ve had some good games, and I’ve played the perfect wife and mother. I’ve had plenty of money. What else is there?
So, I’ve decided to take a running jump off the board, before the other players can catch up. Silencing that flicker of fear, I take a deep breath. The air is icy, the flakes whirl and spin. A dance of death and music playing just for me.
Ava Cole? She won’t be far behind. This was all for her. I’m sure she’ll work it out eventually, when she sees exactly what I am leaving her – she’s a clever girl. Not as clever as me, but who is? She’ll figure out all our heartfelt, girly conversations were actually confessions. She knows me better than she thinks, or less well than she believes. Who is to say which? I can hear my own high-pitched laughter echoing back at me. It’s just a game.
I rattle the pill bottle, breathing slowly, relishing the feeling of being alive. The snow skitters sideways now, inviting me to play. I can see faces in the ice crystals settling on the rock, and daisy chains are threading in and out of the icicles at the entrance to my cave. The scent of summer is returning, and I know it will be all right.
I unscrew the bottle, my fingers
clumsy with cold, and swallow the tiny pink capsules. The effort hurts all the way down to my gut, as though, even now, my body is still fighting.
The snow is deep and soft, virginal even. The daisy chains are swinging in the cool breeze, and the muffled silence is just for me.
I can taste my own blood, and I know fate is right behind me, tongue lolling, waiting for the kill. I’m not cold anymore, but the fire has gone from my belly. Slowly, I make my way towards the edge of the hill. The steep drop is cloaked in white, the vicious rocks gentle now, waiting just for me. Far below is the treacherous black gleam of Big Water. The air is sweeter up here, and my mind spins as I take in the vast, lonely, frosted landscape, my kingdom and my grave. I will step off the edge and fall so very far, for such a long time, I think.
And afterwards what will happen? I can see their faces more clearly now; My mum, Jessica and the others, are waiting with Jesse. But not Rhodri. And Ava? No, Ava will be up here soon, and she will know that I have won. Or maybe she won’t. I didn’t mean to hurt her, but perhaps I was meant to take her with me? I wonder if Bethan is alive. I don’t much care. I suppose that Stephen will be upset, but that’s life, kid. My love and hate has gone, and peace floods my mind.
Slowly, as the whiteness deepens, I step out, off the last square of the board, and start to fall. My prettiest princess dress floats around me, skirts billowing, lifting with the force of my leap. My beautiful golden hair tangles across my face, tears freeze on my cheeks. My feet and legs are bare, but that’s what makes me special, makes the boys happy…
‘Three little girls, sitting up a tree,
Kissed all the boys,
But no one loves me.’
I can hear her shouting for me now, but it’s too late. I have won after all these years.
Gem drosodd, Ava Cole.
Game over, Ava Cole.
Chapter 39
The grave was a slash of yawning darkness in the spring-washed grass of the graveyard. A mix of mourners milled around in the light rain, but not all of them really cared, apart from Stephen. In the last two weeks he had buried a mother and a father, neither of whom were actually his kin. He remained unaware of his parentage. With the graves fresh and raw, now was not the time. She hated to be lying still, after everything that had happened, but Leo had kept the secret long enough. Let her son mourn the man who had been his father, before they told him the truth about his biological parent.
Ava blinked hard, but a few tears slid from under her dark lashes. The tears were for all of them, for eight children playing in the woods, for the years of lies. Her son glanced round and smiled at her. It was a genuine smile, the kind she never thought she would have the right to. But in a funny way, she felt she had finally earned it. On Stephen’s other side Bethan, white-faced and big-eyed, was staring at the coffin. Her collar was turned up to hide the bruising on her neck, and her bulky red puffy jacket hid her skinny body. Luckily, she was young and fit. The doctors said that had saved her life during her time in the freezing caves under the hill. Physically, she would be okay. Mentally, Ava knew she would remember what happened for the rest of her life.
DI Miles was watching from a respectful distance, and Ava raised a hand in recognition. The other woman nodded and mirrored her action. The earth was being shovelled back into the ground now, thumping hard against the wooden coffin. She winced. Strange that Paul should go so quickly after his wife, or perhaps not. Penny had been the vital heartbeat that drove him. He had long ago lost the fight against cancer, but it seemed she had almost been keeping him alive by her very presence, her denial that he would die.
Ava had been with him when he died, and he fell asleep with a half-smile touching his lips. It was enough.
* * *
Back at the Birtleys’, Ava quickly finished her packing, snapped her case shut, and took a last look around the room. She would go to Leo’s place tonight and collect the things she had left there. Her heart gave a painful jerk as she noticed a small pink box on the bedside table. It wasn’t hers. Surely it hadn’t been there this morning.
She reached for it, sliding shaking fingers around to prise open the lid. A memory stick lay on a bed of white foam. No note. There was nothing else. A footstep outside her door brought her swinging around, hand automatically going to her hip.
‘Oh, Ava, I see you found the box. Good, I quite forgot that Penny gave it to me last month, just before we knew you were coming. She said that I must give it to you when she was gone. Very cryptic she was, but of course I never imagined that she meant gone, gone, you know, as in dead… I thought she might move away after Paul died.’ The old man rubbed his face, sniffing loudly. ‘I always did have a soft spot for little Penny, and I never liked Alf Thomas. How did we never guess, Ava? That poor child. There’s been a lot in the papers about how evil she was, planning this, and making money out of misery, but everyone forgets that she was corrupted first.’
‘I know, it doesn’t justify what she did at all, but I do know what you mean. You couldn’t have known what was going on. Please don’t beat yourself up, Mr Birtley. Did… did Penny say anything else when she gave you this?’
He shook his head. ‘No. Just what I told you. Anyway, safe journey, Ava. I have no doubt we’ll see you again next time you visit young Stephen.’
On impulse, Ava leant over and kissed his cheek. ‘Thank you.’ She didn’t have the heart to tell him she would never come back to Aberdyth. Stephen wanted to head to England for university. Their relationship was still in the early stages, but at least she had been able to give him the money without causing offence, presenting it as funding for his degree. His acceptance, and the tiny smile he gave her, told her that there was hope. Ellen’s parents had made their feelings pretty clear, and she didn’t blame them. They were holding a private memorial service for Ellen, before they too moved away.
When Mr Birtley had gone, Ava rang Leo, then Stephen. It seemed right that they should both be present for Penny’s last gift. It seemed even more fitting that they should meet at her house.
* * *
Stephen opened the door, red-eyed and frowning. ‘You said she left a USB?’
‘Yes. Can we go into the office?’
They booted up the computer and slipped the USB into the slot. Leo was drumming his fingers on the oak table and Ava told him sharply to stop. He glanced up, grinned briefly at her, and without thinking, her hand slid onto his shoulder. She couldn’t predict whether they had anything but possible friendship, but Leo had already casually mentioned he would be spending time in LA over the coming months.
‘It’s just her bakery website…’ Leo said squinting at the screen.
‘No. Look there’s something at the bottom right, a tiny square in her logo. That shouldn’t be there,’ Stephen said, pointing.
Ava clicked on the pop-up, and the screen went black, then red swirls started appearing. ‘Is it a virus? There isn’t anything she could want destroyed on here. The police have been through all her files. Oh, shit, it’s the dark web site underneath, isn’t it?’
‘More than that. There are hundreds of files on this stick, all dated and named. I can bring one up – look, names, phone numbers, addresses. Who are these people?’
The documents were neatly arranged, with website links, passwords, and hundreds of names. Some were highlighted, others had information missing. A separate folder held photographs, and another contained videos. Clicking on a couple, Ava winced and glanced at Stephen, but he just shrugged, and pushed her hand away as he carried on looking through. His face was a careful blank, but his brow was furrowed, and he kept rubbing a nervous hand through his wild hair.
‘That’s Penny.’
‘Yes.’
‘And that’s Rhodri, and Jesse.’
‘Yes.’
‘And there are so many others…’ Leo’s voice broke and he coughed to hide it.
They were silent for a long time, abandoning the photographs, and scrolling through the documents.
Leo ran his eyes down the files. ‘Bloody hell, she must have infiltrated hundreds of these websites to get this much evidence. This list of names and contact details runs over five pages. The Major Crime Team, or whatever DI Miles is involved in, are going to have a field day.’
They sat in silence for a moment, Leo’s arm around his son’s shoulders, both of them leaning close to Ava. Ava couldn’t get the photographs out of her mind. Penny had gone home to this for years and years. No wonder she was damaged. Damaged so badly, she came up with a whole new twisted logic to explain her behaviour and make herself feel whole again.
Paul had been her rock, but when it became clear he was terminally ill, that had shaken Penny. Jack had been bang on with his theory.
She had never killed Uncle Alf, because he didn’t deserve the easy way out. She needed to make him suffer, but Ava thought from their conversation that it was more than just being able to torture him on a weekly basis. She was inextricably linked to him, unable to free herself from his business, or his life. Or was it that Penny had simply told herself one day she would get revenge on all of them, her uncle included, and he needed to be alive for that?