Irons (Norfolk #1)

by Mj Fields

  I saw them sit and tossed down my Manhattan and ordered another. Then I saw Frankie walk in. I walked closer to witness the greeting. Wanting to see how, if at all, it had changed since Will’s death. If they looked sad when they saw Frankie.

  She had on a red tank top, a white skirt and sandals. Her hair was down and hanging mid-back. She looked stunning. I listened to the exchange.

  “Francesca.” Her mom walked up to her.

  They hugged like they used to hug Will.

  “You look beautiful, Francesca.”

  “Thanks, Mom, you, too.” She kissed her cheek and then hugged her father. “Hey, Daddy.”

  “Hermosa, chica.”

  “Apuesta, padre.”

  He hugged her tighter and then kissed the top of her head.

  “You look wonderful.” Her mom sat and patted the chair next to her, leaving the one by Will Sr. vacant.

  I decided now was as good a time as any to make an entrance.

  “Hello, Mr. and Mrs. Cruz, Frankie.” I nodded to her as they each stood and hugged me.

  “Jaxson, when will you call us by our names?” Will Sr. laughed as he sat.

  I smiled and looked over at Frankie. “Good to see you again.”

  Her eyes grew wider and she swallowed hard. “You, too.”

  I sat and listened as they discussed Frankie’s work and answered questions when they arose. It was very difficult sitting here for two reasons. Will, wasn’t here and he should have been. And it was incredibly hard to not look at Frankie.

  “Are you alright chica? You seem nervous, are you still taking—”

  “Mom,” she whispered and glanced at me.

  Her mom nodded and mouthed sorry.

  When the food arrived Frankie pushed her pasta alfredo around.

  “Is something wrong with the food?” Will Sr. asked her.

  “No, just not hungry.” she smiled and looked down.

  “Frankie, is your appetite—”

  “Mom,” she warned her for the second time.

  I didn’t remember Mrs. Cruz being on top of her kids like she was with Frankie right now, but then again she had never lost a child back then.

  I looked up at her and she was looking down.

  “¿Qué pasa, Francesca?”

  “¿Me estás avergonzando.”

  “Es sólo Jaxson,” Will Sr. chuckled. “¿Todavía tiene un flechazo con él?”

  “Detengo o me iré,” she scowled.

  Both her parents laughed and she sat back and crossed her arms, pouting like Frankie always did when she was annoyed. I really enjoyed the fact that they seemed unaware that I knew Spanish almost as much as I enjoyed knowing that Mr. and Mrs. Cruz already knew and didn’t seem upset that she had those types of feelings for me.

  “She still pouts the same, huh?” I said before taking a bite of my steak.

  Everyone laughed except for her.

  “It’s very good to see you again, Jaxson.”

  “It’s good to see you as well.”

  “Joel stopped over last Sunday.”

  “What? Why?” She gasped.

  Her parents looked at her strongly and finally Mrs. Cruz answered. “He said he needed to grab a movie that you had borrowed. Why, Frankie, what’s wrong?”

  Frankie’s facial expression changed, she looked like she was going to get sick.

  “¿Qué te pasa?” William asked.

  “Don’t get all, you know, crazy when I tell you this but Joel and I broke up—”

  “You what?” They both asked at the same time.

  “Why?” Her mother asked.

  “There is no real reason,” she said quietly and then looked up at me for a moment. “Things just weren’t going anywhere with him, so what’s the point?”

  “You two have been together for a long time, Frankie. You’ve been through a lot and he—”

  “Mom, don’t.” she whispered as she sat her napkin on the table, “Please, excuse me.”

  Frankie’s mother fallowed her to the back of the restaurant and into the bathroom.

  After a few moments of silence, Will Sr. spoke, “She’s been through a lot, you know.”

  “You all have been through—”

  “No, not like she has. After we buried Will, she changed. Went to community college and gained a noticeable amount of weight. When her clothes wouldn’t fit, she lost it. Threw things out the window. Said she hated herself and wished it were her instead of him. We got her some help. I couldn’t imagine losing another child. Then she went to the other extreme. She starved herself and refused to eat. It got to the point we had to hospitalize her. When she came home, it seemed everything was all right. She saw a counselor twice a week and things were good, until one night she crashed her car. When the police called, they told us to come pick her up, she had refused a breathalyzer but we knew she was drunk. One night while we were asleep, she took my car, when we found her she was at a party, drunk, so drunk that we ended up taking her to the hospital, scared that we would lose her. She spent some time that summer in rehab, she received counseling and after ten days she came home. It was like a switch had been flipped. She was, well, Francesca again. We watched her, tried to make sure she wasn’t doing any other self-destructive things to herself. A week later, she and Joel were sitting there and she was acting as if nothing had ever happened. When he left that night, she told us if she didn’t have Joel she’d be dead long before now. I am sure my wife is a mess. I pray that she is still taking her medication and not crushing it up and snorting it because we couldn’t survive much more.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear all that.” And I was, more than he knew.

  “Joel is a good kid. He kept her level, you know. I don’t know what to do now.”

  “I’m sure she has her reasons”

  “Right, I agree, the two of them have broken up a hundred times. It’ll all work out.” He sat back and closed his eyes, “Jaxson, I hate to ask but could you please check on her once in a while? Since that summer, she has tried to be so strong, but we know better.”

  There was no way possible I could tell him no, but if she knew, I am sure there would be hell to pay. “Of course.”

  “Thank you Jaxson.”

  They walked out and we stood as they sat down. Mrs. Cruz seemed to be all right. Frankie, on the other hand, did not.

  When it all falls apart

  Frankie

  YOU KNOW THAT feeling you get right before taking the first big dip on a roller coaster ride at the summer county fair? The moment where you regret the choice you made to get on the ride in the first place? The regret and the anxiety? That’s how I felt about what had gone on with Jaxson and me. That’s what I felt as soon as he sat down at that damn table and that’s what I felt when I dared glance up at him and saw the way he looked at me.

  Concern, maybe hurt, maybe betrayal. I wasn’t sure and I was trying not to allow myself to care. Not caring about Jaxson Irons was foreign to me. Since I was twelve, he had been included in my evening prayers and nearly every daydream I had was about him.

  “Francesca?”

  I looked up and everyone was staring at me. “I’m sorry, what was that?”

  “Jaxson is going to give you a ride home. He’d like to know where you live, maybe the two of you could connect once in a while?”

  “No, I can walk, it’s only—”

  “Frankie, don’t be silly,” he said in a playful manner, but nothing in his eyes showed that he was joking.

  I looked at my father and he looked taken aback by my reaction.

  “Sure,” I placed a smile on my face, the one for show. The one I had invented for my parents’ sakes. Will died and then I put them through hell. I would not do it again.

  We all walked out together, Jax gave my parents a hug goodbye and stood back waiting as I did the same.

  When they pulled out, I waved and waited until they were out of sight and turned to Jax, “What was this all about?”

  “Your father ca
lled. I tried to decline,” he took my arm and tried leading me towards the parking lot on the other side of the restaurant. I pulled away. “Look, I didn’t say a damn thing, okay. I came because he insisted.”

  “That was nice of you Jax. Why the change of heart after three years?”

  He crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side and looked at me. I recognized the look now, it was pity.

  “Don’t you look at me like that, Jax.”

  “Come on, let’s go.” He started walking.

  I couldn’t go with him, couldn’t chance that whoever it was that called me would find out, and I couldn’t be the reason Jax’s life would be anything other than what he wanted it to be.

  “I’m going to walk.”

  “Fine, I’ll walk you.”

  “I’m not a dog, Jax, you can’t walk me.”

  “Don’t be difficult, Frankie, you and I have some unfinished business to discuss.”

  I must have looked around and didn’t realize it because the next question he asked was, “Are you expecting someone?”

  “No.” I looked down and played with my ring, Will’s class ring, the one he received when he graduated from Annapolis, the one I wore to remind me who he would want me to be.

  “Frankie, please don’t make me cause a scene.”

  “Excuse me?” I whispered and looked around.

  “You heard me, now let’s go.”

  “I’m not going with you Jax. Please, just leave it alone.”

  “You and I will talk, let’s go. Now.”

  I knew there was little I could do or say standing out in front of the restaurant, and I knew Jax to be a man of his word. If he said he would cause a scene, I knew he would.

  I followed him to his car and got in.

  He jumped in and started it up. He didn’t speak, didn’t look at me, and when he didn’t go to my place I spoke up. “Jax, take me home.”

  He didn’t reply. He just gunned the accelerator. When he turned down his road, I reached for the door and unlocked it. In that moment I wanted to jump, to escape, put distance between us because I knew if I didn’t, I would break.

  “Don’t you pull that shit on me,” he sneered as pulled my hand away from the door handle.

  He pulled in his driveway and slammed on his brakes.

  “I don’t want to be here,” my voice broke. I couldn’t help it. Last night had me on edge and then today, seeing how determined he was. Knowing he’d stepped out of his comfort zone. Yes, Jax loved Will, but when he left, Jax left us behind.

  He opened his door, got out and slammed it. When he reached my door, he opened it. When I didn’t get out, he reached in and pulled me out.

  “Let me go. Let me go, Jax!” I yelled as he hoisted me up and carried me into his house against my will.

  When he plopped me on the couch, I went to stand up and he yelled. “Enough! God damn it, Frankie, talk to me.”

  He started pacing back and forth, rubbing his hand over his black hair. “Ace, is this about Ace?”

  “No,” I whispered. “It’s about us Jax, you and I won’t work.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it!”

  His chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, his jaw tightened as he looked at me. When he was about to speak, he stopped himself and started pacing again.

  “Joel, why the hell is he going to your parent’s house? Is this about him? Are you two—.”

  “No.”

  I wondered why Joel had gone to my family’s home, too. I don’t remember a movie of his being there—“Oh my God.”

  I covered my face and began to feel like I couldn’t breathe. I stood up and tried to go to the door.

  “No, we get this out—”

  “Can’t breathe.”

  My heart pounded so hard against my chest that I felt like it would come out. My body started to tingle and then the tingling subsided and I felt numb.

  “Frankie?”

  I could hear his voice but the tightness in my chest worsened and I was sure my heart would stop beating at any moment. “Movies.” I tried to push past him, “Me and him, oh God!” I cried out and held my chest.

  “Okay, breathe, Frankie.”

  “I’m gonna die,” I cried as my body started shaking uncontrollably. I had suffered from anxiety, but never an attack like this. It was a new feeling, one in which I knew would not go away.

  “I won’t let that happen.” He picked me up in his arms.

  “Air, outside.”

  He walked quickly outside and held me as I gasped for air.

  “Breathe slower, Frankie, in and out. In and out. That’s good, Slower and deeper.”

  He sat on the steps of his back deck, cradling me in his arms as I took slow deep breaths.

  It was several minutes before I felt like I was going to be okay, that I could breathe.

  His lips were on my head as he whispered, “In and out.” Over and over again.

  When I had calmed down enough, I sat up and stepped off of his lap. “Thanks.”

  I started walking down the beach and he followed.

  Once I stopped and looked over the water, he stood beside me and shoved his hand in his pockets.

  “How bad are they?”

  I shook my head from side to side and whispered, “Bad.”

  “You need to call him and ask him what his intentions are with the videos.”

  “I don’t know what to say, how to even go about starting that conversation.”

  “I can do it.” The low rumble in his voice shook me a bit.

  “No, I will.” I turned and walked towards his house. “I need to leave. You and I aren’t good for each other just like they said. I will ruin you.”

  “Who said?” He asked grabbing my hand and stopping me.

  “What?”

  “Like who said, Frankie?” He scowled as he waited for the answer.

  “I was rambling.”

  “Bullshit. Tell me the damn truth.”

  I felt myself shaking again and I closed my eyes, taking in long deep breaths trying to calm myself.

  “I got all night, Frankie,” he warned.

  “Please, Jax.”

  “You tell me who and why and I will take you home. I will leave you the fuck alone like I have all week, even though it’s crushing me, Frankie. Do you understand that? It is crushing me.”

  I understood perfectly well what he felt. I felt it too.

  “Someone called me. They said to stay away from you, that I wasn’t good for you or your future plans.”

  “Are you fuck—” He stopped and took a step to me, took my hands, pulled them up to his face, and held them against him.

  “Listen to me and listen well. I won’t repeat this again. When I think of my future now, I don’t see me alone and it has never been that way. You and I, we talk about the call. We talk about the video and we talk about what your father and I discussed about that first summer we lost Will.”

  “What did he tell you?” I tried to pull my hands back, only to have him hold tighter and kiss my palms.

  “Nothing that made me afraid to bring you here. Nothing that made me want to run.”

  “Then you don’t know a damn thing.”

  He pulled me against him, “You were grieving the only way you knew how. But that’s all changed now, hasn’t it?” I shook my head no. “Don’t lie to yourself, Frankie. Be honest and ask yourself what made that change.”

  “I’m cold.” I didn’t want to face my feelings right now. Feelings that would cost me my heart and him a future.

  He pulled me tighter. “I’ll fix that, too.”

  I looked up into his beautiful green eyes as he looked down at me.

  “You and me, were gonna happen—”

  “But—”

  “But nothing, we just have to figure out what we’re up against.”

  “Mimi?”

  “I don’t think so. And you don’t have to worry about her. It’s a show, Frankie, her father and my father made
a deal years ago.”

  “It’s none of my business.” I looked away and then felt his finger lift my chin.

  “It is and you know it. Let’s go inside. I wanna warm you up properly.”

  “Jax, we shouldn’t.”

  As we walked to the house, his hand on the small of my back, guiding me, I couldn’t say no. Couldn’t walk away if I tried. My body and brain were at war inside of me. I knew the warning I received wasn’t in jest or without merit.

  “Jax, between the video and my… past,” I stopped and closed my eyes. “I told you three years ago how I felt about you and that hasn’t changed, it’s only grown stronger. But I’ve grown too and I will not be selfish with the man I—”

  I stopped again and he turned me and held me as he whispered in my ear, “Say it.”

  “It’s not fair, it’s no good. I can’t—”

  “Say it,” he whispered again, a bit louder.

  “I love you, okay? Is that what you wanted to—”

  His lips crashed down over mine before I had time to finish and he lifted me up as he walked into the house, kicking the door closed behind him.

  His tongue traced the part in my lips, I opened, giving him what he desired and he groaned as his tongue stroked mine. My body immediately came to life. Nothing could stop this feeling if I wanted it to. No amount of will power could exist in a world where Jaxson Irons was touching me. It simply didn’t exist.

  My arms wrapped around his waist as I closed the distance, that seemed to be more than a million miles between us, as my tongue met his. Even with our bodies touching, it wasn’t close enough. I wanted to be closer to him. My hands found their way to his neck and I pulled him down.

  “Fuck,” he said in a growl as his teeth pulled at my lips, and then he pulled away abruptly.

  I looked up at him. He closed his eyes tightly together and the muscles in his jaw twitched.

  “Jax?”

  He grabbed my hand and opened his eyes, looking intensely into mine.

  “You’ll be staying with me until we figure out who the hell is calling you. I’m going to call my mother and find out—”

  “Jax, no. I’m not ready.”