Best of 2017

by Alexa Riley

  “You’ve been exploring.” He didn’t phrase it like a question nor an accusation.

  I smoothed my hands over my dress and nodded. My body hummed with awareness, his close proximity, the things he’d done to me…made me do to him ringing through my very cells. “Yes,” I finally said. It was then I saw the dark security camera placed in the center of the room. No doubt there was one in every room, every hallway. “You’ve been watching me?”

  He didn’t speak for long seconds, didn’t answer me, didn’t confirm what I asked. “Yes. I watch everything that happens here.” He pushed away from the door frame, holding his hand out for me to take.

  For some reason I didn’t hesitate in slipping mine in his much bigger palm.

  He led us out of the room, back through the many hallways, down a set of stairs, and finally into what I assumed was his office. I didn’t ask what he was doing, why he’d brought me here. I assumed it had something to do with sex. That’s why I was here, right?

  He let go of my hand, went over to his desk, and pushed a button. Like some strange spy movie, some action flick that played out before me, a part of the wall behind his desk opened up to show rows upon rows of screens. Every part of the house was showcased before me, the screen flickering to different areas, inside and outside, bedrooms and the kitchen. I found myself moving closer, looking at the screens, seeing a few staff in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast. I didn’t know how long I stood there, but I watched each screen, staring at each image, and wondering what Cameron thought about when he saw me.

  I felt his heat right behind me, his huge body making me feel like I could fall backward and he’d be there, catching me, holding me close. It was insane, demented, but I didn’t want to push that feeling away. I wanted to embrace it.

  He put his hands on my shoulders, slid them down my arms, and stopped at my hips. His fingers dug into my flesh, hard enough I felt the pain, the sting of his possession. And when Cameron pulled me back against him, the stiff length of his erection had this flush stealing over me.

  “I’ve watched you on these screens, wondering what you thought about, what you imagined would happen here.” He ground himself against me, my body reacting instantly. I warmed, became wet, soft. “I thought about all the things I could do to you, what I wanted you to do to me, how I wanted you to submit to me like no other.”

  I closed my eyes, the rotating of his hips, the way he whispered the words against my ears…all of it made me ready for him, had me pushing away the fact I shouldn’t be enjoying it.

  “Who are you?” I whispered, not sure why I asked, not sure what this meant or what he’d think. He stopped grinding on me, turned me around gently, and cupped my throat. His hold was loose but there, telling me, showing me that he had the power.

  “Who do you think I am?” He didn’t ask it in a condescending manner, wasn’t taunting me, teasing me. I had a feeling he really wanted to know what I thought.

  I stared into his dark eyes, remembering all the things he’d told me about himself.

  Drug lord.

  Criminal.

  Killer.

  I wanted to know who he was. I wanted to know the type of man he was before he became this way. But asking him that seemed almost like I’d be crossing a line, something I wasn’t prepared to do, not yet, maybe not ever. But the longer he stared at me, looking into my eyes, the more I felt myself wanting to ask, wanting to push him. I might not have gone to school in the official sense, didn’t have a degree, couldn’t read people the way he could, but I could see a man with so much power also harbored his own pain.

  “I think you’re a man who has seen things he shouldn’t, a boy who is just as damaged, just as broken.” I felt him tighten his hand on my throat, just marginally, but his expression still stayed neutral. “I think you built up a wall around you, put yourself ahead of everyone, because you didn’t have any other choice.” I was grasping for straws here, just throwing this out, thinking a man like Cameron had to have his own weaknesses and that’s why he needed so much power. “I think you need to have control, because once in your life you had none.” He walked me backward until I felt the wall of monitors stop me. “I think that’s why you don’t have anything personal here, no pictures, no memories. You have a wall around your life to block it all out.” His hand was tight, unforgiving on my throat. I couldn’t breathe, but he was exerting his strength on me.

  For long moments he did nothing but hold my throat, keeping me pinned to the wall, staring into my eyes. And when he leaned in close, his mouth inches from mine now, I held my breath, unable to control it.

  “Careful, pretty girl. You’re moving awfully close to the fire, and if you’re not careful, you’ll get burned alive.”

  That, I had no doubt about, but a part of me wanted to get swept up in the flames, consumed by them. I wanted to be the gasoline that ignited it all.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  IT HAD ONLY BEEN days since I’d been here. Well, it had only felt like days, but maybe it had been longer, time meshing together, coming as one.

  I was curled up on a bench, the sun setting, the husky pink glow of dusk washing through the window. The book I was reading was one of poetry, sad, longing phrases of love lost, of pain, sorrow. I stared out the window, thinking about the author, how they must have been in a dark place to write these words, to spill them along the pages in dark ink of emotion.

  After the encounter in Cameron’s office, he’d left me to “settle myself,” whatever that meant. But I was thankful for this time alone, my thoughts my company, the scenery my comfort.

  I set the book down and got up. I wanted to go outside, to get some fresh air. I didn’t care if it was chilly, and if I didn’t have a jacket. I was also shoeless, but I anticipated the feeling of that chill on my soles, and the texture from the ground seeping into me.

  After I left the room, I headed down the hall and to the solarium. I hadn’t explored the lower level much, so wasn’t sure where the actual back entrance was. But it didn’t matter in the end, because I’d make it outside regardless. I didn’t see anyone on my way to the solarium and was curious if Cameron would let me explore outside alone. It wasn’t until I pushed open the large glass door that led to the gardens that I stopped when I saw Damien standing just a few short feet away.

  No, it seemed Cameron wouldn’t let me roam alone.

  I clenched my teeth, that fact more than annoying. I was here of my own free will and had no intentions of leaving. He’d just find me anyway.

  “I don’t need a chaperone. I’m not going anywhere. A deal is a deal.” I had no idea why I even said anything to Damien. The man hadn’t said anything to me and always had this look of indifference and danger surrounding him. I didn’t expect him to respond, and when I started walking away, feeling him following at a distance, I figured at least if I had to have someone with me, Damien was as good as it would get. He’d keep his mouth shut and at least make it seem like he wasn’t really there.

  After some time I pushed the fact he was behind me out of my head and enjoyed the scenery. There wasn’t much in the growing department as it was early April. But some of the more common bulbs had already begun sprouting, the promise of color and life in the air. I hadn’t come outside to look at what wasn’t here. I wasn’t to be outside to be free, to not have any walls surrounding me, to have the fresh air and sun on my skin. A breeze moved by, chilled, the hint of winter’s past in its touch. I shivered slightly and wrapped my arms around my waist. When I sat on a stone bench, the seat cold, hard, unforgiving, I stared at the woods that surrounded the property. It went on for as far as the eye could see, a natural fence, a blockage of green and brown.

  In the corner of my eye I saw Damien off to the side, his huge arms hanging loosely at his side, his focus on me. I turned and looked at him, wondering where this man had come from, who he was. How long had he known Cameron? Did they share the same fucked-up past? I might not know what that past was, but the reaction I’d
gotten from Cameron when I brought it up told me he had his own demons he dealt with.

  “I’m really not going anywhere. You can tell him that.” I felt like saying the words, pushing them in further, making him see that I was here because I wanted to be.

  Because I wanted to be…

  That thought played through my head over and over again, and I realized that although my circumstances were pretty fucked up, being here wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Although I might not have seen the full extent of what Cameron wanted to do to me, so far he hadn’t hurt me, hadn’t made me feel degraded. He’d fed me, provided clothing—even if it did feel wrong at times. It was all so confusing, but I realized I was welcoming it, in some regard at least.

  I don’t know how long I sat there in silence, but then again I didn’t expect him to respond, didn’t expect him to grace me with anything. I pushed my hair off my shoulder, the wind like a lost lover’s caress, gentle, cold.

  “I’m not here because he thinks you’ll leave.”

  I turned and faced Damien, startled that he’d said something.

  “I’m here to make sure you’re safe.” He glanced at me, his dark eyes cold, his expression neutral. I didn’t ask what he meant by that, didn’t ask why he’d decided to tell me. Cameron was a dangerous man, I knew that, and I had to assume it was because of that, because he had connections, that he was looking out for me in that regard…because I was his property.

  Was he saying I wasn’t safe from Cameron’s enemies, or maybe he was being truthful, telling me that who I should really be afraid of, who I was really in danger from was Cameron.

  “But if you have any fear, you shouldn’t. This property is secure.” He did glance at me then. “I’m just the extra measure.” He broke eye contact and stared off into the distance. He’d said more words to me than he ever had before.

  I, too, looked out at the trees, not sure what to think, how to feel. Maybe I should have put more stock into what I wanted, into the fact that my desire played more of a role in this than my fear. Maybe I should have been worried, but instead I felt like I embraced it, like I wasn’t even giving myself a chance to not accept this. I glanced at Damien again and took in the several guns I saw strapped to his body.

  “Should I be afraid of him?” I whispered, not sure if Damien would even answer, not sure if I wanted him to. He slowly turned his head in my direction. But before he said anything, if he even planned on saying anything, I felt as if someone was here, watching us.

  “Sofia,” Cameron said from the doorway, his voice deep, mesmerizing. I turned to stare at him.

  My heart was already stuttering in my chest. He looked fierce in this moment, maybe even angry with me for pushing him earlier. Had he heard what I’d asked Damien?

  “Go to the bedroom. Undress, and wait for me.” The fact he didn’t mince his words in front of Damien had my face heating, embarrassment swimming through me. And then he was gone, leaving me there with my mind reeling. Tonight I’d find out exactly what he had in store for me. The oral he’d given me, and when I’d done it to him, had just been the appetizer to this twisted story. I knew that, felt it.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  I FOUND myself in the bedroom, taking my clothes off as if it was an automatic gesture. I thought about how I’d felt outside, the wind in my hair, the sensation that nothing contained me, nothing held me back, a familiar feeling since I’d been with Cameron. I was in the process of pushing my panties down when the bedroom door opened. I turned, my heart thundering, my mind spinning. Cameron shut the door behind him, the suit he had on not taking away from the sheer presence that surrounded him.

  “Damien is there for protection, not conversation,” he said as he started to remove his tie, his focus on me.

  I swallowed, not sure if I should hold my ground or back away. I couldn’t help but feel like he was stalking me, moving forward slowly, waiting for his chance to attack. There wasn’t anything I could say, nothing I wanted to say in that moment. He kept moving forward, tossing the tie on the bed. Then he went for his cuff links. It was then, once he had them off and set on the vanity, that I realized I was stuck between him and the wall. There didn’t seem to be any way to stop this.

  Do I want to stop this?

  Yes, I wanted to scream out. I want this to stop. I shouldn’t have to compromise myself because my body warmed at the thought and sight of him. This man made me feel things that I wanted to keep buried, hidden. I felt like my own body was working against me, succumbing, submitting to this man…this monster.

  This is insane. You are insane.

  I couldn’t help thinking that over and over again, disgusted with myself and this man, because not only did I fear him, but I wanted him, too. A gorgeous demon intent on corrupting me, determined to make me his.

  “You can ask anyone about me.” He moved a step closer. “But if you want the truth, you’ll ask me directly.”

  I was a prisoner of my own body, my mind. “Asking you anything directly seemed like crossing a line.” He was just inches from me now, his body so big, his heat so intense. Before I could contemplate what he was going to do, what he might say, he had his hands on my waist, turning me, and setting me on the vanity.

  The apothecary jars crashed to the side before rolling off and shattering on the ground. Here I was, ready for him, my mind screaming to preserve my self-respect, to let him know that I was strong.

  “Who are you really?” I found myself asking, my voice breathy, my body ready. He had his hands on my waist still, holding me, caressing me. I wasn’t a fool to think this man would be gentle, not in the parts that counted, not when there was fucking instead of making love.

  No, Cameron was definitely the hate-fuck kind of guy, the one who took what he wanted because he knew he could. But then again, I wasn’t a flowers-and-chocolate girl. I’d come from the gutter of the world, fought my way to the surface just so I could breathe, and the darkness Cameron offered was what I craved.

  “Who are you, Sofia?” He slid his hands up to my bra straps, slid them over my shoulders, but didn’t remove the garment. “Tell me you don’t want what I can give you, that you aren’t wet with the idea of the depravity in which I can cover you completely.” He smoothed his hands over the mounds of my breasts, which rose violently above my bra line. “Tell me that taking you in the way I want to, crave to, doesn’t make you so fucking ready for me you’re on the verge of begging me for my cock.”

  His words should have shocked me, had bile rising in my throat. Instead I found myself moaning, unable to control myself, unable to control the most basic urges I had for him.

  “So tell me, sweet Sofia. Who are you?”

  We stared into each other’s eyes for a long second, my mind a whirlwind, my throat tight. “I’m the girl who sold herself to the very devil himself, right?”

  He smirked, the first time I’d seen anything but hard composure on this man’s face.

  “Who are you?” I asked again, not sure if this was smart, not sure if just playing out this time wasn’t the best route for me to take. After that I could go, live my life, be away from it all. I’d find a way to leave, to forget about what I’d gotten myself into, what I’d seen. The death, the violence, the fear I felt when I didn’t think I had any options with Ricky—those things didn’t have to control me. They didn’t have to follow me for the rest of my life.

  He slid his hand up to my throat, added a bit of pressure, and leaned in. “I’m a man with a past you don’t want to know about.”

  But I did want to know about him. I did want to know how he became the way he was, this powerful person who was deadly, intelligent, and mine for the next two weeks.

  That last thought slammed into me so hard I made this involuntary sound, this breathless gasp.

  “Tell me what you just thought about right now,” he said, moving an inch closer, my legs spread, his erection tenting the front of his slacks and coming into contact with my pussy. He felt so hard, so big.
I was a virgin, had never even been with a man before. This would have scared me with a “normal” man. Cameron was anything but normal. He was dangerous, probably volatile, and the things he wanted to do to me…I shivered at the images.

  I contemplated about lying, about making something up, or maybe being submissive, subservient. I thought about just telling him I made the sound because I was eager for this, or maybe scared of it—the latter being the truth. He added a bit of pressure to my throat, and I braced my hands on the vanity, rising up slightly. I arched my neck, wanting the pressure off, wanting him to add more.

  He held me like he had a right to, like I wanted this, would beg him for it eventually.

  I’d probably do that now.

  What I was fighting myself on was the fact that these things he said to me, did to me, humiliating as they were, turned me on.

  “I thought about how I’m yours for the next two weeks, but that you’re also mine.” Being honest seemed like the best course, but truthfully I probably wouldn’t have been able to force the lie out anyway.

  He pulled back and stared at me, barely breathing, not moving.

  A part of me didn’t want to desire him, didn’t want this. But I couldn’t fight it. I didn’t want to.

  “You want to know the man I am, Sofia?” The way he said it, the look in his eyes and the deepness of his voice, startled me. He was like an animal waiting to pounce on his prey, just take the weaker creature and devour it.

  And I was that weaker animal.

  He moved back from me, his hand leaving my throat. He started undoing the buttons of his shirt, pushing the material off his shoulders, and I was left speechless as I stared at the body before me. I’d been able to see how strong and muscular he was even when he wore a suit. Thick biceps, vein-roped arms, a defined six-pack and that V that framed it, and tattoos covering it all.