Born to be Wild

by Anne Marie Winston

  “No.” He brushed a stray tendril of hair back from her face with a gentle hand. “But it’s getting better again.” His gaze locked with hers and for one long, intense moment, his eyes remained unguarded. In them she saw regret, longing, tenderness, desire…and she tore her gaze away, unable to sustain the intimate exchange.

  “Celia.” The word was a rough whisper of sound. One long finger, calloused from hours of sailing, slipped beneath her chin and lifted it. His dark head came down, blotting out the light, and she closed her eyes automatically as his lips slid onto hers.

  Her whole body leaped in delighted response as his mouth settled firmly over hers, molding and shaping. Yes! it shouted. Without giving herself time to think about the foolishness of kissing Reese Barone, she sank against him with a soft hum of pleasure, her hands sliding up to the back of his neck and stroking through his thick, warm hair.

  Reese’s arms tightened. His mouth grew demanding, and she parted her lips to allow him inside as one large hand slid down her back to press her body against his. He was hard and hot and utterly male, making her feel feminine and fragile and surprisingly vulnerable, though it wasn’t an unpleasant sensation. She hadn’t been held by a man since Milo died. Dear heaven, she’d forgotten how good it could be.

  It was never this good with anyone but Reese.

  “Spend the day with me tomorrow.” It was a command.

  She hung in his arms, clutching his heavy biceps, unable to process the words.

  “Say yes,” he said, and his voice was urgent.

  “Yes,” she repeated obediently.

  “Good!” He claimed her mouth again before she could take back the word, then quickly released her and stepped away. “I would stay longer, but I’m not sure I’d be able to make myself leave,” he said frankly, “and you’re not ready for anything more.”

  And before her befuddled brain could formulate a response, he sketched her a quick salute and headed out the door. “I’ll be here at ten.”

  The phone rang as Celia was getting ready to meet Reese in the morning.

  It was Roma, and she was bubbling over with questions. “I called you yesterday afternoon but Angie said you’d gone out on the water with Reese Barone.”

  “Yes.” She knew Roma would have a fit if she didn’t explain, and she couldn’t resist teasing her a little.

  “And…?”

  “He helped me gather some stuff for my wreaths.”

  “And…?”

  “The weather was beautiful.”

  “Celia!”

  She chuckled. “Did anyone ever tell you you’re nosy?”

  “Yes. What happened?” It was hard to insult someone who freely acknowledged her failings.

  “Nothing happened.” At least, not while we were out on the water.

  “Why’d he come back?”

  “I don’t know. His family does have a home here, remember?”

  “That didn’t seem to matter to him before.” A pause. “Is he still the same as you remember?”

  “More or less. It’s been…nice to talk to him again.”

  “Oh, come on, Ceel. I bet it’s been more than ‘nice.’ Angie says he’s still a total hottie.”

  “He’s not bad.”

  “So…do you still have feelings for him?”

  “That was thirteen years ago, Roma. I married another man, remember?”

  “So you do.” Roma cut right through any attempt to distract her.

  Celia sighed. “I have wonderful memories of my first love. Seeing Reese brings back a lot of those memories. But it doesn’t mean anything more than that.”

  “Right.” Roma’s voice was dry.

  “It doesn’t!” She was getting a little annoyed and it showed in her voice.

  “Sorry.” But Roma didn’t sound sorry. “But I’ve known you long enough to know when you’re fibbing. What if Reese came back to find you after all these years? Would you still be interested?”

  “He didn’t, so it’s a moot point. But no, of course not. I moved on and I imagine he did, too.”

  “Maybe.” Roma didn’t sound convinced. “But I still think it’s odd that he’d show up here out of the blue. Angie says he’s alone and he’s not wearing a wedding ring.”

  She was going to have to talk to Angie about encouraging these fantasies of Roma’s. “I didn’t check.” That much was true. It had never occurred to her that Reese might be married.

  “Well, if he’s not, then there’s no reason you two couldn’t get back together.”

  “I am not interested in getting married again.”

  “Who said anything about getting married?” Her best friend’s voice was relentlessly cheerful and supremely innocent. “A steamy fling might be a good thing for you. And who better to scratch your itch than a guy you already know you’re compatible with in that way?”

  “Are you nuts?” Celia demanded. “I do not need any itches scratched.”

  “All right.” Roma sighed gustily. “Just trying to help.” Her voice grew gentle. “It’s okay to go on living, honey.”

  “I know.” She was abruptly perilously close to tears. “But jumping into bed with an old flame just because it might be fun isn’t my style.” She glanced at the clock above the sink in her kitchen. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you next week.” No way was she telling Roma she’d kissed Reese last night, or that she was spending time with him today. She already knew she should have her head examined.

  After ending the conversation, she dressed quickly and went down to the marina. If she was going to take time off, she needed to check in at the office to make sure everyone had their instructions for the day.

  An hour later Reese stuck his head into her office. “Hey.”

  “Hey.” She looked up from her computer and smiled. Then the smiled faded as she remembered the way they’d parted last night, and a ridiculous shyness spread through her.

  Reese stepped inside and closed the door behind him. As he started across the office, he held her gaze and her heart leaped into her throat. She rose from her chair. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” His voice was husky, his eyes serious. “I figured that if we don’t get this out of the way first, we’ll both be wondering about it all day.”

  “What?”

  “This.” His hand curled around the back of her neck and tugged her toward him as his head came down. He kissed her sweetly, lingering over her mouth and finally drawing back with a bemused smile. “I used to try to convince myself that it really hadn’t been that great between us, that you were so unforgettable only because we’d split up while things were still fantastic.” His brushed his lips over hers one more time. “I was wrong.”

  She didn’t know what to say. It seemed disloyal to admit how often she’d thought of him. She could barely admit that to herself. But she couldn’t resist lifting her hand and briefly cradling his lean cheek in her palm. He closed his eyes and tilted his head into her hand.

  And then the door opened.

  They leaped apart like two teenagers caught parking by a cop.

  “Oops!” Angie’s voice was merry. “Sorry, boss. I just need the invoice for that bluefish charter today.”

  “Not a problem.” Celia was proud that her voice was steady. She turned back to her desk, found the piece of paper, then handed it over to Angie. “So you have everything under control?”

  “No problem.” Angie smiled at Reese. “Get her out of here. She never takes a break.”

  Four

  To Celia’s surprise, Reese asked if she’d like to go to the arts festival over on Nantucket. When she agreed, he led her down to his slip and they boarded the Amalie.

  She couldn’t help wondering about the unusual name. Who was Amalie? Had she been a woman important to Reese in the thirteen years he’d been away?

  She wasn’t about to betray how unsettled she felt at the thought. It was ridiculous—and totally naive—to expect that he hadn’t had some serious relationships. Her stomach did
a funny little dance. He even could have been married. Reese, married to someone else. True, she’d married someone else, but… She could hardly acknowledge the rush of wicked jealousy she felt at the mere idea of Reese and another woman.

  Was it possible that he felt the same way, thinking of Milo? If he did, he certainly hid it well. Even the night she’d told him about her family, he’d been nothing but kind and sympathetic. He’d shown absolutely no trace of the foaming-at-the-mouth fury she could feel if she allowed herself to think about it much more.

  And she suddenly felt very deflated. Of course he hadn’t been jealous. Reese had moved on years ago. He’d proven it when he’d left her behind.

  “Celia?” Reese took her hand. “Watch your step.” He stopped her just before she would have tripped over someone’s deep-sea fishing equipment spread out all over the dock as they cleaned the decks.

  Summoning a smile she said, “Thanks.” She couldn’t meet his eyes, though, and she was thankful for the bright sunlight that had demanded she wear her sunglasses.

  Before casting off for Nantucket, Reese gave her a quick tour of his boat, a design less than a year old with every conceivable amenity. The interior was warm, rich mahogany with lighter accents. There was a large-screen television, a computer and a navigation system with all the bells and whistles, and three staterooms, one of which contained an enormous bed covered in a gorgeous ivory comforter.

  She went topside fast, not caring if Reese thought she was running away. She was. Being in a room with Reese Barone and a big bed was a bad, bad idea.

  They made the short trip across the sound to the old whaling town. Walking away from the wharf, Celia felt as if every resident on the Cape was there, staring at the Widow Papaleo and her new companion. It was all in her head, she was sure, because locals rarely attended these things. They were strictly for the tourists and had supplanted the sea as the mainstay of the whole Cape’s economy, but still, there was no denying she felt odd. Intellectually she knew what it was. People expected certain things of those who were grieving. And even though it had been more than two years, she was afraid they would be critical if they saw her with another man. Why wouldn’t they? She was critical of herself!

  She wondered if she would harbor the same guilty-pleasure kind of feeling if her companion was a new acquaintance, someone with whom she hadn’t shared such a complicated—and intimate—past. Maybe that was it. She felt as if everyone walking by knew exactly what she and Reese had been up to on all those boating expeditions years ago.

  But Reese didn’t appear to entertain any of the same concerns. He took her to a lobster bar for lunch and they dined on a rooftop deck beneath a sun umbrella. It might be October, but the whole year had been unseasonably warm and dry and it was still pleasant during the day. After lunch they wandered the terraced cobblestone streets and eventually headed down to Old North Wharf where they perused the work of the many local artists who immortalized Nantucket’s charm.

  “I like this guy’s work,” Reese said, stopping before one easel. “The view of the town from the harbor is a nice perspective.”

  Celia chuckled. “Guess you didn’t see the painting hanging above the sideboard in my dining room. It was done by him.”

  But Reese wasn’t listening anymore. His attention was riveted on the window of a small pub that fronted the street.

  Celia followed his gaze, trying to discern what had distracted him. All she saw were families and couples enjoying late-afternoon cocktails and snacks. One couple, in particular, looked as if they were enjoying each other a lot more than their drinks, and she winced as the man dragged the woman close and devoured her mouth in a sloppy display of far-too-public lust.

  When she glanced back at Reese, his expression mirrored her own.

  She couldn’t help smiling. “Don’t care for PDAs?”

  “PDAs?” He was still watching the couple.

  “Teen slang for Public Display of Affection. Hiring so many kids keeps me up on high-school-speak.”

  “Mmm.”

  “Reese? Is something wrong?” He was still focused on the couple.

  “That man,” he said, “is my cousin Derrick.”

  “Your cousin!” She was torn between happiness for him that he might get to talk with a family member and dismay that the man appeared so oblivious to appropriate public behavior. “Maybe he’s had a bit too much to drink. He seems a little…unaware of his surroundings.”

  “I doubt it.” Reese’s voice was surprisingly cool. “Derrick will do just about anything for attention.”

  “He’s certainly getting it now.” Around the couple, people were casting covert, scandalized glances as hands strayed and mouths wandered. One couple got up, took their young children firmly by the hand and left a nearby table with a scathing comment. Reese’s cousin looked after them and Celia was slightly shocked when he laughed. He had to be close to Reese’s age and yet he was acting like a hormone-driven teenage boy.

  Reese was shaking his head. “Derrick’s point of view has always been a little off kilter.”

  “Off kilter? Like how, exactly?”

  Reese shrugged. “He had what I can only call a mean streak. We all learned not to tell him about things that mattered to us or he’d ruin them and laugh about it. In fact,” he said as he looked again at the couple, “I could almost swear that woman with him is Racine Madison. She was his brother’s girlfriend all through high school. I can see Derrick wanting her just because she was Daniel’s once upon a time.”

  “She’s not Racine Madison anymore,” Celia informed him. “Her last name is Harrow now, and she’s married to the junior senator from New York.”

  Reese’s eyebrows rose and he whistled. “Derrick hasn’t changed, then. He’s just graduated from coveting other guys’ girlfriends to having affairs with other men’s wives.” His face wore an expression of resignation. “Amazing. I’m gone all these years and I come home to find at least one thing completely unchanged.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Derrick has a twin, Daniel, who’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet. He’s also good-looking, smart, popular and excellent at sports. Derrick, I think, spent most of his childhood feeling like he ran a poor second. He was always trying to get attention any way he could. The older he got, the more obnoxious he got.” He shook his head. “His brother and his sisters are great people, so it can’t have been his upbringing. He certainly wasn’t lacking for money, he’s decent-looking enough, and he’s got more smarts than most of the rest of us put together. And yet he spent our growing-up years looking for ways to cause trouble.”

  “Some people are just like that,” she said. “There may not be a reason, except for one that didn’t really exist outside his own imagination.”

  Reese nodded and she saw a touch of sadness in his eyes. “I think he never believed that anyone could accept him for who he was.”

  “Would you like to go speak to him?” After all, this was a member of Reese’s family whom he hadn’t seen in years, albeit not his favorite one.

  “No,” he said decisively. “This sounds harsh, but Derrick is probably the one person I haven’t missed. Today is our day. Come on.” He reached for her hand and threaded her fingers through his, tugging her along the wharf in the opposite direction.

  Celia followed automatically, awash in the sensations and feelings produced by the simple clasp of their hands. He’d held her hand just like this years ago. In fact, they’d rarely walked anywhere that he hadn’t been touching her in some small way. It had made her feel safe and secure, half of a whole. It was only now that she realized how incomplete her life had been after he left. No wonder she’d walked around in a fog. He’d been her anchor, her strength, her reason to get up in the morning.

  And then he’d left. For a while she’d been too depressed to care about anything. But gradually she’d realized that life would go on and, if she was going to survive, that she’d better depend on herself rather than soak up some man�
�s reflected strength.

  And she had. Even when she’d married Milo, she’d never let him mean as much to her as Reese once had. Tears stung her eyes as a whole new barrage of guilt assaulted her. She hadn’t been as good a wife as she knew she could have been, because she’d been so determined to protect her heart that she’d never let Milo beyond a certain point. Telling herself that he’d never known anything was wrong was little consolation.

  She tugged at the grip of Reese’s hand, trying to slide her fingers free. But Reese only tightened his grip. “What’s the matter?”

  “I don’t want the whole Cape buzzing about me holding a strange man’s hand,” she said. “Could you please let go?”

  But he ignored her. “Don’t you like it?”

  Well. She couldn’t say no, because she did, far too much. But she couldn’t say yes or he’d be smug for the rest of the day. Besides, admitting it would give him far too much power over her. “That’s beside the point.”

  “So you do like it. Good. So do I.” He lifted their joined hands and brushed a kiss across her knuckles. “I never let myself think about how much I missed you until I saw you again.”

  She closed her eyes against the serious intensity of his. It just didn’t seem fair, somehow, that he could desert her for so long, and yet the moment he showed up, her body and her emotions were more than ready to take a flying leap back into the middle of a relationship with him. This was only the third day since he’d returned, and already she felt as if they were a couple again.

  He still had her hand enclosed in his, and she suspected that arguing with him about it would only be a waste of time. Reese had an instinct for distracting her and he made her arguments seem silly and inconsequential. She might as well save her energy.

  Besides, if she were completely honest, she was enjoying every second of the day.

  Better not enjoy it too much. He’ll leave again and you’ll fall flat on your face just like the last time. It was good to remind herself of that. No matter how much she enjoyed his attention and his caresses, he’d be leaving. So whatever she did with him, she had to keep in mind that it was just a temporary thing.