Frozen Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  Somehow by the time the three of us make it halfway up the staircase, Sue finds her inner strength. I knew she had it in her. She yells, “Would you stop pacing?! Just tell me we’re going to be all right. Tell me you’re not going to bail on me now that I’m having a baby. I’m scared shitless, but it would help to know I’m not doing this alone. Talk to me!”

  Dave stops abruptly, clearly not expecting Sue’s outburst. He comes over and grabs her hands in his. “I have no idea how to be a father. You know me. I’m the most immature pig there is, but somehow, someone’s drunken night is going to make a man out of me after all.” Leaning around Sue, he gives me a wink before turning back and kissing her forehead.

  They continue talking. Well, Dave talks, and Sue cries. Her hormones are already running rampant. Once we know the situation is under control, we excuse ourselves to head back to the yard for the Twister tournament because Sue and Dave really need time alone.

  As we walk back into the yard, we notice everyone going about their ways as if nothing happened. I see Josh at the fire pit, wearing a glum expression. Leaning over, Jeremy tells me he will be back in a bit; he needs to talk to Josh alone for a second. I push him away as I make my way to the table with the delicious looking fruit arrangement. I’m pretty sure someone will notice if I take the whole thing, but picking pieces off one by one is a little less obvious.

  A few minutes later, I hear Courtney yell my name. “Get over here, Emily! I need my partner for Twister.” I know of the game, but I have never played. How hard can it be? Courtney draws the team we are going up against and spins the wheel, while I pose on the colored circles. I remove my heels and make my way over to the circles. Left foot yellow. Right foot blue. Right hand green. That one is a little harder since I have Jim to work around now. Left hand blue. Yay! I did it.

  “Are you trying to kill me, woman?” I hear from behind me.

  Glancing upside down between my legs, I see Jeremy standing behind me. “What did I do?” I mumble as my hair covers my face in this position. Oh, shit! Shooting straight up, I turn to face him. I couldn’t care less about the game right now. My Twister position and the fact my skirt is covering no less than just my underwear is why Jeremy is steaming at the moment. Just as I grab my heels from the ground, I’m lifted into the air and carried toward his apartment.

  He’s moving quickly, and there’s no time to think before he’s pushing open his door and setting me onto the floor. Aspen comes running down the hall thinking it’s playtime. “Aspen, bed,” Jeremy says sternly. What’s with him? I know it’s been a long night, but why is he upset now?

  “Jeremy, what’s going on? Are you pissed at me for some reason?”

  Grabbing a bottle of Magic Hat beer from his fridge, he pops off the top with his bottle opener before taking a long pull. “Emily, I have had just about all the self-control I can handle with you tonight. You’re lucky you’re not already naked in my bed. Do you even realize all the sexual positions you were in? Then, add that costume to it, seriously, my mind can only run so many scenarios before I act out at least one of them,” he says before making his way over to me.

  I’m not sure if he wants me to apologize or not, but before I can ask him, he’s pulling my hand down the hall toward his room. “Don’t we need to get back to the party?” I question as I stop in his room.

  Slowly making his way to me, he throws his plastic glasses onto his bureau and shoves his suspenders off his shoulders before snaking his arm around my waist. “No one is going to miss us down there. Trust me.” His lips linger over my ear as his breathing quickens. I run my hands up his shirt before deliberately taking my time unbuttoning it. Jeremy’s lips run along my neck until he pulls back and looks me in the eyes. “Babe, I’ve had so many naughty thoughts tonight about what I can do to you, but I’m not sure what you’re comfortable with. I don’t want to scare you away. I kind of like having you around.”

  “Naughty, huh? Care to elaborate?” I ask, slowly placing kisses all around his chest and abs.

  He releases a hissed breath as his arousal shows in his extremely tight pants. “All in due time, but given the events of the evening, I’d really just like to make love to you and have your extremely gorgeous and sexy body naked in my bed, if that’s okay with you?”

  Turning my back, while lifting my curled hair, I say over my shoulder, “Once you unzip this dress, you can do whatever you want with me. Drink me. Eat me. Spank me. Fuck me. I don’t care, just so long as you end up in me.”

  After our anatomy lesson in my bed, Emily drifts off to sleep. When she gave me the go ahead for spanking, I’m pretty sure my dick said, “Fuck you! I’m taking over from here,” since my mind literally stopped working. I have absolutely no coherent thoughts about what went on the past hour. I recall Emily screaming my name no less than four times, thank you very much. I know there was spanking, and I think my dick was in her mouth, while her hands were tied behind her back. Once I shot my load into her mouth, I watched tears form in her eyes as she swallowed every drop, and everything else after that took a backseat. Don’t get me wrong. I love standard sex with Emily, but she took this to a whole new level. It still blows my mind to think she was a virgin only two months ago. Where the hell did she learn that shit?

  As Emily stirs in the bed next to me, I mute the TV I turned on a little while ago because I couldn’t sleep and had no interest in the rest of the party. Josh agreed to pick up my half of the cleanup duties after I talked to him. When he saw Emily’s ass end in the air during Twister, he told me to get the fuck over there and handle that shit. I’d say I handled it quite well.

  My mind has been bouncing back and forth between Sue’s pregnancy news and Josh’s confession that he is the biggest fucking idiot in the world. He thought he was doing what was best for her all those years ago by not dragging her through his career choice. When Sue announced she was pregnant with Dave’s baby, he knew he missed his chance and it was time for him to move on. He said if you let something go for too long, you end up missing your only shot at happiness. Right now, I know my happiness is next to me, snoring no less, but I love her and refuse to let her go again.

  Rolling over and running my hand under the sheet covering her naked body, I snake way around her waist. That is all it takes to wake her up. She moans as she pushes her ass into me, while pulling her arm back to run her hand over my neck. I take the opportunity to gently kiss her head.

  “I love you,” I whisper as I rest my chin on the top of her head. I need to tell her just how much. I know we’ll be heading toward more time apart over the next couple of months, and I need to make sure we don’t have another separation like last time. “Babe? You know how much I love you, right?”

  She nods and rolls onto her other side to face me. “Jeremy, what’s going on?” she asks, confused where the conversation is going. I’m not even sure where this is going, but this is about to get serious, and I don’t know why I’m about to do this. But, here goes nothing.

  “Where do you see yourself in the next five years? I mean, what do you see for your future? Outside of the figure skating career and everything, what do you want?”

  “Why would you ask that? You know I’ve never given it much thought. I’m just starting to live my life and figuring out things for myself. Five years down the road, it’s still fuzzy for me. Where do you see yourself?”

  What I’m about to say should just about ruin the night, but it needs to be said. If neither of us is on the same page, this will end in catastrophe. Sighing, I respond, “In five years, if I’m not still skating for the AHL, I’m probably going to be married, and hopefully, have at least one child already. I need to figure out how to manage a decent salary if I’m not skating, so that’s another item for my list, but I want a family of my own. I know that without any doubt. I need you to know, this thing between you and me, I want it long-term.”

  “Jeremy, there has never been any doubt in my mind that we care deeply for each other, but how can you be
so sure about me, about us, long-term?”

  Reaching up to caress her face in my hand, I run my thumb over her cheek. “You make me happier than I’ve ever known. You have no problem being yourself around my family. Your smile is so infectious, that every time I see it disappear, I think of nothing other than finding a way to bring it back. I know this, right here, right now. I know I want to wake up to you next to me. Not just tomorrow, not just five years from now, but fifty years from now, I still want to see your smile and hear your laugh. I want to see how beautiful you’ll look carrying our baby and proving just how loving and supportive you are as a mom. I know it’s scary to think about all of that when you’ve never had the opportunity before. I’m not even saying you need to decide right now if that’s the future you want. I need you to know that I’m seriously in love with you. If and when you finally see what your future holds for you, I hope to God I’m in that picture.”

  I kiss her as warm salty tears fall over her lips as she chokes back sobs. No words are exchanged between us as I roll her back so I’m looking down into her eyes and she is staring back at me. The only sound we hear in the room is music reverberating from the backyard. The slow ballad “All of Me” flows through the room. Both of us are following our hearts. She may not be able to see what her future holds for her, but right here, right now, we’re happy and in love. Wrapping her legs around my waist, I kiss her like she’s my last breath. Slowly, I push my erection inside her, feeling her walls collapse around me with each thrust. Her back arches off the bed, and her hands grip the sheets at her side as I still just before coming inside her, moaning her name as my racing heart settles. While I look back into her eyes, it’s her words that take my breath away.

  “You’re my everything. You’re my yesterday, today, and my tomorrow. No matter where we are five years from now, you’re a part of my heart, Jeremy Page.”

  We both fall asleep in each other’s arm shortly after that, leaving us to our dreams.

  Training. That’s all I’ve done since I left Jeremy’s the morning after his party. Since he’s asked me where I see myself in five years, I can’t stop wondering what that life looks like. However, my time to think about that is at a minimum. I have other things on my agenda, like my season of vengeance. I’ve avoided my mother almost completely, except for a few emails and text messages regarding my schedule. I’m training everyday during the week in Boston, and it doesn’t give me a lot of time to spend with Jeremy on weekends, since he usually has games. When you add in his promotional events during the week, he has even less time than I do.

  In two days, I’ll be on a plane heading to Paris for the final competition in my Grand Prix circuit. I was supposed to see Jeremy before I left, but he’s currently filling in for another teammate delivering pizzas for one of the team sponsors. So, for now, I’m spending the night with Courtney and Sue watching Sons of Anarchy episodes from the past few weeks. That Charlie Hunnam is one gorgeous bad boy whose bike I’d gladly ride on the back of. I’m pretty sure I caught Sue licking the TV screen at one point. Her hormones are all over the place with the pregnancy. She might be laughing right now, but a half hour ago we needed Grace’s assistance while she had a crying fit. Courtney and I had no idea what was going on. I’m glad she has her first appointment with her doctor in the morning.

  After Grace helped us console Sue, she went back upstairs to make dinner for us. She said she’d make it healthy for not only me, but also for Babykins. Grace caught Sue pigging out on hot dogs, sour cream and onion chips, and orange juice the other day. Safe to say, she was not thrilled with the cravings. I’ve witnessed Sue’s food consumption and nearly threw up.

  A short time later, we are all upstairs in the dining room eating grilled chicken with a pineapple-mango salsa and Caribbean rice. Nothing is over the top in this house. Simple works for everyone, and I love everything about it.

  Jeremy finally returns and finds us in the kitchen helping clean up as Grace and Travis go on to bed. I am standing over the sink, scrubbing the area down when I feel his hands wrap around my waist behind me. “I’ve missed you this week,” he says against the back of my neck.

  “I’ve missed you, too,” I say, turning in his arms before placing a more than affectionate kiss on his lips. Courtney looks our way, catching us in the middle of Jeremy fondling places he probably shouldn’t be in his parents’ house.

  “Oh my God! Would you two go do that in your own place? I mean, hello, family here!” Courtney mutters as she walks toward the bathroom. Both of us laugh, and once the kitchen is clean enough, we head back to the garage apartment.

  Once at Jeremy’s place, I grab a water bottle from the fridge and head to sit on the sofa. He pulls my legs over his thighs as he sits next to me. “I probably won’t see you again before you leave for Paris, so I want to make sure that this time apart will not be spent like the last.” He eyes me with a flat look.

  “Well, unless you have another one of your harems visiting tonight, I think we ought to be good.” I laugh at my attempt to lighten the mood.

  “Not funny,” he cautions with a stern face.

  “Sorry,” I say as I play with my hair nervously.

  Jeremy and I go over our schedules for the next week. He has practice and two more home games over the weekend. As usual, I have routine practices once I arrive in Paris, followed by my short and long program. We determine it will be best not to contact each other outside of a quick email or text. Focus is key this week. I need this win to secure myself the top-ranking position in US Figure Skating.

  His Monarchs season is going really well. From what he tells me, they have the most points in the Eastern League, and Jeremy has been named the AHL defensive player of the week this week. I’m really trying to learn his sport the best I can. I am picking up a few things here and there, but when your main focus is participating in the Olympics, there are a lot of things that get lost in the shuffle.

  We say our goodbyes as if we are not going to see each other for a very long time. “It’s only five days, Emily. By the time you’re in Paris, you’ll already be ready to head home. When you return, we’ll have a few of my games left before Christmas break, and then we can spend as much time as possible together before Nationals. Sound good?”

  I had almost forgotten amidst the training, family, and baby drama that I am expected to attend the annual Cameron holiday party in a few weeks. It typically includes my parents’ business associates, which ultimately means that their investment needs to make an appearance. I know Jeremy still has some major issues surrounding my parents’ trustworthiness, but I can’t not ask him to go with me.

  “Hey, um, before I forget.” I slide my hands over his waist as I stand in the doorway. “My parents’ annual holiday party is on December 14th. As much as I’d like to avoid going, I really don’t have a choice. I know you don’t have a game that night, so it would be nice to have someone there who’s on my side for once. You don’t have to, though. I know how you feel about my parents.”

  “Emily, if you want me there, I’ll be there. I’ll put aside my issues for the night and keep my comments to myself,” he stresses. “I know how difficult it is for you to deal with the pressure you are currently under with the Nationals in Boston and Olympics coming up. If I can help ease the tension for just one night, then I’ve done my job as your boyfriend.” He leans in to give me a kiss on the forehead. “Now, go to Paris and kick some Parisian ass for me. We’ll be here when you get back.” He points to his crotch area.

  Playing the dense card, I reply, “We? Aww, you mean you and Aspen are going to miss me? That’s soooo cute!” I then make my way toward the stairs to head out.

  “That smart mouth of yours is going to get you in trouble, Miss Cameron.”

  Turning, I see him leaning on the doorframe at the top of the stairs. “I can only hope my mouth gets into something, Mr. Page. I love you.”

  He lets out a full-bellied laugh at my dirty response. “Love you too, babe. I’ll see
you in a few days.”

  When I open the door to my car, snowflakes begin to fall, a sure sign that winter is approaching. Pretty soon everything will be blanketed in white. Once in my car, I start it, allowing it to warm up a bit before driving off. My phone dings in my purse, alerting me of a text message. A smile forms on my face as I read it’s from Jeremy.

  We miss you already. “Hands Down” <3 U –J

  I open Spotify to listen to the song before leaving. While the music is playing over my speakers, I look up to Jeremy’s living room windows to see him staring back at me. Blowing steam onto his windowpane, he draws a heart in the fogged glass with his finger. Then, because he’s not cheesy enough, he leans his entire chest onto the glass with his arms out to the side yelling, “Don’t go, Emily!” Aspen hops up in excitement behind him, not knowing what to make of it all. Laughing so hard with tears clouding my eyes, I send him a text.

  See you in five days. Until then “I Touch Myself” <3 U –E

  As I’m pulling out of the driveway, I notice Jeremy checking my text on his phone. His mouth drops open, and he shakes his head in disbelief. He types something on his phone, and within seconds, my phone signals me of another text.

  You are an evil woman. It’s a good thing I love you.<3 U –J

  I’m really not sure why I told Emily that sending a random email here and there for the next five days was going to cut it. I’ve received maybe two emails from her so far. One saying she made it to Paris and that her mother is still alive, unfortunately, and the other telling me she won gold, barely. I might have sent her at least two emails a day. To my defense, it is the beginning of the week, and all I have going on are morning skates until Thursday when our usual weekend games take place.