Frozen Barriers

by Sara Shirley

  During one of our talks on the phone, he said he understood how traumatized I was that night at the hospital and how we both said things we probably didn’t mean. Although I knew I needed to figure out things in my life, I also knew that didn’t mean I had to throw away my relationship with him. His simple text messages would always make me smile, even when I knew there wasn’t much he could have done during my recovery, and I always had my girls by my side to make my days just a little better, too.

  Six months ago, if someone had told me this was where my life would be now, I probably wouldn’t have believed them. I would have never predicted in a million years that my parents would be getting divorced, selling the house and Daddy’s company, and removing themselves from my life. Nor would I have believed that I’d gain a new family of seven, well, eight if you include Aspen, who shows me more love in one day than I have ever experienced in twenty-two years of my life. Sometimes, I need to pinch myself just to believe this is my reality and that I’m not in a dream anymore.

  I’m removed from my thoughts when I hear Jeremy groan behind me. “Woman, shut those blinds. It’s way too early to be getting up, especially when I don’t have a morning skate today.”

  Smacking him on the arm, I say, “I would, but someone thought it would be funny to confine me to the bed, so he threw my walking boot across the room last night. If you would be so kind as to fetch it, I really have to pee.”

  Throwing back the covers, Jeremy pads over to the boot and brings it back to me. “Need any help?” He yawns through his question.

  “Nah, I’ve become a pro at this,” I say as I place the boot on and wobble to the bathroom, but not before turning up the heat on the thermostat in the hall. Looking out the front window, I notice a few inches of snow fell again last night. Shivering and wrapping my arms around my body, I feel a cold chill run up my spine as thoughts of the accident enter my mind again. Squeezing my eyes shut to ward off the memories, I feel unexpected hands come around my waist, and I startle.

  “Jesus, Emily. It’s me, babe,” Jeremy says as he runs his hands over my arms, and I rub my face with my hands.

  “I’m fine, really. It’s just a flashback. We do have to talk today, though. Do you mind starting the coffee for me? I don’t know what’s in the fridge for food. Courtney usually gets whatever, but I’m trying not to eat any of it. My ba-dunka-dunk could shed a few inches.”

  “Babe, did you really just say the word ‘ba-dunka-dunk’?” he questions as he moves about in the kitchen.

  “Might I remind you that you did leave me with Dave to cover ‘Emily Watch Third Shift’on certain days?” I playfully tease as I head to the bathroom.

  When I come back into the kitchen, Jeremy already has the coffee brewing and is standing in front of the open fridge staring inside. He pulls a carton from the shelf as I sit at the kitchen table and watch. Aspen paws over to rest his head on my leg. The fridge door shuts, and Jeremy stands there perplexed.

  “Babe, I don’t even want to know, but this carton does say EggBeaters on it, so I’m going to assume there is some kind of egg in it. However, why is it liquid?” he asks as he heats up the skillet and begins cooking us something to eat.

  Once he’s finished making the healthier version of eggs and toast, he brings the coffee over to me and sits at the table. After a few sips of coffee and a couple of bites of toast, I feel as though I can tell him where I am with everything. Placing my mug gently onto the table, I stare up into his eyes. He leans back with his arm resting over the back of the chair while bringing his foot up to rest on his knee. “Tell me what you need to tell me, Emily,” he says, resting his coffee mug on the table.

  I take a deep breath before saying what I need to tell him. “After the accident and after you left, I wasn’t in a good place. I couldn’t process what had just happened. One minute I had the world in my hands. I was finally going to the Olympics. I was finally doing something for me, and I owed it all to you. You made me realize something you love was worth fighting for. That night on the ice in Boston, it finally hit me that I really did love skating. It took standing up to my parents to figure that out.” Jeremy brings his chair closer to mine, reaching out to grab my hands in his. I continue my confession, “Then, in a flash it was all gone. I didn’t have the Olympics. I didn’t have skating, and my own parents left me once they saw I wasn’t able to make them all the money and notoriety I used to. What hurt the most was that I didn’t have you after that night either. It was all gone. I can’t blame you for leaving. You had to do it, and I had to tell myself it was the right decision not to ask you to stay with me. It took a long time for me to see what I needed to do and where I wanted to go in life. I called Suzy one day, and I met with some of the board members at the Boston Skating Club last week. Once I finally get this boot off, I’ll be one of the newest members of the children’s skating program at the club. I’ll be teaching a few days a week and will be able to provide private lessons once all the paperwork is in order.” I look up at him to see if I can tell what he’s thinking or feeling about everything I just told him.

  “Babe, I’m so happy for you! I couldn’t be more proud that you finally worked out everything, and you’re going to be doing what you love. Being away from you made me realize how much all of this,” he throws out his hand, pointing around the room before continuing, “means to me and how much I missed everyone. The NHL career, it’s not what I want for my future. I love making my average salary with the Monarchs. I want to be with my family and friends. I don’t need the big life to be happy. I may have back in college, but that all changed over time. It became a definite the minute you walked back into my life. We’ve spent more time apart than together, and once I get back to the Monarchs, I’m going to make sure I’m here for good. If that can’t happen, then I’ll find something else to do. All I know is I’m not leaving you ever again. I love you more than any career. It’s you and me and Aspen for good now. Do you think you can handle that?” Jeremy asks as he starts to stand.

  Holding back happy tears, I nod and tell him, “I think I can handle you.”

  Grabbing me out of my seat and into his arms, he begins walking toward the bedroom. He gives me a kiss on my cheek before his naughty side comes out to play. “Good, because I’ve got something that you can handle right now, and it’s in desperate need of being inside you.” He winks at me as he places me onto the bed.

  I sigh at him as though I’m uninterested. “Oh, I suppose. Besides, Gigi’s batteries are completely worn out.”

  “You ‘suppose’? Dear God, I really have been gone way too long, especially if Gigi isn’t fully charged. I need to fix this right now.” He laughs as he strips off his boxers and takes off my clothes slowly until we are both naked. I watch as he tries to make up for the last six weeks. My heart is finally whole again, and I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time.

  Jeremy places kisses along my neck, and I’m instantly aroused. Gigi has superpowers, but nothing compares to actually having Jeremy work his magic. His hand slinks its way between my legs until his thumb circles my throbbing bud and two fingers push inside me. I gasp in pleasure as he sucks on my nipples, arousing all my desires. My hands clutch his shaggy hair, and I pull his mouth to mine. His hands are now feverishly running themselves over my waist and legs as I try to catch my breath in between kisses.

  “Emily, I need to be inside you soon, or this is going to get real interesting.”

  Reaching my hand around his cock, I pull him toward my entrance. “Jeremy, if you don’t stick your cock in me soon, I’m going to take over control of this situation.”

  “There’s my little minx. Glad to see she came out to play this morning.” He gives me a devilish grin before he pushes himself deep inside me. Whatever nervousness I felt last night was just tossed out the window. Jeremy slowly moves in and out as I lift my hips. I feel him throbbing inside me as we stare into each other’s eyes. Feeling bold again, I reach down and begin pleasing myself as Jeremy watches
with his cock still buried in me. “Babe, that’s so hot,” he says before he speeds up his pace. My finger continues to speed up as well, until I’m on the edge of coming.

  “I’m close,” I say as I look into his eyes and then with one last hard thrust, we’re both coming and everything we thought we lost in six weeks has all come back to us in this moment.

  Pulling his head back from my chest, he looks me in the eyes, saying, “I love you so much, Emily.”

  “I love you too, Jeremy.” I smile back at him.

  A few weeks have passed since I’ve returned home, and things with Emily have been wonderful. She and I are closer than ever before. However, due to some scheduling issues with the Monarchs games, we have to celebrate Emily’s birthday at the end of March, instead of her actual birthday on St. Patrick’s Day. Mom says it’s fate that brought us together because how could two people actually be together and have holiday birthdays is just unheard of.

  Emily has been able to remove the boot on her foot and is rehabbing it every day. The doctor says she might be able to put it in a skate boot by June. She just isn’t going to be landing any triples anytime soon. When the doctor told her that news, you’d think he’d just handed her the moon. She was absolutely ecstatic. It’s funny how her feelings about skating changed once she realized the pressure of winning and competing was no longer on her shoulders.

  She still can’t drive a car, but that doesn’t matter. Today, I’m taking her out for her belated birthday, and she has absolutely no idea what I have planned. We drive around the city until we arrive at our destination. Looking at me with a raised eyebrow, she asks, “Jeremy, what are we doing here?”

  I smile as I hop out of the truck and head around to help her out since she still can’t chance putting too much weight on her ankle.

  Walking into the building, I make my way over to the front desk where a woman with three lip piercings and two arm-sleeved tattoos stops to talk to us. “Can I help you guys?” she asks.

  “Yeah, I need to see about getting a tattoo today,” I answer, turning to wink at Emily as her mouth hangs wide open in shock. The woman hands me some paperwork to fill out, and I hand it back to her after explaining what I want to have done.

  “Jeremy, what are you doing? You know you don’t have to do this,” Emily says as if she is going to talk me out of this.

  I face her and grab both of her hands in mine. “Babe, I told you. It’s you and me, always. And, what kind of man can go around knowing his girlfriend has her crotch tattooed, and not have one himself?”

  “It’s your body, but what do I know?” She chuckles.

  Almost two hours later, after sitting through the monotonous buzzing sound of the tattoo gun, my tattoo for Emily is complete. I stand to put on my shirt as Emily gently traces her fingers over the words sketched above my left pectoral for her to see whenever we’re together. “Live your dreams. Follow your heart.” She’ll always know it’s for her, and she knows I’m permanent now.

  Little does she know I’ve got another surprise up my sleeve, but this one the whole family can enjoy together. After we leave the tattoo parlor, we meet everyone for lunch at a small Irish pub just outside of Tewksbury. Everyone is seated at the round booth at the back of the restaurant already waiting for us.

  Before she can push herself up off the seat, Emily rushes over to give Sue a hug. Dave won’t let her go out as much as she wants to now, and it’s been a few weeks since we’ve seen her. Her latest doctor appointment showed she might be on bed rest earlier than she expected. That news made my gift to Emily all the trickier, but Dave and Sue were totally behind it either way.

  Emily gives Josh and Courtney hugs as well before sitting next to my parents. We haven’t seen Josh in a while. He says he’s been working a lot; however, there’s something different about him when I talk to him on the phone. It’s almost as if the night of the accident something changed in him. Mom even asked me if I noticed a few weeks ago. If she couldn’t get any information out of him, I sure as hell wasn’t going to succeed.

  After we order our meals and drinks, everyone begins giving Emily her birthday gifts. When the gifts are piled onto the table in front of her, it looks as if she is going to cry. I still tend to forget this whole family situation is relatively new to her and she never had the amount of love and support until recently.

  In the beginning, I thought for sure Mom and Dad’s gift was going to upstage mine. When Emily opens the jewelry box and sees a silver charm bracelet, she is lost for words. It has a hockey and figure skater pendant and two round sterling silver discs with our initials and birthstones. Pulling it from the box, she hands it to me as she reaches her arm out for me to put it on immediately.

  When she thinks she is done opening gifts, she begins squishing the wrapping paper together. The whole table is silent as they wait for me to give her the last gift. Removing the envelope from my back pocket, I slide it over in front of her on the table. Eyeing me suspiciously, she slowly opens it, pulling out the documents. Her hand flies up to cover her mouth before she turns to me. “Jeremy, this is too much, really, and what about Sue and Dave? The baby is due any week.”

  Sue leans over toward Emily. “Sweetie, we’re okay with it. Jeremy already asked before he made the decision, and this little girl isn’t coming anytime soon. You’ll be good to go. You deserve it after everything you’ve been through.”

  Mom wraps her arm around Emily’s shoulder. “We’ve all pitched in to go down. It’s been a very long time since we’ve gone anywhere as a family, and to be honest, I’ve always wanted to visit Savannah.”

  Emily is still thumbing through the papers. “Jeremy, what about the Calder Cup? You can’t leave during the end of the season.”

  Grabbing her hand to stop her from fidgeting nervously, I reply, “Emily, it’s all set. It’s all worked around the hockey games and practice. It’s time to have fun and relax in life. We’re finally back to a good place, and I want all of us to enjoy this time together. What do you say?” When I see her glance up at Mom and then smile back at me, I know I’ve sold her.

  Emily thumbs through the papers one last time while biting her nail. Placing the documents onto the table, she stands to walk over to my side. “I guess we’re going to Savannah in May.” Everyone starts clapping and sighing in relief as I stand to give Emily a kiss.

  “Get a room,” Dave groans.

  “Happy Birthday, Emily!” we all chant.

  She runs her hands over my chin. “The trip and the tattoo are an added bonus. I was happy just having you in my life. Thank you.”

  April blows by in a flash of the eye. I have just about finished my rehab for my arm and my ankle. The doctors have said I can basically continue my daily therapy at home. I’m also happy to be able to drive again. The initial movement has been awkward, but they say it will be a strange feeling until the muscles and tendons strengthen back to normal. I miss my Audi, but I’m the new owner of a fabulous white Ford Escape with four-wheel drive.

  Jeremy’s Monarchs season has finished, and the Calder Cup Playoffs are set to begin after we return from Savannah. The team led in points in the Eastern Conference this year, and they are the favorite to win the East. Jeremy alone had a great season, scoring fifteen points and ten penalty minutes. I still don’t know what half of these terms mean, but between Travis and him, I should learn quickly during the Calder Cup. Jeremy’s contract will be up at the end of the postseason, and he hasn’t said if he’ll be returning to the Monarchs. He did say he’s keeping his options open in case another opportunity arises.

  After everything Jeremy and I have gone through since we started dating last summer, we are surprisingly in a very good place now. The final two therapy sessions I attended for my post-accident depression, Jeremy came with me. The doctor was extremely optimistic about Jeremy’s interest in helping me channel my thoughts to a better place and ensuring that the two of us would continue to talk through our issues.

  Everything is moving
in a better direction. I still can’t put on my skates, but I have been able to assist on the coaching staff at Boston Skating Club, allowing me to earn my own paycheck each week. I haven’t heard from my parents, not that I’m upset over that. However, one of Daddy’s lawyers did call me before the sale of the company went through. I guess there was some misappropriation of funds between my father and my old sponsors, and I was owed nearly two hundred thousand dollars in past wages. Well, thank you, Daddy!

  Jeremy has rented a beach cottage just outside of Savannah for the long weekend. As all of us pack into the SUV to drive there, I can’t help but roll down the windows and let the warm breeze flow around me. The winter in Boston was absolutely brutal this year. Seventy degrees is delightful and refreshing.

  As we approach the island, colorful houses appear at every corner. We finally find our cottage and pull into the driveway. It is a small two-level house with crazy knickknacks all over the outside, and for some strange reason, all the cottages here have a shower outside of the house. It’s cute and quirky. Jeremy carries my bags through the house after we find the hide-a-key. Courtney is busy taking pictures of everything outside, and Josh is standing in the front screen porch on his phone talking to someone.

  Grace comes in with the few bags of drinks and food we picked up on the way in. Travis helps put everything away with her as I admire the interior design. There are white walls, white furniture, and colorful beach décor everywhere I look. A large wooden spiral staircase leads up to a second floor where Jeremy has gone.