by Ashley Blake
He handed us our drinks and I motioned to the girls. “These are our friends Tori and Stephanie.”
“Nice to meet you, ladies. Is this going to be a late night for you girls?”
I had forgotten how good-looking Logan was.
Claire was all smiles as she answered him.
“No, we have a show tomorrow so we just decided to come out for a little bit.”
“Abby, we still on for tomorrow night?” Zane came back to our side of the bar and held my gaze, his voice firm.
I hesitated but didn’t want to cause a scene, so I just agreed. “Of course.”
“Good. We’re getting slammed so I’ll give you a call tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay.” I decided that I would ask him more about the girl the next night.
Logan said basically the same thing to Claire and we all went to a different part of the bar and let other people in so they could order their drinks.
Claire and I sipped our sparkling water and we chatted with Tori and Stephanie for a little while longer. When we left the bar we promised those guys we would ask Zane and Logan about their single friends.
Claire wanted to talk about the girl at the bar but I wasn’t in the mood. I was so exhausted I told her I would tell her later. I literally crawled into bed a minute later and stared at the ceiling wondering if I could really trust Zane. The whole fans-hanging-around-all-the-time was annoying and I had to decide if I would really be able to deal with it.
Zane called me the next afternoon and left a message telling me he had to work at the last minute so he would have to cancel. He sounded kind of cold in his message and he didn’t ask to reschedule so, of course, my paranoia set in. Was he going to break up with me?
We talked a couple of times during the week but I didn’t get a chance to see Zane until dinner the night before he was leaving on tour. I was so happy when we had our final show, which was a matinee, because I knew that it would then be my time to practice my butt off and really go for the lead in The Nutcracker.
Zane and I walked into his place after dinner and I plopped down on the couch, totally stuffed.
“So are you guys ready for the tour?”
“Yeah, we’re pretty stoked. A couple of reps are supposed to come out to see us so hopefully it turns into something.”
“I hope so too.”
‘What about you? You’ll be practicing non-stop, right? I know you can get the lead this time, Abby.”
“Yep, that’s the plan.”
“I’ll call you whenever I can but I’ll be back before you know it.”
I smiled at him. “I know, the time will fly by. I’m really happy that I have practicing for this new production to focus on while you’re away because it will keep me distracted and help me get through these next few weeks without you.”
Zane sat next to me on the couch and was silent for a minute as his eyes searched mine. "Abby, I need to talk to you about something.”
I could hear that there was something different in his voice so he immediately had my attention.
“Okay.”
“Why did you have that reaction last week when you saw me talking with another girl?”
My eyes searched his and I suddenly felt like I had done something wrong.
“You two looked very cozy and, honestly Zane, she was whispering in your ear a few too many times. I know you told me that she was just a fan, but it’s so obvious that she wanted to be more than a fan.”
"But I told you that nothing was going on. If this is going to go anywhere we are going to have to be able to trust each other. I don’t do well with jealousy, Abby. I have fans who get excited when they see me and I’m not going to just ignore them, that would be shooting ourselves in the foot. The fans are the reason we can make a living doing what we do.”
I let out a deep sigh and looked at him. “Do you have to let them hang all over you?”
He looked annoyed but I didn’t care. I didn’t like seeing girls falling all over him.
"They don't hang all over me, they want to talk to me and I listen, that's it. Do you think it's something that you can deal with? Because this is the way my life is right now, Abby, it’s not going to change anytime soon.”
I let his words sink in and I knew that I would just have to deal with it, because I wasn’t ready to have things end between us.
I looked at him and nodded and smiled, even though it didn’t reach my eyes.
“Yes, I can handle it.”
His shoulders seemed to relax and he smiled at me.
“Good, because I really like you, Abby. I want to see where this can go.”
Those were the perfect words to say to me as the butterflies fluttered around inside. I felt like everything was all better between us.
I slept over at Zane’s that night and it was really nice because all we did was hold each other all night long. As I lay there with his arms around me, in complete bliss, I kept thinking how I didn’t ever want that feeling to end.
The next few weeks I hardly saw Claire for two reasons: one, she was spending more time with Adam, the guy she was dating when we went to Mexico, and two: I was always practicing. We planned dinner one night during our hectic schedules so that we could have some quality sister time and catch up. I didn’t want to pry about Adam, but I was curious why she was seeing him again, especially since she was supposedly so in love with Logan. I decided that I would casually ask her as we were making dinner together.
She was preparing the chicken as I made the salad.
“So, how have you been doing since Zane has been gone?”
“It’s been okay because I’ve been keeping myself busy.”
She looked over at me. “I know! I haven’t seen you in days, Abby. I feel like you’re avoiding me.”
My sister was definitely the more sensitive of the two of us.
"I'm not avoiding you, Claire. I just really need to keep myself busy so that I'm not crying in my pillow every night over the fact that I can’t see Zane for a few more weeks. Also, I’m really trying hard to get the lead this time. What you said to me about being naturally talented, and the talks that Zane and I have had have really made me want to work harder, so that’s what I’ve been doing.”
"I meant it when I said that, Abby. I know that you can do it if you just put in the time. So I really hope this pays off for you because you deserve it.”
That really made me feel good so I went over to her and gave her a quick hug.
“Thanks for saying that.”
“You’re welcome.”
I went back over to chopping the cucumbers and decided it was a good time to ask her about Adam and Logan.
“So I’ve noticed that Adam has been hanging around again. Do you want to share anything?”
She hesitated and then turned around and looked at me.
"The more time I spent with Logan, the more I realized how one-sided our relationship was. I was way more into him than he was into me and I swear, for a while there, I couldn’t even see straight when it came to him. But, thankfully, I was able to get some clarity when I realized that he had done some research on our family, and he was asking a lot of really odd questions.”
That instantly worried me. “Oh really? Like what?”
"He asked how much mom and dad paid for the penthouse, how much our condo costs, how often we traveled as we were growing up and where we went and if we had servants all of our lives. He asked what was the most expensive car dad ever owned and if we got expensive cars for our 16th birthdays. Weird stuff. He just really seemed to be into the money and I don’t like that.”
"If we had servants all of our lives? That's a really weird question. If he took the time to get to know you he would know how normal mom and dad wanted us to be, and how much time and effort they put into making sure we had as normal a life as we could in our situation.”
We had a very privileged upbringing, yes, but our parents made sure that we understood the value of a dollar and we had
to work for everything. We weren’t typical spoiled rich kids.
"Yeah, so that really turned me off and I started avoiding his calls a little bit, and then I ran into Adam at Duane Reade and we kind of picked up where we left off.”
“So, I take it Logan doesn’t know that you are pretty much done with him, does he?”
"Not yet, but when they get back from the tour I'll talk to him and let him know this just isn't working for me. I can't believe I was acting so silly over this guy. I don’t know what my problem was.”
"I think part of it was Adam was acting kind of shady with you, and in the middle of that you meet a really hot guy who seemed like a nice guy. It could happen to anybody, Claire.”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“So, how are things with Adam?”
"Things with him are really good now. We were able to work through some issues that we were having before Mexico and our relationship is better than it ever has been, so I’m happy.”
“Good, if you’re happy then I’m happy.”
I don't know if it was that Claire was happy about things with Adam or if she was feeling more comfortable with someone like Adam over Logan. Adam came from our world and his parents knew our parents, so I think Claire felt much more comfortable with someone that she knew liked her for who she was and not what our family had. Either way, I was really happy that she was not the type and would never be the type to let anyone take advantage of her.
We enjoyed our dinner and Claire offered to critique me the next day at practice which I really appreciated. It was the first time I was open to listening to her advice and I was really looking forward to learning from her.
Chapter 6
Tryouts for the Nutcracker were the Saturday before Zane came home and I was a nervous wreck as I waited for my name to be called. Claire was so sweet to me that day. She was the first person to audition and as soon as she was done she helped me stretch and we practiced a couple of technical moves which I still had not quite mastered. As soon as my name was called I felt my legs turn to jelly but her encouraging words gave me the strength to focus, and I thought I killed it during my audition. I had one tiny slip up but I prayed that no one noticed it as I quickly recovered and kept dancing.
The roles were going to be posted later that day, so a group of us decided to go shopping to get our minds off of the results. It was the perfect thing for me to do because I loved shopping almost as much as I loved ballet. I always told myself that if the whole ballet thing didn’t work out I would have some sort of career in fashion.
After a late lunch and a little bit of shopping, we headed back over to the dance studio a few hours later to check the results. My heart was pounding as I walked toward the board and Claire was walking right beside me, her arm linked through mine. I looked at the list of names listed next to the parts and my heart fell to my toes. Once again, Claire was the lead and I was her understudy. I could feel the tears welling up but I didn’t want anyone to see me cry.
Claire hugged me and whispered in my ear. “You’ll get it next time, I know you will.”
I know that she meant well but the last thing I wanted to do was think about the next time I would have to go through another audition. I felt like I had finally decided to make changes in my life and it was all for nothing. I was in the exact same place I was the last time we started a new show and something had to change. I didn’t want to go through life always being Claire’s understudy, I knew that I could do so much more.
I took a walk outside by myself, the tears slowly rolling down my cheeks, and started to think about what I could do to make some changes in my life. I was not happy always coming in second, and something my mom once said made me literally stop in my tracks and think. When she mentioned that it was too bad that Claire and I were not in separate dance companies because then we could both have lead roles, I didn’t really give that a second thought because Claire and I had been together since we started dance as little girls. It never even occurred to me to go off and join a different dance company, but the more I thought about it as I stood there watching the cars drive by, the more I realized it might be the best thing for me.
I didn’t feel like being around anyone for the rest of the day so I went back to our condo and wallowed in my sadness. Claire came home a couple of hours later and tried to make me feel better.
“Abby, I know you put a lot of effort into this audition, and I really wish they would have picked you to be the principal ballerina for this production. What can I do to help you feel better?”
I looked at my sister and smiled at her.
“Exactly what you’re doing. I appreciate you taking the time to make sure I’m okay. I’ll be fine in a couple of days I’m sure.”
“Okay, I’ll let you get some rest and if you need me let me know.”
“Thanks.”
Claire quietly closed my door behind her and I sat on my bed staring at the wall, feeling more and more certain that it was time for me to strike out on my own and get out of my sister’s shadow. Zane was coming home the next day and I couldn’t wait to feel his arms around me, comforting me. I made a list of dance companies I might want to join and I planned to reach out to each one on Monday.
I felt like a giddy teenager the next day as I got ready to go over to Zane’s place. He had no idea I was coming so I couldn’t wait to see the look on his face when I surprised him. We’d made plans to see each other later that evening but I couldn’t wait, I missed him and I wanted to see him.
I knocked on his door around 3:30 p.m. and he flung the door open, standing there looking gorgeous as hell, with no shirt on. It took a second for me to get it together because it had been a while since I had seen him without a shirt and I had almost forgotten how sexy he was. He had a perfect six-pack and I wanted to run my fingers over his perfectly defined muscles. To say he looked surprised to see me was an understatement.
He stood there just looking at me for a full minute and it was weird because it seemed like he was trying to remember who I was. Finally he snapped out of it and he gave me a big hug.
“Abby, what are you doing here? I thought we were getting together tonight.”
Really? That was the first thing he said to me after not seeing me for five weeks?
I brushed it off and smiled at him. I told myself he must just be tired from the tour and he didn’t know what he was saying.
“We are but I couldn’t wait to see you, Zane. I missed you.”
I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a kiss and I could have sworn I felt him push me away a little. I know for sure that he pulled away from me first. What was going on?
“You surprised me, Abby. You really should have called first.”
Okay, that was weird.
“Why?”
“Because I have a few things to take care of before I see you tonight.”
I was starting to get pissed that I wasn’t receiving the welcome I was expecting. Just when I was going to ask him if everything was okay, I heard a female voice come from inside his apartment.
I looked at him and raised my eyebrows. He opened his mouth to say something and then I saw her. She was wrapped in a towel, her hair was soaking wet, and she came to the door to see who Zane was talking to.
You have got to be kidding me.
She stood next to Zane and smiled at him. “Zane, aren’t you going to introduce us?”
Was that a smug look I just saw on her face?
I was so pissed I could not see straight. I narrowed my eyes at Zane and it took everything I had not to slap him across his face as I ground out my words.
“I am so stupid.”
I quickly turned and ran down the stairs, trying to get away from him as quickly as possible. I heard him yell my name but I kept running. I felt so stupid for believing that there was no one else, and that he really cared about me. He was in a band, a really popular band, and girls threw themselves at him all the time. I felt like the biggest idiot in the world becau
se I actually believed him when he said those girls at the bar were just fans. How was he going to explain the naked girl in his apartment? Was she just another fan that he was just being nice to?
By the time I got home my makeup was running down my face mixed with the tears that would not stop coming. I flung myself on my bed and buried my face in my pillow, my body wracked with sobs. Claire wasn’t home so I had to deal with what had just happened alone.
Zane must have called my phone 10 times but I didn’t pick up. I didn’t want to hear any more of his lies and I wasn’t going to let him make a fool of me. I could only imagine how many girls he had been with behind my back.