by Lexi Blake
“No. You’re a widow. Your vows were until death parted you and it did. Your story is not going to end like mine. He is not going to walk through those doors. He’s not going to sneak up and tell you it was all a trick. He’s dead and unless he was a sorry son of a bitch, he likely wouldn’t want you to be alone.”
“He was the best man I ever knew,” Ten said quietly. She hadn’t heard him walking up behind her. He groaned a little as he leaned against the bar. “We were just kids when we met. Nothing fazed Jamie. I mean, it did, but it didn’t. He came up through the same system Phoebe and I did, but it didn’t wreck him the way it did us.”
Phoebe shook her head. “He was lucky. He didn’t have the same trouble we did, Ten.”
Ten’s lips firmed as though he was holding something in. He finally turned her way. “No. That’s not the truth. He never told you about it. He went through every single thing we did. Some worse.”
Her heart twisted. “No. He said he was all right. He lived with his aunt until she died.”
“Who beat the shit out of him,” Ten said. “He had those scars on his arm. You remember the one.”
“He said he was playing with a nail gun.”
“She burned him with cigarettes when he didn’t behave,” Ten stated flatly. “She was a monster and yet Jamie was still open, still willing to try in a way I wasn’t when Franklin adopted me. He was a light and I miss him every fucking day, Phoebe. And I know one thing. He wouldn’t want you to die with him. He would want you to be happy.”
He would, but she wasn’t sure she could be happy without him. How many shots did a person get? In her experience, it wasn’t many. She’d had her real true love. There couldn’t be two of them. She took a deep breath. Explaining that to these particular two men wouldn’t do a damn thing. Ten had never been in love and Taggart wasn’t exactly being logical. It was apparently okay for him to have shut himself off after he thought Charlotte died, but she was supposed to just jump right into bed with someone else.
Except it had been years and she missed the feel of arms around her. Jesse Murdoch made her miss the feeling.
“Look, I’m here for a few days. How about we just say that I’ll keep an open mind.” She couldn’t say she wasn’t intrigued by what happened here at Sanctum. And if spending time with Jesse helped him at all, she would happily do it. She just couldn’t allow herself to feel too much for him.
Taggart handed Ten a glass. “I can’t ask for more. Oh, wait. I own this place and I totally can. I can give you an entire contract to look over and sign, or I’ll shove you out on your pretty ass and let Erin pretend to be you.”
“Erin so can’t pretend to be me. I don’t think Erin has a sensitive bone in her body.” Everyone kept trying to shove other women at Jesse and she really didn’t like the idea. It was totally illogical and unreasonable, but the thought of Erin with her hands on Jesse made Phoebe want to rip all that red hair off her freaking head.
“Apparently she’s sensitive enough to know my little brother gets a boner around her. I need to have a long conversation with that boy. Talk about a death wish. Hey, Ten, put the glass down.” The minute Ten set the glass on the bar, Taggart casually popped him right in the nose, the sound crunching through the air.
Ten cursed and held his nose. “You asshole.”
Taggart grinned. “Oh, I’m never going to be able to hoard them properly. It’s too much fun. And I’ve got nine more of them. I should have gone for an even dozen. Imagine how much fun meetings will be. We’ll be sitting at some briefing and I’ll just punch you right in front of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Good times are coming our way, buddy.”
“I thought you were done with me,” Ten managed to say.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t know you had a family. We do strange things for a family, and sometimes we forget who our family is and we walk away without saying the things we should,” Taggart allowed, and Phoebe got the feeling he wasn’t just talking about today. “I’m still pissed about you keeping things from me.”
“He was going to tell you about Case and Theo.” She could clear one thing up very quickly. “He just needed time to get them on the team. If you had met them in the beginning, they would probably be working for you. Ian, we need men like them. I know you do good work, but this country still needs the Agency and the Agency needs men like your brothers. Like you.”
“I walked away because of my family. I suppose I could walk back in for them, too. Don’t think this means I answer to you, Ten. It just means I’m willing to work with you if it means getting to know my brothers. And you. I walked away when you needed me. I’m not without blame here. Now, Phoebe, go and read the contract and talk to Jesse because I’m sick of the drama. It’s getting late. Ten and I need to drink some Scotch and discuss how we’re going to torture and kill the asswipe traitor when we find him.”
“Are you going to punch him again?” She wasn’t sure she should go.
Ten waved her off. “Go. Let us talk about manly stuff. Call me if you need me, but I’ll be back when the club opens for business. Maybe I can look at some pretty girls. I can’t say I want to have anything to do with the whipping crap, but the costumes are nice.”
“Your sister’s going to be in one Friday. That is if she doesn’t hide in her room,” Taggart pointed out.
“Maybe I’ll just stay outside then,” Ten said, going a little green.
Taggart laughed and poured Ten another. Someone was going to have to drive him back to base. “Do you have any idea how happy I am that my asshole dad only knew how to make boys? I’m so glad that baby in Charlie’s belly has a penis. I have no idea what to do with girls.”
As she walked away, she kind of hoped whatever sonogram Charlotte Taggart had proved false. If any man deserved a daughter, it was Ian Taggart.
What did Jesse deserve? A woman with a whole heart. A woman who could love him without reservation or regret. Unfortunately, for the next few days, all he had was her. So why did a little piece of her thrill at the idea of walking the club with him? For the first time in forever, she had no idea what was going to happen that week.
It made her feel alive. Yeah, that was dangerous.
* * * *
Jesse stared at the bed. Damn Tag. What the hell was he thinking forcing him to share a bedroom with Phoebe for god only knew how long?
They should have let him go back to Wyoming. He had half a mind to bust out and leave anyway.
“Hey, we brought your things,” a soft voice said behind him.
He turned and Chelsea Weston stood in the doorway, her husband behind her. Simon towered over his wife, but his eyes were soft as he looked down at her. “She packed for you. She claims I would pick the most uncomfortable things possible. I tried to tell her you don’t own anything that qualifies. And you should really prepare yourself.”
He was about to ask for what when Chelsea flew across the room and threw her arms around him.
Simon laughed indulgently, picking up the bag she’d dropped. “Sorry, she hugs now. I can’t quite stop her.”
Jesse sighed and hugged her back. How had he ever doubted Simon? Simon was his partner, and maybe it had started out with Simon being forced to watch him, but they were friends now and Jesse promised he wouldn’t question that again. He would be grateful for the friends he’d made in this place. “I don’t mind.”
He’d spent so much time with no one to hold on to that he liked the fact that the women of McKay-Taggart hugged often and well.
Phoebe had started hugging him about three months after they’d met. She would wrap her arms around him and lay her head on his shoulder for a long while before breaking it off and saying good morning or good night.
Chelsea broke away, sniffling. “I can’t believe she nearly killed you.”
He hadn’t thought about the fact that Chelsea could get a little protective. Chelsea likely wouldn’t listen to logic, but he had to try. “In her defense, she didn’t pull the trigger.”
“
There is no defense for what she did,” Chelsea said with complete conviction. “I don’t understand why Satan hasn’t taken her out yet. She should be strung up. You know what, if Ian won’t do what needs to be done, then I will. I will make her life a living hell. She will wish I’d just put her on the no-fly list. I’m going to put an APB out on her ass. I’ll get her on the sex offender list. Hell, I’ll put her number up at Craig’s list with a long menu of sexual services she’s willing to provide for very little money. See how she likes that.”
Chelsea could be a little fierce when she cared about a person, but Jesse thought she was also being the slightest bit hypocritical in this case. “Uhm, aren’t you kind of doing the same thing to Ten’s unit? He knows about that now, by the way.”
Chelsea waved him off. “I’m doing it for good. She’s obviously evil. And Ten’s giving me a ten percent raise if I don’t leave. You can bet Ian won’t be doing that with Miss Happy Trigger Finger.”
“No, I think it’s safe to say I’m going to be looking for another job.”
Jesse turned and there was Phoebe. She’d let her hair down at some point and gotten rid of the sweater she always wore around the office, swearing Taggart kept it too cold for her. Jesse was pretty sure now she’d done it all to hide the fact that she had the most beautiful set of breasts he’d ever seen. They weren’t huge, but they were so perfectly formed he couldn’t take his eyes off them.
“And I prefer Ms. Grant,” Phoebe said as she walked into the room. “My trigger finger is very precise, not happy, which is why our boy is standing here right now. I didn’t follow direct orders. I didn’t shoot him and I wouldn’t have. And I hate flying, so you’ll have to come up with something better than the no-fly list.”
“How about the APB where I tell them to shoot on sight, bitch?”
“Chelsea, down,” Simon growled.
Phoebe just sent him a sad smile. “Don’t bother. I’m not going to win with her. We weren’t friends before so there’s no relationship to fall back on. Also, we’re a little too much alike to ever really get along.”
“As if.” Chelsea didn’t seem ready to give up the fight. “I want to know why my brother-in-law trusts you to be alone with Jesse.”
“He trusts Ten so he trusts me. He also saw me not pulling the trigger. Ian and my brother are downstairs right now talking. You could ask him.”
“Your brother,” Jesse said, testing the words. He was still having a hard time believing it. “Ten is your brother.”
“Adopted, but yes, we consider each other family. The only family we have left,” Phoebe replied. “And that stunt he pulled today was stupid, but I have to admit that if I thought he was going to die, I might do the same thing.”
“Well, I think this plan is stupid,” Chelsea said, crossing her arms over her chest.
“This plan depends on you,” Phoebe pointed out. “You and Adam are supposed to trace the assassin. We’re stuck in here until you do. Are you telling me you can’t do it?”
Jesse had never heard that challenging tone from her, and he realized what had been missing from his relationship with her before. Challenge. Oh, she’d held him off when he’d wanted her, but that desire seemed like a sad little thing compared to what he felt now. She’d seemed like she could use a lover and he knew he wanted one.
Had the old Phoebe just been sweet and convenient? Why did he want to get to know the new one so fucking bad? And yeah, he meant that in a strictly biblical sense because he wasn’t a fucking idiot. He had to admit, the new Phoebe got his motor running. Hence the “sharing a bed, bad idea” problem.
Or was it?
“Oh, I’ll do it,” Chelsea said, getting in her space. “I’ll find this guy and then you can leave, and nothing Ian says or does is going to change that. I’ll get rid of you myself if I have to.”
“Chelsea,” Simon began, “don’t forget where we are.”
Chelsea turned to her husband. “You can spank my ass all day, babe, but I’m still saving Jesse from her. God only knows what Ian was thinking.”
It was good to know someone wanted to save him. He just wasn’t so sure he wanted to be saved. Now that she was standing here, he was wondering if it would really be so bad to have a few days with her. He would never have even thought about seducing Phoebe Graham because she’d seemed so very fragile, but Phoebe Grant could obviously hold her own.
Would it be so bad to fuck her out of his system? He was stuck here with her for days, weeks maybe, with very little to do. He could view it as a challenge. Get her into bed for the duration of their time together and then wave as she walked away and never think about her again.
“Ian was thinking that this is a fairly safe house. It’s got security and Jesse and Phoebe are contained. While you conduct your investigation, they should be safe here.” Simon neatly summed up Big Tag’s plan.
“Then I should get to work because I don’t want to leave him for long with that woman.” Chelsea turned on her heels and strode out.
Simon sighed. “I’m sorry. My wife loves very few people, but when you’re one of them, she loves quite fiercely, though she doesn’t always see reason. I for one thank you for not pulling that trigger as I was very close to Jesse at the time and this is my favorite suit,” Simon said with a wry twist of his lips.
Jesse had to smile. “Yeah, I would never have heard the end of that. Si, tell Chelsea thanks for picking up my stuff.”
“I’ll take care of your place, and I believe Mr. Smith is handling things on his sister’s side.” Simon nodded Phoebe’s way. “Are you two going to be all right?”
“We’ll be fine,” Phoebe said. “I promise I won’t let anyone kill him. I gave up my cover to save him.”
“Your cover was already blown. See that you don’t fuck up again. We’ll see you in a few days, Jesse. Or are you planning on skipping downstairs while you’re here?”
Friday. He was talking about Friday night. Sanctum would be open for business. He would be stuck here with Phoebe for days. There was no way he was going to miss playing. “I’ll be there.”
Simon turned to Phoebe. “If you intend to play, Ms. Grant, I suggest you spend the next few days learning how to behave in this club. Jesse is the Master here, and he’ll decide if you play or not. You’ll obey him in the dungeon or you can stay in your room. I assume Tag gave you a contract.”
She suddenly didn’t look so tough. “I’m supposed to read it, but I’ll probably just stay here.”
Oh, he had to fix that. If one good thing was going to come from this, he intended to play with her.
“That’s probably for the best,” Simon said. “I’m sure Kori would be jealous if you didn’t. She sends her love, Jesse.”
“Does she?” Jesse stared at Simon, wondering if he’d lost his damn mind. Kori was one of the club submissives. She and her friend Sarah were two of the funniest brats Jesse had ever met, but she certainly wouldn’t be jealous. She was a friend. He scened with her from time to time, but it was in a buddy way.
“Yes, she’s worried about you. Call me if you need anything. We’re all taking shifts watching the club, so don’t think you’re alone.” Simon closed the door behind him.
Jesse was fairly certain that Kori wasn’t worried about him since no one would tell her a damn thing. She wasn’t a member of the team, so no one would mention anything to her. She worked for Kai Ferguson, keeping his records and making his appointments, which was why she was allowed in the club. Why would Simon mention her?
“Kori? You have a girlfriend?” Phoebe was staring at him, her eyes narrowed.
Oh, now he got it. He shrugged. “She’s a friend and a girl.”
“And a play partner, I take it.”
“Sometimes.”
“Well, you never mentioned her before, so I’m a little surprised to find out that you have a regular woman you see.”
Was she fucking kidding him? “I never mentioned her like you never mentioned that you weren’t really the person yo
u said you were. Like that never mentioning her?”
She frowned. “I was surprised because you talked about all the people in your life, but you never mentioned her. Even when we were dating, you didn’t mention you had a lover.”
She was so jealous. There was no way to mistake the hard set of her eyes. She was pissed about Simon mentioning Kori. “Why the hell do you care?”
“Because whatever I did, I really was your friend. I really did spend all that time with you. You never told me you were sleeping with another woman.”
He couldn’t lie to her. Lying would make it that much harder to get inside her Agency-issued panties. “I don’t sleep with Kori. She’s a friend. Simon was trying to push you into a corner to see how you would react. I did, however, sleep with a prostitute for a while. It seemed better than getting into a relationship with a woman I didn’t really want when the woman I did want so obviously had no interest in me sexually.”
She flushed, the pinkening of her skin evident even in the low light of the room. “It wasn’t like that.”
“Wasn’t like what?”
“I didn’t have no interest in you. It’s just…I’m married.”
“You’re a widow.” He’d been told that much. She hadn’t seemed very willing to talk about her husband or how he died, but Jesse had been told he’d been Agency and dead for a few years. According to Ten, they’d all been trained by their adoptive father to enter the CIA.
He was utterly fascinated by her.
“It doesn’t matter, Jesse. As soon as we find the traitor, I’m going back to Virginia. I’m going back to the Agency and I’ll disappear. I’m an excellent long-term operative, despite the debacle of today. So no matter what I do or don’t feel for you and all the others, I will leave and go back to my real life.” She walked to the window and touched it, tapping gently. “Bulletproof glass?”
“Tag’s a paranoid freak, but then everyone really is out to get him.” Weariness bore down on him. It was getting dark. He didn’t want dinner, didn’t want a shower, didn’t really want to talk. He wanted to sleep and forget the day had happened. “I’ll sleep in Kai’s room. It’s across the hall. He’s in DC at some conference. He’s not due to be back for a few days, so I’ll crash in there.”