by Lexi Blake
“No, you won’t. We’re staying right here, watching each others backs.” She unzipped her bag and brought out a SIG, checking the clip. “I had the security feed sent through my computer so if anything happens, we’ll get an alarm, but we need to stay together.”
“There’s only one bed.” Shit. “I’ll sleep in the chair.”
“Jesse,” she said softly. She laid the SIG down on the nightstand beside the bed. “It’s a big bed. There’s no reason we can’t both be comfortable.”
“I probably won’t sleep,” he confessed, but he was already thinking about how much better it would be to rest beside her. If he got into bed with her, he had a chance at getting physical. He really wanted that chance. If she was going to leave, he wanted to know what it felt like to be inside her, but he had to weigh that against what he knew tended to happen when he slept. “I have bad dreams sometimes. Really bad dreams. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know,” she said softly. “Despite everything I’ve done to you, I know you won’t hurt me.”
He wasn’t sure he could hurt her. She would have to really care about him to be vulnerable, and she’d made it plain that she couldn’t really care about him.
She looked at him across the bed. “Jesse, I can handle your bad dreams. And I think we could both use some sleep. It’s been a horrible day.”
It had and yet he wanted to hold her. The day might not be so bad if he could hold her. He really was stupid. “All right.”
“According to Chelsea, she’s a genius, so she will find our bad guy with very little trouble. This shouldn’t take too long.”
It probably wouldn’t. He kicked off his shoes and tossed his body on his side of the bed. He wasn’t going to argue with her anymore. He would likely never have taken the chance with her before, but she’d proven herself to be far tougher than he could have imagined. Hell, if someone had told him Phoebe knew how to handle a gun, he would have laughed.
She’d really looked competent with that SIG. Kinda hot. Really hot.
Damn it. New super spy Phoebe was sexier than sweet, needed protecting Phoebe.
He closed his eyes, wondering how much time he had left with her and what the hell he was going to do when she was gone. She’d been his goal for months and months. He’d believed if he could get someone as gentle and sweet as Phoebe to love him, maybe he would be able to think of himself as worthy. Love had been his goal. He’d wanted what Li had with Avery. What Sean had with Grace. A soft, gentle woman to take care of and protect and prove that he wasn’t some animal.
New Phoebe didn’t need protection. New Phoebe likely didn’t need him at all. So why did new Phoebe get his dick hard so damn fast? He turned to his side, away from her because he had a freaking hard-on. Yep, he was the fidiot who got an erection for the woman who’d lied to him.
He heard her moving around, heard her snap the blinds shut and close the bathroom door. The door to the bedroom snicked into place and then everything went dark as she turned off the light.
The bed shifted as she slid under the covers.
“Do you hate me?”
He rolled on his back again. Did he hate her? He should. He should despise her for what she’d done, but hate seemed to be one thing he wasn’t capable of. “I’m mad at you, but I don’t hate you.”
A long moment passed between them, and he thought she might have dropped off to sleep.
“I’m glad because you’re the best friend I’ve made in years.” She sniffled and turned to her side. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t mean to. I really do…I just hope after all this is over that you find someone. I can’t think of anyone else in the world who deserves it more than you. You’re going to make someone an amazing husband, Jesse Murdoch.”
The room went quiet again. Jesse stared at the ceiling and hoped Chelsea and Adam did their jobs as slowly as possible because no matter what Phoebe said, he intended to get inside her soon. He would let her go on to her happy Agency job afterward, but he was going to have her.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“So you get to sit around and watch the telly, and Sean brings you food and Big Tag’s still paying you?” Li asked with a shake of his head. “Damn me. I need to get a couple of assassins after me, too. Sounds like heaven.”
“I’d switch places with you,” Jesse admitted. He sighed and looked out over the club. It was still early in the evening. Not even ten o’clock, so the scenes hadn’t really started, but most of the team had shown up. “Who’s got the baby? Or are you here strictly to give me shit?”
Li’s lips curled up in a grin. “Nah, although I do live fer dat. We turned the conference room into a nursery for the night. I know we won’t be able to do it once the kiddos are older, but fer now, they’re perfectly happy pooping in there for the evening. We’re paying a couple of the subs to watch over them, but they’re mostly asleep.”
He wondered if Phoebe knew the babies were downstairs. It might get her to come down. “I’m glad you came up with a solution, and my house arrest hasn’t been all fun. Tag won’t even let me go out into the courtyard.”
There was a small courtyard with a basketball goal and a couple of benches, but Tag had yelled at him for going out and shooting some hoops. Apparently snipers were fucking everywhere and they loved to murder dudes getting some exercise.
“Is she making you crazy then?”
That was part of the problem. He’d spent so much time with her over the last couple of days that he should be totally sick of her. He’d eaten every meal with her. Sean brought them dinner, but the morning after they’d been locked inside, Grace and Serena had shown up with groceries for breakfast and lunch. He’d expected to eat cereal and sandwiches, but he’d woken up the morning before and found her making pancakes and bacon. She’d smiled at him and handed him a cup of coffee. He’d cut up fruit at her direction and they’d had a good morning. Quiet. Peaceful.
It felt right to be with her.
“No. We’re all right. She just didn’t want to come downstairs.”
“Is she worried we’re going to attack her? Verbally, that is. Big Tag told us we couldn’t attack her physically.” His hands went up when Jesse growled his way. “I wasn’t the one who suggested it. My very lovely lady pit bull partner did. I had a talk with Erin. She’s going to play it cool, though I think we should just put them in a ring full of Jell-O and see how things go.”
Actually, that wasn’t an unpleasant idea. “Tell me what’s happening in the outside world. Sean is the only one I see on a daily basis, and he talks about what wine we should drink with dinner. I don’t drink wine.”
Li chuckled a little. “That’s Sean for you. Do you want a rundown of active cases or do you just want me to get to the good stuff?”
“Have they found anything out?” There was really only one case he desperately wanted an update on, and that was his. “All Big Tag will tell me is they’re working on it.”
“Whoever it is, he’s good. He’s careful. We think he’s likely been in place for years and has only been called into service recently. There’s a reason Chelsea and Adam can’t find anything.”
Because there wasn’t anything to find. It was why sleepers were so very dangerous. They could use non-traceable forms of communication. The US Postal Service didn’t keep records of the mail they delivered. All anyone needed was a stamp and if the person on the other end of the letter was smart enough to burn it, then there was no evidence the communication ever existed. It required patience, but it was possible to stay off the grid. “Is Chelsea okay?”
“She’s impossible. Simon had to order her to sleep.” Li leaned forward, the light from the bar illuminating his face. “I’ve been thinking about something.”
Jesse leaned in. Li O’Donnell wasn’t considered the brains of the operation, but Jesse had learned that when Li got serious, it was time to listen. He often saw things the others didn’t, had insights that escaped everyone else. “What?”
“Why would a sleeper come
after you? I can’t get it out of me head. A sleeper like this is a valuable asset. Intelligence agencies will spend years developing an operative like this. Ten’s team was only recently put together, and every single man on it came from Special Forces or something like it. These weren’t new recruits. They’re the best of the best.”
“They should totally be killing someone more important than me.” Jesse understood what he was saying. Put like that it really didn’t make a lot of sense.
“Exactly. Ten’s unit has access to any manner of top secret information. Hell, they provide security in foreign countries for some high-ranking diplomats and politicians. This sleeper could go after anyone. Why you?”
“I don’t know.”
“That’s what we need to figure out. While Chelsea and Adam chase their tails, I’m going to study you. You’re the answer. You’re the one who leads us to the sleeper. This is about you. We have to figure out why they want you dead.”
“Has anyone else like me died recently? You know, a soldier held prisoner?”
“No. I checked that first. I’m also looking at Ten’s group for the likeliest suspects. Ten swears he’s the only one who knew that number, but unlike our paranoid boss, Ten’s lazy. He had the phone transferred in from the head office. There’s a record of it in the system. Chelsea did find that.”
“Then it could be anyone.”
“No. Phoebe’s name and location are only on a NOC list. If someone’s got hold of that, we’re in for a lot more trouble.”
NOC stood for non-official cover. It was the way the Agency kept up with who was where and what name they were going under. It was highly classified. “So you think they found out through some other means?”
“Again, Ten’s been a little comfy. He calls her once a week and they’ve met three times in the last year. He could have been followed any of those times. Someone put it together and decided that she was the easiest way to get rid of you.” Li settled his beer on the counter. “The question becomes why not just take you out himself. The answer—because he’s got eyes on him. Because he’s got a team around him that might ask questions. That tells me whoever is pulling the strings doesn’t want to lose his puppet, but he was willing to take the chance.”
“And when he decides to sacrifice his pawn, he’ll do something desperate. He’ll come after me himself.”
“I wouldn’t worry too much about that. You’re safe here. It’s more secure than a prison, and someone is always watching. Also, I’ve been informed your girl doesn’t intend to let you die. Kai will be back tomorrow, too. I think he looks like a hippie surfer, but Ian swears he’s deadly.”
Jesse had kind of hoped he could avoid Kai altogether. Kai had been his therapist for months and he liked the man, but Kai was not going to take his decision to leave at the end of this well. Jesse could practically hear the lecture. “Let’s hope he doesn’t have anything to worry about. I doubt the sleeper is going to invade Sanctum the way Ten did. I’m probably stuck here for a while. At least Big Tag springs for cable.”
Li slapped him on the shoulder. “Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out. Now the question is what do we do about your problem?”
“I thought we just talked about that.”
“I was referring to getting Phoebe to come out of her hidey-hole so you can play with her. Tell me you don’t want to play with the girl. Or have you been playing privately?”
Jesse snorted and thought about having another piña colada. Two was the set limit at Sanctum if a Dom or sub wanted to play, but Jesse rarely had more than one. Maybe he should just be honest with himself and acknowledge the fact that he didn’t want to play if he couldn’t play with her. “No. The only games we’ve played are board games, and I’m pretty sure she cheats. Can you cheat at Jenga?”
Li grinned, the smile making him look younger than normal. “I bet she could find a way. The Agency likes their operatives to be wily ones.” He sobered slightly. “So why isn’t she really down here? Are you not getting on now that she doesn’t cry at the drop of a hat?”
“She didn’t cry that much and we’re getting along all right.” When he really thought about it, the last several days had been peaceful. He’d enjoyed her company, and she’d actually talked to him. The night before they’d had something called osso buco, and she’d drank some of the wine Sean had brought and Jesse had enjoyed a beer. They’d sat in front of the fire in Kai’s living room and talked about where they grew up. Jesse had told her about Wyoming and she’d talked about horse country in Virginia. She’d even talked a bit about her husband and some of the trouble they’d gotten into as teens. “I like her.”
“I could tell. You know, I’m glad my wife understood why I did what I did. We wouldn’t be together if she’d taken a hard line against men who met her under false pretenses. Unlike Chelsea, who curses the poor woman’s very name, I understand the position Phoebe was in. Yes, she lied, but it was her job. All I’m saying is if you want the girl, get her. Don’t be afraid the rest of us are going to think poorly of you or that we won’t accept her. I guarantee this will be nothing but a tale to tell your kiddos one day. Go upstairs and coax her down. She’ll see it’s not so bad.”
He wanted her. His need to seduce and dump her had lasted an entire night. When he’d woken up next to her that first morning, she’d been curled up against him and all of his badassed revenge had gone up in smoke. That was who he was. He was surrounded by men who understood what vengeance meant, but he was a puppy begging for affection. He was exactly what the Caliph had called him. A dog. Dumb. Loyal when he shouldn’t be. He shook his head. “No, she’s fine where she is. She’s nervous about the BDSM stuff. We went over the contract and I explained how things work in the dungeon, but she decided it wasn’t for her. She’s going to read or something.”
“Little chicken,” Li said, taking another beer from the bartender. “If there was ever a woman who needed some dominance, it’s that one. Scared of her own shadow. She could use some discipline.”
“She was only pretending to be skittish, Li.”
“Perhaps, but I think it’s interesting that she chose that persona to hide behind. You know as well as I do that it’s best to stick close to your own self when going undercover. She decided to be the girl everyone worried about, the girl all the other women tried to protect. That says something about her.”
He hadn’t thought of it that way. “She was raised in foster care until she was a teen.”
“There you go. That makes sense then. She spent her whole life taking care of herself. She chose to be a person who needed to be protected. Do you understand?”
Jesse shook his head. “I don’t understand a damn thing about her.”
“Well, that’s because she’s a woman. I love my Avery, but I rarely understand why she does the things she does. I only know that I’ll do anything at all to make sure she keeps doing them. That woman’s a mystery to me and I won’t ever finish solving her.”
Phoebe was completely a mystery. So was his reaction to her. Not one single dream. He’d slept better than he ever had. He didn’t even wake up when she rolled out of bed. It was incomprehensible to him.
Li looked up, his eyes widening slightly. “Well, it looks like you were wrong about her.”
Jesse followed his line of sight and his jaw damn near dropped.
Phoebe walked into the bar wearing the clothes he’d put out for her earlier that day. He’d laid them out with very little hope that he’d see her in them. A scarlet corset sat over a tiny spandex miniskirt that revealed far more than it covered. He’d left out the fishnet hose that had come with the outfit because he would rather see her legs. Her feet were bare, showing off the way her toes were painted a hot pink.
“Hi.” She stepped up to the bar. “Can I have one or is that something just for the Doms?”
Li eased off his barstool. “I’ll leave you two. Phoebe, you look lovely.”
She frowned. “Really?”
“Really. Wel
come to Sanctum. Jesse, don’t let that one get too far away. Every unattached Dom in the place will be after her.” Li nodded toward the dungeon. “Big Tag is here with Charlotte. He’s doing some kind of exhibition where he spins around floggers like a bloody baton twirler. What’s the world coming to?”
Jesse sort of, kind of realized Li was walking away. His whole focus was on the woman in front of him. “You can have a drink. I suggest one before and one after.”
“After?” She tugged at her skirt as she tried to get on the barstool. “Does this have to be so short?”
“If you don’t like it I could exchange it for a thong.” He thought he’d been pretty damn kind to give her a sort of skirt.
“That’s worse.” She cursed under her breath.
He slid off his barstool, picked her up, and set her down. “There. Better?”
She wiggled a little, obviously trying to find some modesty. She finally settled on crossing her legs and looked as prim and proper as a woman in a corset could. “Not really. You couldn’t have given me some undies?”
His cock jumped at the thought that she was sitting right beside him and her pretty pussy was just a twist of that skirt away. “Nope. But the fact that you didn’t try to sneak any makes me think you’re already better at this than most of the other subs when they started.”
She straightened up. “I can follow orders when I think they’re reasonable. Or when I think I can’t possibly get around them. I thought about putting on some of my own underwear and then calculated the chances of getting away with it. They weren’t good. Someone would have noticed and according to that contract, you would have the right to spank me.”
“You liked it when I spanked you.”
“I…I…well, I was caught off guard and I don’t know how I felt about it. Seriously, can I get a drink?”
She could have stayed upstairs. There was still a bottle of wine left over. She wasn’t down here to drink. She was down here because she was curious.