Collected Works of Booth Tarkington

by Booth Tarkington

  [IVANOFF swallows painfully, and looks pitifully from VASILI to PIKE.]

  PIKE

  [coming down to IVANOFF, standing before him humbly]

  It’s the truth, old man. I can’t do it.

  [IVANOFF’S head falls forward on his chest.]

  IVANOFF

  [in a low voice]

  I thank you for what you have tried to do for me.

  [Gives PIKE his hand. PIKE turns away.]

  VASILI

  You have until ten o’clock.

  [Valet appears in the doorway.]

  Mon chapeau et pardessus.

  [Exit valet.]

  In the meantime my friend believes Naples a safe place for me.

  [Valet returns with his coat, hat, and gloves.]

  And so, auf weidersehn.

  [Dismisses the valet with a gesture.]

  PIKE

  [going to him and shaking hands heartily]

  Good-bye, Doc, and God bless you!

  VASILI

  To our next meeting.

  [Exit briskly through the upper doors. As they close behind him, IVANOFF’S manner changes. He goes rapidly to a table, picks up the cigarettes, which are in a large silver open box, and touches the bottle of vodka significantly.]

  IVANOFF

  I thought so — Russian!

  PIKE

  What!

  IVANOFF

  That man, your friend, who calls himself Gröllerhagen, is not a German — he is a Russian — not only that, he is a Russian noble. I see it in a hundred ways that you cannot.

  PIKE

  Whatever he is, he helped us this afternoon. I’d trust him to the bone.

  IVANOFF

  I have felt it inevitable that I should go back to Siberia. A thousand times have I felt it since I entered these rooms.

  [He goes down toward the window.]

  PIKE

  I know you feel mighty bad, but perhaps — perhaps —

  IVANOFF

  There is no perhaps for me. There was never any perhaps after I met Hélène.

  PIKE

  [scratching his head]

  Hélène!

  IVANOFF

  Hélène was my wife, she who sent me to Siberia, she and my dear, accursed English friend.

  PIKE

  [thoughtfully]

  What was his name?

  IVANOFF

  His name — it was Glenwood. I shall not forget that name soon.

  PIKE

  What was he doing in Russia?

  IVANOFF

  I have told you he had contracts with the Ministry of Finance — he supplied hydraulic machinery to the government. Does the name Glenwood mean anything to you? Have you heard it?

  PIKE

  [profoundly thoughtful, pauses, looking at IVANOFF sharply]

  No.

  [Then to himself.]

  And there must be a million Hélènes in France.

  IVANOFF

  I prayed God to let me meet them before I was taken. But I talk too much of myself. I wish to know — you — you will be safe. They can do nothing to you, can they?

  PIKE

  [with assumed cheerfulness]

  Oh, I’m all right — don’t worry about me.

  [Loud knock at the upper doors.]

  IVANOFF

  [despairingly]

  It is the carabiniere.

  PIKE

  Steady.

  [Looks at watch.]

  Not yet. Go back. We won’t throw our hands into the discard until we’re called. We’ll keep on raising.

  [Exit IVANOFF through door on the right, closing it after him.]

  [PIKE scratches his head and slowly says: “Hélène.” Then calls: “Come in!”]

  [MARIANO opens the upper doors from without and bows.]

  MARIANO

  Miladi Creesh — she ask you would speak with her a few minutes?

  PIKE

  All right! Where is she?

  MARIANO

  Here, sir.

  PIKE

  Come right in, ma’am!

  [LADY CREECH enters.]

  LADY CREECH

  [frigidly]

  I need scarcely inform you that this interview is not of my seeking.

  [She sits stiffly.]

  On the contrary, it is intensely disagreeable to me. My brother-in-law feels that some one well acquainted with Miss Granger-Simpson’s ambitions and her inner nature should put the case finally to you before we proceed to extremities.

  PIKE

  Yes, ma’am!

  LADY CREECH

  [crossly]

  Don’t mumble your words if you expect me to listen to you.

  PIKE

  [cordially]

  Go on, ma’am!

  LADY CREECH

  My brother-in-law has made us aware of the state of affairs, and we are quite in sympathy with my brother-in-law’s attitude as to what should be done to you.

  PIKE

  [in a tone of genial inquiry]

  Yes, ma’am; and what do you think ought to be done to me?

  LADY CREECH

  If, in the kindness of our hearts, we condone your offence, we insist upon your accession to our reasonable demands.

  PIKE

  [sardonically]

  By ten o’clock!

  LADY CREECH

  Quite so.

  PIKE

  You say he told all of you? Has he told Miss Ethel?

  LADY CREECH

  It hasn’t been thought proper. Young girls should be shielded from everything disagreeable.

  PIKE

  Yes, ma’am; that’s the idea that got me into this trouble.

  LADY CREECH

  I say, this young lady, who seems to be technically your ward, is considered, by all of us who understand her, infinitely more my ward.

  PIKE

  Yes, ma’am! Go on.

  LADY CREECH

  [loftily]

  She came to me something more than a year ago —

  PIKE

  [simply]

  Did you advertise?

  LADY CREECH

  [stung]

  I suppose it is your intention to be offensive.

  PIKE

  [protesting]

  No, ma’am; I didn’t mean anything. But, you see, I’ve handled all her accounts, and her payments to you —

  LADY CREECH

  [crushingly]

  We will omit tradesman-like references! What Lord Hawcastle wished me to impress on you is not only that you will ruin yourself, but put a blight upon the life of the young lady whom you are pleased to consider your ward. We make this suggestion because we conceive that you have a preposterous sentimental interest yourself in Miss Granger-Simpson.

  PIKE

  [taken aback]

  Me?

  LADY CREECH

  Upon what other ground are we to explain your conduct?

  PIKE

  You mean that I’d only stand between her and you for my own sake?

  LADY CREECH

  We can comprehend no other grounds.

  PIKE

  [solemnly]

  I don’t believe you can! But you can comprehend that I wouldn’t have any hope, can’t you?

  LADY CREECH

  One never knows what these weird Americans hope. Hawcastle assures me you have some such idea, but my charge has studied under my instruction — deportment, manners, and ideals — which has lifted her above the mere American circumstance of her birth. She has ambitions. If you stand in the way of them she will wither, she will die like a caged bird. All that was sordid about her parentage she has cast off. We have thought that we might make something out of her.

  PIKE

  [in a clear voice, looking at her mildly]

  Make something out of her — yes, ma’am!

  LADY CREECH

  [quickly]

  Make something better of her. We offer her this alliance with a family which for seven hundred years —
>
  PIKE

  Yes, ma’am — Crecy and Agincourt — I know.

  LADY CREECH

  With a family never sullied by those low ideals of barter and exchange which are the governing impulses of your countrymen.

  PIKE

  Seven hundred years —

  [fumbling in coat-pocket]

  — why, look here, Mrs. Creech!

  [At this LADY CREECH half rises from her chair with a profound shudder, sinks back again; PIKE continues.]

  I’ve got a letter right here

  [takes letter from pocket]

  that tells me your brother-in-law was in business — and I respect him for it — only a few years ago.

  LADY CREECH

  [angrily]

  A letter from whom?

  PIKE

  Jim Cooley, our vice-consul in London. Jim ain’t the wisest man in the world, but he seems to have this all right, and he says Mr. Hawcastle —

  LADY CREECH

  [exploding]

  Mr. Hawcastle!

  PIKE

  [placatingly]

  Well, I can call a person Colonel or Cap or Doc or anything of that kind, but I just plain don’t know how to use the kind of words you have over here for those things. They don’t seem to fit my mouth, somehow. Just let me run on my own way. I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. Anyway, Jim says your brother-in-law was in business in Russia.

  [Up to this point he has gone on rapidly, but after the word “Russia” he pauses abruptly as if startled by a sudden thought and slowly repeats.]

  “In business in Russia!”

  [He rises.]

  LADY CREECH

  This is beside the point entirely!

  PIKE

  It is the point! Now, between us, ain’t Jim right? Ain’t it the truth?

  LADY CREECH

  [angry and agitated]

  Since some of your vulgar American officials have been spying about —

  PIKE

  [with controlled excitement]

  Your brother-in-law was in business in Russia; so far, so good.

  [Leans upon back of chair watching her, eager, but smiling cordially.]

  I don’t say he was peddling shoe-strings on the corner or selling weinerwursts —

  [LADY CREECH gives a slight scream of indignation.]

  PIKE

  [continuing]

  Probably something more hifalutin’ and dignified than that. He was probably agent for a wooden butter-dish factory.

  LADY CREECH

  [enraged]

  He had contracts with the Russian government itself!

  PIKE

  (staggering back, recovers himself immediately, and, speaking sharply, but in a voice of great agitation). Not for mining — not for hydraulic machines!

  LADY CREECH

  And even so he protected the historic name of St. Aubyn.

  PIKE

  By God, I believe you!

  LADY CREECH

  Don’t mumble your words!

  PIKE

  Had he ever lived at Glenwood Priory?

  LADY CREECH

  [indignantly]

  Is your mind wandering? The priory belonged to Hawcastle’s mother. Can you state its connection with the subject?

  PIKE

  That’s how he protected the historic name of St. Aubyn! That’s the name he took — Glenwood!

  LADY CREECH

  What of that?

  PIKE

  [awe-struck]

  God moves in a mysterious way his wonders to perform!

  LADY CREECH

  Oblige me by omitting blasphemous allusions in my presence. What answer are you prepared to make to Lord Hawcastle?

  PIKE

  [in a ringing voice]

  Tell your brother-in-law that he can have my answer in ten minutes — and he can come to me here for it! I’ll give it in the presence of the young lady and her brother.

  LADY CREECH

  [turning to go]

  Her brother — certainly! He is in perfect sympathy with our attitude. As for Miss Granger-Simpson’s knowing anything of this most disagreeable affair — no!

  PIKE

  I beg your pardon.

  LADY CREECH

  I shall not permit her to come near here. As her chaperone I refuse. We all refuse!

  PIKE

  All right; refuse away.

  LADY CREECH

  I shall tell Lord Hawcastle —

  PIKE

  Ten minutes from now and in this room.

  LADY CREECH

  But Miss Granger-Simpson under no condition whatever.

  [Sweeps out haughtily.]

  [PIKE closes the doors behind her, touches an electric button over the mantel, then sits at desk and writes hurriedly. Knock at upper doors.]

  PIKE

  Come in!

  [Enter MARIANO.]

  PIKE

  Mariano, I want you to take this note to Miss Simpson.

  [Quickly enclosing note in envelope and addressing it.]

  MARIANO

  To Mees Granger-Seempson?

  PIKE

  Do you know where she is?

  MARIANO

  She walks on the terrace alone.

  PIKE

  Give it to her yourself — to no one else —

  [emphatically]

  — and do it now.

  [Gives him the note.]

  MARIANO

  At once, sir!

  [Going.]

  PIKE

  Hurry!

  [Almost pushes him out of the upper doors and closes them. He goes quickly to the door on the right, opens it, and calls.]

  Ivanoff!

  [IVANOFF opens the door and comes out apprehensively.]

  IVANOFF

  [as he enters]

  Have they come?

  PIKE

  Not yet! Ivanoff, you prayed to see your wife and your friend Glenwood before you went back to Siberia.

  IVANOFF

  [falling back with a cry]

  Ah!

  PIKE

  If that prayer is answered through me, will you promise to remember that it’s my fight?

  IVANOFF

  Ah! it is impossible — you wish to play with me!

  PIKE

  Do I look playful?

  [A bugle sounds sharply outside the window.]

  IVANOFF

  [wildly]

  The carabiniere — for me.

  [The two rush together to the window.]

  PIKE

  [thrusting IVANOFF behind him]

  Don’t show yourself!

  IVANOFF

  [looking out of the window over PIKE’S shoulder]

  Look! Near the lamp yonder — there by the doors — the carabiniere.

  PIKE

  They’ve been there since this afternoon.

  [Shading his eyes from the light of the room with one hand.]

  Look there — who on earth — who’s that they’ve got with them? — Why, good Lord! it’s Doc!

  [Astounded.]

  IVANOFF

  It is Herr von Gröllerhagen! Did I not tell you he was a Russian? He has betrayed me himself. He was not satisfied that others should.

  [Bitterly.]

  I knew I was in the wolf’s throat here!

  PIKE

  Don’t you believe it! They’ve arrested poor old Doc. They got him as he went out.

  IVANOFF

  [pointing]

  No; they speak respectfully to him. They bow to him —

  PIKE

  [grimly]

  They’ll be bowing to us in a minute. That’s probably the way these colonels run you in.

  [Sharp knock on upper doors.]

  PIKE

  [urging him toward the door on the right]

  You wait till I call you, and remember it’s my fight.

  IVANOFF

  [turning, half hysterically]

  You promise before I am taken that I shall see —
<
br />   [MARIANO enters at upper doors.]

  PIKE

  [domineeringly, as he sees MARIANO]

  And don’t you forget what I’ve been telling you — you get the sand out of that gear-box first thing tomorrow morning, or I’ll see that you draw your last pay Saturday night.

  [IVANOFF bows meekly and exit to right, closing door after him.]

  MARIANO

  Miss Granger-Seempson!

  [Exit.]

  PIKE

  All right, Mariano!

  [ETHEL enters haughtily.]

  I’m much obliged to you for taking my note the right way. I’ve got some pretty good reasons for not leaving this room.

  [She is icy in manner, but her hands fidget with the note he has sent her, crumpling it up.]

  ETHEL

  [sitting]

  Your note seemed so extraordinarily urgent —

  PIKE

  It had to be. Some folks who want to see me are coming here, and I want you to see them — here. They’d stopped you from coming if they could.

  ETHEL

  [holding herself very straight in her chair]

  There was no effort to prevent me.

  PIKE

  No; I didn’t give ’em time.

  ETHEL

  May I ask to whom you refer?

  PIKE

  The whole kit and boodle of ’em!

  ETHEL

  [not relaxing her coldness]

  You are inelegant, Mr. Pike.

  PIKE

  I haven’t time to be elegant, even if I knew how.

  ETHEL

  Do you mean that my chaperone would disapprove?

  PIKE

  I shouldn’t be surprised. I reckon the whole fine flower of Europe would disapprove. “Disapprove?” — they’d sand-bag you to keep you away!

  ETHEL

  [rising quickly]

  Oh, then I can’t stay.

  PIKE

  [going between her and the upper doors, speaks with ring of domination]

  Yes you can, and you will, and you’ve got to!

  ETHEL

  [angrily]

  “Got to!” I shall not!

  PIKE

  I’m your guardian, and you’ll do as I say. You’ll obey me this once if you never do again.

  [She looks at him defiantly; he faces her with determination, and continues without pause.]

  You’ll stay here while I talk to these people, and you’ll stay in spite of anything they say or do to make you go.

  [Slight pause; she yields and walks back to her chair. PIKE continues.]

  God knows I hate to talk rough to you. I wouldn’t hurt your feelings for the world, but it’s come to a point where I’ve got to use the authority I have over you.

  ETHEL

  [with a renewal of her defiance]

  Authority? Do you think —

  PIKE

  You’ll stay here for the next twenty minutes if I have to make Crecy and Agincourt look like a Peace Conference!

  [She looks at him aghast, sinks into chair by table; he continues after a very slight pause.]