The Harder You Fall

by L A Cotton

  “Actually, it’s all taken care of.”

  She stopped what she was doing, fixing her suspicious gaze on me. “Let me guess, those Raider boys are picking up the tab.”

  “Asher’s family has a penthouse we can stay in. It won’t cost a penny. I’ll just need some gas money and an outfit, but Felicity has already said I can borrow something.”

  “Asher’s family,” she repeated, her tight expression telling me everything I needed to know.

  “It’s not a big deal, Auntie,” I said, grabbing the last of the groceries and putting them away.

  “The fact you’re saying it’s not a big deal, tells me it is a big deal. I thought you were going to be cautious where the Bennet boy was concerned?”

  “Asher, his name is Asher, Aunt C. Besides, would it really hurt for you to be happy for me. I have friends, Auntie, good friends. And Asher is, well, he’s a good person.”

  He was good and kind and he liked me.

  He didn’t see Mya, the girl from the hood; he saw Mya, the girl who had left her home, her life, for something better.

  “And what do his parents think about you heading off to New York with their son for New Year?”

  “I... I don’t know.” The truth teetered on the tip on my tongue. “But Asher doesn’t care what they think. He’s serious about this thing between us. I am too.”

  “Mya, Mya, Mya,” she made a drawn-out groaning sound, “I thought you were more sensible than this.”

  “We care about each other,” I said, my voice cracked with frustration. “Isn’t that enough?”

  “For now, maybe. But what about after graduation? What then? You’ll go off to different schools and he’ll what, wait for you?” she asked incredulously. “I’ve heard rumors about that family, about his father’s connections. You think he’s going to sit by and watch as his only son dates you?” Her tone was almost scathing, as if I was the villain here. Not Mr. Bennet and his bigoted ideals.

  The need to defend Asher, to defend our fledgling relationship burned inside me. “Asher is—”

  “Going to break your heart. I’m sorry, Mya, I know you don’t want to hear it but he’s going to go off to college; meet some rich, white girl his parents approve of; and leave you high and dry.”

  “You’re wrong.” Anger slithered through me, making my body tremble and tears sting my eyes. “I know you only want to protect me, Auntie. But I know Asher and you’re wrong about him.”

  Maybe this thing between us was doomed to fail. Maybe it was destined to be nothing more than a short whirlwind of stolen kisses and secret touches. But in my heart of hearts, I knew Asher would never purposefully hurt me. He didn’t have it in him.

  “I love you,” I said quietly, my heart aching for the crack forming in our relationship. “But I’ve made my choice. I choose Asher.”

  Aunt Ciara’s expression hardened, her lips thinning with disapproval. She didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to. I felt her disappointment. It permeated the air, making it dense and oppressive. But then my cell phone blared to life, drowning out our tension. I ignored it, trying to think of how to smooth over the crack forming between us.

  “You should probably answer that.” She bit out when it blared again.

  “Fine, I’ll be up in my room.” I marched out of the kitchen, desperate to hear Asher’s voice, only to be disappointed when I saw Shona’s name flashing on the screen.

  “Hey, this unexpected.”

  “A girl can’t call her girlfriend no more?”

  “Shona, it isn’t even like that.” Closing the door behind me, I dropped down on the edge of the bed. “How’s it going?”

  “How do you think it’s going? Jermaine about damn near lost his shit when he found out you’d left… again.”

  “I told him—”

  “Don’t matter what you told him. He isn’t going to let this thing go.”

  “He has to. I’m done. I’ve moved on. I…” Asher’s infectious smile flashed in my mind. “I’m seeing someone.”

  “The white boy JT lookalike?”

  “And he plays football,” I teased, trying to lighten the tense mood.

  “Damn, girl, it’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.” Silence lingered over the line.

  “He’s a good guy, Shona.”

  “Whatever you say. I just don’t want to see you get hurt again,” she let out a heavy sigh. “Listen, I was calling to tell you Jermaine came around asking about you. I didn’t tell him nothing, but I don’t think he’s going to forget you anytime soon.”

  “He has to,” I repeated unsure who I was trying to convince more.

  Her.

  Or myself.

  “My life is here now, Shona. He doesn’t know I’m in Rixon. He can’t ever know.”

  “Chill, girl. I ain’t going to say nothing. But I can’t guarantee Jesse won’t get involved if he keeps coming around here.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Nah, you’re not. But I get it. You had to get out. Stay safe, girl.”

  “You too,” I whispered. Shona hung up and I clutched the phone to my chest. Jermaine wasn’t going away. Even though I’d changed my number and told him we were done, he was still there. Haunting me like a ghost.

  I didn’t expect Aunt Ciara and Shona to understand my relationship with Asher, but it sucked that I had to constantly defend it to the people closest to me. Aunt Ciara had her reasons, but Asher wasn’t her ex. He wasn’t going to make false promises only to break my heart and leave me bloody and bruised and alone. And Shona… well, she didn’t get it. Where we came from you didn’t date white boys.

  Even though their disapproval didn’t surprise me, a small part of me had hoped they would see things from my perspective. That they would at least try to understand what it was like to be an eighteen-year-old falling headfirst for a guy who made her laugh and feel safe and cherished. A guy who wouldn’t bring pain and danger and heartache to my doorstep. But the louder their warnings got, the quieter my conviction became, the two halves of me at war.

  Asher wouldn’t hurt me. I didn’t doubt that.

  But trying to live in Asher’s world with him, that might just destroy me.

  “Not that one,” I said, cringing at the thought of myself in the floral print dress Felicity was holding up against her body.

  “You’re right, it’s too… happy.”

  “Happy? Are you saying I’m not happy?”

  She glanced over at me, fighting a smirk, as I lounged on her bed, surrounded by clothes. “Do you think you’re happy?”

  “I’m happy with Asher. He makes me happy.”

  “You are so cute right now. He’d love it.”

  “Don’t you dare tell him I was sitting here making googly eyes. I have a rep to protect. A thunderstorm rep, apparently.”

  “I didn’t say you were thunder but you’re definitely not sunshine either.”

  I poked my tongue out at her and picked the silky dress—the one I’d worn to the Bennets’ party—off the pile. “I could wear this again.”

  “No, he’s already seen you in that. Besides, that was parental approved. This is New York. You need something… more.”

  “More, right.” I rolled my eyes, letting the soft material flutter through my fingertips, remembering how Asher’s eyes had widened when he saw me in it. The way his breath had hitched. The hunger in his expression.

  “Show me what you brought over again.” Flick beckoned at me.

  Digging out the bag of worn jeans, denim skirts, shorts, and tank tops, I pulled a face. “This is definitely not going to cut it.”

  “It’s okay, we still have time. I must have something in here.” She began sifting through her wardrobe again.

  My eyes flicked to the dress Flick planned to wear. It was a deep shade of green, cut low in the front and even lower in the back. Her mom had bought it specially for her, wanting her daughter to look the part for our big trip to New York.

  I couldn’t den
y jealousy had simmered in my veins when she’d told me. I wasn’t jealous of her, or even the dress, but I couldn’t ever remember a time my mom had taken me shopping. And for as strong as I tried to be, I couldn’t pretend my friend’s sparkly new dress wasn’t a reminder of everything I’d lost.

  Everything I never had.

  “Okay, I think I’ve got it. Show me those jean shorts again. The dark wash ones.”

  “These old things?” I’d breathed life into an old pair of jeans by cutting off the legs, but they hardly screamed New York club vibe.

  “I think they might work with this.” She spun around, presenting me with a sequined black halter that was too short to be a dress but long enough my midriff wouldn’t be on display. “The back is cut low, so you won’t be able to wear a bra.” Flick flipped the hanger so I could get a look.

  “Not a problem.” I climbed off the bed. “Can I try it on?”

  “Uh, yes! I need to see it. Try it with the heeled boots.”

  “Are you sure you don’t mind me borrowing all this stuff?”

  She gave me a pointed look. “As if you even need to ask.”

  “Thank you.” Snatching up the shorts and boots, I disappeared into her small bathroom and stripped out of my clothes and shimmied into the outfit. The girl staring back at me was taller, thanks to the killer heels, but she was also older somehow. Wiser.

  Felicity was right. I didn’t look like a picture of happiness, my resting bitch face making my expression too serious. But I saw the subtle change in my eyes. The little sparkle. And I knew the root of it. The girl beyond the door, determined to make me look the part for our big night out. The boy I’d be walking hand in hand into the club with. Rixon was changing me and it wasn’t all bad. In fact, some of it was good.

  Very good.

  “The suspense is killing me,” Flick called through the door. “Are you done?”

  Taking a deep breath, I toyed with the material in the front, so it hung just right. “Okay,” I stepped back into the bedroom. “What do you think?”

  Her eyes went wide and she clapped, letting out a little shriek of approval. “Hell yes. Asher is going to die when he sees you.”

  “Well hopefully he won’t die. I kind of like having him around.”

  “This trip is going to be the best.” Felicity beamed. “Just promise me you’ll stick up for me if Vaughn makes a play for Jason.”

  “I got your back.” I shot her a playful wink. “Is Asher close to his cousins?”

  “Not really. I mean, they seemed friendly enough when we went before, but they don’t keep in regular contact or anything. Why do you ask?”

  “No reason.” The lie soured on my tongue. But I couldn’t tell her how the little voice in my head was whispering all kinds of things to me.

  “They’ll love you, Mya,” she said trying to reassure me. “You have nothing to worry about.”

  “Yeah.” I forced a smile, telling myself it didn’t matter what they thought.

  Even if I knew, deep down, it did.

  Asher

  Our trip to New York was finally underway. The smaller Rixon grew in the distance, the more I could breathe. My arm tightened around Mya, and she gazed up at me.

  “I can’t wait to see the skyline.” Her smile was easy, her words light, but I felt the lingering tension between us.

  I’d been a dick the other day at lunch with my mom. But when she’d brought up college, I had immediately gone to a dark place. I knew Mya thought it had something to do with her applying to Cleveland, but she was so far off the mark. That was the only good thing to come out of that conversation. Cleveland wasn’t Pittsburgh but it was close e-fucking-nough. Two hours was nothing. We could have stopovers, spend the weekends together, see each other every other day if we wanted.

  But that was the dream.

  The reality was much different.

  The reality was that my father wouldn’t want me going off to Pittsburgh still dating Mya. He’d want me single; available to date a long list of suitable girls.

  Girls like Kellie Ginly.

  Pittsburgh was a long way from Rixon though, long enough that we could keep it a secret from him, if it came down to it. Because I couldn’t lose her.

  “Where’d you go?” Mya brushed her nose across my jaw, commanding my attention.

  “Just thinking.”

  She cupped my face, turning me into her. “No thinking. Not today.” Mya kept her voice low, her words only meant for me. “We’re going to go to New York, to celebrate the new year, and have an amazing time with our friends. The rest can wait, okay?”

  Nodding, I pressed my head to Mya’s, letting my lips brush over hers. Her fingers tightened into my hoodie as she leaned closer, letting me deepen the kiss.

  This.

  This was what I needed.

  Her kisses.

  Her touch.

  Just her.

  Someone cleared their throat, Jason I think. But I didn’t care, and I didn’t stop. I kept kissing Mya, letting my tongue glide and tangle with hers. Igniting a firestorm inside me, flames searing me inside out.

  I would gladly burn for this girl.

  “I hope to fuck they aren’t going to do this for the whole ride.” There was no mistaking it was Jase this time. Mya chuckled against my mouth, the sound wrapping around my heart like a vise.

  “We should stop,” she breathed.

  “No,” I slid my hand into her hair, anchoring her face to mine, “we should keep going.”

  “Ash…”

  “Mya...” She didn’t resist when I captured her lips again, kissing her harder. Deeper. Kissing with her with everything I had.

  “Babe, if they carry on,” Flick said, “we might have to stop.”

  I finally broke the kiss, sliding my eyes up front to where Felicity sat beside Jason in the front of the minivan we’d hired. She leaned closer, whispering something to him. “Fuck,” he muttered, his eyes hard on the road.

  “Everything okay up there?”

  His eyes met mine in the mirror, and he grumbled, “I don’t know whether to high five you or throw you out of the van.”

  “Me? What the hell did I do?” I smothered a grin, settling back against the seat with Mya tucked into my side.

  Rixon was miles behind us now. Exactly where I wanted to leave it. Because my girl was right; this was our weekend.

  And not a single thing was going to ruin it.

  “Holy crap,” Mya gasped as we stepped out of the elevator and into the foyer of the penthouse. It was all glass and chrome and high-end decor. Completely over the top, and probably unworthy of its thousand-dollar-a-night price tag, but Dad’s brother, Uncle Mich, was all too willing to accommodate me and my friends. They were constantly trying to one up each other. Let the kids borrow the penthouse. Let the kids vacation in the Hamptons. Riley and Vaughn worked it to their advantage more than me though. Probably because their father cared even less than mine.

  Well, mine cared… just about the wrong things.

  “It’s something else, right?” Flick breezed past us as if she owned the place, Jason trailing after her.

  “I can’t... wow.” Mya’s eyes were big, awe glittering in her dark irises. “Your uncle owns this?”

  “Yeah. My dad uses it for business sometimes.” I moved up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. “It’s just an apartment.” My breath brushed the shell of her ear.

  “It’s really not. It’s... too much. I knew you were rich, Asher, but this is... wow.”

  I chuckled but it came out strained because I knew what she was thinking. “You belong here, with me,” I said.

  I didn’t want her to doubt us. Not in Rixon, not here, not anywhere. But I tried to put myself in her shoes, to imagine what it must be like to be the girl plucked out of a bad neighborhood and thrust into my life.

  Mya’s hand slid atop of my arms, hugging me back. “How many bedrooms are there?”

  “Enough.” My voice was husky as I
imagined her laid out before me in nothing but a smile and lust in her eyes. “But if we don’t hurry, Flick and Hailee will claim the best ones.”

  She turned in my arms. “They can have them. I’ve got all I need right here.” Mya leaned up, running her tongue along the seam of my mouth. I opened willingly, desperate to taste her again. We’d practically made out the entire journey and it still wasn’t enough.

  I still needed more.

  “Well, fuck me, it’s true.” My cousin Riley’s voice was like a bucket of cold water. Letting out a heavy sigh, I pressed my head to Mya’s, giving myself a second.

  “You must be Mya,” he said, coming closer.

  “Hi, it’s nice to meet you.”

  “I’m Riley and this moody bitch is my sister, Vaughn.” He flicked his head to the sullen girl standing at his side.

  “Hey,” she said coolly, giving Mya the once over before raising a brow at me. “Cousin.”

  “Vaughn, it’s good to see you,” I said, letting her slide her slender arms around my shoulder in an awkward hug.

  “We brought supplies, they’re in the car,” Riley said. “Where are the guys? Thought the three of you could come give me a hand and let the girls all catch up.”

  Vaughn glanced at me again, before she settled her focus back on Mya. I moved closer to my girl, wrapping my arm tighter around her waist, not liking the way my cousin was looking at her.

  “Actually,” I said, feeling all kinds of protective. “Why don’t you two get the supplies and I’ll send the guys down in a second?”

  “Yeah, whatever.” Riley gave me an easy smile, but I saw the tightness around his eyes. “Come on, sister of mine.” He marched out of the penthouse, Vaughn following behind.

  “So they’re your cousins,” Mya said, her eyes still trained on the door. “I can see the family resemblance between you and Riley, and Vaughn seems… nice.”

  I bristled at the tightness in her voice. “Don’t worry about Vaughn.”

  “Oh, I’m not worried,” Mya stood a little straighter, shooting me a bemused look. “She isn’t the first white girl who’s looked at me like I’m dirt on her shoe, and she won’t be the last.” She shucked out of my hold and took off deeper into the suite.