The Harder You Fall

by L A Cotton

  But for as much as I wanted to ignore his words, the reality was, my dad was right. Despite how fucking hard it was to admit it. Jermaine had been nothing more than a faceless name; an imaginary guy that couldn’t touch our relationship. A guy I hadn’t had to compete with.

  But now he was real.

  Now, I knew he had a wicked glint in his eye, an arrogant swagger, and a mean left hook.

  And worst of all, I knew he wasn’t going anywhere fast. Not unless Mya knew some magical way of sending her ex on his merry fucking way.

  Fuck.

  I clenched my fist involuntarily; completely forgetting that my knuckles were split open. But pain was good. Pain numbed all the other thoughts festering inside my mind.

  Soon enough, Dad turned off the road into our driveway. Without a word, I climbed out and made for the house. I didn’t want to listen to any more of his bullshit, and I certainly didn’t want to see the look of disappointment in Mom’s eyes.

  “Asher, wait,” she called. “I should really look at your—”

  “I’ve got it, Mom.” Digging my key out, I unlocked the door and hurried inside. I needed space. I needed to be alone. But the screech of tires had me glancing back.

  Headlights illuminated the driveway and my mother shrieked. Bolting out of the house, I came slamming to a stop when my eyes landed on Jermaine. “Where is she?” he yelled, his eyes wild.

  “You need to walk away, son.” Dad moved casually toward him, shielding Mom.

  “She’s not here,” I added, inching closer to Jermaine who was acting like a caged animal.

  “She didn’t leave with you?” He faltered, only for a second, and Dad dug out his cell phone, dialing nine-one-one. But before it connected, Jermaine pulled out a gun and aimed it straight at him. “You don’t wanna do that, old man,” he said.

  Everything slowed down.

  The thud of my pulse against my skull.

  The beat of my heart in my chest.

  Dad dropped his cell and lifted his hands.

  Slowly.

  Slowly.

  Slowly.

  “You don’t want to do this.” He sounded so calm, so composed. Like he’d been held at gunpoint a hundred times before.

  “A- Andrew.” Mom’s cry pierced the silence and Jermaine swung his aim around. I dove in front of her, throwing up my hands too.

  “Mya told me about you, you know?” I said, hoping to keep his thoughts on me and off the trigger. “She said you were best friends. Grew up together and everything.”

  “She talked about me?”

  “Yeah, man. You were her first everything, remember?”

  “So why the fuck is she runnin’ from me?”

  “I can’t answer that. But why don’t we call her?” I went to lower my hand, but he jabbed the gun toward me. “Whoa, easy.” My heart was in my throat. “I’m just going to call Mya and tell her you’re looking for her.”

  I didn’t want this psycho anywhere near her, but I didn’t know what else to do.

  He had a gun.

  A loaded fucking gun aimed right at me. Maybe if I could call her or text her, I could warn her. I could get her to alert the authorities.

  Think, Asher, think! I inched forward, careful to keep my mom behind me. “Asher, Son—”

  “Ssh, Dad, I got this.”

  “Jermaine, you don’t want to do this. Imagine what Mya will do when she finds out—”

  “Don’t be talkin’ like you know her. You don’t know her, I know her.” He turned the gun into himself, tapping it against his chest.

  “Why don’t you let my parents go on inside and we can talk? Man to man.”

  Mom whimpered, and I heard my dad quietly trying to comfort her. I needed them out of here, somewhere safe. Somewhere where he couldn’t touch them.

  Shit. I was in over my head.

  “Call her,” he demanded. “Tell her to come here.”

  As slowly as possible, I dug my cell out my jeans pocket and dialed Mya, all while keeping one eye on Jermaine.

  “Asher,” she breathed. “Thank God. I thought—”

  “I need you to come to my house.”

  “Asher, what is it? What’s wrong?”

  “Jermaine is here,” I kept my voice as even as possible. “He wants to talk to you.”

  “H- he’s there?” Hushed voices came over the line. I could pick out Jason and Felicity in the background.

  “Hurry,” I added, before hanging up. “It’ll take her at least ten minutes.”

  “I got time. I got all the fucking time in the world.”

  Mya made it in less than seven minutes, but it had felt like a year. The second she stepped out of Jason’s Dodge Charger, Jermaine seemed to relax. “You came.”

  “What’s going on, J?” Her tone was soft, but I didn’t miss the sheer horror in her eyes as she noticed the gun in his hand. “What did you do?”

  “Nothin’. I didn’t do nothin’ yet. I just needed you to listen.”

  “And you thought following my boyfriend home and threatening him and his parents with a gun was the way to get my attention?”

  “I wasn’t thinkin’. Shit, Mya, everything’s so fucked up.”

  “I can see that,” she seethed and I tried to catch her eye to silently ask her what the hell she was doing. But then it dawned on me; she wasn’t trying to aggravate him, she was trying to draw his attention off us to her.

  “Asher, Son, we should go inside and call the police,” Dad whispered.

  “You two go.” I kept my eye on Mya. “I’m not leaving her.”

  “Asher,” Dad hissed. “Now is not the time for heroics.”

  “I’m staying.”

  He and Mom moved toward the house just as Jermaine advanced on Mya. I didn’t have time to think as I lunged for him. He was so focused on her, he didn’t see me until it was too late. My body slammed into his and we toppled to the ground.

  “NO!” someone yelled as a gunshot went off. The gun clattered to the floor and Mya kicked it clear of Jermaine.

  “You’re okay,” I rasped, a little winded from the fall.

  Sirens sounded in the distance, and Mya helped me clamber to my feet. “What were you thinking?” she scolded me before falling into my arms. I held her tight as I searched for my parents to check they were all right. But something was wrong.

  Dad held Mom in his arms, his face ashen, his crisp white dress shirt stained red. “Dad?” I croaked, shoving Mya away and rushing over to his side. “What happened?”

  I’d seen my father wear many expressions. Anger. Indifference. Arrogance. But I’d never seen him look scared until that moment.

  “The bullet...” was all he managed to say.

  Two little words.

  Words that should never have passed his lips.

  Two little words I knew would change everything.

  Mya

  “What did you do?” I lunged for Jermaine as he staggered to his feet. “What the fuck did you do?” My fists rained down on his chest, his face. My nails scratched, tearing flesh and drawing blood, as I shrieked at him over and over until my lungs burned and tears stung my eyes.

  Eventually, strong arms wrapped around my waist, hauling me off him. “Easy, Mya.” It was Jason. “Easy.”

  “I… fuck.” Jermaine’s eyes were wide and skittish as the drone of sirens drew closer. “I didn’t mean to… fuck!” He rubbed the heel of his palms against his forehead.

  “Yo, J, we need to roll,” one of his guys yelled, but it was too late. The flash of blue and red illuminated the inky sky. The Chevy gunned to life, speeding away as Jermaine’s friends abandoned him.

  “You’re dead, you’re fucking dead.” Asher rushed at my ex, tackling him to the ground, the two of them a blur of limbs.

  “Asher, no!” The words tore from my throat as I watched the guy I love rain fire and fury down on the guy I’d once loved. Jermaine didn’t fight back. He just lay there, letting Asher beat him to a bloody pulp until the blood on
his hands swirled with Jermaine’s blood.

  “Do something,” I cried, barely aware that Jason was holding me up.

  A couple of officers arrived, dragging Asher off Jermaine. He fought against them, thrashing and yelling, tears streaming down his face. It wasn’t until the EMTs arrived and started working on Mrs. Bennet, that he finally calmed down.

  “I need to go to him,” I whispered, pain coiled so tightly around my heart I could barely breathe.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea. Let me go talk to him.” Jason handed me off to Felicity who I hadn’t even realized was there.

  “Ssh,” she hugged me, “it’s going to be okay.”

  But nothing was okay.

  Mrs. Bennet was bleeding out on the ground while her son sat motionless, his eyes completely devoid of emotion, his hands and face and clothes caked in blood. His mom’s. Jermaine’s.

  His own.

  “This is my fault,” I sobbed into my friend’s shoulder, clutching her arm like it was the only thing anchoring me to Earth.

  “Don’t say that, you couldn’t have known he would do this.”

  But she was wrong.

  I should have known Jermaine wouldn’t just let me walk away.

  I’d been too blinded by love though. Gotten too comfortable being in Rixon, with Asher and my new friends. I’d foolishly let myself believe things could be different, that I deserved more from life.

  The EMTs got Mrs. Bennet secured onto the stretcher, and I tore from Flick’s hold, hurrying over to them. “I’m sorry.” I reached for her. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  “I hope you’re happy,” Mr. Bennet said coldly. “None of this would have happened if it wasn’t for you.”

  “I didn’t… I wasn’t…” The lame excuses dried on my tongue, a garbled sound escaping my throat, as every whisper and rumor about me came true.

  “Mom.” The pain in Asher’s voice made my legs buckle, the sheer force of his agony hitting me like a tsunami. Felicity caught me as father and son walked beside Mrs. Bennet’s lifeless body.

  “We need to move out,” one of the EMTs said, motioning for everyone to give them room.

  Jason came over to us and I grabbed his hand. “What did he say?”

  The small shake of his head told me everything I needed to know, and a fresh wave of tears rushed to the surface.

  “Asher,” I yelled, my voice cutting the air like a knife. He slowed down, moving aside to let the medics load his mom inside the ambulance. His eyes found mine, but it wasn’t my Asher staring back at me.

  “Oh God,” I choked out, hardly able to breathe through the tears.

  “She’ll be okay,” Felicity said, unable to disguise the quiver in her voice. “They’ll save her.”

  “I should go with him, he needs me.” I tried to break free, but Jason hooked his arm around my waist, tucking me into his body.

  “Let him be,” he whispered. “Right now, he needs to be with his family.”

  “Miss Hernandez?” A deep voice said, and I peeked out the comfort of Jason’s big body to find an officer staring at me with sympathy. “I’m going to need you to come with me.”

  “Go with you?” Flick stepped in front of me, shielding me. “Go where?”

  “We’d like Miss Hernandez to come down to the station and answer a few questions.”

  “She can give you her statement here. She’s in no state to go anywhere right now.”

  “It’s okay,” I said, untangling myself from my friends.

  “Mya, you don’t have to do this. Not right this second.”

  My gaze flicked to where the ambulance was backing out of the Bennets’ driveway, a strange numbness seeping through me.

  “Miss Hernandez, this way please.” The officer took my arm, leading me toward the cop car.

  “Jason,” I heard Flick hiss, “do something.”

  “Hang tight, Mya, we’ll figure all this out,” Jason called after me.

  But it was too late.

  The damage was done.

  Mrs. Bennet was leaving the scene in an ambulance and I was leaving in a police cruiser.

  And my past… my past had finally caught up with me.

  “Thank God you’re okay.” Felicity ignored the officer at the desk and slung her arms around me.

  “Hey,” I croaked. “Thanks for waiting.”

  “Are you kidding me? They led you away like you’re somehow responsible for all this. It’s not right.”

  I hugged her again, feeling a rush of emotion. “How is he?” My voice was cracked, my throat raw from all the tears. From reliving what had happened at the Bennets’.

  “Mrs. Bennet is still in surgery; they don’t know anything yet.”

  My eyes shuttered as I sucked in a harsh breath. “But how is he?”

  Flick pressed her lips together, shaking her head a little. “He’s… broken. Jase and Cam are with him right now.”

  “Will you take me there?”

  “Mya, listen…” she hesitated. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. Mr. Bennet is—”

  “I need to see him, Felicity, please.”

  “Okay. Let me make a quick call. I’ll meet you outside.” She hurried away before I could argue. I knew she was calling Jason to see how things were at the hospital, and I also knew I didn’t care. I had to see Asher.

  It had been the longest, haziest ninety minutes of my life. The officers had arrested Jermaine and wanted my statement. But I hadn’t anticipated how hard it would be to recall everything.

  After I was debriefed and given the card for the presiding officer in the case, I went in search of Felicity. She was on the phone, pacing in front of her car. “She has a right to be there,” I heard her say. “No, Jason, I… okay, okay. I have to go.” She noticed me standing there. “Love you too, bye.”

  “Any news?” I wrapped my arms around myself, a chill working its way up my spine.

  “Not yet. Listen, why don’t I take you home? It’s been a traumatic night for everyone and I’m sure your aunt will—”

  “I know you’re only looking out for me, but I have to see him, Felicity. Put yourself in my shoes.”

  “Okay,” she said weakly. “I’ll give you a ride.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You should probably know the story already broke on local news channels,” she said, as we climbed into her sunshine yellow Beetle. The car had always made me smile, but not tonight.

  “I can only imagine what they’re saying.” I pressed my head against the window as the town I’d come to call home rolled by.

  “Pay no attention.”

  “Easy for you to say. It wasn’t your gangbanger ex who shot the wife of one of the town’s most respected businessmen.” Bile clawed its way up my throat and I retched.

  “Shit! Here.” Flick handed me a bottle of water from the center console.

  “Thanks.” My head rolled back against the headrest as I took a big swallow, letting the cold liquid douse the flames in my throat.

  “What will happen to him? Jermaine, I mean?”

  “They’re going to push for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. If she… d- dies…” The words lodged in my throat, silent tears rolling down my cheeks.

  Felicity reached across and grabbed my hand. “Don’t think like that. She’ll be okay. She has to be okay.”

  The cloying scent of disinfectant assaulted my senses the second I stepped foot inside the hospital. I hated these places. Sure, they were a place of help and healing, but most of my experiences were wrapped up in tragedy and trauma. Not to mention the last time I was in a hospital bed was because my boyfriend’s enemies had left me beaten and bloody on the ground. I could still remember lying there, trying to ignore the pain radiating through my body. I could still hear their taunts, see the bloodlust in their eyes as they made me watch as they beat Jermaine, before turning on me. I could still remember praying for a way out of a life I was sure would get him killed. If not both of us.

 
It seemed like some bad kind of karma that I was here now, awaiting news of whether my boyfriend’s mom was going to survive.

  “Jason said they’re on the third floor, come on.” Felicity took my hand, and I was so grateful to have her beside me.

  People watched as we approached the elevator, their curious stares brushing up against me. I knew news had already broken about the shooting, but the hospital was in the next town over. People couldn’t know I was the girl from the incident. But they only had to take one look at my brown skin and my disheveled appearance to draw their own conclusions.

  It seemed so petty now, to worry about their narrow-minded views when Mrs. Bennet was lying on an operating table as the surgeons tried to save her life.

  The elevator doors pinged open, pulling me from my inner turmoil and Flick ushered me inside. “How are you holding up?” she asked me.

  “I feel like I’m in a bad dream,” I said quietly. “Like any moment I’ll wake up and realize none of this is real.”

  But it was real, and it wasn’t going away.

  “At least they got Jermaine. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.”

  Strangely, that didn’t make me feel any better.

  We stepped off the elevator a few seconds later, and I immediately saw him.

  “Asher...” I breathed, his name a pained sigh on my lips. He was standing against the wall, his head tipped back, eyes closed. Someone had tried to clean the blood off his hands and face, streaking red all up his neck and arms.

  Jason spotted us first, his eyes darkening when they landed on me. “Hey,” he said slowly approaching us. “I thought I told you—”

  “Jason,” Flick warned. “She has every right to be here.”

  “I just want to see him,” I sniffled. “To see how he is.”

  “His mom’s bleeding out in the OR. How do you think he is?”

  Guilt slithered through my chest as I gaped at him. This wasn’t the guy who had held me earlier, offering me comfort and reassurance. This was the formidable Jason Ford I’d heard so much about. The guy who protected his own and guarded his heart. The guy who wasn’t afraid to draw lines in sand between him and his enemies.