Heart of the Billionaire:

by J. S. Scott

  Maddie held her breath, knowing he would either trust her or he wouldn’t. With his past, she knew it wouldn’t be easy.

  “If you touch me, I doubt I can be still,” he warned her with forced amusement, taking his hand away and locking them both behind his head. “But I’ll try. I trust you, Sunshine.”

  She released her breath in an audible sigh, her hand sliding further into his underwear to connect with his rock hard cock. She smoothed her fingers over the velvet softness of the skin encasing his large member, using her index finger to softly spread a droplet of moisture on the head around the sensitive area.

  Maddie felt Sam’s body tense, so she kept her touch light, spreading kisses along his temple and whispering into his ear, “You feel so good. So hard. So masculine. I’ve wanted to touch you for so long.”

  “Fuck. Maddie,” he said in an agonized groan.

  “Yes,” she breathed softly into his ear.

  “Your touch feels so good. So different,” Sam choked out harshly. “No pain.”

  “Never,” Maddie agreed. “Only pleasure.” She moved lower, grasping the elastic of his boxers and smoothly slid them down to his thighs.

  Sam lifted his hips, allowing her to remove them.

  “Don’t move too much,” she reminded him as her hand grasped his cock, moving sensuously along his shaft.

  “Right,” he heaved, lifting his pelvis for her stroking hand.

  Slipping further down so her face was at his hips, she asked, “Can I taste you? Please?”

  There was nothing she wanted more than to taste Sam’s essence, but she didn’t want to do it without permission. Not until he was used to being touched with love instead of violence and malice.

  “Will it feel as fucking good as your fingers?” he asked, his voice graveled.

  “Better,” she answered with a smile.

  “Then for God’s sake take me in your mouth,” he demanded.

  Maddie relaxed, lowering her mouth to his cock, determined to make this a good experience for Sam. She wasn’t exactly experienced, but she was a doctor and knew her anatomy and what would feel good.

  She sighed and opened her mouth to finally taste his cock.

  *****

  Sam shuddered as Maddie took him between her lips, her tongue swirling around the head before immersing his member into the hot, wet cavern of her mouth. The sensation nearly had him coming before she had barely begun.

  Maddie. Maddie. All I’ve ever wanted is for you to claim me forever.

  There were no ghosts from his past haunting him. He knew who held him enthralled, whose sweet, soft lips were wrapped around his cock, driving him nearly insane with yearning.

  His battered body probably should have been aching, but the only thing he could feel was the exquisite, mind-blowing erotic pleasure of Maddie’s tongue stroking along the sensitive tip of his cock, twirling downward and finally taking a long suck like his dick was a lollipop.

  Christ! How have I lived without this? How have I survived without her?

  Truth was, he had barely existed without her, living every day in survival mode, immersing himself in work and acquiring power, so much control that he would never be vulnerable again. Only to this particular woman had he ever been vulnerable and still was. Did he care? Oh, hell no. He fucking needed her, and when he had seen his whole life teetering on that staircase earlier in the evening he had realized that he would never live through losing her again.

  Propping himself up on his elbows, he watched her in the moonlight, her bright hair illuminated as she bobbed up and down on him. Perspiration poured from his face as she licked and sucked, setting his entire body on fire. He shuddered as her pace quickened, her lips tightening around him.

  Sam collapsed back against the pillows with a groan, unable to keep himself from spearing his fingers into her hair and guiding her mouth up and down his cock, the erotic sensations bombarding him. He was lost, conflicted between wanting to pull her up and bury himself inside her to claim her or let her go on making him crazy with her mouth.

  Mine.

  No other woman had ever wanted to please him like this with no motivation other than love.

  She loves me. Christ. I’m a lucky son of bitch.

  His cock pulsated and he groaned with abandon as her sweet lips tormented him, up and down, until he was mad with yearning.

  So far gone, he never even flinched when her soft hand caressed his balls gently and moved to his ass, her finger gently moving into his anus. She didn’t go far, just far enough to send him over the edge, the gentle caress with the tip of her finger so erotic that his head nearly exploded as his warm release flooded her mouth.

  “Maddie. Fuck!” he groaned, completely gone. His woman had sucked him dry and he was bucking with his explosive orgasm.

  Panting, he yanked her up and over him, desperate for the feel of her warm body plastered against his.

  “No. Sam. I don’t want to hurt you,” she said, resisting. She settled next to him, her hand resting lightly on his forehead, stroking the hair away from his soaked forehead.

  “Then don’t ever leave me. That would kill me,” he answered, trying to get air in and out of his lungs.

  Somehow, Sam felt like every moment of his life had been leading up to this, to her finally belonging to him.

  “Take it easy. Relax. Your ribs were bruised,” Maddie answered, her voice concerned.

  She had just turned his world upside down, and she expected him to relax? “There hasn’t ever been a moment since we met that I didn’t want you, Sunshine. Not ever. I wanted you back then, but I didn’t feel like I was good enough for you.”

  She sighed softly. “I loved you then too. Just the way you were, Sam.”

  Sam’s heart thundered against the wall of his chest and he wondered if he’d ever get used to her saying those words to him. He didn’t think so. “Tell me again,” he demanded. “Say it.”

  “I love you, Sam Hudson. I always have,” she answered with a smile in her voice.

  “We’re getting married. Soon.” He pulled her tighter against him and grunted with satisfaction as her warm body melted into him. “Don’t move.”

  “I think you’re the most stubborn man on the planet,” she said indignantly.

  “You love me. You know you do,” he grunted.

  “Yeah. I do,” she breathed softly against his shoulder.

  Damn. Her answer is so much better than Simon’s.

  Sam yawned, his eyes fluttering closed. He could feel the tempo of Maddie’s breath slowing against his shoulder, knowing she was falling asleep. He lay there for a moment, his eyes closed, savoring the feel of happiness and inner peace, and then he slept.

  Chapter 14

  Several days later, Sam entered Maddie’s silent house, flipping on the lights as he went, determined to make it back to his house before she arrived home from work. He was cooking a special dinner for her and he had finally found the perfect ring to put on her finger, a heart-shaped diamond surrounded by smaller stones and set in platinum. He had picked it up from the jeweler today, and he was eager to put it on her finger, branding her as his forever.

  Looking around her cozy home, he could almost feel the warmth of her personality flowing through the living room, and he was positive he could scent her essence in the air.

  This house feels like Maddie.

  He wandered the home for a few moments, taking in the mementos and figurines she must have collected through the years, things that would soon find a resting place in his house.

  She makes my house feel like a home.

  Maddie had stayed with him since his accident, catering to his every need except the most urgent one. He wanted her so badly, needed to bury himself inside of her warmth so desperately, that he was restless and edgy. His body was healed. Although he was still black and blue in some places, he didn’t hurt anymore. The only thing aching was his cock, and Madeline was the only person who could take care of that particular ailment, one he pl
anned on curing tonight before he went completely insane.

  Making his way to her bedroom, he pocketed Maddie’s daily planner and some earrings from her jewelry box. There were a several personal items that she had wanted before the movers came the next day, and he tracked down every one of them, stopping in a small bedroom that had been made into a makeshift office and library. He grabbed the novel she was currently reading and turned to leave when his attention was caught by a large collection of untitled books on one of the shelves. Curious, he pulled one out and looked at the cover.

  Madeline’s Journal - 1998

  Flipping the cover open, he looked at the writing, knowing it was penned by Maddie’s hand. He’d never known Maddie had kept a journal, and it was obviously a habit she had followed for years. There were at least thirty journals on the shelves. The entries were sporadic. Sometimes she went for several months without writing anything, and sometimes something was entered every day. He was about the close the book when one particular entry caught his eye.

  I lost my virginity today. Lance and I have been dating for five months and I honestly didn’t feel I could deny him anymore. I wish I had. It hurt, and even though it only lasted a few minutes, it seemed like forever. I just lay there and prayed for the whole experience to be over. Lance didn’t tell me he loved me. He never has, and I really don’t think he actually does. Why am I in this relationship? Am I so desperate to forget Sam, so incredibly lonely that I’m settling for something I really don’t want? I feel so damn confused. I hate Sam Hudson, yet as I was hoping for a quick end to my first sexual experience, all I could think about was the fact that it should have been Sam.

  Sam’s jaw clenched as he read, his fingers tightening on the journal as he read the next entry two weeks later.

  I broke it off with Lance. I couldn’t take it. Other women think I’m insane because he’s handsome, wealthy and popular on campus, but that doesn’t matter to me. All I know is that I can’t bear for him to touch me anymore. I have to get totally drunk to even let him have sex with me. It doesn’t feel right. It isn’t right. Maybe sex is good for other women because most of my classmates rave about it, but it isn’t for me. Lance told me I’m not a sexual woman and that I’m cold and frigid. Maybe he’s right, but I can’t help but think that he just isn’t the right guy. Anyway, I’m done with sex. Until I can find a guy who makes me feel the way that Sam used to make me feel, I’m not having sex again. It makes me feel so lonely and hopeless, even worse than actually being alone.

  Sam slammed the book closed, unable to read about Maddie’s pain and confusion for another moment. It had been so similar to his sexual experiences in the past. When he had sex with a woman he’d needed to pretend it was Maddie to even get through it. The act brought physical release, but it had also left him so empty inside that sometimes he went without for very long periods of time unable to stomach being with any woman who wasn’t Maddie.

  Obviously, she had never tried it again, never found a man she wanted to be with in all the years they were separated.

  She abstained and I tried to pretend, leaving both of us miserable in different ways.

  Sam put the book back in its place on the shelf and pulled out the previous volume, making himself read the entries from his time together with Maddie. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair as he read, his chest aching as he read about how heartbroken she had been about the incident with Kate. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t known, but reading her words brought him back to that time and place, made her pain so much more real, and his as well.

  That was the day his soul had nearly died. Honestly, he had thought it was gone completely until he had seen Maddie again and she had dug down deep inside him to bring it back to life. The memories had never faded and he’d lived with his actions ever since. Constantly, over and over, torturing himself with thoughts of the pain he had caused Maddie and the agonized expression on her face for years now. Every day he had despised himself, wondering if he had done the right thing, hating himself for breaking her faith in him. His only consolation had been the fact that she was safe, unharmed. But it was a cold comfort in comparison to seeing that broken look on her beautiful face, reliving the experience day after day, and hating himself for being the man who had betrayed her trust.

  As he closed that volume, he struggled for breath, letting himself actually feel the loneliness and desolation that had been a part of him for so long. Until he had seen Maddie again. Until she had healed him and brought him back to life. The vulnerability she brought out in him might terrify the hell out of him, but the thought of being without her was a hell of a lot worse than struggling through his fear.

  Distractedly, he pulled out the most recent journal, flipping through the pages until he got to the last one, a recent entry that had only been written several days ago.

  Sam still hasn’t told me that he loves me. I know he must love me because I don’t think I could feel the way that I feel if he didn’t feel the same. He proves his love in so many ways and I can feel it in his touch. I guess sometimes I just wish he would say it. It would actually be the first time in my entire life that someone said those words to me, and more than anything, I want to hear them first from Sam.

  Sam replaced the book on the shelf with more force than necessary. “Fuck! Is it true? Have I never told her?” His fists clenched and his brows drew together, thinking furiously about the past few weeks. He had told her how much he needed her…which he did. But love? Had he really not said those words to her?

  “Selfish bastard,” he mumbled, chastising himself. She had told him so many times, sometimes with him prompting her, but others when he didn’t. Maddie had opened herself to him completely, soothing his soul with her words. And he had never said the words back to her.

  His heart sank, realizing that she had never had anyone tell her they loved her. Not once. Ever. Hell, even he had heard it from his mother and occasionally from his brother, and now from the woman who meant more to him than anything or anyone else in the entire world.

  “I love you, Madeline,” he whispered huskily to the empty room, hoping she could feel it across the distance that separated them.

  Sam thought about texting her, but it was something she needed to hear in person. Over and over again. It wasn’t that he didn’t love her. Maybe the problem was that he loved her so damn much that the words seemed inadequate.

  There were packing boxes everywhere, everything in place for the movers to come tomorrow and start packing and moving Maddie’s stuff to his place. He pulled a few of them in front of the bookshelves, packing her journals carefully into the boxes and sealing them with a roll of strapping tape.

  These are private. Madeline’s written emotions.

  After he had made sure the boxes were so taped up that it would take a miracle to get them open, he labeled them with a marker as personal books. He didn’t want anyone else packing them, possibly looking at them. They were chronicles of her heartbreak, pain, thoughts and triumphs.

  Mine. I love her. She fucking belongs to me. Always has and always will.

  As he strode toward the door, he remember Simon’s breakdown in their offices when his little brother finally admitted that he loved Kara. Sam shook his head as he locked the door to Maddie’s house, finally knowing exactly how his brother had felt at that time. Sam had an irrational fixation with Maddie, a possessive obsession that would more than rival the one Simon had for Kara. He and Simon might be different, but deep down inside, they were much the same when it came to the one woman in their life who could turn them inside out and upside down.

  “She makes me happy, crazy, possessive, insane, ecstatic, maniacal…every emotion all at the same time,” he said in a perplexed voice, getting into his Bugatti. “How the hell can that be?”

  Strangely enough, it really didn’t bother him. It made him feel…alive.

  Taking a quick glance at his watch as he pulled out of the driveway, his grin broadened. He had time to stop at the jewelers o
ne more time, one more thing he needed to do before he went home.

  Tonight, he planned on giving Maddie more love than she could handle…in more ways than one.

  *****

  “He hasn’t told you he loves you? That’s not exactly a shocker. It took Simon a while. I guess the Hudson men just seem to think we’re psychic,” Kara’s disgusted voice sounded from Maddie’s hands-free phone connection in her new SUV. “But you know he does.”

  Maddie sighed as she made a smooth right turn, bringing her closer to home.

  Home. Sam’s home. Our home. When my things are moved tomorrow, I’ll be permanently together with Sam.

  “Are you kidding? The crazy man nearly jumped to his death to save me from getting bruised up and injured. I don’t doubt it. Not for a moment,” Maddie answered Kara emphatically, speaking louder than she probably needed to because she knew her friend was in another country right now.

  “I’m so happy you agreed to marry him,” Kara said, her voice sincere. “He loves you, Maddie. I think he always has.”

  “I know he does.” I just wish he’d say it. Just once. “How’s my future godchild?”

  “He’s fine. Both of us are eating too much,” Kara answered, her laughter and Simon’s growl flowing through the speaker in the car. “Simon, I told you it’s a boy,” Kara’s voice was muffled, the last comment directed at her husband who was probably sitting right beside her. “When are you moving in with Sam?” Kara questioned, her attention back on Maddie.

  “I basically already have, but it’s official tomorrow. My stuff is being packed and brought by movers.”

  Kara whistled through the phone line. “He’s not wasting any time, is he?”

  Maddie rolled her eyes. Sam had called the movers the day after they had tumbled down the stairs, arranging everything in just a phone call. “Nope. But I wasn’t exactly protesting,” she admitted. She didn’t want to be away from Sam anymore. They had been separated long enough.